Chaos Project

RPG Maker => Projects / Games => Recruitment => Topic started by: Vell on January 08, 2008, 02:03:48 AM

Title: The Storyline Service. Worldbuilding, Plots, Characters & Internal Consistency!
Post by: Vell on January 08, 2008, 02:03:48 AM
Wow, that old post had some shitty grammar. Really doesn't provide a professional atmosphere to have misspellings and starting sentences with a lowercase letter. Anywho, I here am Vell, known around here as either Ulta, Vellus, Vellus Terennia, UltaFlame, or p much anything someone cares to nickname me. I used to be pretty much a celebrity at Chaos Project, but then I had a teenage flipout and got banned and then unbanned and then between inactivity and generally not posting, I'm more or less a factor of CP's history and not really involved in the process of game-making in the modern day.

Let's change that, shall we?

The Idea

Hello, dear reader, this thread here is designed to provide a service to the Chaos Project community. What sort of service am I providing, you ask, dear anonymous user? Simple! I am here to provide YOU (The anonymous user) with the service of storyline assistance! What does that mean? Well, it boils down to a few things. See, there's one thing many people who want to be game developers lack and that's the ability to structure their creativity. Writing is -hard- as any published novelist will tell you. It requires a lot of practice, a lot of sweat and so many hours of looking at what went wrong and trying to figure out how to fix it. And for the solo developer - as many people at CP are - there are a lot of other skills you need to be proficient at in order to successfully create your game, or have resources to shortcut on a few of those skills. You need art assets, code for scripting, eventing, mapping, editing of all of these, musical assets and... probably, a lot more. Even using RPG Maker you still need a wide variety of skills. A lot of the time people forget that these games are going to need to follow a plot and have character interaction.

Which is where I come in. I'm not going to write your game's plot for you. I'm not going to develop your world from the ground up. I'm not going to so much as write a single line of character dialogue. Put simply, I don't have the time for that. If I were going to do that, I'd write my own plot, develop my own world, write my own dialogue, and then probably practice the skills needed needed to make a game on my own. What I will do for you is help you do these things yourself. To that end, allow me to move on to a relatively unrelated point and rant for a bit about myself. No, trust me, dear anonymous user, I'm getting somewhere. Seriously, it'll help you in the end to understand the purpose of this place! Really! You willing to let me move on and talk about myself now? Yes? Good. You kept me waiting much longer and I was going to show you why I used to be called THE IT here at Chaos Project.

I am a writer. Not by trade, as it so happens (though I am working on a first draft for a novel) but I have spent more than a decade honing the art. Yes, that's right, writing is an art and I am an artist. Like any artist, I specialized and focused my effort into a particular aspect. Just as the cubist painter focuses on... well, cubist painting, I am a worldbuilder, which means my focus in writing is in building and developing worlds. I also am an experienced GM for forum roleplaying, as my... many and varied failed attempts at roleplaying at this very forum can attest. Utilising both skillsets has given me a unique ability that I have found makes me an excellent asset to other people. That ability is this: I am very good at taking a wide-range of points in terms of plot and characterisation and simple worldbuilding and bringing them together into a cohesive whole. My talent isn't simply in writing - it's in taking disparate elements and tying them together.

How can that help you? You don't already see it? My dear anonymous user, can't you open your eyes? I excel at asking questions. You tell me about your world, about what magic is to it, where it came from, who the actors on the stage are, where they go... you tell me about the villains, their motivations and their ideals and I... I will ask you why? Not only that, I will ask you everything. I won't tear it apart, I won't tell you it's wrong, but I'll help you expand upon it. And, sometimes, I'll have suggestions. Ideas. Themes you can incorporate. Most of the time, when I give someone a suggestion, they pause for a moment and tell me that it unexpectedly helped tie two elements together that they couldn't do themselves. This is what I can do for you. I can make plot point A illuminate aspect of the world B and together that can display why character C has goal D and the implications of that lead to new idea E and it all cascades down and past Z. I can take you into infinity, baby. You just gotta talk to me.

Your Part

Is actually simple and easy. You need to do one thing (and this is perhaps the most helpful part of what I do for you) before I can help you. Get everything into one document and then load it into a gun and fire it at my face so I can read it. Compile every fact about your world, from how many continents there are on down to what the most pathetic plebian thinks of his monarch. You give me a synopsis of your plot and don't leave out any spoilers because I need to know that shit to help you out. You tell me about each and every character you have, major and minor. If you have it, give me every piece of actual writing you've done, because it gives me further context.

I'll tell you why. Dearest, most close to my heart, anonymous user, I need this information to start asking questions. And I need it all given to me -before- I have questions. As I read, I will ask questions. And then, based on your answers, I'll give you more questions. And more. And then a few more. After you answer those, I'll read on again and then more questions. Why does this sound like I'm acting like a three year old? "Why is this? But why? But why? But why? But why? But why? But why?" Because... well, to know your story you have to be able to explain it to a three year old constantly asking why. Because that's how depth is added to your tale. You have to be able to live in your world to truly tell its story, you know.

So come on, anonymous user. Stop being invisible scum, send me that personal message, find me on skype, and give me that document. Tell me about what has burned your soul, the ideas that have threatened to cave your skull in, give me everything. And like the roaring fire, I will refine it. Purify it. I will put it through the ringer, push it to the limit and beyond and by the time I'm finished with you... you'll be ready to finish it all on your own. That is the service I offer you. My product isn't simple. It's not something you can just look at before you purchase it. It's not something you can test. I'm not offering you something easily obtained. Hell, my product isn't something I can sell, because you know what? I'm not selling you anything that came from my own efforts. I'm not giving you something of me, I'm not giving you anything but my own time. But I am providing you with something. It's something you already have, but it's something you might need my help to find. Because at the end of the day, my goal is your goal. I can't charge any money for this service because that would imply that the product of my service is mine. My stories, my worlds, my characters. And they're not. They won't be. That's why this is a free service.

Everything, every world I help you show, every character that we flesh out, every plot that springs fully formed from a villain's plotting machine, every tiny aspect that brings it all together... it'll come from you. It'll be your work. Your story to share with the world. Believe me, anonymous user, I'm not giving you anything that's mine. I'm giving you everything that's yours and at the end, that's why this service is here. It's here to help you believe in yourself, to find the kinks and holes and fill them in. That's why I'm here. Not so that I can make something for you. But so that I can help you find what you need to make something yourself. I'll be here, my anonymous user, so regardless of where in the process you find yourself stuck, just search me up and I'll make your dreams come true. By your own effort.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Lost_Hope on January 08, 2008, 03:23:03 AM
i'm here!
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on January 08, 2008, 04:38:21 AM
AWESOME!!!

this forum style is gonna take some getting used to.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Fantasist on January 08, 2008, 08:07:54 AM
Yes, and yay for sticky :D
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Sally on January 09, 2008, 12:28:31 AM
yea it might, and u know what wired?

everyone who is posting is a mod... :P mostly...
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Nortos on January 09, 2008, 12:53:14 AM
congrats on ur mods guys  ;) and gl with your service again
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on January 09, 2008, 12:55:21 AM
ever need help come here and we will (:
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Sally on January 09, 2008, 02:55:25 AM
:P
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Pliio8 on January 12, 2008, 05:45:04 PM
Hi, umm, people say that my story is complete crap as in, too confusing and it makes no sense. Can you help me?

Story: The time is 19XX, in a somewhat fuedal world. A long time ago, in wartime a women Named Arastovia created a book that held her ideaology, and with this she stopped the wars and caused 2 millinea of peace. But then a young boy who lived in the city St. Arastovia witnessed his girlfriend being killed and his life destroyed, whenever his home city was attacked.

Later he learns that Arastovia hid a message in her book, a spell of how to restore peace. The rebel's, what the antagonist are called, attack more cities before he reads this message in Arastovia's old home, and is quickly transported to Arastovia's time. When meeting her after stirring a whole lot of trouble, A warmster of a kingdom kills Arastovia and burns here not yet finished book, severly screwing up the future. The buy returns to his time only to learn that the Rebel's now have a plot to blow up his home continent. He infiltraits the base and stops the leader of the Rebel's, but soon after the continent gets blown up. He is only of 4 survivors. The credits roll and the game ends.

I hope that that was not to long.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on January 12, 2008, 06:25:14 PM
umm... yeah, it needs work, its quite confusing, and yes, it doesnt make much sense... but this is as an overall, it seems like u could make the entire game take up a matter of thirty minutes, which isnt good.

ok I think i like the idea of his girlfriend dieing and his city being razed, thats good, however, your gonna need to come up with an explanation on how he got there, if its just reading the book that causes it, your gonna need to really make that scene incredible.

and it seems like his adventures in the past should be the main part, possibly him trying to find Arastovia, following clues and helping people in trouble, gaining a few allies along the way, making many enemies, after a while, he feels he is finally closing in on Arastovia, and right before that, a bunch of the guys he fought in thepast appear and try to kill him, the boys allies hold them off as he rushes into a building, where he believes Arastovia is currently, and meets her there, but then we hear an agonized death scream, and Arastovia and the boy turn around and see the Warmaster guy there, the boy lifts his sword, and fights the Warmaster, but is easily defeated, we then see a battle between Arastovia and the Warmaster, Arastovia is winning, but then the guys the boy fought in the past kill his allies, and charge into the room, knowing she is then outmatched, she uses the last part of her power to send the boy back to his hometime.

he is in the house from before, but the book is gone, and he knows he seriously messed up, he then hears of Rebel's plans to destroy his continent, he finds a runaway Lieutenant of theres, who leads the boy to there hideout, in a last ditch effort they rally the survivors of his hometown, and launch a final assault on the building, they break the enemy lines, but only the boy and the lieutenant survived.

the boys family had died long ago.

with cold resolve, they head into the building, and work there way through the enemy ranks, finding the leader of Rebel, whom battles you, and you lose, he then kills the lieutenant, causing the boy to go on a rampage, and a power from within erupts, a power, the boss notes, that is similar to Arastovia's, you then battle again and win.

a single whisper reaches the boys ear 'you have done well, but you are not finished yet with your mission' the boy then notices that the boss had pushed a button, initiating the sequence to annihalate his continent, stealing a zeppelin(or whatever is used to fly) he barely manages to escape and looks on as his continent sinks to the depths, shattered, broken, and uninhabitable.


and i was thinking... we make two different stories...

I mean, the Warlord fight is where it starts, its gonna be designed for the guys who play to not be able to win, but if they manage to... then an Alternate event happens, in which Arastovia survives, and you stay in the past, trained under Arastovia to go back to the future, to prevent Rebel's actions, and under her guidance, you decide to stay in the past indefinitely, however it is not allowed, and Arastovia sends you back to your time, however, with him, are his allies from the past, and together, they manage to defeat the Rebel Base, afterwards, the Boss shows up, and they battle, and are initially defeated, then they all show the power that the boy does in the original ending, and the boss guy shows a similar power, and the fight is more doable, but hard. ridiculously hard, should be extremely hard to win

if u do win, then the boss dies, and your village and allies manage to escape the exploding continent.

if u lose, you guys barely manage to escape yourselves, and the boss guy is still alive, however ur village is lost entirely.


it could use some more expansion, but atleast now we have an idea, thats more than a confusing pile of not understandable words.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Pliio8 on January 13, 2008, 04:23:44 AM
I do have all of it and the game is planned to be 60 hours long, I just gave the jist of it. David, the protagonist, heads through a forest where his girfriend's, Ilane's, father planted a tree. An axeman cuts down the tree which severly po's Ilane, you batle him and win. He is the first boss.

After the razing, you head with a caravan to David's city, where the book is held in a teasury. You overhear the king talking about another attack, on his city. You sneak into the treasury and steal the book, then that city is attacked. You meet up with a fortune teller who says that the power within the book is gone, and must be restored. After wtnessing more attacks and restoring the power at three location, you go back in time.

Now in the past, your party will nickname this time perdiod dread. You go to multiple dungeons in order to get the ability to sail. After stirring up trouble you find arastovia's house. She is killed by the Warmaster of a kingdom. The warmaster sends you back through time to your home time where noone is seen. After finding survivors on your home continenet in Elegy, the third time period, you assault the rebel base. After destroying MaRYl, the computer Ai of the base, you sonfront Sigiel, the leader of the rebels. Before he dies he activates the bomb and you manage to escape with no time to spare. Roll credits.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Nortos on January 13, 2008, 09:33:54 AM
60hrs long seems bit unrealistic (especially if solo project) but gl if you have the dedication :)
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Blizzard on January 13, 2008, 03:03:06 PM
You will need many huge maps. My maps are average 40x40, I have over 400 and about 10 hours of straight gameplay (without side quests).
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Pliio8 on January 13, 2008, 04:08:24 PM
You will need many huge maps. My maps are average 40x40, I have over 400 and about 10 hours of straight gameplay (without side quests).

I've already made a game that had 353 maps, and had 30 hours of gameplay.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Blizzard on January 13, 2008, 04:18:26 PM
Then you know what's incoming. :)
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: magic2345 on January 13, 2008, 04:19:28 PM
Wait, wait, wait. 30 hrs?!?!  :o
Your maps must be really really huge and have many sidequests.....
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on January 13, 2008, 06:24:39 PM
ah, well if u have everything planned, why you need to come here? so any particular aspectr you want some help on?
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Pliio8 on January 13, 2008, 07:15:12 PM
ah, well if u have everything planned, why you need to come here? so any particular aspectr you want some help on?

People still say that the storyline is too confusing and thats why I came here in the first place.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on January 14, 2008, 02:00:43 AM
it seems oddly short for a 60 hr game... however while short to me, atleast, it doesnt seem confusing... some parts dont make total sense, but as a whole I don't believe its confusing, ill reread it however.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Valcos on February 16, 2008, 08:11:37 PM
I was just wondering is this post still active? Or no? Because I was think of getting some help to see how my storyline is coming along.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on February 17, 2008, 02:49:52 AM
it always is as long as im here, even if nobodys postd in it for 5 years, its still open.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Valcos on February 17, 2008, 06:26:59 AM
Lol  :D Sweet Deal! Im going to write up my story, that might take me sometime :-\ I aint to good at writing summaries and summing things up. But expect me to post it up with in the next 2 days. ;D
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Valcos on February 19, 2008, 02:59:27 AM
Hey :D! Ulta I have a summary done. :P So just tell me when you want me to send it to you. Alright, Thanks. 8)
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on February 19, 2008, 01:26:18 PM
whenever you want is fine.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on February 27, 2008, 04:27:44 PM
anyone interested in joining? im apparently on my own again, and I don't want to handle every single one that comes in, so some assisstance would be nice, if you want to help, tat is
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Valcos on February 28, 2008, 02:55:53 AM
I wonder why no one really wants help with their storylines :-\. Its always good to get an "outside" opinion! :D
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Calintz on February 29, 2008, 04:19:01 AM
I agree, which is why I'm making a request!! :)
Gimme a few minutes and as soon as I decide how exactly I want to word this, I'll edit this post...

