1--'Politics: "Poli" a Latin word meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures"'
2--"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers."
3--In Delaware, USA, 44-year-old John Finch broke into a house, drank 3 bottles of gin, 2 bottles of whiskey, and got so drunk he couldn't make his way back out of the house.
In true idiot style, he then rang 911 to ask for help, and was arrested shortly afterwards!
4--Funny Pictures:
this is actually my profile picture!
5--Christmas related incidents such as:
A)Injuries from opening bottles of beer with teeth instead of a bottle opener.
B)Catching zippers on eyelids while trying on new jumpers.
C)Cracked skulls from falling asleep while throwing up into the toilet bowl.
D)Q. What does Santa call reindeer that don't work?
A. Dinner.
E)It was just before Christmas and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked the prisoner who was in the dock, 'What are you charged with?'
The prisoner replied, 'Doing my Christmas shopping too early.'
'That's no crime', said the magistrate. 'Just how early were you doing this shopping?'
'Before the shop opened', answered the prisoner
6--Job Interviews:
A)Candidate told the interviewer he was fired for beating up his last boss.
B)When applicant was offered food before the interview, he declined saying he didn't want to line his stomach with grease before going out drinking.
C)Candidate said she could not provide a writing sample because all of her writing had been for the CIA and it was "classified".
7--Want to know what the first person to find out that cows produce milk was really trying to do