Your favourite troll needs help. Seriously, this is rather urgent.

[Subsonic_Noise]

So, my life is fucked up right now.

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My mother nearly died (brain cancer, luckly they detected it), due to that and additional stress, I failed my university and lacked the money to retake the test,
I'm homeless (so I had to move back to my mother's, just that she's at the hospital, so I live with my abusive stepfather), am in debt since I couldn't get a job yet (everyone including me expected me to go back to university next month to do my bachalor.. so much about that) and I'm having trouble affording food lately thanks to my retarded phone contract I can't cancel eating up all the money I had left.

But, I'm not here to whine around. I need money, and I'm offering services for it. I'll do any of the following for appropriate payment:

- Mix your songs (professional level multitrack mixes using Pro Tools / Logic Pro 9)
- Master your songs (Works best if I mix them first, but I can master any stereo wav / aiff / flac / etc file you can give me and vastly improve their sound)
- Compose soundtrack for your videogame / youtube video / film / whatever you want
- Add to your tracks. I can do recordings of a multitude of instruments and have contact to many more musicians.
- Make effect sounds for your video game / video
- Mix an entire video production. This includes soundeffects, soundtrack, voiceover, ambient sounds, etc
- Make your midi music sound amazing, using high-class virtual instruments, real instruments and a varity of plugins
- If you're an instrumentalist / vocalist who wants to make music, but lacks band members, I'll be your one-man backing band.
- Basically anything sound or music related.
- I'll fix up any of your recordings of any kind. Even if you can't sing, I can make it sound like you can if you're anywhere close.

I'm a professional-level (even if new) audio engineer, and I have led recordings and productions of multiple local bands, like this one: http://snd.sc/I4AW1o
The planning, coaching, fixing, mixing, and mastering of that track was all my work. The guitarist, who also does the vocals, didn't hit a single right note while singing, so I tuned and fixed each note by hand. No autotuning, but manual tuning, to make it sound as natural as possible.
Here's a comparision of drums I recorded before I mixed them, and afterwards. You can hear the results here: http://snd.sc/IMwsvF
I also was the second producer for the newest album of the local pop rock band "Both Break Hearts", responsable for the string sections and additional synths as well as general arrangement. Here's a picture of me at work back in my university:

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And here is a picture of my usual work environment:

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If you take any of my services, you can expect professional-grade results. That is all.

And here's a donation link because people asked:
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=R7GWK7T68LJKW

[winkio]

Sorry, I feel for you, but I don't have a need for any of your skills.  Hope you find some luck soon.

[Subsonic_Noise]

Sorry, I feel for you, but I don't have a need for any of your skills.  Hope you find some luck soon.

At least you post in here and tell me instead of just ignoring the thread. Thank you.

[Blizzard]

I am working with 2 friends on a side project (some kind of board game, I can't go into details). We decided that we probably won't have any music. I first have to talk to them about it, but we might change our minds about that. The music style would basically be what you call "elevator music" which is basically simpler music in construction and unobtrusive. I have played recently Tasty Planet 1 and 2 and Sim City on iOS and while they had that kind of music, after a while it started to slightly annoy me because of the very limited number of tracks. Since the board game could stretch out for an hour or two or even three, I am not sure how it would be possible with just a little music not to annoy the player after a while. I can talk to my friends about it, but the price tag is critical here for us. Since you now know to some extent what kind of music we need for what purpose, maybe you can propose the amount of music that would be suitable and obviously how much it would cost. When you can tell me some arbitrary numbers, I'll go talk to them about it.

[Subsonic_Noise]

Thank you. I'd love to do this. For the prices, what's roughly your budget? If the rough style is like simcity etc, that should be doable. What also would work for something like this is, depending on the kind of board game, piano music or slightly jazzy tunes. What'd be reasonable to charge is around 30$ an hour, but that's adjustable to fit the budget and the work required. Since it's a board game, between 5-8 tracks should usually do if you want some varity. If you can give me some more details about the game this would be easier to figure out. One way or the other, I'm gonna go to the doctors now and be back in a bit to add to this.
Thanks.

[Blizzard]

5-8 tracks sounds good. How long do you think would it take you to make them? I'll ask my friends what they think.