EDIT:
What I have that I believe you'll need to know...
Ok...I have two main villains in my game. Thornopsis and Maltest. Thornopsis killed your secondary character's best friend a few tears back, and so Gil has a grudge towards Thornopsis. Maltest is relatively unknown in the land of Wruterius, but he is the one who knocks Blake into the well.

**THORNOPSIS >> Extremely closed-minded monster, cares nothing for no-one, except his tribe and his establishment. He is VERY strong, but fairly reckless...

**MALTEST    >> To say he is deceitful would be an understatement!! Very cunning and loves to play mind games to crush a foe's will and soul before physically slaughtering them. Nothing pleases Maltest more, than to desicrate a warrior's resolve and bring his/her's heroic nature to it's knees.

What I need from you...
I would like for you to create a VERY heated scene, where Maltest summons Thornopsis before the player and his party have a chance to get at him. When Gil notices that it's Thornopsis, he bears no hesitation to violently and stupidly attack him resulting in serious injuries, as Maltest slips int the darkness and gets away...
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on February 29, 2008, 05:40:29 PM
should i PM it to you, or do you not mind me putting it here?
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Calintz on March 01, 2008, 05:41:57 AM
Feel free to do whichever...
No, post it here, that'd be easier, and the other members of the site will know that you have completed work, and that'll compliment your service.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on March 01, 2008, 08:54:10 AM
(Gil is one of those animal things that turn into a ferocious animal thing right?)

ok...

lets see... im thinkin of this on a split second.

since its Thornopsis, why don't we have this be set, in his land, the thorn forest or w/e it was Gil and his friend originally encountered the guy.

and lets say Maltest was being chased by them into there, and they finally caught up with him.

main character: Maltest, you Won't get out of here alive.

Maltest: oh, but (insert name) I do believe i will.

Gil(who already is slightly in a rage, due to being in the place where his friend died, also, while chasing Maltest, perhaps having him have flashbacks, and getting more into a rage might be fuel for his attack on Thornopsis, which allows Maltest to escape): YOU!

Gil would then go into his altered state, and charge at Maltest, only to be knocked back by Maltest, easily.

Gil: grrrrrr

main character: Gil, calm down, he's just trying to get you to be reckless!

Gil: I DONT CARE!

Gil attempts to attack, but is stopped by the main character, who can abrely restrain him.

Maltest: so (main character) you can't keep your pet under control? a very bad master, I must say.

Main character: GIL ISNT MY PET!

Gil(at the same time): (main character) IS NOT MY MASTER!

Maltest: really? is it not true (main character) that you enslave animals like Gil in your world? make them do sometimes meaningless chores, and use them as a form of entertainment? is it true you don't even consider them sentient? HA!

main character: GIL IS NOT AN ANIMAL!

Gil(who, if the topic had come up before, forgot about it in his rage): YOU ENSLAVE MY KIND IN YOUR WORLD?!

Gil, blinded by rage, and inable to control himself, knocks the main character off him, and goes to attack him, only to be stopped by other members of the party, who plead with him to calm down, or if there are no others, is blocked by the main character, who blocks Gils attack with his weapon, which you see right after a flash of white.

Maltest laughs hysterically, then says: Oh Dear, two friends, turned on eachother in blind rage, anyway, I really should be going, got stuff to do, people to kill, hey Gil, is (insert someone close to Gil) alright?

Maltest then Laughs, as Gil, attacks Maltest, assisted by the main character.

a light blinds them before they can reach Maltest.

Maltest: tsk tsk tsk, well, if you are itching for a fight that much, here, this guy should prove to be enough of a fight for you.

Gil: GET BA-

Maltest summons Thornopsis

Gil: THORNOPSIS!

Gil attacks, and i think you have the rest planned out.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Nortos on March 01, 2008, 09:21:51 AM
I'll pm you some stuff for my next demo that looked nice and I wanna work some things out
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
Post by: Vell on March 05, 2008, 12:23:18 AM
IM BACK AND WORKING

and still looking for employees.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
Post by: Valcos on March 05, 2008, 12:32:45 AM
I would help you but I'm not good with writing :-\. I like thinking of ideas for stuff though. But dont really think that would help anyways ;D!
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
Post by: Vell on March 05, 2008, 03:47:08 AM
you can be an idea man. WE COULD USE ONE! as a lot of people are just looking for ideas...
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
Post by: Valcos on March 05, 2008, 03:51:46 AM
Lol an Idea Man sounds like fun :D... I could try it out, if you want :P
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
Post by: Vell on March 05, 2008, 04:01:08 AM
cool, I'll add you to the first post.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
Post by: Valcos on March 05, 2008, 04:02:57 AM
Sweet :D. So I guess if anyone needs some ideas ask me the "Idea Man" 8).
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
Post by: Vell on March 05, 2008, 04:10:31 AM
yeah
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
Post by: Vell on April 12, 2008, 03:37:49 PM
so anyone want a job here?
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
Post by: Fallen Angel X on April 19, 2008, 12:07:19 AM
Hmm. As a question, mostly out of curiosity, this thread helps with storylines in general? Not just games? So like if I was writing a novel or something I could come here too? ???
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
Post by: Vell on April 20, 2008, 01:46:05 AM
yup.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
Post by: Fallen Angel X on April 20, 2008, 03:09:30 PM
Okay. I might refer my friend to here whose writing a book ;D Once I get started on working on my games again I might come here too :P
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
Post by: Vell on April 20, 2008, 05:21:30 PM
k. if he wishes to I can hire him on since pretty much everyone else who worked here either didnt come, is useless for most things, or left the forums.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
Post by: Vell on May 29, 2008, 11:40:14 PM
ok then I'd just like to let people know that yes, we are open.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Chaze007 on August 26, 2008, 11:10:02 PM
okay, lol im here :D. but id liek to talk in an instant messenger of some sort. :\
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on August 27, 2008, 01:47:06 AM
I've got an AIM.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Chaze007 on August 27, 2008, 01:49:40 AM
that works, add me chaze007@aol.com.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service (REOPENED!)
Post by: Valcos on August 27, 2008, 03:59:16 AM
k. if he wishes to I can hire him on since pretty much everyone else who worked here either didnt come, is useless for most things, or left the forums.

He im pretty sure im still here :<_<:. I didnt leave you.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on August 28, 2008, 06:23:22 PM
'pretty much' are operative words.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Diokatsu on August 28, 2008, 06:23:51 PM
I'm here IT! How may I serve?
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on August 28, 2008, 06:33:00 PM
Area of Interests, usual time of day you'd like to be contacted? then I'll add you to the first post and people can come to you if they need help.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Diokatsu on August 28, 2008, 06:41:21 PM
Anythign is fine to be honest, but I like to develope characters and interactions the most. Storylines are fine as well. But to pick one, again, it would be characters and interaction. Of course this needs a good knowledge of how the story goes so make sure to tell them I'd need to know the story itself before I can help deepen the characters  :haha:

Ummmm Well I have to start school soon so after in the afternoon is fine. But I live in Massachusetts in the US so make sure it's after 5:00 there. I'll be on MSN and AIM all the time once I get on so it'll be easy to contact me. You can PM me anytime if you just want me to review something and not debate and I'll write out the critiques.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on August 28, 2008, 07:37:56 PM
Dio check out the first post.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Diokatsu on August 29, 2008, 12:59:08 AM
Thank you, IT. I'm ready for anything people will throw at me. Hopefully people like my input xD
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: sondex on September 18, 2008, 03:53:52 AM
Umm...how about a character's history? How's this:

Name – Zora the Harlot

Age -24

Appearance – Purple hair. Red eyes. Wears a revealing garb.

Weapon - Knife

Talents/Hobbies – She can steal from enemies.

Strengths – She can escape from very tight situations. she cares about those she leads.

Flaws – She is overly concerned with her looks.

Likes – Cute guys. Money. Rich men.

Hates - Rich women., debts.

Fears –Growing old.

Occupation –Leader of a gang of bandits: The Scars.

Hometown – Unknown.

Social Class - peasant

History/backstory – She grew up poor for most of her life. She always wanted new clothes but could not afford them. She had to take care of her younger siblings. In order to get money, she had to prostitute herself. She once met a man that wanted her to stop. His name was Fanth. He promised her protection and love for her and all of her siblings. She loved him, but he soon fell in love with another woman who was rich. He left her and her siblings in the street. They formed a gang of thieves and lived a life of stealing. However, they were caught and sentenced for death. Zora was able to escape, but she could not save her siblings in time. She had to watch them all die. She was recognized in the crowd and ran away where she met with the leader of bandits called the Scars. The leader took her in and she became his successor.

Current story – Zora noticed that the elder of the village called Udin owed her money from months ago. She decided to go and get what was hers. That's where her story begins….

How's that? :^_^':
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Valcos on September 19, 2008, 01:44:17 AM
Lol... the town elder owes a person of the peasant level money? Personally doesnt seem right :P.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: sondex on September 19, 2008, 07:03:25 PM
You see, a harlot is a voluptuous woman who sleeps around, sort of like a prostitute. Well, the elder had a fun time with Zora, and he stiffed her on the payment. She charges interest (yeah, she's that good... :^_^':), and over the years, that money has grown to a large amount. Also, the village elder isn't all that he appears to be...  :O.o:
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Kukulkan on September 20, 2008, 12:45:23 AM
do you happen to review stories too?  :^_^':
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Diokatsu on September 20, 2008, 12:51:01 AM
Sound like the typical cliche thief to me...Background is ok but the personality is by the book
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: sondex on September 20, 2008, 12:58:09 AM
Aw, man...thought I made her pretty well...Got any suggestions on how I could make her different?

Also, here's Devlin and Dr.horlit:

Name - Devlin- the fierce one / Aquila- revival of the fallen.(After he is revived twice.)

Age -16

Appearance - Red hair with orange tips at the end. He wears a dark blue jacket with coattails. He has gray pants and brown shoes.

Weapon - Dual Swords

Talents/Hobbies - He can control Forae, an essence that fills the world and makes up the elements.

Strengths - He has determination. He fights for what he believes is right. When things become rough, he becomes cooperative. He has a strong will to live.

Flaws - He's stubborn as a mule. He makes decisions based on instinct. He does not take criticism well. He is critical of others. He cannot see his own flaws. He pushes people away from him. His will to live at any cost also makes him do rash actions.

Likes - People who think highly of him. Money. Battles. Gambling

Hates - People who criticize him. Poor people. People with siblings and parents

Fears -Death, confinement, bugs (yeah…)

Occupation -Traveling swordsman.

Hometown - Genivo

Social Class - peasant

History/backstory - Devlin was always made fun of as a child. He once lived with his
father and mother, but his father would always ignore him. He has one brother named Truman, the loyal one, but his brother also never paid attention to him. He would beat Devlin up if Devlin annoyed him. One day, his father left his mother for another woman and never came back. Times were hard and His mother could not support him so she abandoned him with his brother. An old man finds them. He happens to be a swordsman named Steiner. They become close and they learn how to fight. However, Devlin would lack in skills while Truman would exceed. He was recognized for his abilities while Devlin was overshadowed. He was taken into the royal family of Romulot. Devlin resented his brother's successes. At the age of 16, Devlin left Steiner without telling him and began to wander the world.

Current story - He wanders into a small village called Udin searching for something to drink and that is where his story begins…


Name – Dr.Horlit

Age-37

Appearance –

Weapon – None/ Foratic spear( Once the Soul link with Aditi(Mother of the gods) has been made.)

Talents/Hobbies – Can use Forae, he often stares into the night sky.

Strengths – Can use Forae even though he is not supposed to be able to use it. Headstrong.

Flaws – His determination and headstrong like behavior is so extreme that his actions sometimes defy reason.

Likes – The night. Tools. Logic

Hates - People who bully others.

Fears –Death.

Occupation –Head scientist of the Government.

Hometown – Unknown.

Social Class - peasant

History/backstory –A sickly child, he was always teased because he could never play sports. He lived through the war of Haolin. However, he was the only one who survived in his hometown. He hid form the soldiers who invaded and watched his family get slaughtered right before his eyes. He found another town and was taken in by a woman named Mary. They grew close, but their relationship would not last long. Bandits came to plunder the town during the war. They killed Mary and she fell on top of him while she was protecting him. He was kidnapped and since he had no family he was worthless to them. They stabbed him and threw him off of a cliff. He was only 12 years old then. He survived, but he lost his memory of what happened. He wandered into the kingdom of Romulot and lived with a shop owner. There he studied hard and became a scientist.

Current story –After the events of the meteor he joined the Government and became the head scientist. That is where his story began...
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Diokatsu on September 20, 2008, 01:11:46 AM
Dr.Horlit is nice

Devlin is like cliche from all angles. He's just main character material, all throughout

Make him a liar. Make him a person who manipulates others if you can. And not in the whole code geass way, with random plot twist but make him ruthless. Try and avoid the cliche elements that anime uses. I mean...If you came on MSN i'd love to help further...
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on September 24, 2008, 12:23:45 AM
@Kukulkan check the title, yes we review stories.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: sondex on October 10, 2008, 01:54:27 AM
"Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves." -Bill Hicks

“For some death is the end. For others, it is freedom.” –Actually I just made that one up.

Long ago, there was a race of humans that sailed the galaxy. They were searching for a home to call their own. The found a world and named it Galantis. On Galantis lived mystical beings called the Archard, which means holy. The Archard were immortal beings. They never grew old. THese beings provided the humans with food and shelter. They educated them about how the world works  and about magic. The humans grew with the arechard and became plentiful in number. However, the amount of Archard stayed the same. Soon, the humans  took up many of the Archard's land. The Archard tried to explain to the humans the situation, but the humans refused to listen to them. Conflict followed and soon, war ensued. During the war, the device that was used to sail the galaxy was destroyed. The humans found out how to destroy the Archard through magic. As the war began to turn in favor of the humans, The Archard created a dimension to escape from the humans.  before they left, they cast a spell to make the humans forget how to use magic.They were never heard of agian.

Many centuries later, the humans had explored the world. One of the continents they found was the Kilail continent. There, two countries were formed. They had to divide the resources equally and therefore formed a pact never to take too much. However, winter came and food wasscarce  One country took more than it was supposdedto and war was waged once again. The war lasted for 30 years. Both countires were ravaged by the end. They decided to become one kingdom to help recover. The new kingdom was called the Kingdom of Haolin. Likewise, the war became known as the Haolin war.

Other kingdoms were formed by the other civilizations on other continents. One of such kingdoms was called Romulot.

