Your Life Here

Started by Blizzard, May 24, 2013, 03:45:38 am

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KK20

I seriously wish I could write a more meaningful post but I have yet to experience a serious lost in family or friends. I have told you countless of times that you are an amazingly strong individual and I admire your character in every way.

Just take your time and return to us with an iron fist.

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Blizzard

My condolences, gameus. :(

Always remember that the pain and misery you feel now will pass and after that you can remember your friend's awesomeness for what it was: awesome. You just have to push through and bear with the pain right now.
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Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

G_G

Thanks guys, I really appreciate all the advice and good sayings. :) It's nice to have people like you guys. <3

Zexion

Okay, so I'm debating whether I should switch schools or not. Reasons why below:
1.) I have very few friends here. I don't really like the attitudes of most people here. Everyone is a pot head, and it's almost wrong not to be a pot head. Sorry, but I don't like it. As a result I spend many nights alone surfing the interwebs and watching youtubers. I have a few friends, like maybe 5-10. The school I would transfer to is back at home. I have tons of friends at that school (like 100+)

2.) It's very hard to get tutoring on this campus. I swear like wtf. If I want history, or english it's easy, but math and science are limited times and engineering tutoring is almost impossible to find aside from programming tutoring (which surprisingly I don't need).

3.) A girl I've been in love with for years is back at the other uni. She is giving me signs that I should make a move, and I can't just let them slide. I've known her since elementary and I've had a crush on her for over 10 years. She is finally showing signs that she feels the same :o

There are also some reason that I don't want to leave though.
1.) I have a dorm. My own space, my own solitude. I would be giving that up :(
2.) I love my programming professor, she is honestly the best professor I've had here hands down.
3.) By staying I guarantee myself to graduate with a major in Computer Science, Minor in Math, and certificate in Android Programming. I don't know that I'd have the same over there.
4.) I laahve my meal plan lol.

winkio

It sounds to me like that is a choice with no right answer.  The two options are sure to have different outcomes, but it is impossible to compare them.  If I were in your position, I would go with my gut, but you should figure out your own way to decide.

Blizzard

November 15, 2013, 02:15:32 am #85 Last Edit: November 15, 2013, 02:19:43 am by Blizzard
I think I can give you some insight. Look at the pros of both choices and see which one offers the most pros that cannot be realized in another way if you go with that choice. e.g. If you go back, you can forget your solitude, the meal plan and the great professor. But if you stay, you can still find friends (outside of campus) and meet another great girl. In other words, going back may be "nice", but you will lose a lot. And what if you misread the signs? What if lots of your friends have moved or moved on? It seems that you have big expectations from going back and if these expectations aren't met, you will basically be fucked. It's a high risk since you are giving up a lot and the gain is questionable.

You shouldn't try to relive the past and "go back to your comfort zone". Sure, you may be missing some things in your current situation, but you can make up for them if you try hard. So I'd say that you should stick with your current situation. Life isn't always easy and sometimes you just have to live through some things that may not be that great. But if you do it in order to have a better life in the future, you should totally go for it, because usually it's more than worth it.

And always be wary of trying to go back to the past. The only right direction is forward, never backward, even if it's hard sometimes.

I've heard a great quote the other day.

Quote from: from "The War of Art"Like a magnetized needle floating on a surface of oil, Resistance will unfailingly point true North - meaning that calling or action it most wants to stop us from doing. We can use this. We can use it as a compass. We can navigate by Resistance, letting it guide us to that calling or action that we must follow before all others.


It seems to me that your resistance is currently to stay where you are. That's why I think you should totally stay.
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Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Zexion

@winkio: I really think so too. I need to trust my gut, but it hasn't always landed me in the best positions >.< It's just ... hard because this choice could mean being with the girl I've been in love with foreeevver, or finding someone else and moving on. In addition to that it will change what degrees/certificates I will be graduating with and could change what job I would take in the future o.o

@blizz: You've really made me think. I do have high expectations, and they seem unrealistic, but I do know a lot more people back home. I just feel that I would open up more and be able to really reach my full potential both socially and academically. To be honest, I've already found someone here that I am interested in as well, and she definitely gave me those same signs.

Idk, I don't want to base my decision on one girl, but I don't want to just exclude her from the process either. I guess I will make sure to sign up for all my classes, apply at the other uni, etc. and I will try to see what happens in our relationship during the break, and whether certain other things go well. Idk, my life is getting ready to make a huge change here pretty soon you guise.

