Can of Worms Chaos Project Style - Monday 15/10/2012

[Memor-X]

Monday 15/10/2012
Worm 1

Spoiler: ShowHide

Are we too hard on Smokers?

not sure how smoking is handled overseas but in Australia we've only just passed legislation to have plain packages since there was reports that people take up smoking because the branding styles on packages was "stylish", Tasmania is planning to ban the purchase of smokes to anyone born after the year 2000 (which means in theory by 2018 we'll have a generation who doesn't smoke ever) while Victoria is planning to ban smoking on beaches and already a lot of restaurants and coffee shops now ban smoking all together (why can't they ban baby-chinos)

Worm 2

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Is 27 too old to be living with your parents?

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My Answers

Worm 1:

Spoiler: ShowHide

No, i don't think so, i don't smoke myself so i don't get why people think it clams them down when i can calm down with a 2L bottle of cola, in terms of other countries i think we may look like we're being to hard on smokers can a report came out that when US Tourists come to Australia and see what, by law, is on the packaging (cut open brains with a clot, lungs with emphysema and tar in them, a heart damaged from smoking, throat and mouth cancers, that thing that happens when your toes die and go black) but we put those on packaging to try and inform people what might happen if they continue smoking, the latest add campaign getting people to quit shows a serial killer with a hammer bashing the hell out of a brain as a metaphor for what a stroke does to your brain which can happen more likely if you smoke, it also serves as a warning to what smokers could be doing to other people with second hand smoke

i'm the only person in my family who doesn't smoke, my parents, uncle and little brother all smoke so sometimes i have to be stuck with the second hand smoke, a couple of years ago my mum thought it was unfair on me and forced everyone to smoke outside since the sunroom (it's an added room to the house with more windows than your normal room letting in more sun) would resemble how the country side is like when there are massive burn offs or bushfires because everyone would go out to the sunroom and smoke at the same time

to me, i see smoking as a form of suicide because it very slowly kills you if your lucky, my friend think i'm fighting off depression but even if i had depression and wanted to commit suicide i would still choose a far less painful way since if you smoke you can get emphysema, cancer which can form in your throat which can lead to you getting that hole in your neck which requires you to use a voice box to talk (can't spell the name of the procedure), cancer which can form on your mouth making you look very very unplesent (i don't judge people on looks when trying to find someone to date (seems like i'm the only one) but even i wouldn't be with someone with a mouth disfigured from cancer caused by smoking), you cough almost uncontrollable which i hate enough when i'm sick

Worm 2:

Spoiler: ShowHide

No, i'm 22 going on 23 and i still live with my parents but i pay $200 a fortnight for rent and upkeep + $50 for fuel to take me into work/back and when i need to do some shopping and $80 a month for the internet, i live pretty good cause i don't have to worry about utilities (at least until i move down the road to another place while my room is being renovated) but i help out where i can (and only when asked) so i help feed the animals, take the rubbish out, empty the dog crap bin, help bring stuff in from the car

Now i don't think 27 is too old provided your not mooching of your parents and your doing something with your life and that your not living their for the sole reason that there's no rent, even i was paying the same rent as i am paying now when i was on the dole during uni.....ofcause if you want to start a family of your own i think it's about that time you should move out unless your parents are like terribly ill in which case it's probably understandable to stay home and look after them (don't trust retirement villages, their just like doctors to old people, a one way trip)

[Blizzard]

Lol, am I the only one answering these things? xD

Worm 1: ShowHide

No. If smokers want to potentially endanger their own lives, that's their problem. But it's not only their problem if they potentially endanger the lives of others. I only have the feeling that the problem is not tackled from the right perspective. Smoking should be a disability and besides spending a lot of money on it, smokers should have a harder to sustain their habit. e.g. smoking in public places should be banned and if smokers want to smoke, they should do it in their private environment or places where they are allowed to smoke. This way smoking is highly discouraged as it brings many immediate (and short-term) disadvantages instead of just possible long-term problems.

Drinking alcohol is banned in public places and alcohol is not as hazardous to health as smoking so I think smokers shouldn't be treated better than people who drink, it wouldn't be fair.

Worm 2: ShowHide

IMO if you're finishing up college or if you have just finished college, it's marginally ok. But one should try to get away from their parents right after finishing highschool if anyhow possible. While I don't mind people living with their parents (which happens especially in higher poverty environments), staying with the can have serious repercussions on your psyche and development as an individual. In most cases kids don't agree with their parents with everything (in some cases they are in almost nothing) so staying with them will only cause stress. Other than people often lack a sense of independence which is also not good for the development as a person. While it's nice to have things done for you, you can't learn to appreciate the small things in life if you have stuff given to you or done for you.

