YAY FOR NECRO POSTING!
So I found my iPod, I was unaware I still had it, still broken, I've looked up several solutions, going to try them all out as soon as its done charging in its infinite reboot state.
EDIT: OMGAR So I decided to update iTunes and try and restore my iPod, holy crap it fucking worked! And the entire time it was running on the very low battery life it had! OMG THANK YOU!