The kingdom of Romulot was founded on weak land. The soil was infertile and poverty spread like a plague. The people were always subject to thievery and criminal acts. However, in such a weak kingdom,  would arise an unlikely hero...(wow, what a cliche.)
Ok.............HIT ME! XD (Zenon joke!)
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Diokatsu on October 10, 2008, 03:09:37 AM
We should establish a theme firstly. Plot stuff sounds very typical, and very undeveloped. Of course, we don't know the full plot ;) so I can't say that. The war is nice, but I'd like to see the after effects of the war in the story, as in rival factions stemming back to the period of the war acting as terrorists and such. This character should probably have some of the effects of poverty, such as either an extremely pessimistic view on life, an extremely optimistic, not to mention cliche, view on life or a view that doesn't acknowledge his situation as bad, oblivious to some extent. He should also have a corrupt moment/period as he gains power/wealth and hates/is ashamed of where he came from. (maybe destryoing his hometown in a fit of rage? Kinda extreme though)
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: scoace13 on October 24, 2008, 07:09:47 PM
k I need help for a storyline for my game currently i have maybe the first five minuets or so and i need more (obviously).

what im using:rpgmaker XP

what i have: main char(as of yet nameless) wakes up in sunny forest next to a camp fire (and other camping like stuff) he gets up and goes hunting for breakfast then when he gets back he starts to eat when he is surounded be the elementals they speak to him reminding him that the night previous he murdered his family(the will be interactive flashback) and they ask him why and he denies the crime they then chalange him to a fight saying that the spirits of life and darkness will determine his fate he loses and dies then in the afterlife (after some sidequesting) he gets the chance to be a godlike enitiy.

thats what i have so far if i could get help with this it would be much appricated.


thanks in advance.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Satoh on October 24, 2008, 07:15:18 PM
Ulta, are you familiar with .hack at all?
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on October 25, 2008, 12:22:48 AM
nope, not at all. i've read the three volume long one, but other than that my exposure to .hack is limited to two episodes of one of the animes. i dont know much.

and scoace, tell me more info on what the game should be like and I can see if I'll be able to help.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Satoh on October 25, 2008, 12:33:29 AM
nope, not at all. i've read the three volume long one, but other than that my exposure to .hack is limited to two episodes of one of the animes. i dont know much.

Well.... I don't know... that may be enough really... I can't be sure just yet, but the main character of my current RPG is Ouka (one of the characters from that very 3 volume series)

It takes place sometime before that manga, and explains how she became the powerful character she is in the books... other than that vague idea though, I have no idea what to make it about... it doesn't have to be anything deep an brooding, really a lighthearted plot would be fine, just enough to make it a reasonable distraction... the real fun will be in the gameplay and minigames...

In the end though I suppose its always your decision whether to try to help or not... if not, maybe I'll come back when I have more details fleshed out.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on October 25, 2008, 01:41:01 AM
well, some ideas, perhaps you could make it be from when Ouka starts playin, an she all nubly. and even go as far as to the point of when she meets the girl who uses the magics, the rare hunter girl.

she wasnt always a werewolf, remember, and go back and check if she stated what class she was before, i think she did. remember: they stated some things that came in expansion packs, so dont have those thigns beforehand.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Satoh on October 25, 2008, 01:56:42 AM
well, some ideas, perhaps you could make it be from when Ouka starts playin, an she all nubly. and even go as far as to the point of when she meets the girl who uses the magics, the rare hunter girl.

she wasnt always a werewolf, remember, and go back and check if she stated what class she was before, i think she did. remember: they stated some things that came in expansion packs, so dont have those thigns beforehand.

You read my mind actually...

It is really the things in between that I have trouble with... I can do setup and finale... but everything else gets foggy.... (which sucks because I love to write stories...)

If you're interested in .hack at all beyond that though, you should check this place out.
http://dothack.wikia.com/wiki/.hack//Wiki

Thanks for the input either way.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: scoace13 on October 25, 2008, 04:09:20 AM
should be like how... this is my first game and i reallly how almost no clue what im doing
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Satoh on October 25, 2008, 04:42:04 AM
should be like how... this is my first game and i reallly how almost no clue what im doing

Its hard to make a game when you don't know what kind of game you want to make... O.o;

I don't mean to be harsh or anything, but I think you should think hard about what you want to do first.

Do you have a setup? War, giant robots, fantasy, someone out for revenge?

Do you have a character? Meaty warrior, demoness princess, mercenary, young man out to prove himself?
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Vell on October 25, 2008, 07:10:12 PM
hey Satoh wanna get a place workin here?
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: Satoh on October 25, 2008, 10:32:49 PM
Haha, I don't know... you think I'd be good at it?

Maybe I'll help whenever I see something I can do.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service
Post by: scoace13 on October 26, 2008, 12:04:11 AM
http://forum.chaos-project.com/index.php?topic=2069.0 does this help
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service - Down since Ulta is gone.
Post by: Vell on January 31, 2009, 06:31:11 AM
PEOPLE. THIS IS DOWN, INACTIVE. IM THE ONLY MEMBER DOING THIS AND I LEFT.

IM KEEPING THIS HERE INCASE I COME BACK.

ITS UNLIKELY, BUT POSSIBLE. NOW ALL OF YOU BE QUIET. FEEL FREE TO REQUEST, BUT DONT EXPECT ANY SORT OF RESPONSE.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service - Down since Ulta is gone.
Post by: scoace13 on February 03, 2009, 08:09:52 PM
...so if someone else were to pitch in to help out then you could keep running this service right?? if so i can probably help somtimes.
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service - Down since Ulta is gone.
Post by: winkio on February 03, 2009, 08:21:10 PM
what IT is saying is that IT has left this forum, and since IT was the only one running this, its now dead.  I'm not sure if it would be more effective to try and revive this one or what...
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service - Down since Ulta is gone.
Post by: Punn on February 03, 2009, 10:24:29 PM
Unless someone as smart and somehow helpful as Ulta, stop replying, your only giving me some ideas to steal.  :evil:
Title: Re: UltaFlame's Storyline Service - Down since Ulta is gone.
Post by: Diokatsu on March 25, 2009, 12:50:04 AM
Just so people know, I'm still as active as ever. This thread shouldn't be the main place to discuss any ideas by the way. So long as you have MSN/AIM/Yahoo/Can get on IRC, I'll expect you to do just that. We can all PM each other, too. I know. I'm fucking brilliant.

I'll also expect you to TELL ME when you're on IRC, consider I'll never go on there. I doubt any of you actually care though, so Merry Christmas!

EDIT: Tell Me. Ha, I made an allusion. Wow, I'm a better writer than I even knew.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on March 28, 2009, 08:19:16 AM
/bow

I return to you all, as epic as before.

We need a snazzy banner
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Diokatsu on March 28, 2009, 07:21:25 PM
Sweet. I volunteer.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on March 29, 2009, 12:51:12 AM
show me, and we shall see if u r good nuff
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Tazero on March 29, 2009, 02:29:32 AM
(http://i41.tinypic.com/af90k5.gif)

just for ulta I'll make more like later like phsyea
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Diokatsu on March 29, 2009, 02:54:21 AM
(click to show/hide)

I'm still working on it.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on March 29, 2009, 02:58:37 AM
cool. if u could do a Flash thing with it it'd be awesome.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Diokatsu on March 29, 2009, 03:27:11 AM
Lol. I'll try.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on March 29, 2009, 03:49:53 AM
That's Awesome Meta, btw.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Reno-s--Joker on March 29, 2009, 09:23:49 AM
Hey uh... I hope I've come to the right place but I'm having trouble deciding which of the following basic plotlines I should use/ merge and use/ improve and use:

(click to show/hide)

Just to let you know I have restrictions on characterisation because I'm basing this off real people. The villain doesn't want to die in the end, for example. D: I'd be happy to answer any questions if needed.

Thanks in advance, and any helpful help is appreciated! :xD:
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Blizzard on March 29, 2009, 02:43:05 PM
Valcos is a woman.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on March 29, 2009, 05:48:00 PM
personally, I think one three and four should be combined in some way. like the evil guy convinces the good guy to do somethin bad, then vanishes, and then goog guy is banished, and along the way, several clues to an ancient battle or whatever comes out, and it's like 'Woah, we did this before.' and then towards the end the evil dude reveals what he's tryin to do is break out of a cycle. or somethin like that. like some basic fusion of 1, 3, and 4. sounds like a nice story, at the basics.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Sally on March 29, 2009, 07:40:28 PM
Valcos is a woman.

Spam?
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Starrodkirby86 on March 29, 2009, 08:03:48 PM
Valcos is a woman.

Spam?
Nah, Blizzard is suggesting to change the "Idea Man" bit because Valcos's specified gender is Female. The gender thing is pretty debatable, methinks... And it can get annoying, no?
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Diokatsu on March 29, 2009, 11:15:40 PM
I'm keeping it the same unless Valcos wants to clear things up.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Blizzard on March 29, 2009, 11:28:15 PM
(click to show/hide)

xD
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on March 30, 2009, 02:54:41 AM
Blizzard no offense to you because your awesome, but that IS a bit spammy IMO.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Valcos on March 30, 2009, 03:22:47 AM
If it makes everyone happy I'll change my gender :<_<:

personally, I think one three and four should be combined in some way. like the evil guy convinces the good guy to do somethin bad, then vanishes, and then goog guy is banished, and along the way, several clues to an ancient battle or whatever comes out, and it's like 'Woah, we did this before.' and then towards the end the evil dude reveals what he's tryin to do is break out of a cycle. or somethin like that. like some basic fusion of 1, 3, and 4. sounds like a nice story, at the basics.

...Ulta took everything I was going to say pretty much -_-".

Like, evil guy and the good guy are like close friends but, then at the same time they are at a rivalry because of their ancestors. So, the bad guy tricks the good guy to commit a serious crime and it could possibly make it seem like he has killed the bad guy but, he knows that hes not dead. He gets banished... then what Ulta said sounds good xD.
 
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Reno-s--Joker on March 30, 2009, 05:51:17 AM
Thanks so much Ulta and Valcos! :xD: You guys have just inspired an awesome storyline for me... :shifty:

Especially this...
Quote
the evil dude reveals what he's tryin to do is break out of a cycle
:D

*powers up*

@Valcos: Change your 'Idea man' title or your profile gender? :O ... Or your gender in real life? :V: Anyhow, 'Idea Man' sounds better than 'Idea Woman' in my opinion. :^_^':
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Blizzard on March 30, 2009, 01:53:06 PM
Blizzard no offense to you because your awesome, but that IS a bit spammy IMO.

It is, but there are people who get annoyed as hell when you confuse their gender. I'm just suprised that Dio (being member for a long time) doesn't know. -_-
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on March 30, 2009, 09:48:59 PM
It was my understanding that Valcos was a dude who put female as his gender on the forum for the lulz that would follow. I assume this would be one of those luls?

ANYWAY

NEW MEMBER TO THE STORYLINE SERVICE CAST!(ooh need to 'member that one)

LEGACYBLADE!! welcome on-board dude. More info in first post. lulz.


(to any who didn't know... this is the eighth topic EVER...! Epic, Yeah?)
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Tazero on April 03, 2009, 01:06:01 AM
(click to show/hide)

xD

You just gave out ,like pplz IP adresses.....

GL with this ulta...Wait luck has nothing to do with it right?
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Valcos on April 03, 2009, 05:07:28 AM
Yay! LB's on the epic team of only elite.... o.O.

And... I dont like the way the male one looks. :<_<:
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on April 05, 2009, 04:51:46 PM
No, Meta. Luck has NOTHING to do with it. only with attracting customers >.>/
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Tazero on April 16, 2009, 04:51:16 PM
Wait...I have to pay?
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on April 16, 2009, 11:06:41 PM
GRATITUDE PUNK! Yes, you gotta pay. 5 Energy plox.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on April 21, 2009, 10:36:42 PM
People don't ask for help often. However, based on the stories I've seen in most of the RMXP games out there (the ones that never get finished, especially) they really should, XD
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on April 23, 2009, 12:06:25 AM
Sal asked for my help the other day. and within half an hour she was like 'Wow, You're REALLY Good. I came out here with one idea, and now you've got me with this this, that this and... THAT!' replace the ambiguous stuff with actual stuff and it'd make sense.


I stopped checking the new projects section for good story ideas months ago.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Valcos on May 02, 2009, 04:16:01 PM
Lol... nice self advertising, very convincing.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on May 03, 2009, 03:48:39 PM
just ask her.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Valcos on May 13, 2009, 02:16:58 PM
Ulta... i pmed you.

edited.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on May 13, 2009, 09:08:55 PM
>.> no 'naughty' smiley here please. this IS a relative place of business. also, you have 1111 posts.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Tazero on June 10, 2009, 12:56:36 AM
I have a zombie game i wish to make but need serious help with the storie as i cannot get a good rhythm in the events occuring.

My topic is in the new projects section and i need help along those lines please thank you. ;')
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on June 10, 2009, 04:58:11 AM
I think the first thing you'd need to do is come up with a few ideas about the world. Particularly focus on a few of the following questions.

1. What causes the zombies to live? Why are they not dead? Is a necromancer sustaining them? Is it some blight on the land, or a curse from a god? Is it something like a disease? Or is it something else entirely?

2. What impact on the world have the zombies had? Are they terrorizing a single town, or have they ravaged and destroyed an entire city? Are they expanding outwards, going further and further from their origin, or are they staying back? Have humans been driven to near extinction, or are they doing well at stopping the zombies. If the zombies aren't hunting all over the world, instead staying in a single area, what keeps them there? Can they not get too far from whatever turned them into a zombie, or is there some sort of physical barrier?

3. How are you going to solve the zombie problem? Will you kill some dark necromancer, or have an all out battle that kills the zombies? What will the hero(s) end up doing that saves the world? Or is there no way to save it? Are they doomed?

These, I think, are very important questions. Most of the ideas I came up with are probobly cliche and overused, because I'm not very knowledgeable when it comes to zombies. But those are the kind of things you need to be asking. You'll gave to figure out other details later, such as how you're going to introduce the problem, how much you will reveal up front, and how the main character gets involved, but those should grow out of whatever you decide.

That's my few cents anyways.
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Tazero on June 10, 2009, 08:58:16 PM
Thnx Legacy I'll Respong to these soon...

EDIT: Soon is now :)


Quote
1. What causes the zombies to live? Why are they not dead? Is a necromancer sustaining them? Is it some blight on the land, or a curse from a god? Is it something like a disease? Or is it something else entirely?

They stay sustained from a Virus ; A virus that re-animates all dead cells within the brain and dying tissue within the body. Therefore bringing the dead to life with an unstable cause. This affects all life it can be transmitted sexually, Airbourne, Blood Transfusion, or by water. (A version of the T-Virus so to speak)

Quote
2. What impact on the world have the zombies had? Are they terrorizing a single town, or have they ravaged and destroyed an entire city? Are they expanding outwards, going further and further from their origin, or are they staying back? Have humans been driven to near extinction, or are they doing well at stopping the zombies. If the zombies aren't hunting all over the world, instead staying in a single area, what keeps them there? Can they not get too far from whatever turned them into a zombie, or is there some sort of physical barrier?


