Other people can make you change yourself.

[Vell]

In Psych I'm learning about "Locus of controls" which is "Do you think you control your fate or do you think other people or things control your fate?" An internal locus of control means you feel you are, yourself, capable of controlling what happens to you. An external is the opposite, where you think things simply happen to you without your control.

But one thing I'm noticing is that, certain people... well, when I care about certain people, it sparks a catalyst within me that makes me begin to change myself. It takes weeks to be noticeable, but then I see how it happened. The context of this is a few weeks ago I met someone. We're now pretty close friends and they've had a significantly harder life than I have. I'm becoming inspired to finally take life seriously. I've suffered from a lack of motivation and I have been consistently feeling like a horrible person because with all I was given and all I have, I squander it by refusing to take life seriously.

It's too easy for me, in some cases. I have no outward reason to struggle and I don't care much about being a well-known famously successful person. So I don't care about being super competitive in the work force or having the best grades in school. It's just not how I work. But now... my motivation is to a worthy individual. I'm beginning to think "I need to prove I deserve what I have. It's time to stop coasting." but hasn't yet fully hit me in the face. I've thought similar things in the past, but this is the closest its come to seriously having a major impact on the way I think of things. And the urge only grows by the day. I kind of fucked myself for a few classes in this semester of school, but I'm damn sure I'll be motivated for the next quarter. I'll have to drop a few online responsibilities and neglect a bunch of fun activities but I believe I can make myself do DAMN FINE at school and even do odd jobs to earn money on the side.

I already tutor a 4th grader. Maybe I'll tutor more aspie kids, I seem to be fine with it so far. So yeah. I think my issue so far is that my locus of control has been... undecided. I knew I could affect myself and the way things happened to me but also believed that a large portion of what happens to me is simply beyond my control. And I need to shift that "No Locus of Control" into an "internal" one.

[Fantasist]

Good that you're motivated, but make sure to keep the fire going. I suffer from a lack of motivation too. If I think about it, I think I'm waiting for someone to motivate me out of my lethargic view on life and external locus of control. I often have these very short-lived bursts of inspiration and then suddenly, they are gone. Make sure it doesn't happen to you!

[MarkHest]

You can actaully force that motivation to yourself if you're beginning to feel that it's fading. Just think of what you realy want and keep that fire burning stong. Try to figure out what's causing you to lose your motivation and stop it! It is important that you search deep within yourself and find a goal that you want to reach, once you have a glimt of it, grab it with all your focus and drag it into your being. I can't tell what the feeling is that you're looking for with just words, the feeling that you search for is something only for you. If you feel like you're giving up, try harder, the feeling you're looking for will not fail you as long as you keep it burning.

This is called, selfmotivation.

I have altso, until resently, started to get exremely motivated in the things i do. I found my goal and what i want to become in life and i just kept that feeling close to me whenever i thought about what usualy gets down. The moment i feel that "meh..." feeling i instantly dive into my being and start thinking:

"No! This is what i want and i will do this without failing. I am sick of just turning my back on things becouse i don't feel like doing it. I will be strong and i already am strong. I am strong enough to keep this fire burning. I won't be weak again."

Well, something like that but without thinking the words. It's all feelings for me when i do it.

[Vell]

It's amazing how so many of my classes touch on the same ideas but filtered through the focus of the class. In Psych it's locus of controls, in philosophy it's a matter of morality. You have reason and you should use it to determine what you consider "good" actions and what you consider "unacceptable" actions and then you should use your reason to hold to it. If you fail, you are less than an animal and a slave to your subjective emotions and inclinations/instincts. Reasoning being that animals don't have reason and their natural inclination lead to a sense of order. Our inclinations lead to self destruction. Drinking, etc.

I'll get there. @--@