Author Topic: Good Jokes  (Read 37790 times)

Offline Shadonking

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Good Jokes
« on: September 07, 2008, 02:21:21 AM »
what does a man with a 10inc c*ck have for breakfast

(someone then says what)

you then say, well i had an egg this morning, lol






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Offline Diokatsu

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Re: joke's
« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2008, 07:12:02 AM »
Whats the difference between a carnival worker and your mother?

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Re: joke's
« Reply #2 on: September 07, 2008, 06:35:24 PM »
what is the difference





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Offline Valcos

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Re: joke's
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2008, 06:38:17 AM »
10 inchs isnt that big  :huh:
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Re: joke's
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2008, 12:39:54 AM »
what ever come up with a random number :P

say 50inc if you think its funnyer





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Re: joke's
« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2008, 02:03:20 AM »
Lmfao....holy crap thats big  8-O

Well, I had egg this morning  :^_^':
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Re: joke's
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2008, 11:03:44 PM »
nice one :^_^':

any one else got jokes to share.





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Offline Starrodkirby86

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Re: joke's
« Reply #7 on: September 19, 2008, 12:44:49 AM »
I've heard of this one recently, and I'm not a big fan of jokes, but oh well, let's see...

A panda walks into a tavern and orders some food. After eating the ordered food, the panda grabs out a gun, and then shoots everyone. One of the survivors of the shooting asked the panda, who was in the process of leaving, "Why did you shoot us!?" The panda said, "Read this about pandas." He gave the man a dictionary/encyclopedia. On the entry, it says: Panda. Eats, shoots and leaves.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #8 on: September 19, 2008, 12:54:16 AM »
Starrod missed the point. You leave the joke to be answered by the next person xD

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Re: joke's
« Reply #9 on: September 19, 2008, 12:59:44 AM »
Doing something like that is just a free post count excuse, and jokes aren't necessarily having to be a Person A Person B talk. It can be one humorous scenario, that is also a joke.

Besides, the instructions here were left pretty...vague. The first post could signify either you need someone to reply or you can just say a joke and instead of the second person replying you'll go (Second person says "What?"). It's kind of...open-ended, you know?

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Re: joke's
« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2008, 01:32:51 AM »
A guy walks into a bar.

Lmao... the other one i forgot who on the forum said it in chat but... its the one about hitler and the jews and clowns  :^_^':

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Re: joke's
« Reply #11 on: September 20, 2008, 12:10:19 AM »
umm...im thinking a guy walks into a bar then he throws a penny between 2 jews and watches them FIGHT TO THE DEATH!
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Offline Diokatsu

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Re: joke's
« Reply #12 on: September 20, 2008, 12:16:38 AM »
That's one of the most incredibly racist things I've ever heard. If this continues I'll request a lock if that doesn't warrant one already.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #13 on: September 20, 2008, 07:17:40 PM »
A man driving a car stops near a lake. He gets down and asks a farmer sitting near the lake "Is this lake deep?" so the farmer says no and the guy tries to get his car to get through it. He then realises it is atleast 20 feet deep, his car sinks and he miraculously saves his life and tells the farmer, "Crazy ass! I could've drowned! You said it wasn't deep!" So, the farmer says: "I dunno sir, it comes to the waists of the ducks"

Badumpshhhhhhhh


/blizzardjoke.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #14 on: September 21, 2008, 03:06:26 AM »
ok sry i forgot but im NOT racist!I just heard it on some youtube video with jeff dunham.lol.
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Offline Shadonking

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Re: joke's
« Reply #15 on: September 21, 2008, 06:42:53 PM »
YO dont worry, im sure no one is rasist here.

pluss the joke was funny :haha:.

but do be careful, we dont want people getting the wrong idea.


also the other jokes are great, keep them coming.

i'll try posting some more when i find some.





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Re: joke's
« Reply #16 on: September 21, 2008, 07:02:06 PM »
u should see how jeff says it with his puppet Achmed the Dead Terrorist :O.o:
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Offline Starrodkirby86

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Re: joke's
« Reply #17 on: September 21, 2008, 07:07:00 PM »
Oh yeah, a very popular ventriloquism sort of gig...Really humorous. There's a lot of jokes, but it's definitely not the cleanest pot of gold...I'll link it here, that'll be my joke. :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go

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Re: joke's
« Reply #18 on: September 22, 2008, 01:59:02 AM »
funny stuff...funny stuff...
Achmed says:I KILL the Jews!
Kool Aid Man Says:OH YEAAAA!!!
note im not racist.just mixing achmed with kool aid is not rly racist i think lol.
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Offline Diokatsu

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Re: joke's
« Reply #19 on: September 22, 2008, 05:20:59 AM »

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Re: joke's
« Reply #20 on: September 22, 2008, 11:44:30 AM »
ZOMG!AWESOME JOKES IN THAT LINK!
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Offline Blizzard

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Re: joke's
« Reply #21 on: September 22, 2008, 03:16:59 PM »
That remembers me of this one...

An Afro-American and a Latino-American are in a car. Who's driving?

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« Last Edit: September 22, 2008, 03:18:24 PM by Blizzard »
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Re: joke's
« Reply #22 on: September 23, 2008, 04:52:17 AM »
Racism strikes again xD

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Re: joke's
« Reply #23 on: September 25, 2008, 11:29:47 PM »
i just got this joke from my sis. it made me lol.

HOW A MAN CHOOSES A WIFE

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« Last Edit: September 25, 2008, 11:31:41 PM by Shadonking »





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Re: joke's
« Reply #24 on: September 25, 2008, 11:42:05 PM »
Lol, I know that one.
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I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

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When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Offline Shadonking

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Re: joke's
« Reply #25 on: September 25, 2008, 11:54:57 PM »
its been going around awhile now with people emailing it to loads of people.

but it desserved to be posted. :haha:





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Offline Valcos

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Re: joke's
« Reply #26 on: September 29, 2008, 02:46:37 AM »
Lmao... Id probably do the same thing  :haha:.
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Re: joke's
« Reply #27 on: September 29, 2008, 03:23:16 PM »
What did the beaver say to the tree?

