Quote from: winkio on February 16, 2012, 12:22:25 am
Self indulgent as always. Getting over your fears is one thing, but ignoring the consequences of your actions is another. Do what you want, but be responsible. Also, at some later date, take a few steps back and chill out. Everything in life is only as important as we want it to be.
Yeah, that's the stuff. I accept every responsibility. Everything. Peace is can be described in only two words. "I am", that's all there is. I indulge myself, I want to feel myself, my true self, without any crap surrounding it. Thank you for your perspective.
God, I have to stop posting drunk. xD I'm so self-absorbed and awesome when I'm drunk.
@Mark: Both out of fear and ignorance, that's why I have been holding myself back. I've been told recently by a friend "he's a great guy, but he doesn't tap into his full potential, he's holding himself back". It took me a week to understand fully what he said and what he meant. It took me a week to feel what he said.
Sometimes I have to go to one extreme to obtain the perspective and the wisdom there so I can come back and become a better person. I promise myself that I am not going to hold myself back anymore, I promise myself that I will stop doing damage to myself like this.
Though, you should re-read my text. There is no must, there is no obligation. I don't *have to* to do anything. All of it comes from a place of desire, from a place where I just want it. There is no forcing, there is no *must* in all that. Instead it all comes from place of choice, a place where I say yes or no, where I make the decision and where I don't allow external bad influences to disrupt me in making that decision. Obviously I still won't go beyond the boundaries of what I believe in.
Thank you for offering your perspective as well.
EDIT: I've been thinking recently about Tolle's book "The Power of Now" a bit more and things are starting to come together. Obviously that stuff with the meditations is a bit far fetched, but there are some really wise pieces of text in there. For one, the probably best concept is to let go of the past and the future and just live in this moment. Sure, maybe someone has had a crappy past or is going to have problems in the future for whatever reason, but at this very moment, how are they? They are just fine. e.g. Somebody's been beaten by their parents in the past. And they will be beaten again in the future. But at this very moment, what is going? Are they being beaten? Well, no. They are great. I know, it's a stupid example, but it serves the point I am trying to make. Thoughts?
EDIT: Ah, right, I wanted to add something else. All of you know what the ego is. I like to look at the ego as the image we have painted about ourselves, the way we see us. Sadly, that image is often not real. In that case we will avoid getting in situations that could show us that our self image is incorrect. Those kind of realizations hurt and our subconscious is trying its best to protect us from pain like this so it sabotages us into doing certain things that might not be something we really want. I think that the most obvious one is basically making excuses for something. I know that I used to do it. I still sometimes do, but it's changed over the past year. The ego in this context is probably man's biggest burden. I think it's very important that we let go. Obviously that can't be done over night, but persistent small steps also lead to a goal. Even if one never reaches the goal (let's say they get old and die xD), they will still have that part of their journey towards their goal. One interesting thing that I heard the other day was that basically two friends were discussing this topic a bit and one was making a point that he wants to destroy his ego, get rid of it, etc. Let's not focus on how bad this negative kind of attitude is towards oneself for now.
In any case, the other one replied with something along the lines of that getting rid of one's ego is nearly impossible. This would be enlightenment and only few people have done that through history. I think I understood what he meant. I am freeing myself constantly more and more of this ego. I think yesterday I was at a peak. Alcohol does funny stuff to you.
Seriously, though, these are the limitations that I can remove now. If I am not being manipulated by my own subconsciousness anymore, then I am free, am I not?
Feel free to offer some perspective on this as well.