The zombies have taken 1/3 of the worlds population including the countries : China, South America, Mexico, Ukraine. The disease is fastly spreading thru the world making an impact on Plant life , Human Life , and Animal Life, there are no barriers they just aren't smart enough to swim or operate machinery...Yet...


Quote
3. How are you going to solve the zombie problem? Will you kill some dark necromancer, or have an all out battle that kills the zombies? What will the hero(s) end up doing that saves the world? Or is there no way to save it? Are they doomed?


There is no apparent solution from what is said other than travel with a friend , don't make friends only stay with your partner.
The Heroes are  Kye Ambrose and Arianna Sale


Quote
These, I think, are very important questions. Most of the ideas I came up with are probobly cliche and overused, because I'm not very knowledgeable when it comes to zombies. But those are the kind of things you need to be asking. You'll gave to figure out other details later, such as how you're going to introduce the problem, how much you will reveal up front, and how the main character gets involved, but those should grow out of whatever you decide.

That's my few cents anyways.
Your few cents was very helpful IMO ;) ++Level

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on June 10, 2009, 10:52:39 PM
well it's how you want it to develop. you know that one point they have 1/3 of the world. does it start so at the beginning of the game? or are things not so yet out of control? do you MIND copying a well-established series? are there major pockets of resistance, and are they eventually hoping to annihalate the zombies?
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Tazero on June 10, 2009, 11:28:44 PM
well it's how you want it to develop. you know that one point they have 1/3 of the world. does it start so at the beginning of the game? or are things not so yet out of control? do you MIND copying a well-established series? are there major pockets of resistance, and are they eventually hoping to annihalate the zombies?

I want it to start as a small 'containable' virus but breaks out becoming an international pandemic but i want to go to flash backs thru-out the game.
And the S.T.F.O.U. (Special Taskforce Operation Unit) is hoping to annahilate them but fail....
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on June 10, 2009, 11:52:22 PM
I think it should start when the main characters get left behind in the town. Start with a face paced sequence, preferably a battle before too long. Just start thinking of possibilities for your story. When it comes to openings, you want to give them a fast paced opening that is interesting, and pulls you into the story. A battle scene is particularly a good thing near the very beginning of the game. Think of how they did it in Final Fantasy 7. Avoid giving too much about the story until later. People will get that zombies == bad. Maybe you could communicate that it's transferred via bodily fluid by having one of the initial party members become infected. Use dialog in such a way that it is clear why he is transforming, but avoid "info dumping" (them having a discussion). You may want to try something like

Character A: "$@#%, some of the zombie's fluids must have entered his blood stream."
Character B: "We have to kill him. He's infected!"
Character A: "We can't just-"
Character B: "He's going to become one of them! He'll kill both of us if that happens!"
Character A: "But..."
Character B: *destroy zombifying body*

You should tweak that kind of a scene to reveal something about the characters involved. This gives us the knowledge that the infection turns people into zombies, and is transferred via bodily fluid. Scenes like this are more effective at setting up the world than exposition. Once the story gets going, and the audience is interesting, we can get more detail. The flashbacks should wait until we get a solid grounding in the game's "present".

Also, I think it would be kinda cool if one of the main characters was infected, but somehow managed to counter it before he became a full zombie. That way he'd have some zombie like abilities, but maintain his sentience and humanity. This would also make him a perfect zombie slayer, since he couldn't be further effected by the virus. Maybe at some point, you could have his cure/counter start to weaken, and the zombie side of him begins to get stronger.

Just tossing out ideas that came to me, I like brainstorming worldbuilding possibilities. I think you should keep the virus transferred via bodily fluids, as it would feel even MORE like I Am Legend if you didn't. Also, it would make for an interesting scinario if you have one of the characters get partially infected. Especially if there is a romance subplot going on involving that character ^_~
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: Tazero on June 11, 2009, 12:48:29 AM
Damn... I wish I could think like that....Thans LB ++Level+plus
*goes to Notepad"Have at-chya! script!"*

EDIT::
Dead March
Quarantine


James: "Damn it! I've been ... Ugh! Bit..."
Kye: "We have to kill him."
Arianna: "We can't just Kill him"
Kye: "He's going to become one of them! He'll kill both of us if we let him live!"
James: "He's Right...I'm willing to die for the sake of your life...Sis"
Kye: "I hope you understand I have no pleasure in losing a partner."
James: "It's fi-"
Kye: "Shit!"
Arianna: "James!"
Kye: "Arianna! stand back!"
*Black screen...* *5 frames later* *Gunshot*
*sad instrumental*
A month before...
Kye: "Arianna ... Arianna , wake up"
Arianna: "I'm awake anything coming?"
Kye: "No..."
James: "Finally awake you two?"
Kye & Arianna: "Where were you?"
James: "Getting familiar with my surroundings..."
Later that morning....

???: *Screech*
Battle sequence(Blizz abs)

Good start?
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on June 11, 2009, 02:50:09 AM
I just have a lot of practice meta, that's all it takes. Lot's and lots of practice putting off homework :P

I think you should have a battle before that, where the player gets to fight. Don't enable spells, or any features other than attack and move (if you're using an ABS). Tell them how to move and attack, then let them fight zombies, then have a  scene like that. If the main story is going to start a month before (as in, you play from the 6 months ago to the zombie biting scene), then flash back to it like that. It promises intense action to come, and gives us a taste of the story. However, if the main story of the game is set just after that zombie biting scene, keep going from there, THEN do flashbacks after there's been some gameplay and plot advancement. We need to know why we should identify with and care about your characters before we're willing to watch cutscenes about their backstory. Set up the "main quest", let us get to know the characters a bit, THEN show us flashbacks. It will give the story a faster, more upbeat pace. It'll also put you ahead of the majority of video games in terms of story.

Well that's my opinion anyways. I'm still an amateur just like the rest of us. It's your project, so do whatever you like better.

P.S. Yay, I got a level up. Woot for story based XP awards :P
Title: Re: The Revived Storyline Service. Ulta's Epic Stories.
Post by: scoace13 on June 11, 2009, 02:59:28 AM
storyline: _____has lived all his life as a test subject. He was told it was  because he is "special" which is why no one will ever care about him. then one day before a series of experimentations he finds someone who is kind to him, shortly after showing off his differences something happens and the lab falls apart. he awakens in a forest with know idea where he is only remembering the words spoken to him in a dream. from the forest he is taken to a hospital where he is reunited with the person who was kind  to him. After a short talk about the times and what happen back at the lab he finds out that he has awoken several years after the incident and that almost everyone involved with the experiments had been arrested and sent to prison. after seeing that he has no place to go the kind person takes him in.

Later he falls asleep and when he awakens he is inside of surreal realm that he call The Dream a place with no laws of nature surrounding is physical behavior.  here he meets a young child who is crying because Death killed her mother. the boy after a debate of conscious sets off after Death. on his quest to find death  he is attack by an unknown force and knocked unconcious. when he comes to he is at the camp of a man named D. who then inconversation reveals that he is Death and that he kills only because of a mysterious power that directs him at all times unless he does kill people. end of chapter 1 and what i have at the moment. 

this need work and a lot of it I know this is all i can come up with but when written out thats probably less than 20 total (even though this is a small part of the story whole story which still needs finishing) heres the main plot for  the game as a refrance:Plot:After having been experimented on and tortured for all of his life _________ finally escapes and now tries to find the true meaning of freedom amidst a turbulent world.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on June 11, 2009, 05:45:16 AM
we need an official 'USS: ES' banner. Ulta's Storyline Service: Epic Stories.

not story-capable atm, so will work on tomorrow or something.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Diokatsu on June 11, 2009, 05:53:46 AM
we need an official 'USS: ES' banner. Ulta's Storyline Service: Epic Stories.

not story-capable atm, so will work on tomorrow or something.

I might work on it.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on June 14, 2009, 06:25:18 PM
here's an idea for anyone who cares: make a world inside a drawing. have the character's sprites, and even the world, be drawn, and colored in with colored pencils. good for the artistic person. bad for impatient one. I'd pay money for a game like that.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: scoace13 on June 14, 2009, 07:03:53 PM
...i still need some help with my storyline.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on June 14, 2009, 07:04:47 PM
nobody got on that yet? I suppose I will... TO THE PM LIST!
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: GAX on June 15, 2009, 01:36:26 AM
here's an idea for anyone who cares: make a world inside a drawing. have the character's sprites, and even the world, be drawn, and colored in with colored pencils. good for the artistic person. bad for impatient one. I'd pay money for a game like that.

Huh...honestly this idea is pretty neat...if I didn't already have a ton of projects in the works, I'd probably work on this if I didn't already have a ton of projects...

How about that each zone in the game takes place in different types of artworks...start off with simple drawings but then you go into different styles?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Valcos on June 15, 2009, 03:13:46 AM
Huh...honestly this idea is pretty neat...if I didn't already have a ton of projects in the works, I'd probably work on this if I didn't already have a ton of projects...

Something doesnt seem right :huh:.

here's an idea for anyone who cares: make a world inside a drawing. have the character's sprites, and even the world, be drawn, and colored in with colored pencils. good for the artistic person. bad for impatient one. I'd pay money for a game like that.

How about that each zone in the game takes place in different types of artworks...start off with simple drawings but then you go into different styles?

And, actually... that sounds real sick. Not sure what the actual storyline would be to a game like that. But, it be cool xD. Id draw the crappy style of drawings  :V:
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on June 15, 2009, 03:42:01 AM
start with stick figures, evolve into full on epic drawings later. it'd be interesting. you'd see your character become a stick figure, and then become a fully drawn character with a personality. it'd be fun.

EDIT: for this idea, I should thank Aqua. the reason why is for me alone.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Valcos on June 15, 2009, 03:49:57 AM
Pretty sure this could be done in a 10 minute clip on flash or something? :huh:

Only if i knew how to draw -_-"
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on June 15, 2009, 08:46:02 PM
I'm saying like a full blown RPG done in this style. it'd be AMAZINGLY hard.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: GAX on June 15, 2009, 09:46:33 PM
It could be pretty fun, even have the play style really change around depending on the artwork (such as the stick figure part could be a side-scroller or something), but more detailed parts would use the default RMXP engine.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on June 15, 2009, 10:14:10 PM
yeah. I'd love to see it get done. maybe we could get a bunch of ideas together and send it to a company like nintendo or somethin, and see if it'll eventually come out.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on June 21, 2009, 09:25:37 AM
Did anyone help Scoace?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on June 21, 2009, 05:27:19 PM
I did. he sent me a pm and when I saw nobody doin naythin for a few days I sent him some ideas.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on June 21, 2009, 07:13:56 PM
k, just thought I'd make sure
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on June 21, 2009, 07:15:31 PM
yeah, that's always a good thing to do.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Valcos on June 21, 2009, 07:18:57 PM
yeah. I'd love to see it get done. maybe we could get a bunch of ideas together and send it to a company like nintendo or somethin, and see if it'll eventually come out.

Lol... wouldn't you need to make an example game or something? Or do they just take in random ideas? :huh:
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on June 21, 2009, 07:19:39 PM
I wouldn't know, I've never bothered to do research to send somethin to them.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Arkaea Halfdemon on June 23, 2009, 12:36:04 PM
Well, if UltaFlame isn't going to be around, then I'll try my hand at the job. I'm a former member of the Service, after all. And that was when I was thirteen. Imagine how much better my ideas will be now!

So, hit me with your best shot. 8)


*Takes over the thread in a revolution*
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Blizzard on June 23, 2009, 12:39:28 PM
Sure thing. Just because on member doesn't participate, doesn't mean the rest can't go on. xD
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Diokatsu on June 23, 2009, 02:20:24 PM
Well, if UltaFlame isn't going to be around, then I'll try my hand at the job. I'm a former member of the Service, after all. And that was when I was thirteen. Imagine how much better my ideas will be now!

So, hit me with your best shot. 8)


*Takes over the thread in a revolution*
Woah. I claim this thread >8U No noob is gonna walk all up on my turf and tell me what to do! Seeing as I am Ulta's incarnated, socially adept form, I win >8U.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Arkaea Halfdemon on June 23, 2009, 09:26:12 PM
*Pulls out a cheaply crafted imitation Masamune*

 :ninja:

Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Blizzard on June 23, 2009, 09:39:07 PM
Please stop spamming this thread.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Subsonic_Noise on July 02, 2009, 07:29:54 PM
Well I need help on the story of my game Dystopia. The problem is: the main story needs to stay secret.
So, anybody's got MSN?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on July 02, 2009, 07:32:46 PM
I have MSN, but I'd prefer doing this via PM. send me a PM if you want my help.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Subsonic_Noise on July 03, 2009, 06:39:34 PM
I have MSN, but I'd prefer doing this via PM. send me a PM if you want my help.
I spammed your PM Inbox. So, could you help?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on July 03, 2009, 07:24:11 PM
received PMs, will help soon.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: C.C. rOyAl on July 18, 2009, 08:15:30 PM
hey ive got a really good project goin but... i dont have a middle!!  :P
all i can think of is a beginning and end. can anyone help me?
im tryin to have a game with 25+ hours. yess im aware its gonna take a lot of work but im up for it.
i would rather you pm me for secrecy. thanks
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Starrodkirby86 on July 19, 2009, 08:26:40 AM
General help, just passing through, don't mind me~

If you have a beginning and end, then all you need to do is think of enough interesting twists and such to engross the player. It's best to make mistakes around here (If you are), especially the build-up to the climax, since if the player is already going through this much, they must have /some/ interest (except reviewers).