Nice Gnawing you!

Yeah, it sucks.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #28 on: September 29, 2008, 03:31:32 PM »
Actually I laughed. xD
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Re: joke's
« Reply #29 on: September 29, 2008, 03:59:51 PM »
ok, here's one of my favorite jokes.

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Offline Valcos

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Re: joke's
« Reply #30 on: September 30, 2008, 05:14:53 AM »
PWNED!!  :^_^':

I dont tell jokes  :<_<:
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Re: joke's
« Reply #31 on: September 30, 2008, 05:31:17 AM »
I didn't even laugh!

Offline Blizzard

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Re: joke's
« Reply #32 on: October 01, 2008, 06:24:01 PM »
"Become a nerd xor get a life trying."

xD
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I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

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Offline Pokol DaErran

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Re: joke's
« Reply #33 on: October 02, 2008, 05:14:36 AM »
A HORRIBLE joke I read somewhere.  :^_^':
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And now for an even WORSE one I made up. :O.o:
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Re: joke's
« Reply #34 on: October 02, 2008, 05:51:07 AM »
There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that get the joke and those who don't.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #35 on: October 02, 2008, 05:56:36 AM »
What are the other 8 types of people?  :huh:
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Re: joke's
« Reply #36 on: October 02, 2008, 11:51:25 AM »
There are 10 types of people. Those who understand binary and those who don't.
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I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney Stinson
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #37 on: October 03, 2008, 08:43:27 AM »
Banana - Knock-Knock
Man behind door - Who'se there
Banana - Banana
Man behind door - Banana who?
Banana - Knock-Knock
Man behind door - Who'se there
Banana - Banana
Man behind door - Banana who?
Banana - Knock-Knock
Man behind door - Who'se there
Banana - Banana
Man behind door - Banana who?
Orange - Knock-Knock
Man behind door - Who'se there
Orange - Orange
Man behind door - Orange who
Orange - Orange you glad i didn't bust down this door and kick your ass for ot letting my good buddy Banana in??


Actually, i kno this reaaaallly funny joke, but its it may be considered quite racist, i'm african american and the joke is about african americans, me and my friends find it hilarious but i wuld prefer if i got permission before i told it, n i would put it in spoilers as an extra precaution.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #38 on: October 03, 2008, 12:59:35 PM »
I think it's ok. Just don't encourage racist behavior, it's just a joke.
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Quote from: winkio
I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney Stinson
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #39 on: October 03, 2008, 04:54:20 PM »
There are 10 types of people. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

LOL

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Re: joke's
« Reply #40 on: October 03, 2008, 06:26:57 PM »
o.k here i goes:




How do you get a black man out of a tree?
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.........lmao i'm sorry i'm tearing up at my comp

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Re: joke's
« Reply #41 on: October 03, 2008, 06:57:51 PM »
Actually I don't get it. O.o;
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Quote from: winkio
I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney Stinson
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #42 on: October 03, 2008, 07:07:10 PM »
lol o o.k,sry, i 4get the whole wrld dnt think like me n my friends do

think southern slavery, n how they use to hang slaves >_>

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Re: joke's
« Reply #43 on: October 03, 2008, 07:08:00 PM »
I think he'strying to say black people get the noose...Like black people are hanged

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Re: joke's
« Reply #44 on: October 03, 2008, 07:11:42 PM »
I know that, but what has being in a tree to do with getting hanged on a tree?
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Quote from: winkio
I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney Stinson
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #45 on: October 03, 2008, 07:50:34 PM »
Mistakenly, Conflict thought that Hanging people occured in trees. Typically, it would be done in a town square with a device to perform the deed. Of course, if the slave owner was cruel, he may have hanged the slave locally to avoid expense, assuming it might have cost something to frame a slave or to at least dispose of tyhe corpse

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Re: joke's
« Reply #46 on: October 03, 2008, 07:58:35 PM »
Ah, he meant "on trees". Yeah, I thought so already, but still. It's not very funny. Flick can do better. :D
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Re: joke's
« Reply #47 on: October 04, 2008, 01:28:09 AM »
well actually the joke isn't mines, is just a common joke me and my friends say amongst eachother because of em found it on some website

but dont worry, as blizzard said, i can do better and i wont post again until i have something WONDERFUL :P

on topic:
Why does Barack Obama keep preaching about CHANGE?
C.H.A.N.G.E - Come Help a N-word Get Elected!

^ Dumb, just using to stay on topic

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Re: joke's
« Reply #48 on: October 04, 2008, 05:23:16 AM »
My, that's...nice.  :roll: Oh the sarcasm is just oozing out of that sentence!!!

If you fellows want a whole bundle of jokes, I got some right here...Just wait. Let me dig up a link.

* Starrodkirby86 goes to find a link. After minutes, he comes back all bruised.

I have it! :D

http://forum.chaos-project.com/index.php/topic,67.0.html

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Offline Diokatsu

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Re: joke's
« Reply #49 on: October 04, 2008, 06:38:25 AM »
Why does Barack Obama keep preaching about CHANGE?

Obviously he needs change...He's black, therefore is poor >.>;

Anyone have some change? Barack needs your spare change!

Note:::I am a Barack Supporter, and I am NOT rascist

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Re: joke's
« Reply #50 on: October 08, 2008, 12:08:06 AM »
Conflict... the rascists jokes arent that funny :O.o:. Not to be rude but if you and your friends enjoy making black jokes all the time.... thats a bit odd :huh:.

A guy wakes into a bar... and hes black :huh:? Yeah not to funny.
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Re: joke's
« Reply #51 on: October 11, 2008, 08:20:02 PM »
Yet more horrible jokes. :evil:
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How do you know when your dog is spoiled?
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Re: joke's
« Reply #52 on: October 12, 2008, 02:42:06 AM »
Lol I liked the dog one :up: Think it should have been you sleep on the edge of the bed tho  :P
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Re: joke's
« Reply #53 on: October 12, 2008, 01:30:22 PM »
Yeah me, too. Cell bone and homework, lol!
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Re: joke's
« Reply #54 on: October 12, 2008, 07:16:04 PM »
i my god, so my dog is spoiled  :P





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Re: joke's
« Reply #55 on: April 25, 2009, 08:48:57 AM »
D= WARNING Necropost. o_O And stereotyping.

