Chaze007 ~Poetry~

[Chaze007]

Hello friends! I'm pretty sure you didn't know but I LOVE writing poetry.

Waits for tomatoes and rude remarks . . .

Anyway, here are my favorite poems that I wrote. I added a new one, trying to sound less angst.

Labyrinth In The Meadow: ShowHide

Growing around me, all I can see.
Is life itself, to an adequate degree.
These lucious meadows, built of green.
And this bright blue sky makes a brilliant scene.
We can sit on the hills, and watch the sunset.
We can listen to birds sing songs we'll never forget.
Hand in hand we can walk through the trees.
We can climb to the highest, and kiss the breeze.
I never want to awaken. This dream is mine.
Forever I'll be lost within this paradox of time.
Trapped within the labyrinth in the meadow.

My Inexistant Dahlia And Me: ShowHide

I long for the kiss that will never touch my face,
I long to be held within your empty embrace,
And I long for the relation that will never be.
We are destined to last forever my devoid beloved.
We are perfect for eachother my dove of naught.
This can't be a fatal affair that has no meaning.
Can't you see? We were meant to be.
My inexistant dahlia and me.

I Cry: ShowHide

I cry for the time that you were almost mine.
I cry for the memories you've left behind
I cry for the pain, the lost, the old, and the new.
I cry for the times that I thought I had you.

Liar! (Torn and Tattered): ShowHide

Your lies came out and smacked my face.
You lied! You lied. It makes a steady pace.
You cheated, and I dealt.
You stole, and I felt.
You must not know how much it hurt.
When you shoved me in the dirt.
When you slammed me to the wall.
When you just let it all fall!
You stole and broke us, yet stole again.
You cheated once, and once again!
My heart is shattered.
My blood is splattered.
But to you it NEVER mattered!
Because still I sit, torn and tattered.
You lied, you lied.
They're written on your face.
You lied, you lied.
Now someone else shall take your place.

My Never Ever Angel: ShowHide

My never ever angel never got to hear,
Hear her daddy's deep voice whisper in her ear.
Never got to hear us say we love you,
And we'll never hear you cry too.
My never ever angel never got to see,
See her daddy or even see me.
Never saw the bright yellow sun,
And we'll never get to see you run.
My never ever angel never got to smell,
Smell her daddy's hair or shaving gel.
Never got to smell freshly washed clothes,
And we'll never get to wipe your tiny runny nose.
My never ever angel never got to feel,
Feel her daddy's chest or hands made of steel.
Never got to feel us tickle her thighs,
And now we're left with the pain of goodbyes.

To You, My Heart I Give: ShowHide

Whenever I see you,
I feel the warmth of a thousand suns.
You make me complete,
Without you I am no-one.
When I'm not with you my heart cripples with pain,
Like a dark cloud, dropping endless rain.
So the days go by, nd still I see,
Your smiling face, looking back at me.
The pictures of you, in my head.
Are the last things I see, before I rest for bed.
You are the reason I live, and because of how I feel.
To you my heart I give.

I Repeat: ShowHide

Not for pleasure, I repeat.
Not to measure, I repeat.
Not for attention, I repeat.
Not for redemption, I repeat.
Now for him, I repeat.
Not for her, I repeat.
Not for this, I repeat.
Not to miss, I repeat.
Not for love, I repeat.
Not to shove, I repeat.
Not for hate, I repeat.
Not too late, I repeat.
Not for pain, I repeat.
Not in vein, I repeat.
What for? They retort.
To forget, I never announce.

Slitter's Wrist: ShowHide

I take one for every love I've lost.
One for all the pain I've caused.
And one just because, yeah just because.
These are the scars on a slitter's wrist.
To remind me of all the things I miss.
So I'll take one more.
The last, for the fatal kiss.

Dark Angels Grace: ShowHide

Would you believe me if I said I loved you?
Would you even care?
My heart, it's as dead as midnight Summer's air.
Would you ever hold me close again?
Or leave me to face the pain of losing you.
I wait as daylight dies,
I watch the dark night sky,
To see an unfamiliar face,
To be embraced, by the dark angel's grace.

You: ShowHide

Sparkle like diamons,
Glitter like dew.
Your eyes show this,
When I look at you.
Bright and beautiful,
Your smile shines.
Lucious lips,
And a voice that chimes.
I love all this,
Yes I love you.
And I love it when you say<
You love me too

[WhiteRose]

I didn't read through any of the narratives, but the poetry is incredible. I was quite impressed. Sorry, no tomatoes for you.

[Chaze007]

Thank yoouu.

[G_G]

I like them all. So deep and so greatly wrote.

[Chaze007]

Thanks lovelies.

[winkio]

I like it - your style is fluid and creative without being overbearing or fake.  Good work.

[Vell]

Yeah, I was amazed. They all flowed magnificently. The only one I didn't really like is the 'I repeat' one, but that's because of intense repetition.

I mean, I enjoyed this poetry. and I don't really like poetry very much.

