Masamune Exploration: The Spirit Ship

[skaraflame]

Welcome to the Official Masamune Exploration: Spirit Ship thread.
This is an RP title I've been working on for quite some time now, and It's nearly finished, With a full release in the Summer.

Storyline

Spoiler: ShowHide

A 17 year old boy called Masamune finds himself on a ship after a hole has been ripped in the very fabric of time.
This is no ordinary ship though.... It's a Ship driven by the mysterious Captain Lambart, who seems to know a LOT about the catastrophe....
The reason why this catastrophe (Named the 'Reality Crisis') happened was because a man, simply known as The Chancellor, wanted to be the World's greatest fighter and be the top Samurai, and so he killed the top 10 Samurai, except one. Master Osha was too powerful for The Chancellor and decided to revive all The Samurai. This included Masamune's Father. After Master Osha revived the Samurai, The Chancellor's son came from the Dark World and took the 10 Samurai's lives. All this caused The Reality Crisis and then Masamune and a girl named Teia were transported to a ship. This was no coincidence though.... this was fate....
The Masamune Trilogy continues this whole story.

Characters

Spoiler: ShowHide

Masamune
The 17 year old hero

Teia
Masamune's friend who he travels with

Kane
A 16 year old boy who Masamune saves from a cave

Osha
The Spellcaster who's heavily involved with the storyline

Blake
Sorry, If I spoke about this Character then you'd be spoiled

Characteristics/Races

Spoiler: ShowHide

Spellcasters: These have up to three lives, once they've died, they can either jump into their next life there and then or wait until they think the time is right

Demo

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=34ST4NZH

If there's anything else you need to know before you play it, just say so and I'll add it.

[Subsonic_Noise]

So, basically, some dude wants to kill 10 samurai, but fails at one, so he, of course, revives the other ones, only so his son, who lives in the Dark World for undisclosed reasons, appears and kills them again, which then causes time to be ripped apart? And that logically leads to two completely unrelated people being transported to a ship?
This must be the best story I ever read!

[skaraflame]

So, basically, some dude wants to kill 10 samurai, but fails at one, so he, of course, revives the other ones, only so his son, who lives in the Dark World for undisclosed reasons, appears and kills them again, which then causes time to be ripped apart? And that logically leads to two completely unrelated people being transported to a ship?
This must be the best story I ever read!

Some dude cheats his way to the top of the best Samurai in the world list, except he fails at one. So no1 decides to put everything right by reviving them all and he does. But the dude's son has already planned for this so he pulls them into the Dark World where he lives to steal the souls off innocent people. After they're pulled in, Time starts ripping apart since this wasn't meant to happen, and two unrelated people are brought onto a Ship by fate, since the ship's captain was heavily involved with the above events.

Help me ._. how can I improve that story without scrapping it completely? lol

[Gallifrey]

In my opinion, it's ... not a good story.
Before to write the story, you should create a universe, a world. When you have this world, you can imagine a story which takes part in this world. Some questions to help you:

- Who are the ten samurai ?
- Why ten ? Why are they so famous ?
- The Chancellor has a son, okay, who is the mother ?
- Who is Teia ? Just a woman who is here for the romance with Masamune ? :°

I hope it could help you. Sorry if you don't understand, I'm french and I'm not highly skilled ...

[skaraflame]

In my opinion, it's ... not a good story.
Before to write the story, you should create a universe, a world. When you have this world, you can imagine a story which takes part in this world. Some questions to help you:

- Who are the ten samurai ?
- Why ten ? Why are they so famous ?
- The Chancellor has a son, okay, who is the mother ?
- Who is Teia ? Just a woman who is here for the romance with Masamune ? :°

I hope it could help you. Sorry if you don't understand, I'm french and I'm not highly skilled ...

That's fine, I know what you mean.
I know, why not use your TARDIS to fly into the future to see if this is a popular game or not
(Yes, I'm a hardcore who fan XD)

[crzyone9584]

That's fine, I know what you mean.
I know, why not use your TARDIS to fly into the future to see if this is a popular game or not
(Yes, I'm a hardcore who fan XD)

Love the Dr. Who statement. There is a new season coming out! David Tennat is going to leave. How sad.

Any who i agree. There really isn't much back story for the samaurai or the girl.

[skaraflame]

That's fine, I know what you mean.
I know, why not use your TARDIS to fly into the future to see if this is a popular game or not
(Yes, I'm a hardcore who fan XD)

Love the Dr. Who statement. There is a new season coming out! David Tennat is going to leave. How sad.

Any who i agree. There really isn't much back story for the samaurai or the girl.

Ok, I'll be on that like a moth to a flame.
(thats what she said)

[Magus]

So, basically, some dude wants to kill 10 samurai, but fails at one, so he, of course, revives the other ones, only so his son, who lives in the Dark World for undisclosed reasons, appears and kills them again, which then causes time to be ripped apart? And that logically leads to two completely unrelated people being transported to a ship?
This must be the best story I ever read!

That almost sounded like sarcasm

Edit: lol, it is sarcasm 

[skaraflame]

So, basically, some dude wants to kill 10 samurai, but fails at one, so he, of course, revives the other ones, only so his son, who lives in the Dark World for undisclosed reasons, appears and kills them again, which then causes time to be ripped apart? And that logically leads to two completely unrelated people being transported to a ship?
This must be the best story I ever read!

That almost sounded like sarcasm

Edit: lol, it is sarcasm 

Nice to know what you think of my project -_-