This used to be one of my fave jokes, not sure if you guys will get it. xD

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Re: joke's
« Reply #56 on: April 25, 2009, 10:39:29 AM »
LMAO that one was funny.

its a shame we dont get more jokes.





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Re: joke's
« Reply #57 on: April 25, 2009, 02:47:13 PM »

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Re: joke's
« Reply #58 on: April 25, 2009, 09:12:42 PM »
 :rofl:

That mario one is the best but they were all funny





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Re: joke's
« Reply #59 on: April 26, 2009, 06:48:57 AM »
That mario is hilarious ROTFLMFAO XD

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Re: joke's
« Reply #60 on: April 26, 2009, 06:58:36 AM »
I agree. I will probably post something here later too tired to look for anything.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #61 on: May 04, 2009, 11:24:28 AM »
A Chinese guy, an American guy and a Mexican guy are on a boat. Suddenly it starts to sink, so they all agree that they should throw something overboard to lighten the load.

The Chinese guy says, "Well, there are plenty of these back at home" and throws all his chopsticks overboard.

The Meixcan guy says, "Well, there are plenty of these back at home" and throws all his tacos overboard.

Then the America guy throws the Mexican man overboard. The British guy asks him why the hell he did that and the Australian guy replies: "What? There are plenty of those back at home."


If you were a fish...

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Re: joke's
« Reply #62 on: May 04, 2009, 12:55:17 PM »
Then the America guy throws the Mexican man overboard. The British guy asks him why the hell he did that and the Australian guy replies: "What? There are plenty of those back at home."
DUDE

W.
T.
F.

You're really not helping me find excuse to increase your energy here. And I can tell you my standards are low.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #63 on: May 05, 2009, 12:31:04 AM »
A Chinese guy, an American guy and a Mexican guy are on a boat. Suddenly it starts to sink, so they all agree that they should throw something overboard to lighten the load.

The Chinese guy says, "Well, there are plenty of these back at home" and throws all his chopsticks overboard.

The Meixcan guy says, "Well, there are plenty of these back at home" and throws all his tacos overboard.

Then the America guy throws the Mexican man overboard. The British guy asks him why the hell he did that and the Australian guy replies: "What? There are plenty of those back at home."

Epic fail makes fail joke win

And I don't have any joke myself here, so...Uh...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBm6M2PCRIU

And this isn't a Rickroll.

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Offline fugibo

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Re: joke's
« Reply #64 on: May 05, 2009, 12:33:03 AM »
I've seen Meta's somewhere before.

You know, with the Australian and stuff, throughout.

Was that this thread...?

EDIT:
Meta, that's just sad. Fail Stick, ACTIVATE!
« Last Edit: May 05, 2009, 12:36:07 AM by Biker WcW »

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Re: joke's
« Reply #65 on: May 05, 2009, 01:17:08 AM »
Re: joke's
Re: joke is

I lol'd

FCF3a A+ C- D H- M P+ R T W- Z- Sf RLCT a cmn+++ d++ e++ f h+++ iw+++ j+ p sf+
Follow my project: MBlok | Find me on: tSwitch.us | Twitter | Tumblr

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Re: joke's
« Reply #66 on: May 05, 2009, 01:35:54 AM »
A Chinese guy, an American guy and a Mexican guy are on a boat.
I'M A BOAT MOTHAFUKA!

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Re: joke's
« Reply #67 on: May 05, 2009, 01:59:46 AM »

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Re: joke's
« Reply #68 on: May 05, 2009, 02:19:30 AM »

What's osu!? It's a rhythm game. Thought I should have a signature with a working rank. ;P It's now clickable!
Still Aqua's biggest fan (Or am I?).



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Re: joke's
« Reply #69 on: May 05, 2009, 02:22:38 AM »
I'm fairly sure he was making fun of the huge amounts of discrimination in it by saying that he was a boat. It's called irony >_<

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Re: joke's
« Reply #70 on: May 05, 2009, 02:32:26 AM »
Quote
Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother."
Santa - "Send me your mother."

Quote
A boy watches his mum and dad having sex he ask, "What are you doing ?"
His dad replies, "Making you a brother or sister!"
Boy say, "Do her doggy style I want a puppy."

Eh they are alright. I will maybe find better ones later.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #71 on: May 05, 2009, 02:37:08 AM »
that was the point ... It didn't make sense nor was it meant to be racist, i have no means of being so ignorant. I have no problems and don't discriminate and plus it's a joke.


If you were a fish...

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Re: joke's
« Reply #72 on: May 05, 2009, 02:38:29 AM »
that was the point ... It didn't make sense nor was it meant to be racist, i have no means of being so ignorant. I have no problems and don't discriminate and plus it's a joke.
Dude......

I'm



On



A



Boat

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Re: joke's
« Reply #73 on: May 05, 2009, 02:53:02 AM »
Dio Ab? I dunn git it

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Re: joke's
« Reply #74 on: May 05, 2009, 03:05:13 AM »
Dio Ab? I dunn git it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU

This alone is worth a good joke. A good laugh I can say. Great, great, song. o_o

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Re: joke's
« Reply #75 on: May 05, 2009, 03:16:31 AM »

G_G Is my hero!
Munkey != monkey
Munkey > monkey

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Re: joke's
« Reply #76 on: May 05, 2009, 03:56:57 AM »
Two ladies, a Yankee and a Southern Belle, are sitting next to each other on a plane. The Southern Belle turns to the Yankee and asks, "So, where y'all from?"

The Yankee replies, "I am from a place where we do not end our sentences with a preposition."

Without missing a beat, the Southern Belle bats her lashes and asks, "So, where y'all from, bitch?"