Think of plot twists and aim for character development. Make your middle build up to the story's climax.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: C.C. rOyAl on July 19, 2009, 10:55:52 AM
ya im always on this forum, it fricken owns rmxp.org and rpgrevolution. You gets such a quick response and everyone pretty much knows everyone if their active a decent amount of time. but i hav a friend helpin with storyline now. im just no good of plot twists
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Valcos on July 19, 2009, 06:08:43 PM
If you want, you could send me the part of the story you have now. I'll read it over and we could bounce some ideas off each other or something (sounds kind of weird xD)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: BlackStatic on July 29, 2009, 05:01:54 AM
Uhhh, is this thread 'hiring' still? I'm a rather good writer, who mostly deals with darker stories. End of the world, Zombie apocalypses, Demons, Ghosts, Hauntings. I'm also pretty good at creating histories for the stories, and character development. I can think up multiple stories taking place in the same world, branching stories(for more 'open ended' games), and like to add in humor to offset the dark atmosphere. hopefully this thread is still hiring, because i'd hate to be wasting my words right now. lol
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Subsonic_Noise on August 01, 2009, 02:57:40 PM
Uhhh, is this thread 'hiring' still? I'm a rather good writer, who mostly deals with darker stories. End of the world, Zombie apocalypses, Demons, Ghosts, Hauntings. I'm also pretty good at creating histories for the stories, and character development. I can think up multiple stories taking place in the same world, branching stories(for more 'open ended' games), and like to add in humor to offset the dark atmosphere. hopefully this thread is still hiring, because i'd hate to be wasting my words right now. lol
Let's see... Ulta is banned, Diokatsu is gone, I haven't seen Arkaea for a while... It's your thread XDDD
:V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: BlackStatic on August 01, 2009, 05:02:52 PM
Uhhh, is this thread 'hiring' still? I'm a rather good writer, who mostly deals with darker stories. End of the world, Zombie apocalypses, Demons, Ghosts, Hauntings. I'm also pretty good at creating histories for the stories, and character development. I can think up multiple stories taking place in the same world, branching stories(for more 'open ended' games), and like to add in humor to offset the dark atmosphere. hopefully this thread is still hiring, because i'd hate to be wasting my words right now. lol
Let's see... Ulta is banned, Diokatsu is gone, I haven't seen Arkaea for a while... It's your thread XDDD
:V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V
Gasp! REALLY??? lol, well, I guess just PM me or something if you need ideas or something. :D
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Subsonic_Noise on August 01, 2009, 06:26:34 PM
Uhhh, is this thread 'hiring' still? I'm a rather good writer, who mostly deals with darker stories. End of the world, Zombie apocalypses, Demons, Ghosts, Hauntings. I'm also pretty good at creating histories for the stories, and character development. I can think up multiple stories taking place in the same world, branching stories(for more 'open ended' games), and like to add in humor to offset the dark atmosphere. hopefully this thread is still hiring, because i'd hate to be wasting my words right now. lol
Let's see... Ulta is banned, Diokatsu is gone, I haven't seen Arkaea for a while... It's your thread XDDD
:V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V
Gasp! REALLY??? lol, well, I guess just PM me or something if you need ideas or something. :D
I don't know about legacyblade and Valcos though... But finders keepers. XDD
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: BlackStatic on August 02, 2009, 02:59:35 AM
Sooo, should I start my own thread? or add to this?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Subsonic_Noise on August 02, 2009, 08:03:41 PM
Just add to this. If somebody comes by and says that this is his thread, you can still kill him.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: winkio on August 02, 2009, 08:13:44 PM
1.  Yes, this is the appropriate place if you want to help with stories.  I think legacyblade might be in charge here maybe.
2.  You can also feel free to start your own thread if you want to be separate.
3.  Off topic == FTL.  Even in a dead thread.  It's not in SPAM yet, which means stay on topic and keep it serious.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Xuroth on August 29, 2009, 05:01:55 AM
Ok, dont kill me if this thread is too dead to post in, but I really dont care. I have been working on a storyline for the past couple weeks, but I think I just have a way too high opinion of it due to the fact I wrote it (runon anyone?). My request is this:
1. I want a review of the story as it stands
2. I want feedback about the story (positive and negative)
3. I want suggestions (not just random filler) to lengthen the story to make a longer game

You up to it? Of course you are...

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: scoace13 on August 29, 2009, 05:03:53 PM
... ok this story jumps around a lot...a lot. to help you with this i need to find some things out (u can pm them to me). A) What is the Pit? Where did it come from? Who or what made the demons in the pit? B) summoning? How is it possible? Can only certain people do it or just any one is they try hard enough? C)who are:" the girl", "the boy", "the girls mother", "agyrus" ,ect. ? Why are they doing what their doing( stuff like why the girl wants to seek out her mother, and things of that nature that you dont mention) D) What time is this in? What happening in the world? Where and what is the world that they live in( aka are they on earth or some planet in a galaxy far far away)?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Xuroth on August 29, 2009, 08:39:11 PM
I PM'd you with most of the details you asked for....
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Starrodkirby86 on August 30, 2009, 04:44:58 PM
Hello. I'm not part of the staff here...but screw that. oxo

First of all, I understand how difficult it is to condense a whole story and its own unique perks into a few paragraphs. You simply can't explain so much plot in so little.

Anyway, let's see what I can do with this story...

1) Sure, it's working out nicely. Whee. You have your whole conflict, Alyra wanting to meet her mother again but then gets confronted by Agyrus...or something like that. It gets solved, that's good. ...I might as well just get into the feedback.

2) Try taking this test for Alyra and see what she gets. http://www.springhole.net/quizzes/marysue.htm Answer honestly. If she has high points, then you may want to consider making her less perfect.

Quote
She is attacked by the demon and a boy from a neighboring village is chasing it. ... The girl is now convinced that her mother is imprisoned in the Pit
How does the demon saying Mommy's name make Alyra know about her mom's whereabouts? Perhaps we need to learn more about "The Pit", especially how does Alyra know it. Is she the owner of it or something? :V:

You do realize that main characters having similar names isn't a good thing, right? I mean, it's going to be a pain to remember if the characters' names were John, Jun, Jan, and Joe or something, wouldn't it? :s In your case all the characters have "A" as their first letter, as you mentioned before.

The only real plot twist in this story is a disappointment. Oh...she's a demon, eh? It's typical story stuff, unfortunately. I'm not saying in particular that you should change it to something else, but I'm saying that I was looking for something more. OK, maybe her mother dying was a good plot point, but...regardless.

What ever happened to Aeravyn? Does he, like, start fapping in bed waiting for Alyra to come back? :V: (No seriously, what happened to him after the climax of this story?)

Quote
While loved deeply by those she names her parents, most people feel uncomfortable around, though nothing seems to cause this feeling but her mere presence. Alyra, the girl, becomes ill. One day, she is angry at some children (younger than she anyway) and wishes they would learn to just behave. In her immense anger, she unknowingly summons a wolf demon. The demon brutally slaughters the children, but is fought off by the villagers. None blame ALyra, for they do not realize it was her fault.
So what do they do? Say the Wolf Demon stepped in on his merry way trying to find red-hooded girls children to eat? Just sayin', bro.

3) If you to make the story longer, have some episodes that each establish something for the bigger picture. For example, have a moment with Alyra and Aeravyn together and show off some character or some hot relationship action.  :naughty: That's how you can make random filler worth something. You simply make it relate to the big picture by giving the player some new knowledge about the characters or  the history of this place.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Xuroth on August 31, 2009, 01:59:14 AM
Yes, I do realize the naming conventions require work. These names are actually just "placeholder" names used from characters in other stories I made. I will most likely change most names, but Alyra. I do like that name...

Plot... I will admit, it's lacking. I only created the storyline in a few minutes, and I had many issues trying to make the story work. It still doesn't work... but unfortunately, I have an obsession with seeing stories come to an end. (Man, I wish WoT had gotten finished). I scored a lucky, but disappointing score of 69 in that Mary-Sue Litmus test. I need to redesign the characters, but I want to avoid having characters designed for the world, and vice versa.

The demon, when mentioning Alyra's mother is a little more informed of the mother's whereabouts. She happens to be a demon hunter in vengeance for being raped by a half demon. She feels that no person should have their lives destroyed by such beasts. Thus, the demon Alyra fights mentions that her mother is imprisoned in the Pit (again, name to be changed). Most people know of the Pit, but fear it because of the unholy denizens that reside there. (think Hell from modern religion, with a few twists (cliche *cough).

as for the only plot twist being "ZOMG IM PART DEMON!!!!!", I tried (and failed) to make that point not as critical to the overall story. Seeing as how she requires her powers to conquer Agyrus, the whole point was a failure in itself. I need to rework this whole "rising action" part to include more twists, incorporate other character's stories into the storyline (to provide motivation, and to add to the overall story (plus extra filler)).

As for the other characters, when the older gentleman is hosting the demonic seance, Alyra goes into the portal (used for summoning the imp) and to save her (and cuz he doesnt want a potential bed buddy to die) Aeravyn enters after her. The friends, long time friends of Aeravyn (just dont see him everyday, however) are trying to snap Aeravyn out of his infatuation with Alyra. Seeing him do something as reckless as diving into a portal to "*Hell*" to protect a girl who (likely) caused the death of his brother(Aeravyn's), freaks them out a little. Their friend needs to be saved, though these two are weaker than Aeravyn and Alyra (city-folk... dont do very much demon slaying or monster hunting), they decide to go to provide backup to Aeravyn (and to convince him he's nuts and has his priorities mixed up)

Overall, this story needs a lot of work and is not even close to being the *whole* story. ( I have more events before, during and after I am thinking about. I will likely add them to expand the story, give a little more background, and provide some ground so players/viewers can understand "why did that good guy just go to hell for some girl he's got the hots for?" (especially seeing as how that is only sideline action at this point. Aeravyn has a few other reasons, all of them much better...).)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: scoace13 on August 31, 2009, 04:38:49 PM
Ok so in reviewing your story  I have to say first off (and quite often) that it lacks support and motivation, as in I feel no reason to want to make it to the end,  there’s just not much driving force there in the story.  Taking away form the driving force that I mentioned  is 1) the cliché,  2) lack of a real climax,  3)minor clarity issues 4) major unanswered questions about the history and  connections between characters,  5)lack of character development, and 6) lack of connectivity to the reader/player.  Ok so to start from the top of the list.  

1)
(click to show/hide)
2)
(click to show/hide)
3)
(click to show/hide)
4)
(click to show/hide)
still in progress finishing it.

Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Xuroth on September 01, 2009, 06:20:13 PM
While I feel this story has potential, I will think of it more as a learning experience. I will completely overhaul the story (it wont be anything like it is, mainly because I feel the story itself is too weak. with improvements, however it could be a good storyline.) I want to redesign the characters, and the setting. and think of a real plot... I have some friends coming over who are going to help me brainstorm some more ideas... I thank you scoace13 and SRK for your time and your responses. The next story I post here will be a major improvement. (probably just start my own topic about it...) Thanks again for your help; Im going to keep your guys' advice in mind during the rewrite.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: scoace13 on September 15, 2009, 05:59:40 PM
ill try to help...send me what you got and ill see what i can do
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: arisenhorizen on December 07, 2009, 05:54:14 PM
Well, I guess this topic isn't very active right now.

But if anyone needs any help, I'll be glad to lend a hand (Although I'm not very good in it). ;)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Zare on January 04, 2010, 04:22:48 AM
Great Topic! I have a story, even for my chars, but the problem is, that it's in german, this is a bad translation of me i just made^^So please gimme your opinion and tipps and help me how i could go on^^
So here we go:

(click to show/hide)

(click to show/hide)

So here the chars:

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Daxisheart on January 04, 2010, 05:27:15 AM
Well, for one, the names seem like a obvious mix of latin-based fantasy crpg names and japanese, which can be good or bad... but here, I'm reading a english-like name and then suddenly there's Azora nakaro... Might try to think about that.

Your prologue goes all over the place with lots of wtf's. I mean, why is the thunder god the only one allowed to the world, what are all these relations and all these sudden names WITHOUT explanations. I got lost and had to reread it over twice(might be because of the translation).

Your last spoiler should be worked out, made more legible. Please explain the role of the characters in the story, because they just seem to be character's you'll meet.


Anyways, the story seems to be an okay FF fan-based game, although I think it would really help to get a translation, from where more criticism and comprehension can be wrought.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Zare on January 04, 2010, 01:11:52 PM
Yeah the translation isn't the best, it was about 4 in the morning xD I am thinkin about to make a whole new story with these chars, game in english, nothing about gods. But I have not that much ideas, i need really much help xD and the japanese names and english names I thought it would be good, because of the different regions in Exaroth^^ So a whole new story would be great^^ A story that also makes sense...#

thx for reading and helping me Daxisheart

EDIT: So i have a few ideas, maybe someone could help me making a good story of these and my chars. But please do this through MSN: Kauvin@hotmail.de, icq 311501713 or PM. Of course you will also be credited in my game for the main part of the story!! So here the ideas:
-there should be an organisation with different bad guys
-the story should be about different kingdoms ruled by kings
-probably the story should be about a conflict between these kingdoms
-and last but not least: it is not really a FF fan game, so it has not to be like every FF game! But the time, in which the story takes place is like in FF games - influenced of past but also of future elements.

So please PM me or write through icq or msn, I would really appreciate your help^^  :-* xD

if you add me in msn or icq, please pm me even then to tell me, that you did^^ because i use trillian and sometimes he doesn't add friends to my list... as just right now. someone added me, if that was someone from here, please add me again^^ or write a message! ty

EDIT: Ok thx to Diokatsu for helping me^^
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: fthmdg on January 24, 2010, 06:36:25 PM
I've got a story that could use some work, and specifically some characters :p

here's what ive got so far

Story ::
(click to show/hide)

Ideas ::
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Fallen Angel X on January 25, 2010, 01:25:39 AM
Kay. I'll give this a shot. Don't mind my noobiness, though.

So, I take it the characters have some hand in diplomacy or is that just completely lampshaded? Are you intending there to be an actual war? If yes, is the game centered around the war? It's too basic for me to actually formulate this w/o further details. Sooo, either I get some answers or you try another person ^_^'
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: fthmdg on January 25, 2010, 05:31:17 AM
Ehh, not a fullblown war in the beginning, but more of an escalation that will lead to war in the future. So in this game, no there's not an actual war. Just a lot of tension and battles, but no proclamation of war.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Fallen Angel X on January 27, 2010, 05:41:12 AM
kay, I gotcha. So what exactly are the character motivations? What are they aiming to do in this conflict? Are they trying to profit from it, stop it, just getting pulled into it? You have a base idea but it's still not much of a concept for a game. I think you should try developing it a bit more. Mainly because you haven't set in a purpose for each individual playable character. Do that and then you can start planning everything in the middle.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: fthmdg on January 27, 2010, 07:01:18 AM
kay, I gotcha. So what exactly are the character motivations? What are they aiming to do in this conflict? Are they trying to profit from it, stop it, just getting pulled into it? You have a base idea but it's still not much of a concept for a game. I think you should try developing it a bit more. Mainly because you haven't set in a purpose for each individual playable character. Do that and then you can start planning everything in the middle.

Well the stone [may get changed to some sort of artifact/relic] is something of great magical power, as said earlier. But since its natural magic, the only people that can harness this power are the elves, though the stone is in the possession of the dwarves. So for the dwarves, they want to figure out some way get the elves to help them, but the elves want the stone for themselves. The humans side with the elves, because they know they will benefit from the elves having it since their allies, and same with the orcs to the dwarves.

Does that make sense?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: SwiftDeathSK on February 25, 2010, 02:43:04 AM
I'm looking for some help coming up with parts of my game's plot. There isn't too much to do, since it's a smaller sized game, but I'm a bit stuck in terms of getting from the start to the finish.

However, I don't want to announce it on here, for personal reasons, so if anyone would be willing to help via MSN or PM, could you please let me know?

