The latest programming language: C+=

Started by KK20, December 15, 2013, 06:43:21 pm

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KK20

Introducing C+=, the official programming language for feminists!
https://bitbucket.org/FeministSoftwareFoundation/c-plus-equality

Spoiler: ShowHide

:rofl: x infinity

I guess this topic could go under Entertainment as well, but hey, maybe we can evaluate the practicality of this language.

Even though I can already predict what would be said.

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Ryex

QuoteUnder no circumstances should the language be compiled, as compilation and the use of a compiler imposes an oppressive and toxic relationship between the high-level descriptive language and the low-level machine code that does all the labo(u)r. Instead, C+= is interpreted, which fosters communication, itself a strong female trait.


wow, just... wow.

QuoteWomen are more social than men. Hence, social coding should be the only option. The code only runs if it is in a public repo.


... The. Fuck. well, I guess that's one way to enforce opensource code.


QuoteInstead of "running" a program, which implies thin privilege and pressure to "work out", programs are "given birth". After birth, a program rolls for a 40% chance of executing literally as the code is written, 40% of being "psychoanalytically incompatible", and 40% of executing by a metaphorical epistemology the order of the functions found in main().


Buwha? so I can write my code but it only has a 40% chance of running as I wrote it and a 80% chance of doing something entirely different? forgoing to complaint iy that adds up to more than 100% the principle alone is absurd as it breaks all computational theory


QuotePrograms are never to be "forked", as the word has clear misogynistic tendencies and is deeply problematic. Instead, programmers may never demand "forking", but ask for the program to voluntarily give permission. "Forking" will henceforth be called "consenting", and it is entirely up to the program to decide if the consent stands valid, regardless of the progress of the system clock.


it's dead already, parallelism is a key requirement of modern programming.

QuoteForced program termination is not allowed unless the program consents to it. The process is part of the choice of the program, not the programmer.


say again? I can't force a program to close? just... what? why!? that's plain stupid! what if it's hanging? corrupting my ram or hard disk? leaking memory? hte program has to find it in it heart to not destroy my computer? because you know, programs have hearts.


QuoteOn 1s and 0s
The traditional binary foundation of 1s and 0s is deeply problematic: 1 is inherently phallic and thus misogynistic. Also, some 1s are 0s, and some 0s are 1s. It is not fair to give them immutable labels. Instead, we have 0s and Os as our fundamental binary logic gates. They symbolise/-ize the varying, natural, and beautiful differences of the female vaginal opening.
0 is to take the conventional value of 0.
O is 50% of the time 0, and 50% of the time 1. The determination of this depends on how the underlying logic feels at the moment.



Can't. talk. laughing. BUHAHAHHAHAHAHA


Quote
Anything that can be construed as misogynist will be corrected, thus:
private == privileged
printf(); == yell();
class Foo{}; == social_construct Foo{};
#include == #consider
break; == leave;
if() == check()
for() == check()
while() == check()
sin(x) == biotruth(x)
div == unite
'y's are strictly prohibited when naming variables; only 'x's are allowed


that last one. oh gods.

QuoteSocietal influences have made men often focus on the exterior appearances of women. This poisons our society and renders relationships to be shallow, chauvinistic, and debases our standards of beauty. To combat that, C+= is to tackle only audio and text I/O, and never graphics.


there are no words.

TL;DR

the entire premise of the language is idiotic. computational theory to data has been written to be efficient and sound of logic. based in solid math and science. and believe it or not  there are about the same number of women credits for advancing computational theory as men.

the constructs of the language are absurd.
1) there are no Boolean values  you can say maybe, I'm sorry but unless your dealing with quantum computation or using a system of logic completely foreign to me how does this work?
2) there is no flow control as it all "just a suggestion" the computer can decide not to check the condition. The fuck?
3) so many things wrong.

conclusion:

EITHER these people are crazy they but ARE furthering a interesting experiment in computational theory. they are writing a language that somehow crosses the boundary from classical to quantum computing I won't even pretend to understand how it works but good luck, I hope I can use the fruits of your labor some day.