 ;)

EDIT: OH SHIEETT i just got another

A man frantically speaks into  the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor asks.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
« Last Edit: May 05, 2009, 04:06:19 AM by ShadowBlaze »
Results for being 100% left handed:

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2. Now your saying/thinking thats a stupid fact.
4. You didnt notice that i skipped 3.
5. Your checking it now.
6. Your smiling.
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8. You know all you have read is true.
10. You didnt notice that i skipped 9.
11. Your checking it now.
12. You didnt notice there are only 10 facts

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Re: joke's
« Reply #77 on: May 05, 2009, 04:40:58 AM »
Two ladies, a Yankee and a Southern Belle, are sitting next to each other on a plane. The Southern Belle turns to the Yankee and asks, "So, where y'all from?"

The Yankee replies, "I am from a place where we do not end our sentences with a preposition."

Without missing a beat, the Southern Belle bats her lashes and asks, "So, where y'all from, bitch?"


 ;)

EDIT: OH SHIEETT i just got another

A man frantically speaks into  the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor asks.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
I'M ON A FUCKING BOAT YOU NEWFAG! I'M ON A FUCKING BOAT!!!!!!!

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Re: joke's
« Reply #78 on: May 05, 2009, 08:41:37 PM »
WTF ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY??? I'm on a boat is a song, what about it?
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Re: joke's
« Reply #79 on: May 06, 2009, 03:48:10 AM »
I'm on a three-letter word related to Jocasta and Oedipus, preceded by a possessive second-person pronoun

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Re: joke's
« Reply #80 on: June 11, 2009, 07:26:17 PM »
A guy walks into a bar. He says to the bartender
"I bet you 50 bucks I can piss from that side of the bar into a glass on this side of a bar."
Bartender accepts
So the bartender puts a glass out on the counter while the other guy goes to the other side of the bar. So he starts pissing everywhere. He pisses all over the bar, jukebox, people and the bartender is just laughing so hard. So then he pays the bartender the 50 bucks and leaves.
A different guy comes over and starts cussing and getting all mad.
Bartender asks
"Whats wrong?"
Guy says
"I bet that guy 500$ that he could piss all over your bar and you'd still be happy."

Offline Shadonking

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Re: joke's
« Reply #81 on: June 11, 2009, 09:16:00 PM »
yeah iv herd that before but it is still very funny.





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Offline fugibo

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Re: joke's
« Reply #82 on: June 11, 2009, 09:20:03 PM »
yeah iv herd that before but it is still very funny.

Actually, it was kinda dull.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #83 on: June 11, 2009, 09:22:31 PM »
most jokes sound better when spoken, when you read them they all seem that way. but i remember finding it funny when some one told it me.





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Offline Vell

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Re: joke's
« Reply #84 on: June 11, 2009, 09:23:11 PM »
i chuckled a little. though I dont go for humor such as that.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #85 on: June 11, 2009, 10:01:09 PM »
Awesome.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #86 on: June 11, 2009, 10:41:35 PM »
A blond teenager is sitting on the living room couch with a confused expression written on her face. Her mother walks into the room and notices her daughter's discomfort, so she asks her ...

Mother:
"Honey, what's wrong?"

Daughter
"Is it REALLY true that babies come from the special place that boys put their COC**!?"

Her mother grows an equally puzzled look and responds ...
"Well yeah, honey, they do ... why??"

Daughter responds indifferently ...
"BUT WON'T THAT BREAK MY JAW!!??"

Offline G_G

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Re: joke's
« Reply #87 on: June 11, 2009, 10:52:19 PM »
xD LMAO THATS HILARIOUS!!! The mother thought that the girl meant vagi** but the girl meant her mouth LMAO XD

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Re: joke's
« Reply #88 on: June 11, 2009, 10:59:00 PM »
xD LMAO THATS HILARIOUS!!! The mother thought that the girl meant vagi** but the girl meant her mouth LMAO XD

'mazing, GG! You got the entire joke :V!

Offline Calintz

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Re: joke's
« Reply #89 on: June 11, 2009, 11:53:52 PM »
A Pickle, a cucumber, and a Pen** are sitting on a couch going on about how much each of their lives suck ...

The Pickle says ...
Man, my life sucks ... when I get big and hard, they throw me into a jar and seal me up!!

The cucumber says ...
You think that's bad!? When I get big and hard, they cut me up and use me in salads!!

The Pen** says ...
You guys think you have it rough!? When I get big and hard, they wrap a plastic bag around my head, stick me in a dark room, and slam my head against the walls until I throw up all over myself and go limp ...

Offline G_G

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Re: joke's
« Reply #90 on: June 11, 2009, 11:57:09 PM »
xD thats hilarious!! Here's one

2 ants crawl into some chicks underwear while the chick's wearing it. They see two caves. The first ant says I'll take this cave you take the other and we'll meet back here.

They go into the caves, awhile later ther return.

1st Ant:
How was your cave?

2nd Ant:
It was gross. It was dark and gooey and smelled like shit.
Yours?

1st Ant:
It was nice at first. Nice and warm and soft until some bald guy started head butting me and spitting on me

Offline Calintz

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Re: joke's
« Reply #91 on: June 11, 2009, 11:59:39 PM »
Lmao, nice!!

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Re: joke's
« Reply #92 on: June 12, 2009, 12:03:35 AM »
vulgarity. do not appreciate. however, this isn't a thread about me, carry on.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #93 on: June 12, 2009, 12:13:30 AM »
ULTA!!
You totally put a damper on the mood here, hah.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #94 on: June 20, 2009, 07:03:42 AM »
An Arab at the airport:

- Name?
- Abdul al-Rhazib.
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean male or female?
- Male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn't that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer run too fast!


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Re: joke's
« Reply #95 on: June 20, 2009, 02:37:00 PM »
That's racist.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #96 on: June 21, 2009, 11:54:48 AM »
And yet, as an arab, I find it hilarious.

A black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who's driving?
(click to show/hide)

What do black people get for Christmas?
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Offline fugibo

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Re: joke's
« Reply #97 on: June 21, 2009, 03:15:42 PM »
And yet, as an arab, I find it hilarious.