[SBR*]

I'm sorry to hear all this. I don't need any professional music nor will I probably ever need it, so I can't help you, though I do wish you the best of luck.

[Subsonic_Noise]

@Blizz:
That's difficult to figure out. Depends on how much detail etc I put in the song and the mix and how complex it is, but usually 6 +- hours per track should be appropriate, that and the price per hour open to adjustment though once I have more details.

I'm sorry to hear all this. I don't need any professional music nor will I probably ever need it, so I can't help you, though I do wish you the best of luck.

Thank you.

[Blizzard]

Turns out that our budget isn't enough. I'm the only one with a full time job, both my buddies are college students without income so we basically can't afford it.

[Subsonic_Noise]

Hmm.. any chance of adapting this to the budget? I went by standard price for a beginner audio engineer minus 10 dollars here, but really right now I need every money I can get.

And by that I mean, less songs, less per hour, maybe I can even cut the time on each song down.

[Blizzard]

Sorry, but no deal. I'd be the only one willing to pay and I can't really afford to pay for it all by myself.
Sorry for getting your hopes up. If I had talked to my friends beforehand, I would have known the situation and wouldn't have posted in the first place.

[ForeverZer0]

I feel for you, Sub, and I genuinely wish the best for you, but I don't have any need of audio stuff either. I may be able to make a small free donation, and just remember me in the future if I need any small help for anything. PM me with some payment details.

Spoiler: ShowHide

In all honesty, I think your rates are WAAAAAAY to much for what this is. Sure, they are probably dirt cheap compared to industry standards, but this is not really normal circumstances. Most people here, like myself, would be willing to contribute some, not so much out of need of the actual music, but as a favor to help out an established member of the community, and hopefully contribute what they can to help you out of a bad situation.

Most people here are teenagers and young college students, working lowing paying jobs, part-time, or unemployed. I personally was thinking more along the lines of $10-$20 for a track, to help you out from being homeless. Sure, that is far below professional rates, but we are not professionals. We are just people here who have a common hobby, and not really trying to drop large amounts of money on it. Your proposition would have cost Blizzard between $750-$2000 for some music that he could likely find/make himself if so motivated. It was more of a favor on his part, not really a planned investment of that magnitude.

I don't mean to tell you what to do, I am only trying to offer you a bit of insight on the situation, to keep in mind so that more might be willing to help you out. I personally just think that when asking for people to help keep you from going hungry, only offering a 25% discount to a community of mostly hobbyist for something professional grade is not much of a deal.  I don't think anyone here doubts your abilities, we all know that you are extremely talented with music, so rely on our willingness to help you out, but not on our willingness to drop copious amounts of money. I would suggest maybe telling us what you are willing to do in the range of $10-$50 range, and let offers come based on that. You will likely get more offers.

[Subsonic_Noise]

I know. I was assuming this was for Blizz's company (due to the little details on it I had) so I applied standard rates - 10 dollars, since I also had no details on the budget. I'm obviously willing to work for less when it's personal stuff, just tell me your budget and we can figure something out. 10-20€, though, is something i can't do concidering the amount of work that goes into a piece of music. Prices here are high and that'd basically get me food for two day for the work of at least three days.

[RoseSkye]

Hmm? I'll hire you for 34 songs with a bonus at the end. I have to warn you though I do not accept anything and you may have to go back and redo things as necessary. Perhaps your style wont even fit the theme... I'll have you review some of the templates to see what you can do.

[Ryex]

And It's RoseSkye to the rescue!

seriously, I wish you luck and I'll recemend your services to anyone I meet in need of music but that's about all I can do.

[Blizzard]

I was assuming this was for Blizz's company (due to the little details on it I had)

Eh, I did say it was for a side project that I'm doing with 2 friends. :/ And you didn't mention any different pricing than $30 per hour (except that you're adjustable, but $30 is still the only fixed number there).

[Subsonic_Noise]

I was assuming this was for Blizz's company (due to the little details on it I had)

Eh, I did say it was for a side project that I'm doing with 2 friends. :/ And you didn't mention any different pricing than $30 per hour (except that you're adjustable, but $30 is still the only fixed number there).

