Author Topic: The Storyline Service. Worldbuilding, Plots, Characters & Internal Consistency!  (Read 75336 times)

Offline Vell

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
« Reply #40 on: April 20, 2008, 01:46:05 AM »
yup.

Offline Fallen Angel X

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
« Reply #41 on: April 20, 2008, 03:09:30 PM »
Okay. I might refer my friend to here whose writing a book ;D Once I get started on working on my games again I might come here too :P

Offline Vell

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
« Reply #42 on: April 20, 2008, 05:21:30 PM »
k. if he wishes to I can hire him on since pretty much everyone else who worked here either didnt come, is useless for most things, or left the forums.

Offline Vell

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
« Reply #43 on: May 29, 2008, 11:40:14 PM »
ok then I'd just like to let people know that yes, we are open.

Offline Chaze007

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
« Reply #44 on: August 26, 2008, 11:10:02 PM »
okay, lol im here :D. but id liek to talk in an instant messenger of some sort. :\
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Offline Vell

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
« Reply #45 on: August 27, 2008, 01:47:06 AM »
I've got an AIM.

Offline Chaze007

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
« Reply #46 on: August 27, 2008, 01:49:40 AM »
that works, add me chaze007@aol.com.
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Offline Valcos

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
« Reply #47 on: August 27, 2008, 03:59:16 AM »
k. if he wishes to I can hire him on since pretty much everyone else who worked here either didnt come, is useless for most things, or left the forums.

He im pretty sure im still here :<_<:. I didnt leave you.
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Offline Vell

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
« Reply #48 on: August 28, 2008, 06:23:22 PM »
'pretty much' are operative words.

Offline Diokatsu

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
« Reply #49 on: August 28, 2008, 06:23:51 PM »
I'm here IT! How may I serve?

Offline Vell

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
« Reply #50 on: August 28, 2008, 06:33:00 PM »
Area of Interests, usual time of day you'd like to be contacted? then I'll add you to the first post and people can come to you if they need help.

Offline Diokatsu

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
« Reply #51 on: August 28, 2008, 06:41:21 PM »
Anythign is fine to be honest, but I like to develope characters and interactions the most. Storylines are fine as well. But to pick one, again, it would be characters and interaction. Of course this needs a good knowledge of how the story goes so make sure to tell them I'd need to know the story itself before I can help deepen the characters  :haha:

Ummmm Well I have to start school soon so after in the afternoon is fine. But I live in Massachusetts in the US so make sure it's after 5:00 there. I'll be on MSN and AIM all the time once I get on so it'll be easy to contact me. You can PM me anytime if you just want me to review something and not debate and I'll write out the critiques.

Offline Vell

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
« Reply #52 on: August 28, 2008, 07:37:56 PM »
Dio check out the first post.

Offline Diokatsu

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
« Reply #53 on: August 29, 2008, 12:59:08 AM »
Thank you, IT. I'm ready for anything people will throw at me. Hopefully people like my input xD
« Last Edit: August 29, 2008, 01:01:04 AM by Diokatsu »

Offline sondex

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
« Reply #54 on: September 18, 2008, 03:53:52 AM »
Umm...how about a character's history? How's this:

Name – Zora the Harlot

Age -24

Appearance – Purple hair. Red eyes. Wears a revealing garb.

Weapon - Knife

Talents/Hobbies – She can steal from enemies.

Strengths – She can escape from very tight situations. she cares about those she leads.

Flaws – She is overly concerned with her looks.

Likes – Cute guys. Money. Rich men.

Hates - Rich women., debts.

Fears –Growing old.

Occupation –Leader of a gang of bandits: The Scars.

Hometown – Unknown.

Social Class - peasant

History/backstory – She grew up poor for most of her life. She always wanted new clothes but could not afford them. She had to take care of her younger siblings. In order to get money, she had to prostitute herself. She once met a man that wanted her to stop. His name was Fanth. He promised her protection and love for her and all of her siblings. She loved him, but he soon fell in love with another woman who was rich. He left her and her siblings in the street. They formed a gang of thieves and lived a life of stealing. However, they were caught and sentenced for death. Zora was able to escape, but she could not save her siblings in time. She had to watch them all die. She was recognized in the crowd and ran away where she met with the leader of bandits called the Scars. The leader took her in and she became his successor.

Current story – Zora noticed that the elder of the village called Udin owed her money from months ago. She decided to go and get what was hers. That's where her story begins….