I remember how I went away from home when I was 15. I was in a nearby city, going to school and living with a friend in an apartment which our parents paid for. We would come home for the weekend, but over the week we were in the other city going to school. While this is somewhat intense (heck, leaving home with 15, think about it), it was not bad. Sure, our parents paid for it and we had some allowance per week to spend, but that was it. We had to do everything else ourselves. We had to clean, cook, take out the trash, buy groceries, wake up in the morning (obviously using an alarm) and get to school in time. There was even other stuff, but I won't go into detail. This was one of the best things that happened to me. I was taught independence and responsibility at a young age. It not only helped me immensely later in life, it also gave me much more confidence in myself and my abilities. I might not be where I am right now if not for those 3 years. IMO this was an important part in my maturing process. The difference between a person who's never experienced that and one who has is huge.
The 4th year of school I was actually back at home and I went with a car to school every day (an about 20 minutes ride). While not as mind expanding as the previous 3 years, it was definitely something to go with a car to school. That taught me even more responsibility.

So basically, I believe that people shouldn't live with their parents too long as it will limit them immensely. During schooling is ok, but one should become their own person. I think this is one of the biggest problems in today's society. Most kids are taught the values and beliefs from, let's say, 50 years ago and so they end up immature, needy, irresponsible, etc. It is directly reflected in the number of divorces today compared to 50 years ago. Of course, people staying with their parents is not the only reason for that, the reason is (as I already said) that people aren't being taught the right things. But by staying with one's parents, they also never get the opportunity to learn it by themselves.

[KK20]

^ From what it looks like, yes. I'm not much of an opinionated person, especially for random topics like these. But to add on to that smoking question, here's an excerpt from my Drugs class I'm taking.

Background: ShowHide

Who decides what is fair? Many states now mandate that smoking not be allowed in specified areas (restaurants, bars, hospitals, etc.). Many places of business have similar restrictions. Smokers complain that this imposes on their rights since their behavior is being controlled by these mandates, and not a few have hinted that such mandates violate their rights. Physicians and health-care advocates identify the consequences of secondhand smoke on the bodies of nonsmokers who have the misfortune to be in the vicinity of a smoker as justification for these restrictions.

However, more than public spaces are affected. Suppose you are entertaining guests for a night, or for a weekend. During the course of that time you discover that one or more of your guests have lit cigarettes in your home or apartment, without the permission that common courtesy would require. Or, imagine that you have met someone who you find exciting to be around, an intellectual challenge, and who causes your knees to feel a bit weak. The only problem is that you are a nonsmoker, and s/he smokes. This person is unwilling to give up this vice, and informs you in no uncertain terms that you must either accept his/her habit, or end the relationship.

Questions: ShowHide

1. Do you think that cigarettes can be enough of an issue to break up a relationship? What about other drugs? Have you ever known such a situation to occur?

2. Does the majority of the population, in this case the estimated 75% who are nonsmokers, have the right to make laws regulating the 25% who are smokers?  Before you answer this, remember that 95% of smokers are addicted to nicotine. Does this fact influence your answer?  Why or why not?

They're kinda yes/no questions (the questions start off with 'do', 'does', and 'have'). I am merely content with just reading other people's views.

[Blizzard]

Worm 3, I guess: ShowHide

Yes, cigarettes can be an issue which can cause relationships to end. Other drugs are probably in a much worse position than that. Even though it sucks to make or be made to choose between the person you care for and an "addiction", it obviously shows that you don't care about the person enough to let go or try to stop with cigarettes/drugs. You care more about the substance than for the person. I think that this is only justifiable in extremer cases. I don't like smoking, but if a GF of mine would be smoking, I'd be ok with it as long as she keeps it away from me more or less.

Worm 4, I guess: ShowHide

You mentioned "violation of rights before". I want to build on that. What gives the 25% the right to violate the health rights of the other 75%? IMO this is a simple situation. Whenever a person violates the rights of others, their own rights are decreased (e.g. prison) so IMO making things harder on smokers is justified. The fact they are addicted does not change the facts and cannot be used as an excuse. Fact is that people have overcome addiction and a mindset of "I can't" is really just "I won't, because it's hard" and nothing more than an excuse.

