Intelligence, sanity and beauty - Pick two

[Vell]

same, dio, but between the other two, sanity > beauty.

[Diokatsu]

But to me both are relative.

[fugibo]

But to me both are relative.

I see.  So, which ever one goes faster, is smaller -- therefore, the slowest is most important.

...now to quantify sanity and beauty in terms of speed... :V

[Vell]

well Dio, remember, I consider Sanity to be something akin to personality. so a better (for me) personality > beauty.

[Calintz]

I don't know ...
People say what they will, but if a relationship lacks physical lust ... IT WILL NOT LAST!!

I for one, am looking for the golden girl. I do believe I have her in my life now, and I plan to marry her should everything flow smoothly, and I don't find out she is a serial killer or anything .

Again though, personality wasn't one of the listed choices, so let's leave it out of the conversation . (It is important, but not targeted here)

So, beauty IS just as important as the next feature.

[Diokatsu]

You can find someone beautiful even if they aren't to others.

[Vell]

yeah, calintz, dio is right. a lot of my friends are very beautiful, to the common eye, but to me all they could ever be are close friends. the one i like doesnt even compare much to some others, in terms of generic 'hotness level'

[Fallen Angel X]

Why does being sane have to be important? I think it'd be pretty cool to go out with a schizophrenic or an over the top nymphomaniac (= I say intelligence and beauty!!

[Vell]

that's your decision.

[Blizzard]

Ulta, the word SANITY is in the dictionary. Nobody cares what the word means to YOU. I am talking about the meaning in the DICTIONARY. With no word in the first post the term PERSONALITY is mentioned. So STOP referring to SANITY as PERSONALITY because they are NOT the same thing. I said SANITY, beauty and intelligence, not PERSONALITY, beauty and intelligence. So stop going offtopic with personality.

I've had my share of stupid women and that's why I want a girl who isn't dumb as shit. The thing I generally hate most are stupid people and I don't want to hate my girlfriend. As for beauty, I always had high standards. My taste in women here pretty much matches the global standard of beauty even though lots of women other consider "hot" and "beautiful" I consider boring and generic-beautiful (not ugly, mind you). Sure, she might be pretty, but I wouldn't want to be with her. she doesn't have that "something" I like on women.

[Vell]

sanity is relative. thus, I put it into something non-relative. it's how my mind works. when something doesnt make sense, i make it make sense.

[Calintz]

I don't care what anybody says ...
If you don't find your partner attractive, then you won't be sticking with that person for the rest of your life. The best that you'll have is a temporary relationship. You HAVE to have a physical connection to that person just as much as a personal connection, so beauty IS important.

This comes down to a person's own view of beauty though, but if you're gonna stand here and tell me that you can love someone, and wake up beside them for the rest of your life, all the while thinking that they are unattractive, then you've lost your sanity, because that doesn't even make sense ...

[Diokatsu]

This comes down to a person's own view of beauty

Jackpot. There is no universal beauty, it's all relative. The only thing not relative is intelligence. Essential.

[Aqua]

Hmmm...

I'd say I'd go for Intelligence and Sanity in a guy.

Intelligence, so I wouldn't get too aggravated trying to explain something and be able to have an arguing partner XD

Sanity - I don't wanna be scared for my life when he's near.

Why not Beauty?
It's in the eye of the beholder... yeah... I'm cheesy @.@

[Calintz]

If you understand my opinion now, then you agree that beauty is one of the most important factors when choosing your mate. Chalk it up, and that leaves only one more option to choose.
sanity, or intelligence.

MY OPINION!! On Relationships:

Spoiler: ShowHide

Anybody who answers this question without beauty as one of their final choices, is just attempting to act more modest than any real human "SHOULD" when choosing a life partner. This will only lead to disaster. You can't love somebody (intimately and forever) if you aren't attracted to them.

The bottom line is this ...
If you are looking for a relationship to gain "exp pts. ," and maybe just help to pass time ... by all means, broaden your horizons, and just go for whatever. BUT!! If you're my type and you want to have a real relationship, and by that I mean a monogamous bond with ONE person for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!! Then you have to be SELFISH!!

I know that sounds ridiculous, but if you're not getting from your partner whatever it is that YOU WANT, (and I DON'T mean this in a bad way) then the relationship has very high chances of crumbling over time, because time goes by and you both continue to change, if you don't love that person for who they are and they don't have the qualities that you have always from the opposite gender, then the chances favor that you're gonna find yourself in a nasty process of separation at some point in your life.

And that my friends, is something I never want to experience.

Divorce is something that I honestly feel more people could avoid, if they would look at relationships for what they really are, and put more effort into the elimination process. Again, you need to be selfish when choosing your soulmate. There is no cutting corners if you want to be happy.

Don't let the media distort your vision of how relationships should really be. Don't take what I say to heart, but my views have landed me with a girl I would gladly die for. Don't lie, pretend, or fake supreme modesty just because you think that is how it should be. I know good people are raised not to discriminate, and for this reason alone, I think the "beauty isn't important" idea came about. In your own heart, can you honestly say you would be happy spending the rest of your life with somebody who can't make you shiver in sheer bliss!? Someone who doesn't appeal to you!? Quit lying to yourself!!

BE SELFISH!! and I mean that ...
You won't be happy unless your being honest. Most importantly, that means being honest with yourself. In accordance, that means being selfish when and ONLY when CHOOSING YOUR PARTNER ...

When it comes to the final choice ... (sanity or intelligence)
I just can't choose between the two, because I have a girl who really seems to bear all three. She can get outta hand of course with grudge-holding and temper-loss, but I wouldn't call her insane, because she isn't like the crazy monkey type who throws shit, or tries to physically harm me or anything, but she can be VERY immature.

