[Choose Your Own Adventure] Captain Pimp

Started by Diokatsu, September 05, 2010, 08:38:10 pm

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So I was on /u/'s archives, don't ask, the other day and I stumbled upon an epic thread for a choose your own adventure game. I figured, why no try it on some forum and this is the only place I care to try it. So, faggots, let's lay down some rules:

1. The first post gets priority. If the first post is a joke or a troll, next poster gets priority. If your post is dumb or some gay shit like that, you won't get picked.

2. Your post should consist of some simple direction, no narration, no speech, no anything. An example would be, "Go up to the girl and talk to her."

3. If you get chosen as the flow-maker, aka your post is chosen to lead the story, you can't make another post for a while. Use discretion.

4. If someone else posts before you, delete your post, unless you can see how blatantly stupid and idiotic the previous post was. As such, only one person should be posting in between my narratives.

Ok, so if you want in, you can post anytime. No sign ups.

So here's the first in my series of CYOA Games:

Captain Pimp is your name, lovin' is your game. You seek to get it on (read: get some) with all the female residents of your ship. In order to do this, you'll need to judge the priority that each girl demands and how quickly rumor will spread if you do it with specific women. Make choices carefully.

Rules for this round:

Aqua: Can't we choose men as well? D:
Me: Fuck you no Captain Pimp ain't no homo.

Ulta: How much can we specify our choice?
Me: Shit bro just try it and I'll tell you if it's too specific or too broad or some shit.

CaitSith: Can I-?
Me: Fuck you no.

Your first choice is between 3 of the 5 girls on the ship. In your sight you have a small, cute and spunky girl who's not afraid to get a laugh out of anyone willing to listen. She's got bubblegum pink hair that she keeps hiked up in a ponytail, a plaid short skirt and a forest green tube top on. Another girl is a cripple, but your know she's very beautiful under all the bandages. You know that she's just in a temporary situation and her injuries will heal in time off the ship. She's got long dark hair with brilliantly blue eyes. The last girl is a mature women, who's been down on her luck gambling on the ship's casino. She's a bit downtrodden and in need of a good pick me up. She's got large breasts, a fun personality and an aptitude for drinking in long spells.

Who do you choose, or do you choose to wait until later?


The first girl, please. Pink hair, plaid shot skirt, and the forest green tube.


You walk up to the young girl, gettin' yo' swagg on. As you get closer you begin to notice that she seems a bit nervous, but her face isn't showing the signs. While it might have been have the vibrating hands or her tendency to shout out, "I DIDN'T TOUCH IT!" something seems amiss.

Once you get close enough she notices you. How do you approach her?



"So, little lady, what's your name? Do you mind if I call you Gorgeous?"

After realizing her perplexed look wasn't an awestruck stupor, you begin to rectify your previous statement.

"Hi, I'm captain of this ship. I'd like to get to know everyone a bit better and I was wondering if you could tell me your name."

After realizing your not a terrorist, rapist, politician, or hippie, she immediately brightens and replies in a sweet tone:

"Hey, my name's Monica and don't you forget it! I was bit surprised to hear that the captain was so young, but you seem alright I guess...it's not like I'm impressed or anything!"

She looks away, the bashful kitten, and tries to avert her gaze, but you can tell she's impressed by your manly captainship and your assumed girth. You know this was a good choice. What do you do next to seduce the sultry tsundere?


rape her in the anus
Jump off the boat and drown
Die from starvation
Uhm.. ask her if she's ever been on a boat before.


"Zo, soul sister, u eva b'n ON a bote b4?"

After realizing you had internet speak still turned on, you spoke again after turning it off.

"So, have you ever been on a boat before? If not, I'd be glad to show you around."

Stars in her eyes, she looked up at you and squealed in delight. She was obviously excited, but the boat or by you you didn't know.

"I'd love to explore the boat with you! Where are we going to look first?"

You hadn't thought this far, but three places come to mind: your own quarters, the bridge, or the store room. Which room will you choose?



As you walk towards the bridge, the chosen destination, you begin to ponder how to get in dat tight thang. She's certainly attracted to you, as if the pressure of her breasts on your arm wasn't signal enough, but does she really want it like that. For all you know, she could be the type to desire...commitment.

You struggle to choke down the howl of pain that almost escapes your maw as you think of such an awful idea. The result could be ugly.

As you reach the bridge, after engaging in gallant small talk, you ask her what she's interested in for hobbies. She replies quickly with:

"I'm not really into anything. No one likes me and everyone seems to think I'm just a freak. I think I'm really ugly."

So she lays the trap. you're well aware that she's just trying to get your sympathy, but is that sympathy enough to get in her pants? So what do you do next?


Compliment her on her stunning features, and inner beauty.


Quote from: Taboo on June 05, 2011, 09:13:36 pm
Compliment her on her stunning features, and inner beauty.

Dio hasn't even logged in since February. For future reference, you should check the profile of the person to whom you are replying before bumping a very old topic.


I do, however, frequently chat with Dio.

Mayhap I could persuade him to return.

He seems kinda busy with life and living, tho.


Darn, cause I found this RP quite humorous.




Quote from: Blizzard on September 09, 2011, 02:26:33 am
The permanent solution for your problem would be to stop hanging out with stupid people.


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