Thought it was like two guys from your company :/ As I said: No details at all, therefore standard price. You know the drill, you don't suggest the cheapest price right away. Suggest something that suits your budget and we can talk.

Hmm? I'll hire you for 34 songs with a bonus at the end. I have to warn you though I do not accept anything and you may have to go back and redo things as necessary. Perhaps your style wont even fit the theme... I'll have you review some of the templates to see what you can do.

This sounds awesome. Drop me some more details whenever you can.

[Blizzard]

Of course, that's understandable.

[RoseSkye]

Re-add me on facebook.
http://www.facebook.com/rose.skye

[Blizzard]

*scratches ass*
*shrugs*
*adds Rose, too*

[Subsonic_Noise]

Added you. Are you in a relationship with yourself or is that person called Rose accidently?

[RoseSkye]

Added you. Are you in a relationship with yourself or is that person called Rose accidently?

Long story short my current girlfriend doesn't want me single but doesn't want to be "official"... so... yeah myself basically.

[Subsonic_Noise]

I guess that works My girlfriend and me had each other set to "married" for a long time... that way, we could easily pass it off as a joke when her parents asked. Protective parents blah blah.

[Blizzard]

I thought you can put up a relationship status without actually specifying with who.

[Subsonic_Noise]

Yeah you can.

[Spaceman McConaughey]

I honestly would hire you if I could, but I sadly cannot at this point in my life, bro.
I wish you the best of luck with this thing you're gonna have going with Rose.

[Taboo]

I've got too much to pay for right now otherwise I would simply donate some money to you.

[Blizzard]

Sub, I can lend you $100 or $200 if that helps. You can pay me back when you get back on your feet.

[Subsonic_Noise]

Sub, I can lend you $100 or $200 if that helps. You can pay me back when you get back on your feet.

That'd be awesome, I could at least pay some food and / or debts hopefully. Though I'd probably rather go for a lower sum since I don't know how long it'll take for me to get 200$ together. One way or the other, thank you.

I honestly would hire you if I could, but I sadly cannot at this point in my life, bro.
I wish you the best of luck with this thing you're gonna have going with Rose.

Thanks, and the second sentence sounded like I'm gonna prostitude myself to Rose. Which, for the prices I'll probably work for, seems pretty accurate. :3

I've got too much to pay for right now otherwise I would simply donate some money to you.

Thank you too. :3

[ShadowPierce]

Y'know...

[ForeverZer0]

I feel for you, Sub, and I genuinely wish the best for you, but I don't have any need of audio stuff either. I may be able to make a small free donation, and just remember me in the future if I need any small help for anything. PM me with some payment details.

I think this part got lost in the rest of my post. I'm still willing.

[Subsonic_Noise]

Oh, damn, how did I overlook that >.< Well I have a way to make a donation link since my paypal account is a seller account, but I can't figure out how.. so I'll just give you my paypal and hope this works.. it's Tino@Scharge.de, and thank you, alot. Really. :] Anything helps.

[ForeverZer0]

I'm in the "Send Money" section of PayPal, and it says I need either a email or mobile phone number. Whats the email address that your PayPal account is linked to?

[Subsonic_Noise]

The one I posted there Tino@Scharge.de

[ForeverZer0]

[Subsonic_Noise]

Happens to the best of us Thank you.

Here's a donation link by the way: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=R7GWK7T68LJKW

[Blizzard]

I'll send you €70 over your donation link then. When you pay me back, you can do the same over CP's donation link at the bottom right of CP's page.

[Subsonic_Noise]

Thanks alot. If everything works out right now, I'll be able to pay it back really soon. But since things usually don't, it might take a bit longer. You'll definitely get it back soon enough though. It'll help pay for some healthy food and medicine, because sickness and everything.

[Blizzard]

Let me know if you need another €70 urgently.

[Subsonic_Noise]

Thank you, but I guess I probably have enough debts. I need to make sure it's actually realistic that I could pay it back soon.

[Blizzard]

Weird, it won't let me "donate". I'll try sending it directly to your email.