[Chaze007]

Thanks all! I never knew people would like it this much..

[Diokatsu]

I enjoy poetry and I have a few complaints:

1. Teen angst much? Can you scream, "I feel bad because the world hurts me," any louder?
2. Quit the heroic couplets. They died after Pale Fire was written.
3. Melodrama.

That is all. Improve. Use this poem I just wrote in order to direct your approach to writing.

Causal strings, wrapped in rings,
where thoughts are bound, slowly wound
to a finer point like the incessant birth
of time's tick and it's solemn worth.
And the needle's point, wheedles down,
to a bare and sharp protrusion,
of fine and piercing disillusion.
Softer, ever graver, until ideas and words
collide, and like the evanescent Wonders
that distort our planet's guise,
we strive for truth, wrapped in couth
and illusory, but truthful lies.

Try and play with form.

Also, don't let me discourage you. I'm just trying to help you think of a different approach.

[Chaze007]

Heh, I like it when people correct me like you did.
I just started finding myself in poetry a year ago so yeah still rough.
and as for me, I like to take my sad and bitter emotions out in writing, as well AS screaming, so maybe I should scream it more ;D

[Diokatsu]

Heh, I like it when people correct me like you did.
I just started finding myself in poetry a year ago so yeah still rough.
and as for me, I like to take my sad and bitter emotions out in writing, as well AS screaming, so maybe I should scream it more ;D

It's not that, it's just don't just write about an experience, write about what you learned from an experience. It's no good if people just identify with writing if you really feel like touching them. Make a conclusion, tell a story with a purpose. It doesn't have to be true to life 100%, it should just be artistic and expressive of emotions and the ideas you gain from those emotions. and no, saying that you learned life sucks isn't a good idea. It's generally accepted as not very convincing. If you were to say that from your experiences you feel as though everyone fights a war with their feelings and sometimes they're out and lost, then do so. Make a story where a man is fighting with his emotions while on a battlefield and have him lose a hostage, or lose a fight because his happiness is losing to his bitter feelings. Only, don't do that exactly since it's way too cliche. But you get the idea.

[Chaze007]

thanks, I'll keep that in mind.

I enjoy poetry and I have a few complaints:

I read that as

I enjoy poetry and I have a few compliments:

so I was like..whathafah? heh.

[Vell]

Just checked to see what some people from another forum I go to thought. Arty's pretty much known as THE poet at that place, so his opinion should be worth something. /notintopoetrysoIwouldn'tknow. Responses came from a shoutbox, so read frm bottom up.

UltaFlame
One minute ago
Yeah, that's the forum I dragged him over from. (X)
Sundancer
2 minutes ago
Also, only skimmed, but pretty much agree with him.
Sundancer
2 minutes ago
That the same Dio here?
Artemis
2 minutes ago
I've seen a lot of poetry like that. He has to get over the self-angst, and once he does that he'll progress a lot further.
UltaFlame
2 minutes ago
Yeah, that's Dio for you. >.> pompous in his own way. (X)
UltaFlame
4 minutes ago
Ah. (X)
Artemis
5 minutes ago
Though I agree with Dio, really.
Artemis
5 minutes ago
The poem written in answer to him is sort of pompous
Artemis
7 minutes ago
they're* lolfail
Artemis
7 minutes ago
Not to say their bad, of course. He should definitely keep writing.
Artemis
7 minutes ago
Mmm. Very... emo-e. I used to be like that. Down to the narratives, even.

[Chaze007]

So everyone thinks I'm emo! D: haha, yeah..I tend to write what mood I'm in and usually it's very shitty.

[Diokatsu]

Just checked to see what some people from another forum I go to thought. Arty's pretty much known as THE poet at that place, so his opinion should be worth something. /notintopoetrysoIwouldn'tknow. Responses came from a shoutbox, so read frm bottom up.

UltaFlame
One minute ago
Yeah, that's the forum I dragged him over from. (X)
Sundancer
2 minutes ago
Also, only skimmed, but pretty much agree with him.
Sundancer
2 minutes ago
That the same Dio here?
Artemis
2 minutes ago
I've seen a lot of poetry like that. He has to get over the self-angst, and once he does that he'll progress a lot further.
UltaFlame
2 minutes ago
Yeah, that's Dio for you. >.> pompous in his own way. (X)
UltaFlame
4 minutes ago
Ah. (X)
Artemis
5 minutes ago
Though I agree with Dio, really.
Artemis
5 minutes ago
The poem written in answer to him is sort of pompous
Artemis
7 minutes ago
they're* lolfail
Artemis
7 minutes ago
Not to say their bad, of course. He should definitely keep writing.
Artemis
7 minutes ago
Mmm. Very... emo-e. I used to be like that. Down to the narratives, even.

I'd say I'm pretentious, myself. Meaning is the same basically, but pretentious is a much more pretentious way to say it. Nuances anyone?

[Chaze007]

thanks. I added a new one, labyrinth in the meadow.