A black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who's driving?
(click to show/hide)

What do black people get for Christmas?
(click to show/hide)

That's just as racist as the last one; however, it's dealing with Blacks, and they get special treatment. I call that "ZOMG **A*FR!#(!@R(R#$!@*%!@)%@#$*#$#&!@&$!#%#%#%!($*! GTFO!!!!@$@$!@(!!!!!!!!!!!1"

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Re: joke's
« Reply #98 on: June 21, 2009, 03:23:01 PM »
(click to show/hide)
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Re: joke's
« Reply #99 on: June 21, 2009, 09:50:21 PM »
(click to show/hide)
Generally true.

An arab walks into an airport. What are in his bags?
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^
|
|
That's rascist

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Re: joke's
« Reply #100 on: June 21, 2009, 10:20:05 PM »
A Swedish, a Danish and a Norwegian windowwasher was eating their lunch on the outside of the 17th floor of a skyscraper. Before they had opened their lunch packets, the Dane said, "if it is ham on my lunch, I will jump off." He opened his lunch, and discovered that it was ham on it, and he jumped off. The Swede said, "if it is cheese on my lunch, I will jump off." He opened his lunch, and discovered that it was cheese on it, and he jumped off. Then the Norwegian said, if it is fish on my lunch, I will jump off too." He opened his lunch, and discovered that it was fish on it, and so he jumped off too. After the burial, the widows of the Swedish, the Danish and the Norwegian windowwashers met, and talked together. The Danish widow said, "I don't understand anything, I thought he loved ham on his lunch." The Norwegian widow also said, "I don't understand anything, I thought he loved fish on his lunch." And the Swedish widow said: "I don't understand anything either, he made his lunch himself.."
« Last Edit: June 21, 2009, 10:29:34 PM by Kagutsuchi »

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Re: joke's
« Reply #101 on: June 21, 2009, 10:24:09 PM »
The Swede said, "if it is cheese on my lunch, I will jump off." He opened his lunch, and discovered that it was ham on it, and he jumped off.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #102 on: June 21, 2009, 10:24:35 PM »
Yes, I noticed that, too.
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Re: joke's
« Reply #103 on: June 21, 2009, 10:29:49 PM »
Fixed lol

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Re: joke's
« Reply #104 on: June 22, 2009, 02:09:10 AM »
Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues
wHAT do you need next?

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If you were a fish...

Offline fugibo

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Re: joke's
« Reply #105 on: June 22, 2009, 02:36:43 AM »
Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues
wHAT do you need next?

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Actually, I was looking for Frequent Readers' Sheets. Where do I go to redeem those?

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Re: joke's
« Reply #106 on: September 18, 2009, 10:56:41 AM »
A guy walks into a bar.

Lmao... the other one i forgot who on the forum said it in chat but... its the one about hitler and the jews and clowns  :^_^':



So a man walks into a bar and he sees Adolf Hitler deep in thought.  He goes up and asks "What's on your mind?" and Hitler responds "I need to find a way to kill 6 million jews and 3 clowns."

He stands there thinking for a few moments until he just asks "Wait, why the three clowns?"

Hitler smiles and looks to the man.

"See, NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE JEWS!"

Anyways, time for my joke...

Who was the greatest prostitute of all time?

Ms. Pacman, for 25cents she'd swallow balls until she died.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #107 on: September 18, 2009, 11:45:03 AM »
DOUBLEPOST FOR GREAT JUSTICE AND MODERATOR PRIVILEDGE ABUSE!

Necrophilia:  The irresistible urge to crack open a cold one.

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Offline G_G

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Re: joke's
« Reply #108 on: November 02, 2009, 07:52:08 AM »
Hey if you've ever heard Lady Gaga's Poker face you'll get this one.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You poker face. XD

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Re: joke's
« Reply #109 on: November 03, 2009, 01:27:51 AM »
*facepalm*


If you were a fish...

Offline G_G

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Re: joke's
« Reply #110 on: December 07, 2009, 07:57:29 AM »
Feel free to remove this if its too dirty.
Quote
One night a man, his wife and a friend decided to have dinner together, so after eating they opened a couple of bottles of wine. Upon finishing the wine the friend realised it was late and he should go home, but the man insisted he stay the night, because he was drunk and in no condition to drive. The man finally agreed.
One problem occurred though they had no guest bedroom and their couch was small and uncomfortable. So the man's wife said "Why doesn't he just sleep with us?" The two men agreed and promptly headed for bed.
A few hours after they had gone to sleep the man's wife woke his friend and said hey, wanna have a good time? The man was like NO he'll wake up. She said no he won't watch, so the woman reached over and pulled out one of the hairs on her husbands a** and sure enough nothing happened. So the wife and the man's friend screwed.
About an hour later the wife woke the mans friend again and said I want more. The man decided to test his friend to see if he was awake, so he pulled out another a** hair and he didn't wake up. This happened 2 more times and when the friend pulled out another one of the mans a** hairs the man turned over and said, "Look I don't care if you screw my wife but stop using my a** as a score board!!"

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Re: joke's
« Reply #111 on: December 12, 2009, 03:19:14 PM »
A blonde cop stops blonde a motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now." :haha:
« Last Edit: December 12, 2009, 03:21:37 PM by HolyJesus »

Offline G_G

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Re: joke's
« Reply #112 on: May 19, 2010, 01:46:12 AM »
Here's a good one xD

Whats 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?

George Bush's Tie!

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Re: joke's
« Reply #113 on: May 19, 2010, 11:30:05 AM »
A man walks into a bar and dies of lung cancer.


Yes, I'm good at this.

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Re: joke's
« Reply #114 on: May 19, 2010, 12:07:21 PM »
A policeman, a lawyer and a priest are in a plane full of children. Suddenly the pilot speaks over the intercom and says that both engines are damaged and that it will crash very soon. But there aren't enough parachutes for everybody. The policeman says "Save the children!" The lawyer says "Fuck the children!" The priest says "Do we have enough time for that? :naughty:"

This joke is a lot funnier when told IRL.
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Good Jokes
« Reply #115 on: August 03, 2010, 03:17:42 AM »
So a horse walkes into a bar and the Bartender asks "Why the long face". The horse has cancer.