PS: it's a comedy inspired by South Park, so I need someone creative that can come up with some crazy and funny situations. There's no fighting either, so all situations need to be solvable with puzzles, if that helps.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: WhiteRose on February 25, 2010, 02:46:24 AM
I'd love to give you a hand. I'll send you a PM with my MSN in a couple minutes. (Or you could just go stalker-ifically get it from my profile.)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Diokatsu on March 16, 2010, 04:49:44 AM
Wow this place actually exists.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on March 25, 2010, 04:33:57 AM
I think it died though.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Fantasist on March 25, 2010, 02:21:36 PM
Indeed. I was a member once, you know ._.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on March 25, 2010, 09:09:35 PM
I'm thinking about restarting this. But I'd need to make a new topic so that I could actually edit the first post :P
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: winkio on March 25, 2010, 10:49:04 PM
Or ask blizz to extend your mod powers
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on March 25, 2010, 10:53:27 PM
That'd take more typing though :P
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on May 16, 2010, 05:59:03 AM
Just add to this. If somebody comes by and says that this is his thread, you can still kill him.

*brutally assaults anyone tryin' to stop my takin' this over again*

That'd take more typing though :P

But what would take even LESS typing would be to let ME have it back.

So. First new order of business.

I would like anyone who still is interested in helping to tell me so's I can add them to the list.

On Wednesday I'm going to go back to the first post and erase anyone who hasn't posted telling me to put them there yet.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Diokatsu on May 16, 2010, 06:00:49 AM
Now that I have no classes basically, I'll help.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: prioran on May 19, 2010, 02:58:41 PM
I'd be willing to help out with this. It's the least I could do after pestering you guys for scripts.  :P
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Lethal-Yarn on May 19, 2010, 05:40:58 PM
With finals ending soon, I want an idea for a short game that's going to be a BlizzABS-example game (though I suppose if I really like it, it could branch into a decently sized game).

I'm not really looking for a long epic or anything.  There's only a few specific things I want.

1) Main protagonist is female.  Young adult and inexperienced.
2) I want it to be a "Dungeon Crawler" type of game.  But in this short game, it would only be one or two "dungeons" where she has to adventure to. It would be slightly zelda-esque where there are rooms with puzzles and she needs to collect keys and items to further along her adventure (like boomerang for out of reach objects, bombs to destroy cracked walls).

What I really need is a motivation, and whatever her goal would be.  She could be an explorer, a thief, or someone who's trying to find the magic item of ultimate awesomeness for whatever plot demands it.

Just a short, interesting, and to the point sort of game.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on May 20, 2010, 12:32:11 AM
Maia is a young adventurer with an odd hair color. She's relatively unknown throughout the land, but her dream is to become famous. In a world where even the vegetation wants to eat you, people have thrived by creating close-knit communities where everybody knows everyone, but Maia was always too adventurous to let such a small civilization hold her down. So she went to a more bustling city, where she learned of a special program. This was called the 'Adventurer's Set Program' and utilized magic in brave new ways. People who were born without the gift of magic, like Maia, were being infused with magical properties. Interested, the soon-to-be adventurer joined this program. One of the many, she was assigned to a group, and that's where we see her now.

Intel: ASP has identified the location of a mass hive of rapidly evolving bug-like creatures. Apparently, they are symbiotic with the local flora, and Maia's squad is assigned to assault this locale. They are to attack anything indiscriminately, and retrieve samples of the local fauna and plant life. Of particular note is anything from apparent leaders of the creatures. Good luck, and come back alive.

That's the first dungeon.

Intel: After analyzing the information retrieved by the several squads sent out to the recently named 'Firezones,' ASP researchers have discovered the location of a store of naturally occurring magic. It is in humanity's best interest to gain control over this well, before it is absorbed by the flora and fauna of the world. A worldwide rapid evolution would upset the natural order, and likely bring humanity to its knees. Maia's group will be one of many groups going out. You all will report under Sergeant Tucker. You have your orders. Adventurers, set out.

Groups: Typically organized in groups of four. They are organized so as to not have any individual leader. Whichever Adventurer is best suited to a task is likely to be the one deferred to in any given situation. Some groups have three Adventurers and a magister in their numbers.

Adventurers: A group of people experimented on during the 'Adventurer's Set Program,' they have quicker reaction time than the normal human being, are more capable of hand-to-hand combat, and occasionally very handy with ranged weaponry such as bows and crossbows. Side-effects of the Program are unknown, if there are any. The Program is relatively new, only having gone on for the past few years, and the loss of Adventurers has occurred only in the field. Reports in every case indicate reasonable causes of death - examples include goring by a bull-like creature, loss of limbs after being partially digested by a particularly overgrown plant.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: WhiteRose on May 20, 2010, 12:35:27 AM
Maia is a young adventurer with an odd hair color.

Why do all characters you come up with have unusually colored hair?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on May 20, 2010, 12:38:11 AM
Heh. They don't ALWAYS.

Though it's probably anime influencing me, despite how I haven't watched any in months.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Lethal-Yarn on May 20, 2010, 02:58:10 AM
@UltaFlame: Thank you very much, I appreciate it.  It sounds like a nice basis for a good BABS example game.  If you don't mind me also asking, could you just make up a short description for each of Maia's teammates?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on May 20, 2010, 03:13:20 AM
Hmm, sure.

Malcolm: A dark skinned veteran adventurer, he prefers up-in-the-enemy's-face tactics. An intelligent, respectable person who, though he promotes violence, usually only acts on it in retaliation. Don't expect him to go charging blindly into a situation. In combat, likes to use either a heavy bludgeoning tool, or swift weapons to make the enemy bleed.

Michael: An average, nondescript man. Prefers staying back with a crossbow, but is also known to be skilled with staves of many varieties. Sort of the snarker of the group. Sarcastic, but he keeps a level head in tough situations. All around a dependable guy, but also something of a womanizer.

Quara: a latino girl. Flirts as a joke, and deals with stress by getting angry and blowing things up. A mage in the ASP, she is the party healer and mage. She's also businesslike and is usually the one who takes charge. She often gets frustrated with Michael due to his womanizing personality and sarcasm. One would think they'd get along, both being flirts...
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Diokatsu on May 23, 2010, 02:32:38 AM
I don't see how people come here and expect the type of help that Ulta just gave to Lethal-Yarn and can still think of calling the story their own. Even if you cite Ulta or any of us as a source, we've essentially written the story for you.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Fallen Angel X on May 23, 2010, 03:30:42 AM
It depends. It might just be a bounce back session where we bounce our ideas off another person. People aren't always expecting help like this. Not to mention, this is most likely a prototype story. It'll be subject to change. So it's fair to take some credit for it.... assuming it does change.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Lethal-Yarn on May 23, 2010, 05:44:43 AM
@Dio:  Well, two things.

1. I didn't really care about a story for this particular game.  This is mostly the game I'm making to get the hang of BlizzABS.  It's more of one of those (short) games where you get a short amount of story at the start, then gameplay-gameplay-gameplay.

2. It's not like I'm 100% using all of Ulta's ideas, I think of it as a base of maybe how I should do things.  Even for this particular one where story isn't going to mean much, it gives me a direction at the very least.  Am I going to use everything I was given?  Most likely not.  Plus it's not like I'm going to say it's *my* story.

BUT that's not to say I wouldn't cite my sources.  And I wouldn't pretend I made it up (unless I made a shitload of changes and it becomes a whole different concept, but even then I would still credit).  But still, look at how much Ulta has given me.

A barebones structure of a story of person who enlists in a group that tracks down supernatural situations in the world.  Very vague concepts of the four main characters involved (the main character is a girl of different hair who loves adventure).  Assuming I don't change any of Ulta's idea, that's still a lot I'd have to think up of my own, anyway.


Anyway, that's my two cents about it.  Just in case you wanted to know my motivation for doing such a thing (even though I'm sure you probably don't care :P)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Diokatsu on May 23, 2010, 06:03:55 AM
I'm not critiquing you, I'm critiquing Ulta. So, yes, I don't care.

And even so, I'm not a believer in using other people's ideas, even vaguely, unless the purpose is parody or criticism. To incorporate the ideas for inspiration or even for background just says to me that you aren't cut out to make a game in the first place. Maybe I'm just better than everyone else though.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on May 23, 2010, 06:13:36 AM
yay, less typing. I'll still help. I'd prefer PM. And I won't chew anyone out this time :P (sorry whoever it was I asploaded at, I'd just gotten dumped)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Lethal-Yarn on May 23, 2010, 06:14:01 AM
Fair enough :)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Fallen Angel X on May 23, 2010, 06:24:01 AM
I'm not critiquing you, I'm critiquing Ulta. So, yes, I don't care.

And even so, I'm not a believer in using other people's ideas, even vaguely, unless the purpose is parody or criticism. To incorporate the ideas for inspiration or even for background just says to me that you aren't cut out to make a game in the first place. Maybe I'm just better than everyone else though.

*cough*Load of bullshit*cough*

Lol, cmon, really dio? You make yourself sound like a major jerkass. Games are usually team projects so incorporating some ideas is completely acceptable. You can't go around saying crap like that just because he asks for help, lol. /ego
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Diokatsu on May 23, 2010, 06:26:35 AM
I'm not critiquing you, I'm critiquing Ulta. So, yes, I don't care.

And even so, I'm not a believer in using other people's ideas, even vaguely, unless the purpose is parody or criticism. To incorporate the ideas for inspiration or even for background just says to me that you aren't cut out to make a game in the first place. Maybe I'm just better than everyone else though.

*cough*Load of bullshit*cough*

Lol, cmon, really dio? You make yourself sound like a major jerkass. Games are usually team projects so incorporating some ideas is completely acceptable. You can't go around saying crap like that just because he asks for help, lol. /ego

Because RMXP team games always come out great. Oh, wait, that's right, they don't come out at all. The last good game I played was Namk's and he's a pretty original guy. And, I'm quite sorry that I'm just better from a creative standpoint than you are, but you have no reason to get frustrated with me.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on May 23, 2010, 06:34:49 AM
He didn't say RMXP games, Dio, he said games. And yes, most of them are made by a team. Even RMXP games often use graphics created by other people, or at least the RTP. That could be called a team :P

Besides, lethal yarn isn't making a story heavy game. The story seems about as important to his game as (what I've heard) stories in porn. When I help someone, I usually just ask them questions about things, and occasionally offer a few possible routes to go in creating the basic situation. Besides, even if the concept and characters were made for you, you have to WRITE the story. Like fanfiction. It's not a good concept that makes a story, it's good writing and presentation. A BAD concept will hurt it, but I've read plenty of stories with amazingly awesome and epic premises with great characters. But it fell through on the actual writing.

So to sum it up: who cares :P
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Lethal-Yarn on May 23, 2010, 06:40:42 AM
Quote
Besides, lethal yarn isn't making a story heavy game. The story seems about as important to his game as (what I've heard) stories in porn.
Haha, that's an awesome comparison.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Diokatsu on May 23, 2010, 06:57:45 AM
You should realize that's you're all fucking retarded for going along with the premise that I was actually trying to make a point in the first place.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on May 23, 2010, 06:59:31 AM
You should realize you're retarded for thinking I was actually doing anything other than arguing because I was bored :P

Honestly, why else would I bring porn into it? I was bored :P
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Diokatsu on May 23, 2010, 08:17:32 AM
Isn't it funny how everyone seems to be doing the exact same thing I'm doing in response to me? That always seems to happen.

You might want to learn to give better indicators, since your diction is bad for trolling. In short, you're a bad writer.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: winkio on May 23, 2010, 08:18:43 AM
You sir, fail for still posting in this thread.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on May 23, 2010, 08:21:32 AM
Dio, You're a good person and all and I'ma let you finish, but get the hell out of my thread unless you have a reason to be here >:U
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on May 23, 2010, 11:02:38 PM
Dio, people do that to mock you. Imitation in such a way doesn't mean they admire your wit. :P
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on May 23, 2010, 11:25:11 PM
LB, I have a request. If anyone from now on posts offtopic and keeps it going for more than 4 posts in a row, Delete the posts and stuff, please? I don't want people posting in here asking for a request and coming back the next day having to sift through a page and a half of useless not-conversation to find their assistance. It's bad for business.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: legacyblade on May 23, 2010, 11:47:18 PM
I would, but I can only delete my posts.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: winkio on May 23, 2010, 11:50:08 PM
I'll keep watch for you Ulta.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on May 24, 2010, 01:06:49 AM
Thanks Wink. 'Pologies, Legacy, I forgot 'Moderator' here means the moderator mods only one forum.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Shalaren on July 13, 2010, 02:55:41 AM
Hey! I wonder if you can help me out with a game Im making!
I got the story but its not organized.. its all messed up and X: well.
not organized

Quote
A Hidden city ruled by the King Remus, named Shalaren Metropolis is the one city that have protected earth for centuries from the Mystical might of the Next world. for that King Remus has discovered an ancient technique to keep the doors to the next world closed. a technique which is called "The Void". The Void has a million sides to it, but only a couple are possible to be learned, all Shalaren's citizens were furced to learn the Void, is if they are all slaves to earth protections. but so, to learn the Void you must have a Shalarenian blood in you. King Remus have learned that he had the right blood to master the Void, to be strong like god, by possesing the lost souls of the next world inside of him and gaining their strength, and so he became stronger day by day. King Remus was once known as world's protector, but now known as world's biggest concern. King Remus goal is not to protect the world anymore, but is to rull it. the people of Shalaren Metropolis began to lose faith in their king, Remus's son, Kathel went against his father as well. Shalaren Metropolis was made to defeat the Mystical might of the Next world, but now its being controlled by it. A war has begun, and the city was no longer Hidden from the world, Shalaren against its own king, destroying everything around in the city, or out of it. Remus has lost contol of his powers and was unable to stop, Remus was now the strongest Man on earth. he has killed all those who did not like his ways.

A week after The king has mastered the Void, his son came by to his room to discuss about world's protection, "who cares about the world? my son, we have everything we need in Shalaren! what is it for us, if none knows about our existence?", those were Remus words, Remus cares no more about the world, he only cares about the strength he can get with his position. Kathel had no choice, but to go against his father.

More will be written later.

quick summary:
Kathel and a group of people secretly made Shalaren's Council. to stand against the king.. who is now rolling the world. the game goes by as you being one of the people insde that group.
ps. it is a floating Island o-o
Anyway! it ends up with the Island exploading because of Remus... didnt think of how yet.. X:
and the Island brakes into 5 parts all around the world,  and there starts a new chapter which i dont have to work on right now.. im only working on the first chapter of the game.

X: I like got the story.. but the way i have it all in mind is all messed X:
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: ShadowPierce on July 13, 2010, 05:15:48 PM
->Hi there, Pierce here... I was about to add some more to the story of Wipe (http://forum.chaos-project.com/index.php/topic,6789.0.html) when I noticed that my main characters' bios were very VERY Kingdom Hearts-ish... I was wondering if you could do some improvements... If you don't know what to alter, it would be best to read the story of the game to have a little background... BTW, I'll have the parts that can't be changed in bold and red. Also, only the bios are to be changed unless your suggestions are great...