OR they are bat-shit insane and are actually writing a classical language but renaming everything on a whim to give the appearance of their values. in which case have fun with that. I'll just sit over here and laugh as you write in that god aweful syntax and suffer through the snails pace of interpreted code.

either way, had a laugh, never show this to me again, i think I'm going to be sick looking at that horrible code. I though Id seen the worst when I had to use VB
I no longer keep up with posts in the forum very well. If you have a question or comment, about my work, or in general I welcome PM's. if you make a post in one of my threads and I don't reply with in a day or two feel free to PM me and point it out to me.<br /><br />DropBox, the best free file syncing service there is.<br />

WhiteRose


KK20

This line was written specifically for Blizzard:
QuoteBooleans are banned for imposing a binary view of true and false. C+= operates paralogically and transcends the trappings of Patriarchal binary logic. No means no, and yes could mean no as well. Stop raping women.


Quote from: Ryex on December 15, 2013, 08:29:36 pm
never show this to me again

Alas, I know Ryex's true weakness.

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WhiteRose

The code samples are equally hilarious and nonsensical. A comment in one of them reads:

Quote//the alphabet "m" should be banned because it reminds me of the word "man"


XD

Ryex

December 16, 2013, 12:39:06 am #5 Last Edit: December 16, 2013, 12:40:50 am by Ryex
further inspection informs me this entire thing was a troll by /g/ and /pol/. as traumatizing as the sample code is I now find this utterly hilarious especialy after  I read the source for the inherpreter


I'll translate it here in plane old c++ for hilarity
Code: cpp

#define INHERPRETER_CPP
#include "fixCPP.Xe"

#define attempt try
#define on_alternative_success catch
#define post_on_tumblr throw
#define support_group class
#define perhaps_and_equally_valid else

//*RYEX'S NOTE* the money shot
#define interpret(X) std::cout << (X) << " is not located on a public server, or the user is cisscum whose privilege is inhibiting the execution of equal programs.\n"

xi main (xi requestCount, strong** requests) {
   attempt {
       perhaps(true && false) {  //*RYEX'S NOTE* has approximately 1/10^6 change of returning false
           maybe (((identity)(request(feelings))) == PROGRAM) //*RYEX'S NOTE* has approximately 1/10^6 change of returning false
               interpret(requests[1]);
           perhaps_and_equally_valid
               plz::raise_awareness of_the_following requests[1] also " does not identify as a program right now\n"; //80 character limit is thin privilege  //*RYEX'S NOTE* prints " <programname> does not identify..." to cout
       } perhaps_and_equally_valid {
           plz::raise_awareness of_the_following "I don't feel like it, try again later\n";
           post_on_tumblr trigger("RAPE\n"); //*RYEX'S NOTE* throws error
       }
   } on_alternative_success (trigger oppression) {
       plz::raise_awareness of_the_following "ERROR: " also oppression.why(); //*RYEX'S NOTE* prints any error thrown
   }
}



basically an elaborate usage of the preprocessor to re name things in the languagae
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Blizzard

December 16, 2013, 02:45:33 am #6 Last Edit: December 16, 2013, 02:46:51 am by Blizzard
I didn't read the whole thing, only Ryex's rant, but it's hilarious. xD

And especially this:

Quote from: KK20 on December 15, 2013, 09:08:31 pm
This line was written specifically for Blizzard:
QuoteBooleans are banned for imposing a binary view of true and false. C+= operates paralogically and transcends the trappings of Patriarchal binary logic. No means no, and yes could mean no as well. Stop raping women.

Check out Daygames and our games:

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Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Ryex

what can I say, I'v been fostering ideas for writing my own language the past few months. and if I ever get my masters my thesis will probably be on language design (least thats the way I see it at the moment). even as a joke things like this are serious to me. as in, I'll give them a serious look, not like I'm going to be upset if you "do it wrong".
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Blizzard

No, this is an abomination. Let's not sugarcoat it. A language has to be reliable and logical at the very least. This "thing" isn't even close to either. And because of that it's hilarious as fuck.
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Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Ryex

I find it hirlious because the program as written does exactly what it says it does in the wall of text description.90% of the time it wont run because "it not on a public server" teh rest of the time it either "doesn't identify as a program" or cries rape.

