All right everybody. I'm sorry to present you with this long story, but read away if you're interested! Your choice:
Okay, to start things off, background information on my family: I was born into a relatively large family. By the age of 4, I had two younger brothers, two older brothers and two older sisters. My father was abusive towards my sisters and mother, and by the time I was 7, my mother could finally find the strength to break it off with him and the two were divorced. My early school life seemed pretty normal. I went to one of those strict religious schools, but I got along with the people. Anyway, my siblings and I occasionally stayed with my biological father, but he kept harassing both of my sisters and so my mother tried to separate us from him. Over time, he both threatened her, occasionally broke into the house and did all kinds of crazy stuff. By age 9, my mother found a new partner and they had decided to move to some random town in the middle of nowhere (main reason being: to get away from my biological father).
The next part is where Lobstrosity comes into it: This town is where my mother married my now step-father and everything seemed to be normal again for the rest of my family. I had a terrible primary school life (So, from about age 9 to 13). I didn't have any friends and was constantly bullied by most of the children in my class - a complete change from what my old school was like. Another thing I hated was the education. I really liked being challenged academically, but this town had a bad reputation for having terrible education... So yep, being a young child with all this bullying and no friends, I used to come home and cry pretty much every day. My parents didn't know about this at first, but when they found out, they were constantly contacting teachers to do something about it. The teachers were no help, their ways of fixing it were things like 'sitting in the library with my bully and talking it out with them.' None of it helped, and this continued until high school. So in Year 8 (age 13), I went to a high school with completely different kids and continued to get bullied a lot for my first year - it was actually this year that I joined CP... I believe. By this time, my two oldest siblings had moved back to the city and my other siblings seemed to be having normal school lives. My second year of high school, I started hanging around (though I regret it) a bad group of people. Though I would never participate, they were nasty to others and would do stupid stuff all the time. There's a long story involved here, but to cut it short, I stopped hanging around them because they started making fun of me for not joining in, etc. Anyway, my older sister's friends (18) were dating some of the girls from that group (13-14... pretty messed up), so when she found out that they weren't very nice to me, she started telling her friends and then this whole crazy war began between all these 13 year-olds and 18 year-olds. I tried to stay out of it, but I became targeted by a lot of kids in my year level once again, and by older kids that were friends of my sister. Bullying became pretty bad again, and I had no friends, so my parents were trying to suggest ways of fixing this problem. I suggested that I move up a year level (as I would then be with a different group of people and get more of a challenge from school work). The school allowed it, so I was moved up to Year 10 (the final year level of the school I was at). That was about halfway through the year, and the rest of the year was average. I was still bullied in the yard by Year 9 students but in class, I was all right. There were a few nice people, though I didn't talk to them outside of class.
YEAR 11 (2012). I started at a new school AGAIN, and chose the 'suicide six' as my subjects (Maths A/B, Chemistry, Biology, Physics and English Specialist). I was again in classes with people I didn't know, as they all chose other subjects, so I didn't have anybody to hang around. However, my older brother was repeating this year level and so we were in almost all of the same classes. Now, my older brother is the 'player' kind of guy, and he got around with a lot of women, one of with became pregnant the year before. Despite him being my brother, I absolutely hated being in the same classes as him because he was the charming kind of guy that all the girls obsessed over and all the guys looked up to. Anybody that I began to hang around, eventually ditched me to hang out with him and I was again left alone for most of the year. By this time in my life, I wasn't even upset any more about being alone. A lot of kids would joke about this, calling me a robot because they said it looked like I had no emotion (people continue to say that to me now, even). Academically though, this year was all right. Because of the curriculum for Year 11 & 12 education, the teachers HAD to teach us at the proper level of education. This was a problem at first, because I had none of the assumed knowledge for my maths and science classes, but by the end of the year I was achieving A's and B's. During this year, I also found out a lot about my family. My oldest brother seemed fine, but my other older siblings weren't in the best situation. I found out that my two older sisters had severe psychological issues because of things that happened to them and young ages, so they would often go out and do stupid things. The brother who was now in the same year level as me started hanging around a bad group of people and also did some bad stuff. And this behaviour was even evident in my two younger siblings, who became very aggressive and disrespectful to others.
By the end of that year, my parents decided that they wanted to move again (My step-father, a police officer, wanted to get a better job in another town) so they discussed this with me and how it would affect my schooling. In the end, I decided that I would move back to the city, as it would be better for my education and so early this year I moved in with my grandparents to attend the same school I had gone 7 years prior. The start of my new/old school was... weird. Everybody was really friendly and came up to shake my hand (I'm weird with physical contact, so this was uncomfortable). So for once in my teenage years, I actually got along with people. And despite this year's work load being VERY stressful, I'm glad I'm not being constantly bullied and left out. However, I can't help but feel like I'm the odd one out in my family. I visited my older sister for the first time in over a year recently and she tried to convince me to go out for a drink with her. After declining, she went on about how I 'have to try things first to see if I like them' and how I can't be one of those 'straight-edge' people my whole life. After disagreeing with her, she told me that she was disappointed in me, and she really went into how disappointed she was. This is what got me thinking. It's like she was saying that I wasn't part of the family, and looking at the bad situations my other siblings were in, I started to feel like I wasn't. My mother told me not to think about that and that she was proud of me, etc, etc, but my siblings still always tell me about how boring I am to be around. My brother always makes a comment about me being 'the only successful one in the family', which despite being a compliment also makes me feel like I don't belong.
So this brings us to now. I'm halfway through my schooling, attempting to get into one of the most difficult to get into courses at university next year. So, A LOT of pressure involved in my schooling. Yet I also feel like I don't have a good connexion with the rest of my family, and though I get along with people at school, I still don't participate in any activities outside of school. So I've had a lot of depression issues throughout my childhood and had a terrible time at school yet I always ask myself why I never went to doing stupid things with drugs and alcohol like many others have done - is it because my other siblings had friends who pressured them into this, and because I didn't have friends the same didn't happen to me? Also, I'm not trying to say that I've had the worst life so far - I know that there would be a lot of people who would read this and think that it was nothing. There are a lot of details that I've left out (I didn't want to go too far into the depression that I suffered through the earlier years) but I've always kind of hidden my emotions from everyone else (much like what Winkio has said in one of his recent topics) to the point where (now), nothing really seems to affect me any more. Nobody really knows about my life except for a select few family members, but there you go. Posting this... to the entire forum... It's crazy...
Anyway, thanks for reading... if you did - I don't blame you if you didn't. But if you did, congratulations! I'd like to see your thoughts.
*Note: Sorry if there are awful grammatically/spelling errors. It is late and I can't be bothered proof-reading it. xD