Here they are:

(click to show/hide)
(click to show/hide)
(click to show/hide)

Waiting for your kind replies... :D


Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: ShadowPierce on July 23, 2010, 04:59:17 AM
->May I politely ask if someone is still reading this thread? I can really use some help... Thanks! :D


Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on July 25, 2010, 04:08:02 AM
I check it when I show up, but my muse has been gone for a long while, so you can't really expect much from me right now...
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: ShadowPierce on July 25, 2010, 04:59:02 AM
->Affirmative... I'll be patient then... :D


Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: ShadowPierce on July 28, 2010, 02:43:42 PM
->Anyone still looking at this thread? Anyone with ideas for improvement... :)

Thanks! :haha:


Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: arialks on August 30, 2010, 01:15:37 AM
this thread is dead.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on August 30, 2010, 02:00:53 AM
This thread gets activity whenever it's needed. It doesn't 'die' I see if this thread has any posts whenever I come in. Just lately(months) I've not been much help to anyone in particular. Your story needs to inspire me, I guess, if you want my help. Or I can't help you out, it seems.

But no. This thread is not dead.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Shalaren on August 30, 2010, 02:05:51 AM
is that so? O:
does that inspire you in any way?  :o
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on August 30, 2010, 02:09:11 AM
...Oh skies above. My contact info is in the first post - contact me.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Pharoah on December 15, 2010, 08:09:46 PM
I'd like to contribute my abilities as well, although, mine are not story, background, history, character design, or item design. I'm an event maker, I can generally make any event. Common, parallel, autorun, all I would need to know in advance is how you want the system to function, and I can for the most part do it.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: WhiteRose on December 15, 2010, 08:12:33 PM
I'd like to contribute my abilities as well, although, mine are not story, background, history, character design, or item design. I'm an event maker, I can generally make any event. Common, parallel, autorun, all I would need to know in advance is how you want the system to function, and I can for the most part do it.

Wrong place to post, mate. This topic is about creating stories. For event making, if you'd like to contribute, sign on as part of a team, or create some tutorials or event systems.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: phillip1756 on December 17, 2010, 01:41:48 AM
Do you do full plot designs? coz if u do,plz can u help me with my horror game?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on December 22, 2010, 05:14:38 AM
Horror game?

Send me a pm with what you got; I'll see if I can help.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: mroedesigns on December 30, 2010, 03:22:37 AM
Would you be able to look at my storyline? I've got the basics stamped out, but I need a second opinion. If so I'll send a PM your way.

Thanks  :haha:
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Diokatsu on December 30, 2010, 03:23:23 AM
Would you be able to look at my storyline? I've got the basics stamped out, but I need a second opinion. If so I'll send a PM your way.

Thanks  :haha:

You can send one to me, no problem.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on December 31, 2010, 04:42:52 AM
Shur I'll help out if you need.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Futendra on January 08, 2011, 03:07:00 PM
how about checking my story too? it needs alot of work!
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: WhiteRose on January 09, 2011, 12:34:30 AM
how about checking my story too? it needs alot of work!

Ulta hasn't been around the past couple of days, but I could take a look at it for you if you'd like. Or you could just wait for It to get back, if you'd prefer.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Futendra on January 09, 2011, 12:58:00 AM
how about checking my story too? it needs alot of work!

Ulta hasn't been around the past couple of days, but I could take a look at it for you if you'd like. Or you could just wait for It to get back, if you'd prefer.
Well you can give it a shot, because i need the story as a base for chapter 2 of my game
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: WhiteRose on January 09, 2011, 01:02:05 AM
how about checking my story too? it needs alot of work!

Ulta hasn't been around the past couple of days, but I could take a look at it for you if you'd like. Or you could just wait for It to get back, if you'd prefer.
Well you can give it a shot, because i need the story as a base for chapter 2 of my game

Alright. Just PM it to me and I'll take a look at it.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Futendra on January 09, 2011, 01:04:59 AM
how about checking my story too? it needs alot of work!

Ulta hasn't been around the past couple of days, but I could take a look at it for you if you'd like. Or you could just wait for It to get back, if you'd prefer.
Well you can give it a shot, because i need the story as a base for chapter 2 of my game

Alright. Just PM it to me and I'll take a look at it.
Its in my project topic; I cant pm from my phone, which im using atm
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on January 10, 2011, 06:43:05 AM
I usually pop in every few days or so, lately.

So if you want me to look at something, send me a pm, and if a while's passed and I've popped in and not looked at it, you can remind me.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Hatsamu on February 04, 2011, 01:05:27 PM
Well, I'm not sure about how many spanish-speakers wander this forum, but I'm one of them and with good writting skills and really skillful in coming up with ideas or improving already existant ones.

So, if you find it useful, I'm offering help for those spanish-speakers that wouldn't find the way to express their needs nor their ideas in english.


If you need an spanish text introducing myself, just ask for it...!


(If you say "no, thx, there's no need for your services", it will be fine anyway xP)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Repeat on February 05, 2011, 12:40:45 AM
I new here but im not new with the all things about RMXP.
I dont make a new project or game yet becuase i dont have anything about story of the game storyline,background,charters nothing
im will glad if you will help me with this problem Thank you
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Starrodkirby86 on February 05, 2011, 06:02:32 AM
Well, I'm not sure about how many spanish-speakers wander this forum, but I'm one of them and with good writting skills and really skillful in coming up with ideas or improving already existant ones.

So, if you find it useful, I'm offering help for those spanish-speakers that wouldn't find the way to express their needs nor their ideas in english.


If you need an spanish text introducing myself, just ask for it...!


(If you say "no, thx, there's no need for your services", it will be fine anyway xP)
Gotta love bilingualism. =3 (Or in Blizzard's case, trilingualism)
I new here but im not new with the all things about RMXP.
I dont make a new project or game yet becuase i dont have anything about story of the game storyline,background,charters nothing
im will glad if you will help me with this problem Thank you

Hmm... You have to start off with some basic idea you like. Perhaps try thinking about a theme, like, an overall outlying message that's throughout the story. For example, Mother 3's theme was despite all the circumstances, family will always be together. Or something. xD

You can also try thinking of an interesting gameplay element and base a game off of that. Shigeru Miyamoto's been known to think of gameplay ideas first before welding the story and whatnot.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on February 06, 2011, 09:23:16 PM
Contact me on MSN, UltaFlame@hotmail.com

Anyone can, if they need help. My muse's been rather difficult lately, but I'm trying to get her to be nice.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: cyclope on February 11, 2011, 12:11:02 AM
Hi I need help in my story. Who can I pm what I have so far for support?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on February 11, 2011, 04:11:58 AM
send that thing my way and I'll look at it at my earliest convenience.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on March 05, 2011, 02:15:07 AM
Sending out a general apology to all people, however, good news: MY MUSE IS BACK UNDER CONTROL \o/

This means I can finally be counted on to respond to your stuff for real. Just, those who still need / want my help, shoot me a pm asking about it, would you? >.< I feel kind of bad about all that, people.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on April 18, 2011, 10:49:40 PM
There's a new addition to the service. He should be around to introduce himself.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Mystic Mage on April 22, 2011, 11:04:41 PM
Hello! It's the new guy, and I thought I'd join the Storyline Service since brainstorming story ideas and plot elements is one of my main strengths.

Here are some things I can help with:
Mythology is a great interest of mine and I am well versed Greek/Roman, Norse, Japanese, Egyptian, and European mythologies. I am also well-rounded in general folklore from many different regions and have some knowledge of Celtic lore.
I can come up with fantastical scenerios of many types, such as omens, prophecies, book stories within the game, or history, and I can create multi-faceted characters' background/biographies from scratch.
Need some lore for a specific weapon, armor, or item? I can come up with it. I'll be as detailed or concise as you like.
Need unique names for characters, weapons/armor, or creatures? I work well with Latin and Greek roots and can form a name which has a specific and story-related meaning.
My main genre focus is fantasy and urban fantasy, but I also work well with macabre / horror and sci-fi, especially alien cultures within the sci-fi genre.

Times: 1pm - 9pm Central Standard Time for Weekdays. As for weekends just check for me. I might be on.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Mapper2100 on April 25, 2011, 02:29:43 AM
Heyy,

I was wondering if i could get some help updating, expanding, and making my story... I have the basic outline for the story... Its very new and theres not much too it but here it goes.

Cinnabar Knights:  A group of rebel knights that all wear red (some say blood stained) armor, and plan on taking over their respective kingdoms. Zackariah (Protagonist) and his band of thieves, and other loyal knights, want to stop this uprising, and are paid for their work around the globe, slowly destroying all the Cinnabar Knights, Soo they think. What they fail to realize is that the Cinnabar Knights, are have an evil sorcerer, who brings them back from the underworld as they die.

Thanks in advance people

Matt (Mapper2100)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Mystic Mage on April 25, 2011, 04:27:36 AM
@Mapper2100

I'll take the case! Haha.
 
Anything else you can give me though like what direction you want it to take, some aspects of the world they live in, or a little bit more about the different groups? The more you give me the more I have to work with.
You can send me the details in a PM, and after knocking around ideas I'll send you the possible options. Since it is your story I'll just try to give you many options, and you go with the one you like the most or what fits best ok?


Also, I'm not incredibly busy so if there is anyone that still has not been helped or needs more inspiration for their story then PM the details to me and I'll see what I can do.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: WhiteRose on April 25, 2011, 06:56:49 PM
Sorry for the double post but it is for good reason.

The modify button is your friend. :)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Bradley_Theory on April 25, 2011, 07:13:42 PM
I have some points I'm sure of I'm going to put 'em in my story, but I need some more inspiration. So Mystic Mage, if you could help me that would be really nice. I can't PM atm, because I'm on a HORRIBLE Internet connection, so loading that page will cost like 30 minutes. If you can PM me about it, I'll answer it when I'm back home with good Internet.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Mystic Mage on April 26, 2011, 12:38:22 AM
Will do. ;)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: GrieverSoft on April 27, 2011, 03:20:11 PM
All I want...(takes a swig from his Beck's)... is for someone to help me come up with a name.  Um, it's your typical medieval European fantasy setting, with a slight JRPG flavor (although, what I'm working on is very much a WRPG).  I need a name for a substance, a magical element, if you will.  Something ending in -ite, or -ium.  Meta speaking, it's simply a combination of Phazon (Metroid Prime), Lyrium (Dragon Age), Spice (Dune), and...I guess, the T-Virus (Resident Evil).

In the setting, before there were people or intelligent life, a meteor came crashing down on this typical medieval European fantasy setting.  It brought with it, the stuff I need help naming.

Its properties:

*Radiates magic energy.
*Can be lethal to living things in large quantities
*When processed into a salt-like spice and ingested, it can allow certain people to use magic, or simply makes them smarter/psychic
*Its crystalline form embeds itself in creatures, and over time, corrupts them into entities called "Anathaema" (undead/demons)
*It tends to internalize simple microbes.  over time, the microbes become brain cells, and the material (in large veins) becomes sentient
**Some cultures in the setting worship sentient veins as gods
*Dragons produce the stuff naturally, but most don't know this
*as a spice, it can be addictive
*It is responsible for the evolution of intelligent life in the setting (although, not responsible for the existence of humans...) by uplifting a bunch of harpy-like creatures into godlike beings.

If anyone can help me come up with a name for the stuff, please let me know?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on April 27, 2011, 10:25:10 PM
Anathite. (pronouncing the 'th' like a t, though)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: GrieverSoft on April 29, 2011, 05:31:23 AM
While I thank you, I've been doing some research.  Most things ending in -ite, are a mineral.  Since the stuff is an element, not a compound, and is crystalline when pure, it cannot be a metal or a mineral, so it's name can't end in -um (such as aluminum, titanium, uranium, et, al).  The best thing it can end with is -on (such as carbon, boron, or...phazon, haha).  I like that you have actually been able to come up with something when I couldn't, but I must protest.  Calling it anethite (I'm assuming it's Anathaema, plus the suffix -ite, denoting a mineral that causes anathema of sorts).  That kinda reduces it to its undead-making qualities, does it not?  This element creates life, changes the world around it.  Because of the element, intelligent life in this setting exists, they can cast magic, create cities in the sky or even create life.  It's much more important that the fact that if it doesn't kill someone, it'll turn them into a zombie.  Can I get some more suggestions?  This name thing is killing me...

Oh, and I forgot to mention that when compounded with iron, it creates mithril in this setting.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on April 29, 2011, 05:39:44 AM
Hey look at that, research.

Always happy to comply with research.

Claron?

Taking Clar from Clarity, it kind of uses it ironically - while it allows for creation and such, it also clearly has its drawbacks.

Veion? Since it causes those vein-things...

Mystic, got any suggestions?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Mystic Mage on April 30, 2011, 12:29:20 AM
I might have some suggestions.
Some things to note on how many elements get their names in real life is that they are usually root words which emphasize the properties of the element such as whether it is toxic, shines, burns, stinks, its texture, color, etc. Otherwise they are usually named the last name of the person who discovered it or even partly by where it was discovered. Also different cultures and people will have other names.

It might also be good to have more than one name for this substance. One for when it is a pure element, one for its mythril compound, and one for its spice form. This gives more diversity and makes its forms more specific. You could also have names for the dragon byproduct, the sentient vein structures, and even the built-up "poison" it becomes to make Anathema (anathema is a good name by the way.)

Considering the element came from space some good names could be:
Vivastron (vI-vast-ron) - something I came up with. In a sense would mean "star of life" combined roots of vivere "life" (Latin) and aster "star" (Greek).
Bioastron (bI-O-ast-ron) - same meaning as Vivastron but both roots are Greek. Bios - "life"

Also:
Arguron (ar-goor-on) - Simply the Greek word for silver. Means "to shine white". It might be a good name for the mythril alloy.
Kokaxion (kO-kacks-E-on) - something I came up with. In a sense it means "grain of worth" in Greek. This could be used for the spice form of the element.
Seirion (sE-ir-E-on) - literally means "scorching" in Greek. This could apply for when dragons make the element should it have anything to do with their fire-breathing processes.

If it is a certain color in any of these forms that could also affect the name. Same if it changes appearance (shape/texture/hardness).
I'll come up with some more if needed.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on April 30, 2011, 12:39:03 AM
Knew there was a reason I hired this guy.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Mystic Mage on April 30, 2011, 05:24:29 AM
Knew there was a reason I hired this guy.
^_^
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: GrieverSoft on May 02, 2011, 02:04:36 PM
Sporon.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Mystic Mage on May 04, 2011, 05:28:55 AM
Sporon.

Ah... okay?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: GrieverSoft on May 04, 2011, 11:43:00 AM
I was kidding.  Still haven't come up with anything, myself.  Do you want more details?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Mystic Mage on May 04, 2011, 08:33:17 PM
I was kidding.  Still haven't come up with anything, myself.  Do you want more details?