[Memor-X]

Question 1 (worm 3)

Spoiler: ShowHide

I've been debating this with myself for a while, i have had no luck in finding someone to date but 2 conditions i keep is that they don't smoke and they don't do drugs

with drugs i'm dead set in not being with someone who abuses them but with smoking i'm starting to give leeway (out of desperation), i hope to find someone who doesn't smoke cause not for my benefit but for theirs and our daughter's (if i ever get one), because i'm stead fast loyal, if my partner was to die from smoking at an early age, i doubt i'll be able to find someone else (even more so if we had a daughter, i wouldn't remarry unless she was happy with you new mum) not to mention the pain of loss

Question 2 (worm 4)

Spoiler: ShowHide

yes, cause a nicotine addiction can be fed with patches which are harmless to other people, smoking on the other hand requires smokes and there's the secondary smoke that comes from them

[Blizzard]

Worm 5: ShowHide

If you are messing around with a member of the opposite sex (or same sex if you're into that) and things are going on smoothly, but suddenly that person tells you they are already in a relationship. But they are actually doing nothing to stop you from doing what you are doing. Would that be reason enough for you to stop even though they obviously want you to continue? Why?

my answer: ShowHide

Short answer: Nope, I'd keep going.

Long answer: I have learned a lot about human psyche and male-female interactions and there is one repeating pattern on both sides: cheating. People don't cheat by accident. "Oops, I fell on her and somehow my penis got into her vagina." People cheat with intent. They question is only how they rationalize it afterwards. Somebody in a satisfying and happy relationship simply does not cheat. For men it's often "Yeah, I don't really love my girlfriend." or "Yeah, we're not really together." or "She's hotter than my girlfriend. As a man it is my responsibility blablabla" ot whatever excuse they can find. With women it's a slightly different approach like "We went to his place and it just happened." or "He knew I had a boyfriend, but he continued anyway" or similar which is basically transfer of responsibility to the other person, but with the same end result. When I get into a situation like that, I am well aware what the other person is (or rather is not) thinking. I accept my part of the responsibility. What they do with theirs is none of my business. If they choose the rationalize it with whatever bullshit they can come up with, fine by me. I probably did her a favor since she didn't love him anyway or otherwise she wouldn't have done it. Am I rationalizing now? No, I am aware what I am doing. I'm just adding possibilities and try to see the positive side of everything.

[Memor-X]

Worm 5:

Spoiler: ShowHide

Yes, to be honest i would never do that, i can't see myself betraying the person i love like that. if it was my partner then i would expect that she would give the same answer (i would also expect she wouldn't do it in the first place) and i would want to try and fix things if our relationship got to the point where that could happen

On Good News Week there was a news report about a 000 call about a guy claiming he was begin raped by a koala but when police arrived it was the other way around, Paul McDermit made a similar joke to what you said Blizzard but he said "oh i was walking around with no pants and saw this koala in my kitchen, i went over to help it leave but i tripped and my *start smirking, can't even finish joke*"

and you know what's funny, the last season last year had a worm like this except it was more on the line of it you would cheat or not, i'll add it here to separate it from tonight's worms that i'll post tomorrow (get your god hats on, one is on religion........i think, they never clarify in the adds if it's one of the big worms

Worm 6

Spoiler: ShowHide

Is it ok to look elsewhere for sex if your not getting enough from your partner?

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My Answer

Spoiler: ShowHide

i'm fearlessly loyal and to me so No way in hell, sex has 2 uses, one is reproduction which is understood universally even in religion, the second is what can be debated between people. to me, sex is something that deepens the bond between people where one person in the relationship want to make their partner feel bliss for no other reason but because they love them and doesn't expect anything in return

[G_G]

Answer to Worm 6: ShowHide

If you're not getting enough sexual pleasure from your partner, I'm sure there's good reason behind it. Just talk to your partner about it. A lot of relationships tend to fail because of lack of communication. One person is usually too embarrassed or worried that they might hurt the other's feelings. Or they're just afraid of awkward conversations and would rather avoid them. You shouldn't be going around looking for sex just because you think you're not getting enough. You get into a serious relationship with someone, you're making a commitment.

I'm basing my question off of a personal experience and I'm really curious to see other people's thoughts on this.

Worm 7: ShowHide

Would you not date someone based on the fact that you both have entirely different religious beliefs?

