The Storyline Service. Worldbuilding, Plots, Characters & Internal Consistency!

Started by Vell, January 07, 2008, 07:03:48 pm

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Diokatsu

Dr.Horlit is nice

Devlin is like cliche from all angles. He's just main character material, all throughout

Make him a liar. Make him a person who manipulates others if you can. And not in the whole code geass way, with random plot twist but make him ruthless. Try and avoid the cliche elements that anime uses. I mean...If you came on MSN i'd love to help further...

Vell

@Kukulkan check the title, yes we review stories.

sondex

"Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves." -Bill Hicks

"For some death is the end. For others, it is freedom." -Actually I just made that one up.

Long ago, there was a race of humans that sailed the galaxy. They were searching for a home to call their own. The found a world and named it Galantis. On Galantis lived mystical beings called the Archard, which means holy. The Archard were immortal beings. They never grew old. THese beings provided the humans with food and shelter. They educated them about how the world works  and about magic. The humans grew with the arechard and became plentiful in number. However, the amount of Archard stayed the same. Soon, the humans  took up many of the Archard's land. The Archard tried to explain to the humans the situation, but the humans refused to listen to them. Conflict followed and soon, war ensued. During the war, the device that was used to sail the galaxy was destroyed. The humans found out how to destroy the Archard through magic. As the war began to turn in favor of the humans, The Archard created a dimension to escape from the humans.  before they left, they cast a spell to make the humans forget how to use magic.They were never heard of agian.

Many centuries later, the humans had explored the world. One of the continents they found was the Kilail continent. There, two countries were formed. They had to divide the resources equally and therefore formed a pact never to take too much. However, winter came and food wasscarce  One country took more than it was supposdedto and war was waged once again. The war lasted for 30 years. Both countires were ravaged by the end. They decided to become one kingdom to help recover. The new kingdom was called the Kingdom of Haolin. Likewise, the war became known as the Haolin war.

Other kingdoms were formed by the other civilizations on other continents. One of such kingdoms was called Romulot.

The kingdom of Romulot was founded on weak land. The soil was infertile and poverty spread like a plague. The people were always subject to thievery and criminal acts. However, in such a weak kingdom,  would arise an unlikely hero...(wow, what a cliche.)
Ok.............HIT ME! XD (Zenon joke!)
<br />
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Quote\"I\'d rather be a noob with desire than an expert with no ambition.\" -sondex
<br />I teach music composition, mapping in VX and simple eventing techniques. I have 4 music tutorials now, but after my fifth, I\'ll do a mapping tutorial. If you wanna see some of my lessons, go here: http://www.eminweb.com/forum/index.php?showforum=86

Diokatsu

We should establish a theme firstly. Plot stuff sounds very typical, and very undeveloped. Of course, we don't know the full plot ;) so I can't say that. The war is nice, but I'd like to see the after effects of the war in the story, as in rival factions stemming back to the period of the war acting as terrorists and such. This character should probably have some of the effects of poverty, such as either an extremely pessimistic view on life, an extremely optimistic, not to mention cliche, view on life or a view that doesn't acknowledge his situation as bad, oblivious to some extent. He should also have a corrupt moment/period as he gains power/wealth and hates/is ashamed of where he came from. (maybe destryoing his hometown in a fit of rage? Kinda extreme though)

scoace13

k I need help for a storyline for my game currently i have maybe the first five minuets or so and i need more (obviously).

what im using:rpgmaker XP

what i have: main char(as of yet nameless) wakes up in sunny forest next to a camp fire (and other camping like stuff) he gets up and goes hunting for breakfast then when he gets back he starts to eat when he is surounded be the elementals they speak to him reminding him that the night previous he murdered his family(the will be interactive flashback) and they ask him why and he denies the crime they then chalange him to a fight saying that the spirits of life and darkness will determine his fate he loses and dies then in the afterlife (after some sidequesting) he gets the chance to be a godlike enitiy.

thats what i have so far if i could get help with this it would be much appricated.


thanks in advance.
scoace13, Eventman extrodnaire...so anybody seen any good movies recently <br />...whys is this here..........random fate...same reason im here...

Satoh

Ulta, are you familiar with .hack at all?
Requesting Rule #1: BE SPECIFIC!!

Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for a night...
Light a man afire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life... ¬ ¬;

My Resources

Vell

nope, not at all. i've read the three volume long one, but other than that my exposure to .hack is limited to two episodes of one of the animes. i dont know much.

and scoace, tell me more info on what the game should be like and I can see if I'll be able to help.

Satoh

Quote from: UltaFlame on October 24, 2008, 06:22:48 pm
nope, not at all. i've read the three volume long one, but other than that my exposure to .hack is limited to two episodes of one of the animes. i dont know much.


