Good Jokes

Started by Shadonking, September 06, 2008, 08:21:21 pm

Previous topic - Next topic

megaman30796

"You know the world is going crazy," Chris Rock declared in 2003, "when the best rapper [Eminem] is a white guy, the best golfer [Tiger Woods] is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA [Yao Ming] is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush,' 'Dick,' and 'Colon.' Need I say more?"

Valath

January 17, 2011, 12:01:29 pm #141 Last Edit: January 17, 2011, 04:50:31 pm by Valath
A blonde walks into a shop, points at an item on a shelf and ask the clerk: "How much for that T.V.?"
He responds with: "Sorry, ma'm. We do not attend blondes here."
She leaves but comes back the next day, asking the same thing.
And she gets the same rejection for an answer.
But the next day, she devises a magnificent plan. She walks into the shop with a red-head wig and sunglasses on.
She then proceeds to ask the clerk: "Hello, are you in charge here?"
The clerk responds: "Yes, ma'm. How can I help you?"
The lady points at the same item and, with a victorious tone, asks: "How much for that T.V.?"
The clerk says: "Oh, sorry, lady. But we do not give any service to blondes here."
The blonde takes her wig and glasses off and asks, the clerk with surprise: "How did you know I was a blonde!?"
The clerk, pointing at the item on the shelf, tells her: "Well, that ain't a television, ma'm. That's a friggin microwave oven!"


So we have Pepito at home and his parents are desperate for sex. They can't do it with their son in there, though, so his father asks him: "Hey, Pepito, can you look through the window and tell me what you see out on the street?" And as Pepito turns around, the parents use that distraction to engage in some quality sexual intercourse.
"So, tell me, what can you see?", his father asks.
Pepito responds with: "There's a blue car, a brown dog, a strange man, a tall woman, a schoolbus... oh, and the neighbors in front are having sex."
His father, shocked, asks him: "How do you know that?"
Pepito answers: "Because they've put their son to stare outside the window, like an idiot."


A kid walks into a cigarette shop and asks the vendor: "Do you have any color cigarettes?"
To what the vendor responds: "No, kid. Just plain old white ones."
The kid leaves, but comes back for the next day, asking the same "Do you have any color cigarettes?" question.
The vendor tells him: "No, kid. You already asked and I've already told you that we don't sell color cigarettes".
The kid leaves and comes again for the next day and asks the same question to the vendor.
The pissed vendor responds: "Do you see any color cigarette here? We only sell common cigarettes!"
The kid leaves and anticipating his arrival the next day, the vendor comes with the idea to paint his cigars with different colors.
And just as predicted, the same kid walks to the counter and asks for color cigarettes, to what the vendor responds with a grin: "Sure, we got them red, blue, pink, green, black, violet, gray, and special silver and golden ones. Which will you buy?"
The kid answers: "Oh, I'll have a white one, please. :)"

Funneh or no fuh-nay. ;D
1998, I'll never forget it.

Blizzard

A rabby, a muslim and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender says: "What is this? A joke?"
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

G_G


Storm

What is the different between McDonald workers and ya mum weight?
I was working on the game called The Orion.
It would be nice if you can join our small community by sharing a little by little scripts/ideas at The Orion Forum

I am: RPG Maker XP Scripter
Project Working On: The Orion MMORPG Game, visit The Orion Forum for more information!
Visit my: Deviantart

LEVEL ME UP OR ELSE LEVEL ME DOWN, IT'S EASY! XD


megaman30796

i have no idea.

guess:
ya mum is heavier?
"You know the world is going crazy," Chris Rock declared in 2003, "when the best rapper [Eminem] is a white guy, the best golfer [Tiger Woods] is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA [Yao Ming] is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush,' 'Dick,' and 'Colon.' Need I say more?"

Storm

Quote from: megaman30796 on January 18, 2011, 07:28:27 am
i have no idea.

guess:
ya mum is heavier?