Offline Kett Shee

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #116 on: August 03, 2010, 06:45:09 AM »
The particularly disturbing part is...I actually laughed. .___.
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #117 on: August 03, 2010, 10:51:13 AM »
Topics merged.

Also:

A man walks into a bar. That hurts a lot.
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I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #118 on: August 03, 2010, 12:48:44 PM »
- Why programmers do not pour into the car the 95-th petrol?
- They're afraid that hangs.
I'm not retarded, but I'm busy. Sorry for patience.


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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #119 on: August 03, 2010, 09:37:43 PM »
(click to show/hide)
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Offline Aqua

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #120 on: August 03, 2010, 09:55:20 PM »
(click to show/hide)

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #121 on: August 03, 2010, 10:00:09 PM »
(click to show/hide)

Wow great copypasta from failblog.

By the way, isn't this thread supposed to have good jokes in it?
« Last Edit: August 03, 2010, 10:01:29 PM by Diokatsu »

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #122 on: August 03, 2010, 10:05:06 PM »
Is dead dog in road, also is dead latvian, what difference? Dog have fur keep warm. also, freedom. Dog eat poop for pleasure and not just survive. So many thing!

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #123 on: August 04, 2010, 12:53:13 AM »
- What newspaper are you released this year?
- Why do I need the newspaper, when I have Internet?
- You go in toilet with keyboard?
I'm not retarded, but I'm busy. Sorry for patience.


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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #124 on: August 04, 2010, 01:09:34 AM »
Is dead dog in road, also is dead latvian, what difference? Dog have fur keep warm. also, freedom. Dog eat poop for pleasure and not just survive. So many thing!

oh god i died.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #125 on: August 05, 2010, 06:07:26 PM »
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey would eat away the feet of my rooster, what would you have?
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #126 on: August 05, 2010, 06:09:58 PM »
A donkey.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #127 on: August 05, 2010, 06:51:23 PM »
No. Two feet of my cock in your ass.
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I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

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When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #128 on: August 05, 2010, 07:30:28 PM »
That made me Lol hard XD

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #129 on: August 06, 2010, 04:23:48 PM »
Higher rating doesn't mean you have a bigger penis...

(Nyhm - Just loot it)
I'm not retarded, but I'm busy. Sorry for patience.


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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #130 on: August 06, 2010, 08:13:58 PM »
     A Mexican, a Salvadorian, and an Indian guy are on a boat. They finally find an island and decide to live there. The chief meets with the guys and begin a conversation. They travelers explain that they want to live there. The chief replies, "If you want to live here you have to pass a set of tasks."

The three guys agree to them and the chief tells them, "I want you guys to get familiar with the environment, so go to the wild and bring 10 of one type of fruit." The three guys leave for their first task and begin their search in the forest.

The Mexican guy shows up first with 10 apples. The chief says, "Well you have passed your first test. The second thing I want to you to do is to, without making any expressions , put the ten pieces of fruit in you @ss. If you make an expression we kill you." The mexican guy starts his test. 1...2......3..4......5.. The Mexican guy can't handle it and makes makes an expression of pain. The tribe kills him. The Salvadoran guy shows up soon after with 10 cherries. The same conditions are given to him and he starts his test. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8.... and this moment he starts laughing without stop. They kill him.
The Mexican guy meet the Salvadoran guy in heaven.. and he says, "so why did you laugh? You were so close to getting to live there." The Salvadoran guy laughs again and replies, "I saw the Indian guy come back with pineapples."
Hey! I will do some evented systems, if you have something pm me and I will see what I can do. I will do only one at a time as I am also working on a game.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #131 on: August 07, 2010, 05:47:17 AM »
XD

A man walks into a bar with a brown paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the bench. The barman asks "What's in the bag." The man responds by reaching into the brown paper bag and pulling out a man about a foot tall. He reaches in the bag once more and pulls out a grand piano, and then a piano stool, placing them on the benchtop. The little man sits down on the piano, and plays a magnificent piece by Mozart. "WOW!" says the barman, "Where'd you find him?"
The man responds by reaching into the bag once more, and pulling out an old, dusty lamp. He passes it to gthe barman and says "Rub it"
The Barman does so, and a genie comes out from the top of the lamp. "YOU MAY HAVE ONE WISH" commands the genie.

Without thinking the barman yells out "I wish I had a million bucks!"
The genie nods, and dissapears, just as a duck walks into the bar. Then another duck. Several more ducks. Until the bar is full of ducks, and the barman can see many more outside, perhaps a million.

The barman looks at the man. "I think your genie's a bit deaf. I asked for a milliion BUCKS not a million DUCKS"
"No kidding" said the man. "You think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
« Last Edit: August 07, 2010, 01:20:16 PM by Karltheking4 »

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #132 on: August 07, 2010, 01:36:10 PM »
Lol, you fixed it. xD I was already like "wait, what, 3 inches only?!"
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Offline poxy

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #133 on: August 10, 2010, 03:38:07 AM »
I got this one from a friend:

Women as explained by engineers:
(click to show/hide)
(click to show/hide)

Offline Jek

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #134 on: August 10, 2010, 06:44:24 AM »
I don't get how time is equal to money...

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #135 on: August 10, 2010, 07:47:06 AM »
->I think he meant this:
(click to show/hide)

It was adapted from the saying "Time is gold". @Jek


« Last Edit: September 01, 2010, 06:26:40 PM by ShadowPierce »

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Offline Jek

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #136 on: August 10, 2010, 08:39:53 AM »
Why must you kill the kittens?

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #137 on: August 10, 2010, 08:55:01 AM »
->Coz I like chopping heads off... :xD:



EDIT:
->Fixed!


« Last Edit: September 01, 2010, 06:27:44 PM by ShadowPierce »

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Funny Short Jokes
« Reply #138 on: January 16, 2011, 10:00:51 AM »
1--'Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures"'

2--"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers."

