Bloodwill

Started by winkio, September 09, 2013, 03:33:23 am

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winkio

September 09, 2013, 03:33:23 am Last Edit: September 09, 2013, 08:26:43 pm by winkio
Bloodwill


This is a story that I have been developing for around a month.  It is intended for a game at some point in the future, but since I do not have the available time right now and the story is still bouncing around in my mind, I have decided to post the story here as I write it.

---9/9/2013---Prologue

Spoiler: ShowHide
The End.

The words were all that was written on the page.  Did these two short words have some hidden meaning?  They must, for the old man whose eyes had been darting back and forth as he aggressively flipped through page after page was suddenly still, as if the two words had induced a hypnotic trance.  Time seemed to stand still, waiting to see which would flinch first, the words on the page, or the old man.  

"Well?" said a voice, shattering the calm.  "Is it up to your standards?"

The old man looked up, meeting eyes with the person addressing him, and gave his reply.

"Of course not.  It's unfocused, unrefined, and largely unremarkable."

The harsh criticism was met with an amused smile.  The old man continued.

"However, that is the beauty of your style, even if it is directly opposite my own.  Despite the numerous obstacles and shortcomings, this story is surprisingly good."

The old man closed the book, gazing at the cover.

"This is the imprint of our lives.  This is how our children will remember my name.  This is how our story will become a part of history."

"Yes," the other man replied.  "This is Bloodwill."

The old man set the book on the table, showing a cover adorned with an ornate pattern and a single word:

BLOODWILL


---9/9/2013---Chapter 1

Spoiler: ShowHide
The story begins with a man in a library.  He spends his days ordering and cataloging the books on the shelves, and his nights reading them on his cot in the library storage room.  He leaves the library once a day to visit the market where he purchases food, as well as the occasional item of clothing or hygiene product.  This has been his arrangement for the past twelve years of his life, ever since the librarian took him on as an apprentice. 

It was the type of life that other people called lonely and boring, but to the apprentice it was comfortable, purposeful, and filled with exploration.  To him, books were islands filled with buried treasure and undiscovered wonder, and the library was an endless sea.  He was the captain of an expedition to explore it all, making detailed charts of every island on which he made landfall and gathering any treasure he could along the way.  It was an apt metaphor; he was chosen for the apprenticeship at young age due to his outstanding memory, and his role as apprentice was to help others access the information contained within the shelves upon shelves of books residing in the library.

The apprentice had even larger motives than exploration on his mind.  The profession of librarian was one of the few that allowed working class commoners to rise above their social status.  While many were commoners were condemned to a life of farming, blacksmithing, or serving in the army, he would have the opportunity to assume governing roles in addition to his responsibility as librarian.  One day, he knew he would be named Count, or Duke, or Governor, or even High Counselor.

ZAEREN!

The apprentice's dreams of grandeur were blasted away by the voice yelling from upstairs.

ZAEREEEEEEEEEEEEN!

Yes, that is my name, thought the apprentice, a smile forming on his face.  That is my name, for now.

Praelium

I like it. I like the way you write, MOAR!

winkio

September 09, 2013, 07:25:58 pm #2 Last Edit: September 09, 2013, 08:31:50 pm by winkio
I'm working on the next part, hopefully I can have it done tonight.  There is a lot of setting to establish about the world that this takes place in, but I am trying to come up with an interesting way to write it so that it doesn't sound like a history textbook.

EDIT: Chapter 1 is up.  It is short, just like the prologue, because it is intended for a cutscene.  Generally, chapters will not be too long, but most will be significantly longer than this one, and correspond to somewhat longer gameplay segments.

Praelium

Quote from: winkio on September 09, 2013, 07:25:58 pm
as well as the occasional item of clothing or hygiene product


Since clothing is plurial, I think it should be hygiene products.


I liked the philosophy in the prologue, and to me, the prologue was set in a dystopian environment, while the first chapter seems more like today´s world. I liked how the character had so much mystery at first, the first chapter kind of blew this mysteriousness away... But of course, that´s just my opinion.

The story makes me want to write myself now.

Lobstrosity

@Praelium: He said 'item of clothing'. Singular.
Don't come any closer. I'm armed... with SCIENCE!

Praelium

Quote from: Lobstrosity on September 10, 2013, 09:35:21 am
@Praelium: He said 'item of clothing'. Singular.


Indeed, oh hell, I read it as ¨as well as the occasional purchase of clothing or hygiene product¨

WhiteRose

I finally had the chance to read through your story, winkio. I really like what you have so far. I can't wait to read the next part once you get some time to write it. No rush, though. :)