McDonald workers eat junk foods everyday so they are fat and I compared them all together with ya mum!!
Got it?  :wong:
I was working on the game called The Orion.
It would be nice if you can join our small community by sharing a little by little scripts/ideas at The Orion Forum

I am: RPG Maker XP Scripter
Project Working On: The Orion MMORPG Game, visit The Orion Forum for more information!
Visit my: Deviantart

LEVEL ME UP OR ELSE LEVEL ME DOWN, IT'S EASY! XD


Subsonic_Noise

Quote from: Storm on January 18, 2011, 07:38:09 am
Quote from: megaman30796 on January 18, 2011, 07:28:27 am
i have no idea.

guess:
ya mum is heavier?


McDonald workers eat junk foods everyday so they are fat and I compared them all together with ya mum!!
Got it?  :wong:

aweful unfunny joke is aweful and unfunny.

Storm

Quote from: Subsonic_Noise on January 18, 2011, 10:52:52 am
Quote from: Storm on January 18, 2011, 07:38:09 am
Quote from: megaman30796 on January 18, 2011, 07:28:27 am
i have no idea.

guess:
ya mum is heavier?


McDonald workers eat junk foods everyday so they are fat and I compared them all together with ya mum!!
Got it?  :wong:

aweful unfunny joke is aweful and unfunny.

That's why I called it funny failed... :naughty:
I was working on the game called The Orion.
It would be nice if you can join our small community by sharing a little by little scripts/ideas at The Orion Forum

I am: RPG Maker XP Scripter
Project Working On: The Orion MMORPG Game, visit The Orion Forum for more information!
Visit my: Deviantart

LEVEL ME UP OR ELSE LEVEL ME DOWN, IT'S EASY! XD


megaman30796

its better if any1 just post a link 2 the site that has tons of jokes!
"You know the world is going crazy," Chris Rock declared in 2003, "when the best rapper [Eminem] is a white guy, the best golfer [Tiger Woods] is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA [Yao Ming] is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush,' 'Dick,' and 'Colon.' Need I say more?"

Storm

Quote from: megaman30796 on January 19, 2011, 04:02:00 am
its better if any1 just post a link 2 the site that has tons of jokes!


Nah, it won't be interesting..
I was working on the game called The Orion.
It would be nice if you can join our small community by sharing a little by little scripts/ideas at The Orion Forum

I am: RPG Maker XP Scripter
Project Working On: The Orion MMORPG Game, visit The Orion Forum for more information!
Visit my: Deviantart

LEVEL ME UP OR ELSE LEVEL ME DOWN, IT'S EASY! XD


megaman30796

oh C'mon! Let's just read em all!
"You know the world is going crazy," Chris Rock declared in 2003, "when the best rapper [Eminem] is a white guy, the best golfer [Tiger Woods] is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA [Yao Ming] is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush,' 'Dick,' and 'Colon.' Need I say more?"

Makeshift

January 20, 2011, 05:35:20 pm #152 Last Edit: January 20, 2011, 05:36:59 pm by Makeshift
Heres one what did the face say to the nose  :w00t:

Spoiler: ShowHide
Stop Being so Nosey Huh Huh Cheesy right  ;)

Starrodkirby86

Quote from: megaman30796 on January 19, 2011, 05:31:25 am
oh C'mon! Let's just read em all!


My friend was reading off a list of extremely corny jokes.

It was painstakingly hilarious. Not in a, "THIS IS SO FUNNY!" way, but more of a, "This sucks so much!" style. But I don't really think it'd fit here. :p Why go through an endless list of jokes when we can just share only the best jokes with little cost to us!? :V:

What's osu!? It's a rhythm game. Thought I should have a signature with a working rank. ;P It's now clickable!
Still Aqua's biggest fan (Or am I?).




tSwitch

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least someone doesn't speed in the school zone.


FCF3a A+ C- D H- M P+ R T W- Z- Sf RLCT a cmn+++ d++ e++ f h+++ iw+++ j+ p sf+
Follow my project: MBlok | Find me on: tSwitch.us | Twitter | Tumblr

Makeshift

January 22, 2011, 02:21:27 pm #155 Last Edit: January 22, 2011, 02:55:07 pm by Makeshift
from the moment i  :ninja: saw this smiley i thought Whip my hair :rockit: Willow smith

Blizzard

What's large, black and steals your credit cards?

Sony Playstation 3

:xD:
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Spaceman McConaughey

What is long, white, and can pleasure women?

A WiiMote.

Subsonic_Noise

John Lennon walks around a corner and steps on a cookie.

Holyrapid