Story

[winkio]

I mean, there's no need to narrate all the puzzles and treasure chests, but you could actually link up the story with some of the dungeons if you wanted (you don't have to though).

[WhiteRose]

I mean, there's no need to narrate all the puzzles and treasure chests, but you could actually link up the story with some of the dungeons if you wanted (you don't have to though).

Oh, I know. I'm just saying, I'm not going to give turn-by-turn directions in the narrative, primarily because it would be terribly boring to read (and write!,) but also because I don't know the actual layout of the dungeons. I'll still write a few pieces of dialogue and various events for each dungeon.

EDIT: What do you think of the concept of having a few dialogue segments that can occur during random battles in between story events, in which the characters would say a line or two to each other about the fight, possibly regarding what is currently happening in the plot? Each event would only occur once, so they wouldn't get annoying and repetitive. I think this would add a little more depth to the characters and make the battles seem more like part of the story and less of a game-play mechanic. A similar system was implemented in Final Fantasy X.

Another idea would be having the characters have things to say while walking around the map. This was done in Dragon Age to fantastic effect, brightening up dull dungeon crawls, adding a lot of personality to the characters, and making the game much more immersive. For example, at one point one character complains to another about finding one of his socks in her bedroll, and at another one of the more enigmatic characters is asked about her history. Nothing vital to the plot ever happens during these snippets of dialogue, but they're definitely interesting. The only downside I could see to this is that, unlike Dragon Age, we're not using spoken lines, and so you couldn't continue walking around during the dialogue, meaning that it would interrupt the game. A possible solution would be to have the text windows appear, but advance on their own, and allow the player to continue moving despite their presence.

[winkio]

If you like the idea, work out the deatils (face sets, what features our message system would need, etc.).

[AliveDrive]

A possible solution would be to have the text windows appear, but advance on their own, and allow the player to continue moving despite their presence.

[winkio]

right, but if we do that, we would need to know who is saying the lines.  Would we just have their name, or their faceset, or their charset, or something else?

[WhiteRose]

right, but if we do that, we would need to know who is saying the lines.  Would we just have their name, or their faceset, or their charset, or something else?

In order to keep it as unobtrusive as possible, I think it would probably be best to just have their name for the on-map dialogue scenes. For the in-battle scenes, being able to see the rest of the scene won't be as important, as the battle will pause for the dialogue.

EDIT: Another idea that I had was that, in towns and other non-combat areas, rather than having your characters following you as part of a caterpillar or whatever we decide to do, they would go out and do their own thing. This would allow them to further establish their personalities as proven by what they decide to go do in their "free time," and provide the player (as William) a chance to go talk with them outside of entirely pre-scripted story scenes.

EDIT 2: Hmm, no feedback on that idea, I guess. Anyway, here's more of the story. I'll keep working on things and get more finished this weekend. Tomorrow will be my first entirely free day of the summer, so hopefully I'll get a lot done.

Spoiler: ShowHide

   Two things immediately came to William's mind when he awoke. Firstly, that it was very dark. Secondly, that it was very hot. He blinked a few times, trying to get his eyes accustomed to the darkness, but it was futile. Where was he? Racking his brain, he tried to think of what had happened since he had met the group of robed figures in the forest, but it was useless - he didn't recall anything. He must have been unconscious this whole time. From somewhere nearby, he heard a commotion - shouting and the clang of weapons could faintly be heard. Seconds after the noise stopped, there was the loud grating of a heavy metal door opening, and the room he was in flooded with light. Blinking, he was able to make out the silhouette of a figure wearing a suit of heavy armor standing in the doorway of the room, which he now could see was a small, prison cell-like chamber. Judging by the rough texture of the stone upon which he was sitting, it had probably been directly carved into a natural system of caverns. The figure mumbled something and turned to leave. "W-wait!" stammered William, getting clumsily to his feet. The figure turned back to him as if to respond, but before he could say anything, a shout echoed from the hallway outside.
"I found the prisoner! Over here, quickly!" His mysterious savior reached for his sword, but before he could draw it, he was overwhelmed by a number of armed cultists. William, trying to act quickly despite his pounding head and sleepy mind, quickly said a prayer of protection. For just a few seconds, the blows of the cultists were deflected from the armored figure, giving him enough time to draw his own weapon and counter attack. There followed a brief struggle; though the figure apparently knew his way with a sword, he didn't appear to be by any means a master of the weapon. Despite this, with William backing him up, he was able to defeat his aggressors. After delivering one last kick to finish off one of the cultists who had been struck to the ground, he turned back towards the cell, and pulled off his helmet. With a jolt, William realized that he was, in fact, a she. He hadn't noticed before, due the armor covering her face and body. Though under better circumstances she might have been attractive, at the moment, she just looked worn out yet aggressive, like a lioness after being stuck in a hunter's trap for a day or two. Her long, blonde hair was plastered to her head, and the dark circles under her bright blue eyes stood out sharply against her pale skin.
"Maybe you're not as useless as you look," she said, looking him over, unsmiling. Turning to leave, she added, "Well? Are you coming or not?"

[WhiteRose]

*legally doubleposts*

I'm just letting everyone know that I've updated the first post to include an up-to-date version of the complete story so far. I'll keep it updated from now on so people don't have to go hunting through this thread for the latest updates.

[winkio]

Everything seems good so far.  It fits more or less perfectly into what I've mapped for the volcanic zone so far.  Are we assuming Alice's father instructed her on the existence of William, and how to save him?

[WhiteRose]

Everything seems good so far.  It fits more or less perfectly into what I've mapped for the volcanic zone so far.  Are we assuming Alice's father instructed her on the existence of William, and how to save him?

Not quite. She actually didn't set out to save him at all. Her father was killed by the Cult (because he was a member that broke the rules, but she doesn't know that,) so she set out to hunt them down. She found them, but had greatly over-estimated her own combat ability, and was over-taken and kidnapped. The Cultists would have killed her, but they recognized the family crest on her armor (which actually had belonged to her father,) and decided to capture her and take her back to their leader. When they got back, they threw her in the dungeon and went to discuss what they should do with her, but she managed to get away and was looking for a way out. She just happened to stumble across William by accident. That's why she was going to leave him to find his own way out, but decided to let him come along when she saw that he might be useful in a fight.

She's going to explain this all to him after they escape as they stow away on a boat heading back to the mainland, though of course even she doesn't know some of the details (such as why the Cultists didn't kill her when they had the chance.)

[winkio]

Keep writing!  You're leaving me on a cliffhanger D:

[WhiteRose]

Keep writing!  You're leaving me on a cliffhanger D:

Sorry; I got a little distracted by something. I'll post an update tomorrow - promise.

EDIT: Added a little more to the story in the first post. It's not much, though; I was a little busy today with something else. Tomorrow I don't have any plans, so tomorrow's update should be a bit lengthier.

[winkio]

Yay!  The story fits so far with what I've mapped, but I thought I'd post some more details on the volcanic zone just in case you wanted to include them:

So there's two main levels of interior caverns each consisting of four arms spiraling outward from the central cone.  The top floor spirals right handedly and the bottom floor spirals left handedly.  The bottom floor is covered in magma and has important cult items protected by puzzles and traps, the top floor is more cave like and has rooms, prison, etc.  These spiral arms all have exits to the surface at the tip, and there are stairs connecting a few of the lower and upper exits outside.