I will say this, why ever wrote this used some pretty contrived as fuck macro layering to obfuscate the fact that it basically just pulling a random number out of it's ass.
seriously look at this
maybe (((identity)(request(feelings))) == PROGRAM)

I read that like so
"lets request some feelings and treat them as an identity, then see if that identity is a program, maybe"
but if you run the processor it becomes
"generate a float between 0 and 1 seeding with the current time. cast to an int to take the floor of the float, and see if we are left with 0"

this is a beautiful example of the magic macros can do.
I no longer keep up with posts in the forum very well. If you have a question or comment, about my work, or in general I welcome PM's. if you make a post in one of my threads and I don't reply with in a day or two feel free to PM me and point it out to me.<br /><br />DropBox, the best free file syncing service there is.<br />

Blizzard

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Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

PhoenixFire

My gawd what the hell did I just read...?

I once thought about how fun it would be to write my own programming language, and was even off to a good start. It was something akin to a rewrite of c++ with .net elements thrown in, and some qbasic thrown in =P (no judging.. it was the first language I learned and I liked how simple some of the draw commands were). I then realized how many issues I had with it, and just kinda threw it out; I also realized I had no idea how to even begin to make a compiler for it..

This language.. just.. wow..    I really hope that we find out it's some sort of elaborate joke and not something that they're serious about; I mean, I respect feminism and all (everyone has their own opinions and all), but seriously...?   =/
Quote from: Subsonic_Noise on July 01, 2011, 02:42:19 amNext off, how to create a first person shooter using microsoft excel.

Quote from: Zeriab on September 09, 2011, 02:58:58 pm<Remember when computers had turbo buttons?

Blizzard

Nah, it's just trolling. It's not real. I can't accept that such an abomination would be real.
Check out Daygames and our games:

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Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

ThallionDarkshine

December 17, 2013, 10:55:35 pm #13 Last Edit: December 17, 2013, 11:15:19 pm by ThallionDarkshine
I couldn't either. Especially this part:
Quote
Forced program termination is not allowed unless the program consents to it. The process is part of the choice of the program, not the programmer.

That's basically impossible to implement. All it would come down to would be a random chance that the program would exit.
And who really wants their programs not to exit when they go into task manager and end the task? That defeats the entire purpose behind end task.

Also, what???
Quote
Curly brackets are not allowed, as they perpetuate our society's stereotype of the 'curly' women. Instead, Python-esque indentation is used.

Indentation is fluid. Both spaces and tabs are allowed. At no point should the programmer attempt to use indentation to create actual hierarchy in code nesting, as that implies hierarchy in the code. Instead, code indentation is used only for aesthetic purposes.


This language is so weird and no one would ever use it!!!
Quote
Every program needs to be prefixed by, in addition to the license, a disclaimer: "If this program fails to operate, it is due the Patriarchy backfiring upon itself, and no refunds will be issued."


This had really better be a joke.
Quote
The traditional binary foundation of 1s and 0s is deeply problematic: 1 is inherently phallic and thus misogynistic. Also, some 1s are 0s, and some 0s are 1s. It is not fair to give them immutable labels. Instead, we have 0s and Os as our fundamental binary logic gates. They symbolise/-ize the varying, natural, and beautiful differences of the female vaginal opening.


I just looked through their samples, and hardly any of them follow their own rules.

G_G

That's the point. It's a troll attempt. This isn't an actual language since there is no compiler, you can't actually compile these samples or sources. I think it's hilarious, granted if a language like this did exist, it would be virtually useless considering you can't really do anything with it.

ThallionDarkshine

Yeah, but still, it's pretty hilarious.

bigace



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