3--In Delaware, USA, 44-year-old John Finch broke into a house, drank 3 bottles of gin, 2 bottles of whiskey,           and got so drunk he couldn't make his way back out of the house.
In true idiot style, he then rang 911 to ask for help, and was arrested shortly afterwards!

4--Funny Pictures:
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this is actually my profile picture!

5--Christmas related incidents such as:

A)Injuries from opening bottles of beer with teeth instead of a bottle opener.
B)Catching zippers on eyelids while trying on new jumpers.
C)Cracked skulls from falling asleep while throwing up into the toilet bowl.
D)Q. What does Santa call reindeer that don't work?
A. Dinner. :evil:
E)It was just before Christmas and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked the prisoner who was in the dock, 'What are you charged with?'
The prisoner replied, 'Doing my Christmas shopping too early.'
'That's no crime', said the magistrate. 'Just how early were you doing this shopping?'
'Before the shop opened', answered the prisoner

6--Job Interviews:

A)Candidate told the interviewer he was fired for beating up his last boss.
B)When applicant was offered food before the interview, he declined saying he didn’t want to line his stomach             with grease before going out drinking.
C)Candidate said she could not provide a writing sample because all of her writing had been for the CIA and it was “classified”.

7--Want to know what the first person to find out that cows produce milk was really trying to do
"You know the world is going crazy," Chris Rock declared in 2003, "when the best rapper [Eminem] is a white guy, the best golfer [Tiger Woods] is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA [Yao Ming] is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush,' 'Dick,' and 'Colon.' Need I say more?"

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #139 on: January 17, 2011, 09:55:57 AM »
Topics merged.
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #140 on: January 17, 2011, 02:26:48 PM »
oh ok!
"You know the world is going crazy," Chris Rock declared in 2003, "when the best rapper [Eminem] is a white guy, the best golfer [Tiger Woods] is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA [Yao Ming] is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush,' 'Dick,' and 'Colon.' Need I say more?"

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #141 on: January 17, 2011, 07:01:29 PM »
A blonde walks into a shop, points at an item on a shelf and ask the clerk: "How much for that T.V.?"
He responds with: "Sorry, ma'm. We do not attend blondes here."
She leaves but comes back the next day, asking the same thing.
And she gets the same rejection for an answer.
But the next day, she devises a magnificent plan. She walks into the shop with a red-head wig and sunglasses on.
She then proceeds to ask the clerk: "Hello, are you in charge here?"
The clerk responds: "Yes, ma'm. How can I help you?"
The lady points at the same item and, with a victorious tone, asks: "How much for that T.V.?"
The clerk says: "Oh, sorry, lady. But we do not give any service to blondes here."
The blonde takes her wig and glasses off and asks, the clerk with surprise: "How did you know I was a blonde!?"
The clerk, pointing at the item on the shelf, tells her: "Well, that ain't a television, ma'm. That's a friggin microwave oven!"


So we have Pepito at home and his parents are desperate for sex. They can't do it with their son in there, though, so his father asks him: "Hey, Pepito, can you look through the window and tell me what you see out on the street?" And as Pepito turns around, the parents use that distraction to engage in some quality sexual intercourse.
"So, tell me, what can you see?", his father asks.
Pepito responds with: "There's a blue car, a brown dog, a strange man, a tall woman, a schoolbus... oh, and the neighbors in front are having sex."
His father, shocked, asks him: "How do you know that?"
Pepito answers: "Because they've put their son to stare outside the window, like an idiot."


A kid walks into a cigarette shop and asks the vendor: "Do you have any color cigarettes?"
To what the vendor responds: "No, kid. Just plain old white ones."
The kid leaves, but comes back for the next day, asking the same "Do you have any color cigarettes?" question.
The vendor tells him: "No, kid. You already asked and I've already told you that we don't sell color cigarettes".
The kid leaves and comes again for the next day and asks the same question to the vendor.
The pissed vendor responds: "Do you see any color cigarette here? We only sell common cigarettes!"
The kid leaves and anticipating his arrival the next day, the vendor comes with the idea to paint his cigars with different colors.
And just as predicted, the same kid walks to the counter and asks for color cigarettes, to what the vendor responds with a grin: "Sure, we got them red, blue, pink, green, black, violet, gray, and special silver and golden ones. Which will you buy?"
The kid answers: "Oh, I'll have a white one, please. :)"

Funneh or no fuh-nay. ;D
« Last Edit: January 17, 2011, 11:50:31 PM by Valath »
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #142 on: January 18, 2011, 10:35:06 AM »
A rabby, a muslim and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender says: "What is this? A joke?"
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #143 on: January 18, 2011, 11:00:39 AM »
:rofl:

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #144 on: January 18, 2011, 01:57:35 PM »
What is the different between McDonald workers and ya mum weight?
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #145 on: January 18, 2011, 02:28:27 PM »
i have no idea.

guess:
ya mum is heavier?
"You know the world is going crazy," Chris Rock declared in 2003, "when the best rapper [Eminem] is a white guy, the best golfer [Tiger Woods] is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA [Yao Ming] is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush,' 'Dick,' and 'Colon.' Need I say more?"

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #146 on: January 18, 2011, 02:38:09 PM »
i have no idea.

guess:
ya mum is heavier?

McDonald workers eat junk foods everyday so they are fat and I compared them all together with ya mum!!
Got it?  :wong:
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #147 on: January 18, 2011, 05:52:52 PM »
i have no idea.

guess:
ya mum is heavier?

McDonald workers eat junk foods everyday so they are fat and I compared them all together with ya mum!!
Got it?  :wong:
aweful unfunny joke is aweful and unfunny.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #148 on: January 19, 2011, 09:14:53 AM »
i have no idea.

guess:
ya mum is heavier?

McDonald workers eat junk foods everyday so they are fat and I compared them all together with ya mum!!
Got it?  :wong:
aweful unfunny joke is aweful and unfunny.
That's why I called it funny failed... :naughty:
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #149 on: January 19, 2011, 11:02:00 AM »
its better if any1 just post a link 2 the site that has tons of jokes!
"You know the world is going crazy," Chris Rock declared in 2003, "when the best rapper [Eminem] is a white guy, the best golfer [Tiger Woods] is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA [Yao Ming] is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush,' 'Dick,' and 'Colon.' Need I say more?"