KK20

1.) I have very few friends at my school too. In fact, the only friends I have here are those that I see in my classes--it never goes further than that. All my other friends have either moved to a different state and/or go to a different school (my two best friends since I was 7 are both at UCLA). All my contacts are done through Facebook now, and even then, I'm lucky if one of them even replies.

Then again, I scored as an INTJ and am super maxed out as an introvert. You're probably an extrovert so my decision of social-life vs school is pretty one-sided.

2.) Math, Science, and programming... I wonder where you can find help on those subjects? *wink wink*

COUGHChaosProjectCOUGH

3.) I shouldn't comment on this as I've never had a girlfriend and pretty much accepted the fact that I wouldn't mind being single forever. (And refer back to 1)

Really it's all about your future. While moving back home may be beneficial in the present, it might not be as great for your future when all your friends will be moving on with their lives 4-5 years to come. If your current university has a better Computer Science program, stick with it if you see yourself working in the field years from now.

Quote from: Blizzard on November 15, 2013, 02:15:32 am
...you can still find friends (outside of campus) and meet another great girl

You shouldn't try to relive the past and "go back to your comfort zone".

And always be wary of trying to go back to the past. The only right direction is forward, never backward, even if it's hard sometimes.
How many times I have told myself this.

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Blizzard

There's a difference between telling something oneself and doing something.
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
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Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Heretic86

Quote from: gameus on October 29, 2013, 08:48:32 pm
For those who have read my shout, it's been a few bumpy days since last wednesday, October 23rd. One of my best and closest friends passed away. His funeral was today and it was absolutely horrid.

My friend David, five weeks old, got really sick and had a kidney failure. Ever since, he's been hooked up to a dialysis machine every night before bed. I remember staying the night at his house sometimes and he'd wake up, crying because of agonizing pain. But he'd never give up. He fought through. And despite his torture, he fought his hardest to live a happy normal life. He was never angry or mad or never cussed or mean or anything. He was always cheerful, energetic, very optimistic of everything. He was always there to be a friend and I knew I could count on him making me smile if I had a crappy day.

Toughed it out for 15 years. When he finally got a kidney transplant. After all the fight, the wait, the pain, he was free. And for four years, he was living healthy and happy. He could finally be "normal" as he put it. He savored every moment in his life and took every opportunity to enjoy everything it had to offer. Two weeks ago, he told me he didn't want to take medication anymore. He didn't want to have to get shots or get prodded with needles just to make sure his kidney was still holding up. It was the last time I had talked to him and it hadn't occurred to me that it could mean anything. He knew his time was up and he embraced it. His kidney started failing a week and a half later and got extremely ill. And the morning of October 23rd, passed away. I couldn't believe it, the one of few people who actually wanted to live and proved to everybody that he wanted, the very rare exception of a person, one who deserved to live, lost his life. My friend of 10 years was gone and I had no idea how to react other than to lash out in anger (I won't go into any of that, I've already taken my grief out on some very close friends).

The funeral was absolutely horrid. It had been the first time I'd seen his parents in two weeks and they still weren't hardly talking to anyone. Open casket, seeing his still body killed me on the inside. Not seeing him constantly fidgeting and bouncing around. Thankfully his parents were glad I was there, they started easing up throughout as I sat next to them through the eulogy. I said my final goodbye as they closed the casket, which I've finally come to terms with. I'm still very edgy and emotional but I'm trying my hardest not to show it right now. So I'm still gonna be uneasy and I probably won't be as active for awhile.

Anyways, thanks for letting me share my personal life with such an awesome community. I don't have very many people to talk to.


I am so sorry for your loss!

Death is one of those things that is so hard to cope with because we have to handle it internally, and talk about it, and doing either at the wrong time only makes everything feel that much worse!

I should apologize too.  I've been pestering on you about scripting stuff when I really should not have been.  Your friends and family need you as much as you need them.  Death is so hard to cope with that people dont really understand until they have to deal with it themselves.  I have dealt with the death of my father years ago, and recently a friend from high school passed away at a young age, and then I found out another guy that I went to high school also died in a motorcycle accident.  The guy that got killed was a total dick to me in high school, but I never would have wished this on him in a million years so even though I didnt like the guy, it still hurts like hell to find out someone you know is gone from the world forever.  Hell, I get worked up when I see a dead cat in the road that got hit by a car.