Heh, I thought so but I was not sure. :P
Sure, more details are nice. The more I have to work with the better results you'll get from me.
Also, did none of those names I put out suffice? It's fine if they don't fit what you were looking for, but I want to know if I was on the right track at all.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: GrieverSoft on May 04, 2011, 09:47:35 PM
I'm going for something simple and memorable.  Let's take water, for instance.  It has a simple name, and it is the most important thing on this earth to life.  The sun, too.  Oh, and carbon.  Anyway...

This element is supposed to be allegory to oil.  It's extremely precious, allowing people to increase their lifespans, others to cast magic, and it powers airships (the one JRPG element I just HAD to include).  However, it only naturally occurs (we think) in the desert region of Al-Vaatir, and is hard to get.  Living in the desert are nomadic tribes of elves and hostile Wyrms.  Mining the stuff makes you vulnerable to both.  If you've read Dune, you'll know that I'm ripping it off.

As for the stuff itself, I'm not sure what color it's supposed to be, but when it's pure, it forms geometrically perfect crystals.  It'll probably be blue.  Yeah, blue, the color of most mana bars on most WRPGs.  When this element is alloyed with iron and/or silver, mithril is formed.

When deposits of this element are left alone long enough, the micro-organisms living on the crystals evolve into neural tissue.  Over more time, this neural tissue becomes sapient.  Like I said before, some of these deposits are discovered, worshiped and enshrined.  One religion in particular holds that if someone is 'touched,' by this deposit (in reality, corrupted, or made into a mage), then these people have to become Clerics and go on healing missions.

Peoples bodies can be corrupted by the element if they take too much of it.  Eventually, they grow dependent on it, and over more time (or if they just take a shit-ton of it over short time), their body starts to produce the stuff.  Mages and clerics are in this state, but not to such a severe degree, and casting magic helps cleanse their bodies.  A sign of deep corruption is a person's blood-red eyes. If they don't expel the element from their bodies, then crystal structures will start to replace their natural tissues.  Their higher brain functions will atrophy.  They'll be consumed with the desire to corrupt others with the element.  They'll become Anathaema.  My version of undead are pretty much the same thing as Cie'th from Final Fantasy XIII, if you've ever played that.

Dragons are a special kind of Anathaema that aren't really corrupted by the element, so much as they are in a kind of symbiosis.  Their fire-breath is blue and leaves crystals as a residue.  If anyone disturbs a deposit of the element, there's usually a dragon not far behind to protect it.  This will become a plot point, later.

It has a minty scent to it.  The crystal tends to be very smooth and glassy, and mithril alloys are usually shinier than other metals.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Hatsamu on May 15, 2011, 11:06:54 PM
Zhalyum


Velharyte


Kermarite


Maerstine
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: kenshen on May 21, 2011, 02:40:19 AM
Hey i need help with an odd story i don't have alot and wondered if you could help

so my story involves a man named yukoo saruto yes i like Japanese names ahem so any way he and his friend ken
so one night he was having a dream about the kingdom he lives in being destroyed by an emperor of darkness so after him and his friends going on a long journey while meeting new ones they finally arrive at the emperors palace so after a long battle and saruto and friends being defeated the emperor tries to go in for the kill but saruto got in the way and saved his friends so sarah being a white mage teleports them to a random forest this is where the game begins saruto be half alive ken in order to save his friend and grow more powerful decides to absorb his friend saruto so saruto must relive his past but while doing so god appears to give judgement to saruto and that's what i got  
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: GrieverSoft on May 23, 2011, 07:37:17 AM
What do the helper guys think of Managen for the name of the magical element?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: PhoenixFire on May 23, 2011, 09:06:22 PM
EDIT: I am also available for storyline creation, refinement, etc.. Simply PM me, and lemme know what you need. My specialty areas are: Legends, Lore, Fantasy, detailed items, town names and descriptions, character bios, and almost anything close to the aforementioned.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Hatsamu on May 24, 2011, 05:15:04 AM
What do the helper guys think of Managen for the name of the magical element?

Its not bad. But my mind reordered the letters there and made me read "Megaman" at first glance o.o

I'm somehow fond with the "yte" at the end of the word for a crystal-like element, so I'd suggest "Managyte", (while Managen could work too, anyway)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: mroedesigns on June 11, 2011, 07:06:28 AM
Let me know what you think I need to improve, thank you!

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: PhoenixFire on June 11, 2011, 03:19:25 PM
Honestly, I don't think it needs anything changed at all. It's quick and to the point; Quite good for a quick intro I think.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: mroedesigns on June 11, 2011, 07:39:21 PM
Honestly, I don't think it needs anything changed at all. It's quick and to the point; Quite good for a quick intro I think.


:O.o: Really? Thanks! haha.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: PhoenixFire on June 11, 2011, 07:53:50 PM
Yeah, it's descriptive enough to start a game with, gives a little bit of backstory, and, is straight to the point.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: mroedesigns on June 11, 2011, 08:42:16 PM
Well thank you very much! Any tips to expanding a story like this? I want to add more detail and expand on it a bit, but I've got writers block like no other.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: PhoenixFire on June 11, 2011, 09:54:34 PM
Sure. Send me a pm with the whole storyline, and side stories you want in it.. Also, how you want the game to end, like, the final goal or mission, etc.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: mroedesigns on June 11, 2011, 10:43:00 PM
Sent it, thanks! :D
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on June 12, 2011, 02:02:09 AM
If you need a second opinion, I can always be grabbed for a good bit of input.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: mroedesigns on June 12, 2011, 02:09:18 AM
Please feel free :D
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: PhoenixFire on June 21, 2011, 03:57:13 PM
So, I don't see much activity on here... Bumping this topic...  Does anyone need storyline help?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on June 21, 2011, 05:50:47 PM
When it's needed, they come here, when it's not, they don't.

So, like, yeah.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Shalaren on June 26, 2011, 07:11:39 AM
Lmao need major help with this S:
(click to show/hide)

I need help to make everything connect, if you know what I mean,
I was "able" to put the Varl in there, but they are not the only group of people that are in the story, I just dont know where or how they can fit there. all of these groups show in the game. thats why they need to be in the background too.

another Group are the Gilleruins, they are sort of Pirates that never grow old, they are more creatures then humans because they cant exactly think for themselves, they are lead by their Captain, he is their purpose in life. and at the oppening of the gates, the captain died, leaving the Gilleruins helpless, creating their new goal - to find a way to revive their Captain.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: JellalFerd on June 28, 2011, 10:27:17 AM
>>In a world of magic that happens to forbid it
lolwut
Just some comments/questions:
For instance: The Varl was destroyed. Fantastic. However, there's no real description on how they died. Just, 'they tampered with the seal that strong magicians created to stop magic from newborns, however this doesn't actually seal away magic, it just seals away the next generation's magic, which just makes these magicians look like huge ass hypocrites-' Er..., getting away from the point. Anyways, they tampered with the seal. Fantastic. How exactly did this kill them?

Actually, what did The Varl have anything to do with the plot at all? Isn't this about some hypocrites sealing away magic and then it comes back to haunt them as they can't defend themselves against those demons, but Shalaren Sue breaks the seal and seals away the demons. If the Varl turned out to be some future villains, I'd see why that's worth mentioning, but apparently they were all destroyed.

>>The others should be scared of him, a criminal who has broken the rules
Did I miss some back-story or something?

>>Shalaren is known to be the strongest magician in history, as he was the only magician that could use his life as pure energy to close the gates of the underworld, which were opened mysteriously that is.
>>He told the others that there was a simple spell to force the gates to close
lolwut yet again
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: PhoenixFire on June 28, 2011, 03:25:53 PM
Lmao need major help with this S:

Other than what was already pointed out, did you have something specific in mind that you wanted help with? Or just generally making the storyline better...?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Shalaren on July 05, 2011, 01:28:09 AM
(click to show/hide)
Mind pointing out the flaws?
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vexus on March 13, 2012, 02:31:54 AM
Is this thread still active?

I am currently writing a story for my new project and would like some insight from other people.

Thanks
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Vell on March 13, 2012, 04:09:33 AM
PM me what you got.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Mystic Mage on December 19, 2012, 09:15:29 AM
Hello, sorry, I was absent for a long time without notice. However, I do feel I can still help with any stories, names, lore, etc. now that I am back. I'm around so post here or PM me your concepts if you like.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: PhoenixFire on March 27, 2013, 03:41:39 PM
I am back as well, ready to help whomever needs it!
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: anagura on July 04, 2013, 09:15:50 AM
Do you have any advice for implementing "fillers"?

I have my main plot points sketched out, but those alone would only amount to like 1 hour of gameplay.

I know the general RPG way of dealing with such things is have "episodes" built around certain characters, for example in FF7, Barret had his story in Gold Saucer, which lead into Cait Sith's story. A while later you find yourself in Rocket Town dealing with Cid's issues...

BUT, I only have one hero and one antagonist in my story... Kinda hard to draw ideas to fill up space when you're only following one character.

Another thing stories tend to do is "interruptions", eg: you're walking through a cave trying to find the "Holy Phallic Object of Doom" when all of a sudden, THE GROUND GIVES WAY! You fall into a pit of despair when you discover you're in a pit of PHALLIC SNAKES OF DOOM!

BUT, this can only happen so many times before you end up despising it as much as the 50 or so fetch quests you've been sent on. I guess I'm wondering... Are there any rules I should be following to allow me to see interruptions differently, the last thing I want is players comparing every twist to Team Rocket coming to steal their Pokemon or even annoyed that everything they do goes horribly wrong, or worse, expecting their next mission to go horribly wrong too.

One last thing, aside from these two examples of "fillers", do you have any other techniques to add play time to the experience, without messing with the overall plot too much?

NB: I acknowledge no one's responded here in a while, and while this may seem directed at Vell, anybody's input will be appreciated.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Zexion on July 04, 2013, 11:08:58 AM
Well the way I planned on extending the actual game play without extending the story might be a bit different because it is kingdom hearts after all lol. I planned to add random puzzles like you might have to find your way through a cave maze, or go help out some random npc that has nothing to do with the story, but happens to be there. Make it an obstacle to actually reach the boss such as starting them at the bottom of a cliff having to find a way up through the inside, all the while having to avoid being damaged by random things that the boss has influence on. Another way is to extend cutscenes, but not by adding dialogue, instead add animations to characters, some camera movement etc. Mini-games can also add a bit to the play time, especially if you make them required to unlock powerful spells and attacks.

In-case you don't want to read all of that
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: anagura on July 04, 2013, 11:43:52 PM
Thanks for replying. I love that boss idea, strangely enough, I've been wondering about boss fights lately too and how to make them more engaging & memorable. I'll definitely use something like this for one of my bosses as I'm trying to take a different approach with every boss.

My issue with puzzles & mini-games is, I don't want to frustrate the player, I'll try and implement very simple puzzles for progressing with the story, but I try to keep them optional, as you said to unlock a new weapon or something.

I'm more talking about the story, expanding it without ruining it, or changing it too much.

I was just wondering if there is anyone out there who has written stories or read/seen lots of them and has picked up a few methods of adding drama & making things more interesting but still holding true to the main plot.

I like your idea about helping out a random NPC, I'll try adding a few moments like this. I might even make the villain playable, switching character/story every chapter. That should add an hour or two to my game, lol.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Shalaren on August 13, 2013, 06:57:21 AM
anyone still offering any service? I need a little help with writing the story for my project
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: PhoenixFire on August 14, 2013, 04:11:05 AM
Yep, I am.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Shalaren on August 14, 2013, 04:40:52 AM
Haha oh boy I dont know where to start with this...
ok this is some history of the world for my game
(click to show/hide)
which I had for a while, but to be honest... I am not happy with it at all S: it focuses too much about magic, and it just isnt that big of an emphasis, actually Magic is just another concept in the world just like anything else, the only difference is that a seal was cast on the world just to weaken magic generally, but I dont want an emphasis on that either! S: The seal isnt the only thing that was done to end the chaos, and the Chaos it self was only caused because of the eight to begin with. so its ok to have an emphasis that the eight used magic, and that they had to be sealed away since they were dangerous, but in a different way I suppose. there are 2 stories I need to built, a story of how the world became to be (as how the gods created it) and just general history of the world which is what this one is... so it needs to be along the lines of how the world was going in its natural rhythm, and then the eight discovered their powers (I am thinking of coming up with a different name for magic... S:) and from there crap began to happen, but emphasising more on events like the establishment of the Meastre, or the Shroud, and how the world changed.  I hope I didnt confuse you too much, but I need help reorganising this story, because I can't figure it out myself S:, I tried many different things but I just fail at writing so much x-x

incase you aren't sure what I mean about something just let me know, otherwise do you have any suggestions and ideas? :)

Thank you in advance!

Edit: I thought of making it easier by merging the stories together too, of explaining how the world became to be and the events that followed that
Here is a rough draft of the story about the gods
(click to show/hide)
which I hate I definetly need to think about something more creative x-x
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: PhoenixFire on August 14, 2013, 04:47:15 AM
I hope I didnt confuse you too much,

uhm... Give me a little bit to sort through this, and I'll be less confused lolz. I think one story combining everything would be best to be honest.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Epic Stories.
Post by: Shalaren on August 14, 2013, 04:59:06 AM
hahaha ok  :^_^':
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Worldbuilding, Plots, Characters & Internal Consistency!
Post by: Vell on May 03, 2015, 03:53:39 PM
Check the first page for the reimagining of this service.

As it stands I'm the only one around to help I know of.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Worldbuilding, Plots, Characters & Internal Consistency!
Post by: PhoenixFire on May 04, 2015, 12:33:33 AM
As it stands I'm the only one around to help I know of.

Me too.. Still around..
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Worldbuilding, Plots, Characters & Internal Consistency!
Post by: Sylphe on May 13, 2015, 07:42:25 PM
D'you help with fresh new invented stories (only knowing the main frame of the story ) or only stories with deeply thought background charac etc ? ^^
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Worldbuilding, Plots, Characters & Internal Consistency!
Post by: PhoenixFire on May 14, 2015, 12:03:52 PM
I help with both. New and fresh, or well thought out drafts; doesn't make a difference to me =)
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Worldbuilding, Plots, Characters & Internal Consistency!
Post by: Vell on May 15, 2015, 03:06:05 PM
Whatever you have, send to me (or phoenix) and we'll do what we can to help you expand.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Worldbuilding, Plots, Characters & Internal Consistency!
Post by: Zexion on May 29, 2015, 01:47:37 PM
I'm wondering if anyone would like to help me write an awesome story for the kh game. It can be as specific or general to the kh series as possible. I'm turning here because I've always had trouble with writing a story that wasn't generic. (E.g. Heros do x. Bad guys do y. Heros win.)
Though I'm no where close to actually plotting the scenes out, I'd like to begin working on outlines of the game that I can build upon. Which includes the story and scene plotting.

I have my generic story if you'd rather build on that, but I'd prefer something....different.
Title: Re: The Storyline Service. Worldbuilding, Plots, Characters & Internal Consistency!
Post by: PhoenixFire on May 31, 2015, 09:32:33 AM
I'll help.