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #150 on: January 19, 2011, 12:23:54 PM »
its better if any1 just post a link 2 the site that has tons of jokes!

Nah, it won't be interesting..
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #151 on: January 19, 2011, 12:31:25 PM »
oh C'mon! Let's just read em all!
"You know the world is going crazy," Chris Rock declared in 2003, "when the best rapper [Eminem] is a white guy, the best golfer [Tiger Woods] is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA [Yao Ming] is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush,' 'Dick,' and 'Colon.' Need I say more?"

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #152 on: January 21, 2011, 12:35:20 AM »
Heres one what did the face say to the nose  :w00t:

(click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: January 21, 2011, 12:36:59 AM by Makeshift »

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #153 on: January 21, 2011, 08:05:04 AM »
oh C'mon! Let's just read em all!

My friend was reading off a list of extremely corny jokes.

It was painstakingly hilarious. Not in a, "THIS IS SO FUNNY!" way, but more of a, "This sucks so much!" style. But I don't really think it'd fit here. :p Why go through an endless list of jokes when we can just share only the best jokes with little cost to us!? :V:

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #154 on: January 21, 2011, 09:23:58 PM »
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least someone doesn't speed in the school zone.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #155 on: January 22, 2011, 09:21:27 PM »
from the moment i  :ninja: saw this smiley i thought Whip my hair :rockit: Willow smith
« Last Edit: January 22, 2011, 09:55:07 PM by Makeshift »

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #156 on: April 29, 2011, 11:19:36 AM »
What's large, black and steals your credit cards?

Sony Playstation 3

:xD:
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #157 on: April 29, 2011, 01:32:18 PM »
What is long, white, and can pleasure women?

A WiiMote.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #158 on: April 29, 2011, 01:33:54 PM »
John Lennon walks around a corner and steps on a cookie.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #159 on: May 21, 2011, 06:48:20 PM »

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Re: joke's
« Reply #160 on: May 25, 2011, 11:39:34 AM »
Oh yeah, a very popular ventriloquism sort of gig...Really humorous. There's a lot of jokes, but it's definitely not the cleanest pot of gold...I'll link it here, that'll be my joke. :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn5jlrxcpkI-Russell Peters  :haha:

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #161 on: June 17, 2011, 07:41:08 AM »
How many cancerous cells does it take to kill Steve Jobs?

...


We'll find out soon enough!

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #162 on: August 14, 2011, 12:27:19 PM »
Here's one from Sickipedia.

Quote
I went to a fancy dress as Spiderman and shagged a girl dressed as Catwoman. We had the most amazing sex, but never revealed our identities to one another.

I told my family about it over breakfast. My dad high-fived me, my mum rolled her eyes and my sister ran off crying for some reason.
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Offline AngryPacman

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #163 on: August 14, 2011, 01:00:26 PM »
(click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: August 14, 2011, 01:03:30 PM by AngryPacman »
G_G's a silly boy.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #164 on: August 27, 2011, 06:34:50 PM »
Here's another one from Sickipedia. xD

Quote
I was standing there, hands trembling, my wife due home from work any time now... I reached for my youngest daughter's top - it came off with little resistance.

Her training bra was my next hurdle. Hands still trembling, I gently unclipped it and unable to control my hands I watched it as it fell to the floor.

Her short little skirt was next, I reached out and slid it off. As I ran my hands slowly over her My Little Pony panties I could feel they were already really, really damp...

Anyway, I'd better finish getting the rest of the washing in - it's raining and my Parkinsons isn't making it any easier.
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #165 on: August 27, 2011, 07:10:57 PM »
oh gods, that is horrible.
I no longer keep up with posts in the forum very well. If you have a question or comment, about my work, or in general I welcome PM's. if you make a post in one of my threads and I don't reply with in a day or two feel free to PM me and point it out to me.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #166 on: September 14, 2011, 10:50:39 PM »
Quote
A sexy young girl approached me in the club last night.

"Wanna buy me a few drinks?" she whispered with a wink.

"Of course," I burst out, shooting to the bar.

After she had drunk 5 vodkas within 10 minutes, I gave her a nudge.

"I bet you're the type of girl that uses men to get drunk and gives nothing in return, aren't you?" I asked.

"You've got me all figured out," she smirked.

"Well not tonight!" I replied, waving an empty Rohypnol box in her face.
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #167 on: March 11, 2014, 12:52:10 PM »
More from Sickipedia. xD

Quote
A man received the following text from his neighbor:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around.
In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
« Last Edit: March 11, 2014, 12:54:23 PM by Blizzard »
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #168 on: March 12, 2014, 03:20:33 AM »
So a programmer is about to go buy some stuff from the market when his wife interrupts him:

"Honey, remember to go buy a bottle of milk on your way back, if they have eggs, bring six."

so the programmer goes to the market and returns with 6 bottles of milk, his wife replies:

"why did you bring six bottles of milk?"

"because they had eggs honey"
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #169 on: March 12, 2014, 04:22:04 PM »
What does a woman and a swimming pool have in common?

When you enter them they should be wet and while you do you should preferably be wearing something rubbery.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2014, 05:15:56 PM by Ranquil »
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #170 on: April 18, 2014, 02:35:58 PM »
SO! A man was having sex with a goat...

I watched every second of it.
Well, since everyone was doing it...

Updated, slightly.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #171 on: April 08, 2016, 10:01:02 PM »
How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb?

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Offline Soulshaker3

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #172 on: April 09, 2016, 01:47:25 AM »
What's there a ton on of in heaven?

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Hellow?

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #173 on: August 13, 2016, 05:24:14 PM »
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
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Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
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When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Offline Wecoc

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #174 on: September 23, 2016, 08:34:51 AM »
Hahahaha those last ones were pretty good.

Ok I'll try with some of my own bullshit jokes collection.

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