My experience has taught me that you are going to go through a lot of different things.  Some of the things you go through you wont expect at all.  You'll be angry about his death that nothing could be done to prevent it at some point and to some degree.  You'll see things that remind you of them for no reason.  So reacting to their death in a way that doesnt make sense should be expected.  Its just part of coping with the tremendous pain.  Eventually, you'll come to terms, but don't try to force things, just let them happen when you're ready to.

I know that someday, I'll die as well.  I want my friends and family to remember me for the way I lived, not the way I die.  I would want them to put the value on the things I have done, not on lost opportunities to do more.  But I dont want my death to hold anyone back.  I'd want them to keep going when they're ready.  Maybe we should both look at this from the point of view that life is a gift and we need to do everything we can with it because it is so precious, and many times we squander it by not doing something that allows us to appreciate how wonderful life can be and just letting life slip between our fingers and not doing what makes us happy.
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winkio

I have been very busy for about the past 5 weeks straight, due to overlapping deadlines from classes, fellowships, research, soccer, etc.  I ended up missing my final soccer game because my the alarm on my phone didn't go off (due to a software bug).  When I woke up, I realized how jam-packed my schedule was, and how much I hated it.  I don't want to keep spending 80-90 hours a week doing tedious assignments, attending meetings, and accomplishing nothing that bring me satisfaction.  I realized that I was stuck back in the same schedule as the last year of undergrad, which I vowed to avoid this year.

I'm not even sure what I want any more.  I was hoping that I would find some way to enjoy grad school, and I'll admit that I was before the month of November started, but I really don't want to go through this again twice a year for the next 4-5 years.  I doubt that I would find a job much more satisfying, as they are structured in a very similar way.  The one big thing I have learned is that in the future, I want to work for myself, either owning my own business, or running my own division or a larger group, etc.  Honestly, I would probably have a much better chance of getting employed this way in the gaming industry than in robotics, due to the prevalence and profitability of indie game studios.  While I'm not sure what I am going to do in the next year or two, I am now strongly considering a career game development with equal weight to a career in robotics.

WhiteRose

Quote from: winkio on December 05, 2013, 12:01:45 am
I have been very busy for about the past 5 weeks straight, due to overlapping deadlines from classes, fellowships, research, soccer, etc.  I ended up missing my final soccer game because my the alarm on my phone didn't go off (due to a software bug).  When I woke up, I realized how jam-packed my schedule was, and how much I hated it.  I don't want to keep spending 80-90 hours a week doing tedious assignments, attending meetings, and accomplishing nothing that bring me satisfaction.  I realized that I was stuck back in the same schedule as the last year of undergrad, which I vowed to avoid this year.

I'm not even sure what I want any more.  I was hoping that I would find some way to enjoy grad school, and I'll admit that I was before the month of November started, but I really don't want to go through this again twice a year for the next 4-5 years.  I doubt that I would find a job much more satisfying, as they are structured in a very similar way.  The one big thing I have learned is that in the future, I want to work for myself, either owning my own business, or running my own division or a larger group, etc.  Honestly, I would probably have a much better chance of getting employed this way in the gaming industry than in robotics, due to the prevalence and profitability of indie game studios.  While I'm not sure what I am going to do in the next year or two, I am now strongly considering a career game development with equal weight to a career in robotics.


From your work on Blizz-ABS and other projects here on CP, I know that you're both talented with scripting logic and creative. I think that you could create a great career out of it.

Blizzard

December 05, 2013, 01:53:12 am #92 Last Edit: December 05, 2013, 01:55:32 am by Blizzard
I agree with WhiteRose. Even if you work for a smaller indie company (rather than starting your own), you shouldn't have problems like this. After a few years of experience in the field, you can start your own company. This is most likely the path I am taking myself. While I still work at Cateia (and probably still will for another few years), I am working on personal projects and slowing getting things going for starting my own company with 2 friends. But regardless of everything, I love working at Cateia.
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Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

winkio

December 05, 2013, 02:26:26 am #93 Last Edit: December 05, 2013, 07:41:20 am by winkio
Yeah, I think the one thing I need to do is get all of my old projects together and clean up the code and polish up everything so that I can send people my portfolio.  I guess I will start on that as soon as the semester is over.

EDIT: thanks to not being able to sleep, I looked up the requirements of publishing on steam, and it appears that they publish C#/XNA games.  I think that would be an easier first step to take, and something I could do in the short term.  I have an idea for a physics-based metroid-like game that I could complete entirely on my own in a reasonable amount of time, so that is probably what I will do. 

