Well, I missed quite a lot. Well done on the story, Rose. I am indeed impressed.
I don't really have much to add, but I think that this definitely needs more supporting characters. Also, alternatives names:
The creators - Different ones are feared in different areas. Different civilisations should have different names for them. Suggestions:
Quazla, Hejra, Xi Kan, Rol'tan, Firidori. I recommend the latter for the protagonist's home area.
The overgod - As above.
Quetzon, Ojira, Ho Ka, Bar'tul, Benedia. Again, the latter for the protagonist's home area.
The netherealm - As above.
Kletzakli, Uranja, Doko, Kolar'ka, Malavia. As above.
Next thing, the races. I think it's a bit boring if we just use humans, elves and dwarves. The archetypes, fine, but to mask the cliche a little bit, we ought to rename them.
Suggestions:
Humans - Kellians.
Elves - Mayri.
Dwarves - Dohil.
Also, I think the industrial elements shouldn't be everywhere. Magitech also ought to be around the place. But on that note, who should be the main industrialisers? The obvious candidate would be the dwarves, but it'd be interesting if the elves started it. Also, races. I'd like to see some tree dwelling dwarves, just cause it'd be hilarious. Elven miners as well. Finally, it'd be cool to associate each race with a particular element. I'm thinking humans - water, elves - air and dwarves - earth and then fire would be various demons or something. Maybe a nameless evil that doesn't actually exist.
And on that note, perhaps one of the creators isn't actually trapped? One or more, actually. Maybe some of them are with the people, others are responsible for the cult of creation's contact with the creators in the first place?