Answer to Worm 7: ShowHide

I wouldn't use religion as a decision making factor. To explain, I myself have no real religious belief (I have my reasons for this) and with this, I don't think about religion and I don't care about religion. Don't get me wrong, I respect other people's religious views and beliefs and I won't ever try to change someone else's views. But since I don't care about religion, I don't let it interfere with my decision making. Religion has never been an important aspect in my life. So if the only difference between myself and this significant other was religion, I'd of course look past it. I understand that it can be difficult to be with someone and have different beliefs and traditions.

As much as it bothers me that someone would do that, I understand why and I see it from their point of view and it's a bit hard to call it ignorance. But it just means that the other person doesn't really want to try and they never really cared from the start. But I can't really blame the person either because it's how they were brought up religiously in their family. It's not entirely their fault. Something like this also goes along with disappointing their parents, so I completely comprehend. I just find it silly to ruin what could have been a good relationship, over religious views. Then again, religion has never been an important aspect of my life.

The only time I wouldn't date someone because of religion, would be for the fact that they're trying to shove their religion down my throat or that they're trying to convert me and "open my eyes" and "be able to enjoy life because 'God' is in my life now". Etc. I've ran into people like this and quite frankly, I've never gotten along with them. I know this sounds hypocritical towards my answer in the beginning, but I can't stand people like this. And it doesn't just apply to religion either, it can apply to many things.

[Blizzard]

@Memor-X:

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I just wanted to add that I do have exceptions to my rule. I would never do it to the girlfriend of a friend (but I would tell him what happened, he deserves to know). And if I got in a situation where somebody was trying to steal my girlfriend and she's go with it, obviously I am not satisfying her properly. If that is how things are, then she may go and do whatever she pleases. Obviously this means that she's lost her chances with me though.

Worm 6 answer: ShowHide

If the relationship is exclusive, no. I'd talk about it with her and if she's not into it, I'd just end the relationship. There is no point that we continue a relationship where one of us is not happy emotionally or sexually. If the relationship is not exclusive, everything is a go. That goes for her, too.

That's because my view of sex is that it's not important. Sex can bond two people together even more (emotional sex beats casual sex every time), but that's probably not what it was for since we are the only species (except dolphins) who have sex for pleasure. I see sex as a good time spent and shared with another person, just being in the moment and forgetting about the world around you, only the two of you being important in that moment.

Worm 7 answer: ShowHide

I spent a good deal of my childhood in Germany which has various ethnic groups so having somebody around with different religious views was never really a problem for me. Two of my best friends back them were Muslims. The same goes for girls. I don't care what their religion is as long as they actually believe in the values taught, are not blindly believing because of certain reasons (e.g. just because their parents believe it) and are not trying to force their own religion onto others.

This rule also has an exception for me. Today there are certain religious views that are fanatic of blind-faith by nature, mostly sects. While I give everybody a chance to show that they are not defined by their religion, at the first sign such a person trying to convert me, I would stop dating them. Obviously yet again this isn't related to what they believe in but how they go about it.

I used to be Catholic, now I'm agnostic. That's not because somebody forced me into it, it is the result of my own decision and not blindly believing in it. I believe that everybody should have that same chance to choose. I will offer my view to others to help them make their decision (if they ask me for my view), but whether they believe in the same as me or not doesn't matter to me.

[Memor-X]

Worm 7:

Spoiler: ShowHide

For me in most cases but it heavily depends on the beliefs of that religion. I find the existence of a divine being which either created humanity, guides us with an invisible hand or demands that we follow its rules to get into paradise offensive, the first contradicts the laws of equivalence since even the soul of the divine is not worth the same as a human soul, the second means that all the pain i've put up with in life was by some grand plan that has yet to come to fruition and i will not be some divine's puppet and the third is dictatorship and also one of the reasons why we have conflict however i believe in the Mordrid and the Elemental Sisters (neither group are gods) and i have spirituality

despite this, if i was to date someone, it wouldn't matter to me if they worship some phantom as long as they don't force it on me or it doesn't impact our lives. stuff like not being able to eat certain foods during certain days or not having sex till marriage or even what days are "holy" to them i'm fine with but if they want me to start attending sunday church, change my eating habits to meet their beliefs or stop doing stuff that i do (play games, watch anime, maintain the Curse Array in my bedroom) then i have to call it quits there, i understand there has to be some compromise in a relationship but trying to change who i am is a no-no and if i'm willing to accept their religion they have to accept that i won't believe in any