EDIT: WHAT THE FUCK?! Something is gravely messed up. I can't send you a payment. It keeps telling me that I don't have any funds. But that doesn't make any sense as I paid for the domain arc-engine.com almost a month ago without problems. O_o

[Subsonic_Noise]

Paypal is a damn mess :/ they disabled my bank accounts a few weeks ago for no reason at all. I guess the only thing to do is wait and try again?

[Blizzard]

I got my PayPal running again. It seems that they changed something either at my bank or at PayPal. It would usually charge my connected account in HRK, but now I have to convert my money to USD on my debit account and PayPal then charges the USD from me.

I've sent you 70€ (roughly $100). You can pay me back when you get back on your feet.

[Subsonic_Noise]

Thanks alot. Really, thanks. I'll make sure to invest it well.
Well, to give an update on this, I found a way to go back to school which will probably leave me in even more debts, but I can't just stick around without any qualifications at all. My monetary situation isn't much better besides that, but if my plan works out it might get better soon. I don't try to get my hopes up too much though.

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And as always, when one thing gets better, another happens. My girlfriend broke up with me, yay.

[Blizzard]

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it's not because your currently messed up situation, because that would make her a horrible person.

Anyway, did you get in touch with Rose? His offer seemed promising enough.

[Subsonic_Noise]

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it's not because your currently messed up situation, because that would make her a horrible person.

Funny you'd say that, because it's part of the reason. Apparently I'm putting her through too much because I make the same mistakes multiple times and being all negative. I don't know. I thought it was part of a relationship that you can be there for each other, and I certainly didn't choose to have a burnout (as the doctor attested a week ago.)

Anyway, did you get in touch with Rose? His offer seemed promising enough.

I did. It's about a battle theme, and I'm kind of having problems with it. Writing powerful and motivating music is difficult when you're in a situation like this.

[Blizzard]

Funny you'd say that, because it's part of the reason. Apparently I'm putting her through too much because I make the same mistakes multiple times and being all negative. I don't know. I thought it was part of a relationship that you can be there for each other, and I certainly didn't choose to have a burnout (as the doctor attested a week ago.)

You thought right. It IS part of a relationship to be there for each other through good times and bad times.
I guess it's like with friends. Until you get into trouble, you won't find out who your real friends are.

I did. It's about a battle theme, and I'm kind of having problems with it. Writing powerful and motivating music is difficult when you're in a situation like this.

I know what you mean. Have you tried listening to that kind of music? I know it always puts me in the mood. e.g. if I listen to one of the good songs that I prepared for BE, I kinda want to work on BE a bit. It just inspires me. I have a pretty decent list of songs in CP that might get you in the mood.

[Subsonic_Noise]

Funny you'd say that, because it's part of the reason. Apparently I'm putting her through too much because I make the same mistakes multiple times and being all negative. I don't know. I thought it was part of a relationship that you can be there for each other, and I certainly didn't choose to have a burnout (as the doctor attested a week ago.)

You thought right. It IS part of a relationship to be there for each other through good times and bad times.
I guess it's like with friends. Until you get into trouble, you won't find out who your real friends are.

Well honestly I do still love her. i didn't really want it to end like this.

I did. It's about a battle theme, and I'm kind of having problems with it. Writing powerful and motivating music is difficult when you're in a situation like this.

I know what you mean. Have you tried listening to that kind of music? I know it always puts me in the mood. e.g. if I listen to one of the good songs that I prepared for BE, I kinda want to work on BE a bit. It just inspires me. I have a pretty decent list of songs in CP that might get you in the mood.

I'll try that I guess. Don't know how successful it'll be.

[Blizzard]

Well honestly I do still love her. i didn't really want it to end like this.

I understand.

[Subsonic_Noise]

Well, to give an update, the situation with my girlfriend got far worse, but at least my sickness has been gone for a while, and I'm moving to small a flat closer to my school now (the transport from my flat to my school made up for any cost benifits there might have been). I guess that's good but the first part kind of takes the enjoyment out of the rest. In case anyone wonders how I can pay the flat, let's just say "lawyers".

[Blizzard]

At least some things are getting better. My personal advice would be that you concentrate on keeping up the things that are already going better and (at least for now) discard the stuff that doesn't.

[Subsonic_Noise]

That's easier said than done. But I'll try.