Author Topic: Good Jokes  (Read 37736 times)

Vishvesh

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Re: joke's
« Reply #160 on: May 25, 2011, 11:39:34 AM »
Oh yeah, a very popular ventriloquism sort of gig...Really humorous. There's a lot of jokes, but it's definitely not the cleanest pot of gold...I'll link it here, that'll be my joke. :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn5jlrxcpkI-Russell Peters  :haha:

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #161 on: June 17, 2011, 07:41:08 AM »
How many cancerous cells does it take to kill Steve Jobs?

...


We'll find out soon enough!

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #162 on: August 14, 2011, 12:27:19 PM »
Here's one from Sickipedia.

Quote
I went to a fancy dress as Spiderman and shagged a girl dressed as Catwoman. We had the most amazing sex, but never revealed our identities to one another.

I told my family about it over breakfast. My dad high-fived me, my mum rolled her eyes and my sister ran off crying for some reason.
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Offline AngryPacman

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #163 on: August 14, 2011, 01:00:26 PM »
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« Last Edit: August 14, 2011, 01:03:30 PM by AngryPacman »
G_G's a silly boy.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #164 on: August 27, 2011, 06:34:50 PM »
Here's another one from Sickipedia. xD

Quote
I was standing there, hands trembling, my wife due home from work any time now... I reached for my youngest daughter's top - it came off with little resistance.

Her training bra was my next hurdle. Hands still trembling, I gently unclipped it and unable to control my hands I watched it as it fell to the floor.

Her short little skirt was next, I reached out and slid it off. As I ran my hands slowly over her My Little Pony panties I could feel they were already really, really damp...

Anyway, I'd better finish getting the rest of the washing in - it's raining and my Parkinsons isn't making it any easier.
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Quote from: winkio
I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney Stinson
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #165 on: August 27, 2011, 07:10:57 PM »
oh gods, that is horrible.
I no longer keep up with posts in the forum very well. If you have a question or comment, about my work, or in general I welcome PM's. if you make a post in one of my threads and I don't reply with in a day or two feel free to PM me and point it out to me.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #166 on: September 14, 2011, 10:50:39 PM »
Quote
A sexy young girl approached me in the club last night.

"Wanna buy me a few drinks?" she whispered with a wink.

"Of course," I burst out, shooting to the bar.

After she had drunk 5 vodkas within 10 minutes, I gave her a nudge.

"I bet you're the type of girl that uses men to get drunk and gives nothing in return, aren't you?" I asked.

"You've got me all figured out," she smirked.

"Well not tonight!" I replied, waving an empty Rohypnol box in her face.
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Quote from: winkio
I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney Stinson
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #167 on: March 11, 2014, 12:52:10 PM »
More from Sickipedia. xD

Quote
A man received the following text from his neighbor:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around.
In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
« Last Edit: March 11, 2014, 12:54:23 PM by Blizzard »
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Quote from: winkio
I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney Stinson
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #168 on: March 12, 2014, 03:20:33 AM »
So a programmer is about to go buy some stuff from the market when his wife interrupts him:

"Honey, remember to go buy a bottle of milk on your way back, if they have eggs, bring six."

so the programmer goes to the market and returns with 6 bottles of milk, his wife replies:

"why did you bring six bottles of milk?"

"because they had eggs honey"
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Offline Ranquil

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #169 on: March 12, 2014, 04:22:04 PM »
What does a woman and a swimming pool have in common?

When you enter them they should be wet and while you do you should preferably be wearing something rubbery.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2014, 05:15:56 PM by Ranquil »
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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #170 on: April 18, 2014, 02:35:58 PM »
SO! A man was having sex with a goat...

I watched every second of it.
Well, since everyone was doing it...

Updated, slightly.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #171 on: April 08, 2016, 10:01:02 PM »
How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb?

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Quote from: winkio
I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney Stinson
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #172 on: April 09, 2016, 01:47:25 AM »
What's there a ton on of in heaven?

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Hellow?

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #173 on: August 13, 2016, 05:24:14 PM »
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
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Quote from: winkio
I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney Stinson
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Offline Wecoc

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Re: Good Jokes
« Reply #174 on: September 23, 2016, 08:34:51 AM »
Hahahaha those last ones were pretty good.

Ok I'll try with some of my own bullshit jokes collection.

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