How's that? :^_^':
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Offline Valcos

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
« Reply #55 on: September 19, 2008, 01:44:17 AM »
Lol... the town elder owes a person of the peasant level money? Personally doesnt seem right :P.
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Offline sondex

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
« Reply #56 on: September 19, 2008, 07:03:25 PM »
You see, a harlot is a voluptuous woman who sleeps around, sort of like a prostitute. Well, the elder had a fun time with Zora, and he stiffed her on the payment. She charges interest (yeah, she's that good... :^_^':), and over the years, that money has grown to a large amount. Also, the village elder isn't all that he appears to be...  :O.o:
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<br />I teach music composition, mapping in VX and simple eventing techniques. I have 4 music tutorials now, but after my fifth, I\'ll do a mapping tutorial. If you wanna see some of my lessons, go here: http://www.eminweb.com/forum/index.php?showforum=86

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
« Reply #57 on: September 20, 2008, 12:45:23 AM »
do you happen to review stories too?  :^_^':

Offline Diokatsu

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
« Reply #58 on: September 20, 2008, 12:51:01 AM »
Sound like the typical cliche thief to me...Background is ok but the personality is by the book

Offline sondex

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Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
« Reply #59 on: September 20, 2008, 12:58:09 AM »
Aw, man...thought I made her pretty well...Got any suggestions on how I could make her different?

Also, here's Devlin and Dr.horlit:

Name - Devlin- the fierce one / Aquila- revival of the fallen.(After he is revived twice.)

Age -16

Appearance - Red hair with orange tips at the end. He wears a dark blue jacket with coattails. He has gray pants and brown shoes.

Weapon - Dual Swords

Talents/Hobbies - He can control Forae, an essence that fills the world and makes up the elements.

Strengths - He has determination. He fights for what he believes is right. When things become rough, he becomes cooperative. He has a strong will to live.

Flaws - He's stubborn as a mule. He makes decisions based on instinct. He does not take criticism well. He is critical of others. He cannot see his own flaws. He pushes people away from him. His will to live at any cost also makes him do rash actions.

Likes - People who think highly of him. Money. Battles. Gambling

Hates - People who criticize him. Poor people. People with siblings and parents

Fears -Death, confinement, bugs (yeah…)

Occupation -Traveling swordsman.

Hometown - Genivo

Social Class - peasant

History/backstory - Devlin was always made fun of as a child. He once lived with his
father and mother, but his father would always ignore him. He has one brother named Truman, the loyal one, but his brother also never paid attention to him. He would beat Devlin up if Devlin annoyed him. One day, his father left his mother for another woman and never came back. Times were hard and His mother could not support him so she abandoned him with his brother. An old man finds them. He happens to be a swordsman named Steiner. They become close and they learn how to fight. However, Devlin would lack in skills while Truman would exceed. He was recognized for his abilities while Devlin was overshadowed. He was taken into the royal family of Romulot. Devlin resented his brother's successes. At the age of 16, Devlin left Steiner without telling him and began to wander the world.

Current story - He wanders into a small village called Udin searching for something to drink and that is where his story begins…


Name – Dr.Horlit

Age-37

Appearance –

Weapon – None/ Foratic spear( Once the Soul link with Aditi(Mother of the gods) has been made.)

Talents/Hobbies – Can use Forae, he often stares into the night sky.

Strengths – Can use Forae even though he is not supposed to be able to use it. Headstrong.

Flaws – His determination and headstrong like behavior is so extreme that his actions sometimes defy reason.

Likes – The night. Tools. Logic

Hates - People who bully others.

Fears –Death.

Occupation –Head scientist of the Government.

Hometown – Unknown.

Social Class - peasant

History/backstory –A sickly child, he was always teased because he could never play sports. He lived through the war of Haolin. However, he was the only one who survived in his hometown. He hid form the soldiers who invaded and watched his family get slaughtered right before his eyes. He found another town and was taken in by a woman named Mary. They grew close, but their relationship would not last long. Bandits came to plunder the town during the war. They killed Mary and she fell on top of him while she was protecting him. He was kidnapped and since he had no family he was worthless to them. They stabbed him and threw him off of a cliff. He was only 12 years old then. He survived, but he lost his memory of what happened. He wandered into the kingdom of Romulot and lived with a shop owner. There he studied hard and became a scientist.

Current story –After the events of the meteor he joined the Government and became the head scientist. That is where his story began...
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<br />I teach music composition, mapping in VX and simple eventing techniques. I have 4 music tutorials now, but after my fifth, I\'ll do a mapping tutorial. If you wanna see some of my lessons, go here: http://www.eminweb.com/forum/index.php?showforum=86