I wanna link Blizzard's ref. of sanity to maturity, but he made it clearly evident that he's going by the book on this one, which leaves me baffled, because like I said ... I believe that there are a lot of women on this Earth that can have all of these qualities.

The best advice my mother ever gave me on choosing a soulmate

Spoiler: ShowHide

My mother once told me that a man will choose his soulmate, because he wants the responsibility of protecting her at any cost. That to him, she is everything that is important, and that he should hold her closer to his heart than any possession.

She continued to say ...
That a women will choose her soulmate, because he has proven to her that he is willing to protect her to no end, and that the love that she holds for him allows her to give him that exact responsibility with all her heart and body ...

[Vell]

beauty is relative. You'll find beautiful the one you love. that's why relationships based on initial attraction always fail. I'll say it time and again. If you love someone, they'll be beautiful. And being selfish is never good. Don't just dump a woman because 'you dont fit my wants for a woman. you're not gorgeous enough.' that's just bull. In my opinion don't go LOOKING for a soulmate. just find friends naturally, and be open, you'll find yourself falling for someone eventually.

yes, to find one's partner beauteous is of course important. but I much prefer sanity and intelligence, as I've NEVER cared how I NOR my friends have looked.

and HOW the HELL did this turn into a Debate? It's not even all that intelligent, even.

[Calintz]

This won't turn into a debate if we don't let it. That was my personal opinion AS I CLEARLY STATED IT WAS. You replied AT it, thus turning it into a debate ...

For UltaFlame:

Spoiler: ShowHide

1st off, if you didn't even get involved with someone who you weren't attracted to, you wouldn't be dumping them UltaFlame ... I'm not saying you can't be friends with them, but again ... who is with you through the thick and the rough?? Who stands by your side through everything?? Good friends will, but your partner will indefinitely. So, I say focus more on finding a partner than friends.

You speak as though your special person is just going to fall into your lap like a story straight from a fairy tale just because you're open to everyone!! Being open with everyone often creates room for a party of three or more, and that can get nasty. Being open with everyone often leads a person to flirt with multiple people, while trying to hold onto each of them while making comparisons...

I have seen this method used mainly by girls who are looking for relationships, and it hurts a lot of people. I've even been personally affected and it did it's number on me. When this happened, I realized that if I was gonna be happy, it was time to stop acting modest, and be selfish ... I have found the most special girl in the world this way. I'm just saying ... It worked for me.

When guys do it, they are mainly looking to score and nothing more ...

In both cases, I disapprove. once again, my opinion

P.S. Organize your responses at me in spoilers, and we can hold a separate conversation without bothering everyone else if you want, but this won't turn into a debate if we don't let it.

[Vell]

I'm sorry this is the standard miscommunication I always have with people. The point im making is different from the point your seeing. It's because our minds work inherently different due to our brains being wired differently in a sense.

Spoiler: ShowHide

I'm saying, don't have standards for looks, I never did, because the person you find will be the person you find most beautiful. the way you say it, to me, it sounds as though - before anything else - you must enjoy their looks. they MUST be beautiful to you - before you know them. I've always been taught(and always believed) that love is selfless. If for one moment I felt that the person I'm in a relationship liked me originally because they were Physically attracted to me... or the main reason they feel the relationship can continue is BECAUSE they're physically attracted to me... I'd drop them and walk off. Love isn't the physical attraction, and excuse me, but from what you're saying, thats what you seem to think it is. Love is knowing that you care for another person, that you'd protect them - no matter the situation, and that above all else the person you're with at that moment is the one you want to be with. Love is Feeling a sense of satisfaction, of a want to be together - alone or not - with that person, just hanging out, because life just seems the most full when they're around. it's not 'oh I think your hot, but after a while I see you also somehow fit my personality and you seem relatively sane enough. let's get married and have kids.'

EDIT: and can we get OFF this now, while it's not exactly irrelavent, I don't think it's what Blizz had in mind when he created the thread. though I dunno, he seems to be aiming towards me a lot lately, and ya know, he's Blizz. if he doesn't like something he'll do somethin sneaky against it.

it already IS a debate.

[Calintz]

UltaFlame - The debate IS BETWEEN YOU AND ME.

Spoiler: ShowHide

Love isn't the physical attraction, and excuse me, but from what you're saying, thats what you seem to think it is. Love is knowing that you care for another person, that you'd protect them - no matter the situation, and that above all else the person you're with at that moment is the one you want to be with. Love is Feeling a sense of satisfaction, of a want to be together - alone or not - with that person, just hanging out, because life just seems the most full when they're around.

I'm sorry but I take offense to this, because this is not how I view love. I speak of the process of elimination itself. Love is all the things you say here, and so much more ... Did you happen to read my mother's quote!? THAT is how I was raised, and THAT is what I believe. I don't simply throw a girl out the window, because they aren't gorgeous (I also stated this). The person determines the beauty ... (As we both have said ten times over.)

It isn't a general debate because it doesn't involve everyone, unless they choose to be a part of it.

[Vell]

yeah. whatever let's move on. seemed to me like you were saying beauty is more important than the other two, and that just seems to be bull in my mind. the quote you left,a nd the words you said otherwise seemed conflicting in my mind, but is prolly my fault considering my brain works differently. I'm also raised never to use that as an excuse, but blizz is getting annoying to me lately, and the only reason i can see is that he's just being a general bitch to me cuz he doesnt like me or somethin, or the numerous miscommunications lead to a misinterpretation of me. but yeah, whatever.

i think the main difference to you and me is that I don't look at anyone, or look for anyone specific, or anything specific, while you have a defined list of things, or something.  the difference comes in that you seem to think there must be a physical attraction even before you say you love someone, while I think the attraction comes with love.