Started by Ryex, September 29, 2014, 12:31:24 am

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I think I've mentioned it a few times in the past, but me and my family don't get along very well. Infact I'd say we're rather distant.

As a whole my family is christian. Not just generic american christian either souther baptist christian. to those of you outside the US that might not make a whole lot of difference to you but lets put it this way. When the liberal media points out an anti-gay, anti-evolution, 2ed amendment gun promoting, conservative, christian, they may as well be talking about a southern baptist. Now I know I generalising and promoting stereotypes here but the ideals held by both parties are for the most part senomous. each one held to different degrees from person to person sure, but most things they hold in common. Thats my family.

Now, I don't wish to speak ill of my family, I simply point this out to contrast myself. because all those things ^^? I'm none of them.

Infact you could say that everything I decided I didn't want to be I saw as a trait in a immediate family member. Now to be fair there are a fair number of traits in my family member I decided I DID want too, but only the whole I'd say I shaped myself in contrast to them.

My Mother:
In a lot of way is a classic American Housewife from the 60's. granted she grew up in the 60's. She devout Christian, attends church every week genuinely believes and lives the life, goes to retreats, goes to bible studies, donates 10% of the family income to the church, the whole shebang. She once say part of a drama on scifi where these two gay characters were talking about their romantic troubles and to quote her "That's disgusting". She is a social worker in child protective services and she's dam good. I dont think you could find another person willing to deal with the kind of stress of both social strife and bureaucracy that comes with that kind of job and still be compassionate about it. She is a great mother, she raised me after all, and always supports me even when my dad won't. She is a neat freak, every weekend the house is cleaned from top to bottom and if you aren't helping with the effort you damn well better not be impeding it. She is practical and responsible, My mom is the one in charge of family finances, she pays the bills, she does the taxes, she buys the groceries. and while I've learned over the years that we are actually in the lower half of the middle class we've always seems to be well off and there is always money for emergencies or medical bills. (cancer surgeries, horse that developed asma, car accidents etc., all the while remodeling the house)

My Father:
Is in some ways a polar opposite to my mother. he's messy, he grew up with his mother cleaning up all his messes and to be frank I've seen him clean a bathroom twice in 22 years. He's a civil engineer and to him every problem is one to solve with an engineering mindset. he's a perfectionist and if you don't perform to his expectations you're not trying hard enough. He has an incredibly short temper, I can't count the number of times I've made him mad enough to blow up with seemingly inconsequential things. He's always right, even when he's not; this part has gotten much worse recently, I'm actually worried about his mental health, his stubborn nature and unwillingness to compromise over even small things is straining all his relationships, including the one with my mom. He's a tireless worker, if he thinks it's to help he'll work himself to the bone. he's always overdoing it and his age isn't helping matters. He's always working hard to make our lives better, even when he's mistaken on just how helpful his efforts are (I'm sorry but taking all the dishes and piling them in the sink with soapy water doesn't help us wash them, just makes it unpleasant to pull out and separate into those that need scrubbing and those that can go in the dishwasher.)

My Sister:
is a more liberal and artistic clone of my mother, she denies it but shes' a people pleaser and this has lead her to skip her 20's and head straight for the 35 year old single christian conservative lifestyle. in a lot of ways she's my best friend as she is a creative like myself and it's fun to share ideas with her. but she's not really her own person, just the daughter of my parents. I can't really share any part of my life with her outside of our kindred pension for story writing.

I'm a liberal (american definition), forward thinking, atheist, creative, engineer. I strive to be tolerant of everyone's social opinions even if I don't share them. I've developed a very long temper purely to contrast my dad so that while he's blowing up and making mountains out of molehills I can keep my cool. while I've inherited the engineering mindset of my father I always try to keep resent in my mind that not all problems can be so easily broken down. as such I made a hobby of examining social situations and people's reaction, a result of which is that I've become a bit of a manipulator (I'm good at steering situations to my advantage). While I can't claim my work ethic is as strong as my dads, I admire it and strive for it.

In Closing:
Family shapes us, I've worked to take the best qualities of mine and be the opposite of what I perceive to be their worst. They have provided a framework to gauge myself. I am who I am because of who they are.
But I would not do anything for them as the cliche goes. I love them sure but in the classic close family 'together through it all' way it's the kind of love you have for a mentor.

how have your families shaped you?
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