Well.... I don't know... that may be enough really... I can't be sure just yet, but the main character of my current RPG is Ouka (one of the characters from that very 3 volume series)

It takes place sometime before that manga, and explains how she became the powerful character she is in the books... other than that vague idea though, I have no idea what to make it about... it doesn't have to be anything deep an brooding, really a lighthearted plot would be fine, just enough to make it a reasonable distraction... the real fun will be in the gameplay and minigames...

In the end though I suppose its always your decision whether to try to help or not... if not, maybe I'll come back when I have more details fleshed out.
Requesting Rule #1: BE SPECIFIC!!

Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for a night...
Light a man afire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life... ¬ ¬;

My Resources

Vell

well, some ideas, perhaps you could make it be from when Ouka starts playin, an she all nubly. and even go as far as to the point of when she meets the girl who uses the magics, the rare hunter girl.

she wasnt always a werewolf, remember, and go back and check if she stated what class she was before, i think she did. remember: they stated some things that came in expansion packs, so dont have those thigns beforehand.

Satoh

Quote from: UltaFlame on October 24, 2008, 07:41:01 pm
well, some ideas, perhaps you could make it be from when Ouka starts playin, an she all nubly. and even go as far as to the point of when she meets the girl who uses the magics, the rare hunter girl.

she wasnt always a werewolf, remember, and go back and check if she stated what class she was before, i think she did. remember: they stated some things that came in expansion packs, so dont have those thigns beforehand.


You read my mind actually...

It is really the things in between that I have trouble with... I can do setup and finale... but everything else gets foggy.... (which sucks because I love to write stories...)

If you're interested in .hack at all beyond that though, you should check this place out.
http://dothack.wikia.com/wiki/.hack//Wiki

Thanks for the input either way.
Requesting Rule #1: BE SPECIFIC!!

Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for a night...
Light a man afire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life... ¬ ¬;

My Resources

scoace13

should be like how... this is my first game and i reallly how almost no clue what im doing
scoace13, Eventman extrodnaire...so anybody seen any good movies recently <br />...whys is this here..........random fate...same reason im here...

Satoh

Quote from: scoace13 on October 24, 2008, 10:09:20 pm
should be like how... this is my first game and i reallly how almost no clue what im doing


Its hard to make a game when you don't know what kind of game you want to make... O.o;

I don't mean to be harsh or anything, but I think you should think hard about what you want to do first.

Do you have a setup? War, giant robots, fantasy, someone out for revenge?

Do you have a character? Meaty warrior, demoness princess, mercenary, young man out to prove himself?
Requesting Rule #1: BE SPECIFIC!!

Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for a night...
Light a man afire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life... ¬ ¬;

My Resources

Vell

hey Satoh wanna get a place workin here?

Satoh

Haha, I don't know... you think I'd be good at it?

Maybe I'll help whenever I see something I can do.
Requesting Rule #1: BE SPECIFIC!!

Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for a night...
Light a man afire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life... ¬ ¬;

My Resources

scoace13

scoace13, Eventman extrodnaire...so anybody seen any good movies recently <br />...whys is this here..........random fate...same reason im here...

Vell

PEOPLE. THIS IS DOWN, INACTIVE. IM THE ONLY MEMBER DOING THIS AND I LEFT.

IM KEEPING THIS HERE INCASE I COME BACK.

ITS UNLIKELY, BUT POSSIBLE. NOW ALL OF YOU BE QUIET. FEEL FREE TO REQUEST, BUT DONT EXPECT ANY SORT OF RESPONSE.

scoace13

...so if someone else were to pitch in to help out then you could keep running this service right?? if so i can probably help somtimes.
scoace13, Eventman extrodnaire...so anybody seen any good movies recently <br />...whys is this here..........random fate...same reason im here...

winkio

February 03, 2009, 01:21:10 pm #77 Last Edit: March 24, 2009, 02:11:08 pm by GuardianAngelX72
what IT is saying is that IT has left this forum, and since IT was the only one running this, its now dead.  I'm not sure if it would be more effective to try and revive this one or what...

Punn

Unless someone as smart and somehow helpful as Ulta, stop replying, your only giving me some ideas to steal.  :evil:

Diokatsu

Just so people know, I'm still as active as ever. This thread shouldn't be the main place to discuss any ideas by the way. So long as you have MSN/AIM/Yahoo/Can get on IRC, I'll expect you to do just that. We can all PM each other, too. I know. I'm fucking brilliant.

I'll also expect you to TELL ME when you're on IRC, consider I'll never go on there. I doubt any of you actually care though, so Merry Christmas!

EDIT: Tell Me. Ha, I made an allusion. Wow, I'm a better writer than I even knew.