WhiteRose

Be sure to let us know how it goes. Once it's done, I'll be sure to buy a few copies and leave good reviews. I'll give them out to friends to spread the word. :)

Blizzard

LMAO, I was just about to say something similar, but Rose beat me to it.
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Shek

Quote from: Zexion on May 24, 2013, 03:27:49 pm
You guys, I know that this is wierd, but I lurked on this forum for about a year before I signed up... I felt like I knew all of you (even tuggernuts, whiterose, and sub) The reason I never joined is because of my incredible shyness that obviously goes away after a while lol. It only took around 2 and a half years! :P


Same man.  I used RPGMaker2003 when I was a wee lad and enjoyed it so much.  Got the itch to make a game earlier this year and discovered Blizz Abs, which brought me here.

This community is amazing, and you guys are all celebrities to me.  Until I came here, I've been involved primarily with pro-gaming forums/communities (I played League of Legends competitively and before that Counterstrike).  Those guys are not thoughtful, not nice, and not particularly talented at anything besides clicking really accurately and quickly.

I have so much respect for all the hard work you guys do, but more importantly, how selfless you all are with your time when it comes to helping new people out!

So my life: I think my upbringing is similar to KK's.  I grew up in a wealthy community, attended good schools, got involved with music early on and now I am a concert pianist professionally.  After living in poorer parts of San Francisco after college, I discovered how fucked up the monetary system is.  Now my biggest passion, besides making games and piano, is to infiltrate and destroy our messed up financial system and replace it with something that doesn't fuck over 90% of the world's people.

WhiteRose

It's great to have you here, Shek. :) You've already done a lot for the forum, so no doubt there will one day be other people feeling like they're talking to a celebrity too whenever you respond to their messages. Haha. :D

As for my life, it's finals week at my University, so I've been a little spacey this week. Yesterday, I walked into my apartment after buying groceries. I wanted to make it in from the car in one trip, so I had piled myself high with everything to the point where I could barely walk. Anyway, I made it into the apartment, and there was this guy sitting on the couch, and he gave me this weird look. I wasn't quite sure what to do, so I stood there for a minute, holding my groceries and thinking about what this guy could possibly be going in my apartment.... And then I realized that I had gone into the wrong building. They all look the same on the inside. >.<

It was really embarrassing.

Blizzard

December 15, 2013, 04:43:45 pm #98 Last Edit: December 15, 2013, 04:46:03 pm by Blizzard
I started playing LoL myself around 2 weeks ago (I think). I'm level 10 right now and I've already had some great matches. I almost won a 4v5 match yesterday. We were literally 5 seconds away to take their Nexus, but they beat us to it.
Though my main point is that I was playing with a guy today who was really rude. Not only that, he was from Bosnia, a neighbor country of Croatia. I actually have 2 citizenships, both Croatian and Bosnian. So yeah, some people really have no tact.
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King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

KK20

Quote from: WhiteRose on December 15, 2013, 04:08:06 pm
Anyway, I made it into the apartment, and there was this guy sitting on the couch, and he gave me this weird look. I wasn't quite sure what to do, so I stood there for a minute, holding my groceries and thinking about what this guy could possibly be going in my apartment.... And then I realized that I had gone into the wrong building.

That's hot :naughty:

Moments of my childhood. Somewhere around the age of 10-12, I was taking a shower at the beach. It was one of those public showers--big building with lockable doors and two rooms to put your clothes at and the shower itself. It's one of those coin-operated ones too. Anyways, I hear like three guys, probably in their teens, barge in the room next to mine. The walls don't go to the ceiling; you can practically hear everything next door.

I overhear one of them saying, "Oh shoot (probably profanity variant but can't recall), we need money." Another then decides to call over to me: "Hey, person next door, do you have a couple quarters we can use?" Being a nice person and all, I shout back, "Yeah, I can toss some over." The next thing I hear is one of them saying, "Oh dang, it's a girl!"

...

I tell them to look out and tossed the quarters over. "You got a good arm there!" one complimented. "Thanks a lot!"
"No problem at all," I reply.

I could hear a woman outside asking, "Are you able to get the shower to work?" to the boys, and they responded with, "Yeah, the girl next door gave us some money." I finish up my shower, change into my clothes, and opened the door. The mom was still there, sitting on a low wall. I just gave the biggest grin as I walked away.

I hope I was the embodiment of their greatest fantasies.

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