Chaos Project

General => Entertainment => Topic started by: Shadonking on September 06, 2008, 08:21:21 pm

Title: Good Jokes
Post by: Shadonking on September 06, 2008, 08:21:21 pm
what does a man with a 10inc c*ck have for breakfast

(someone then says what)

you then say, well i had an egg this morning, lol

Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on September 07, 2008, 01:12:02 am
Whats the difference between a carnival worker and your mother?
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Shadonking on September 07, 2008, 12:35:24 pm
what is the difference
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Valcos on September 16, 2008, 12:38:17 am
10 inchs isnt that big  :huh:
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Shadonking on September 17, 2008, 06:39:54 pm
what ever come up with a random number :P

say 50inc if you think its funnyer
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Valcos on September 17, 2008, 08:03:20 pm
Lmfao....holy crap thats big  8-O

Well, I had egg this morning  :^_^':
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Shadonking on September 18, 2008, 05:03:44 pm
nice one :^_^':

any one else got jokes to share.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Starrodkirby86 on September 18, 2008, 06:44:49 pm
I've heard of this one recently, and I'm not a big fan of jokes, but oh well, let's see...

A panda walks into a tavern and orders some food. After eating the ordered food, the panda grabs out a gun, and then shoots everyone. One of the survivors of the shooting asked the panda, who was in the process of leaving, "Why did you shoot us!?" The panda said, "Read this about pandas." He gave the man a dictionary/encyclopedia. On the entry, it says: Panda. Eats, shoots and leaves.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on September 18, 2008, 06:54:16 pm
Starrod missed the point. You leave the joke to be answered by the next person xD
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Starrodkirby86 on September 18, 2008, 06:59:44 pm
Doing something like that is just a free post count excuse, and jokes aren't necessarily having to be a Person A Person B talk. It can be one humorous scenario, that is also a joke.

Besides, the instructions here were left pretty...vague. The first post could signify either you need someone to reply or you can just say a joke and instead of the second person replying you'll go (Second person says "What?"). It's kind of...open-ended, you know?
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Valcos on September 18, 2008, 07:32:51 pm
A guy walks into a bar.

Lmao... the other one i forgot who on the forum said it in chat but... its the one about hitler and the jews and clowns  :^_^':

Title: Re: joke's
Post by: cstb on September 19, 2008, 06:10:19 pm
umm...im thinking a guy walks into a bar then he throws a penny between 2 jews and watches them FIGHT TO THE DEATH!
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on September 19, 2008, 06:16:38 pm
That's one of the most incredibly racist things I've ever heard. If this continues I'll request a lock if that doesn't warrant one already.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: wolfi-- on September 20, 2008, 01:17:40 pm
A man driving a car stops near a lake. He gets down and asks a farmer sitting near the lake "Is this lake deep?" so the farmer says no and the guy tries to get his car to get through it. He then realises it is atleast 20 feet deep, his car sinks and he miraculously saves his life and tells the farmer, "Crazy ass! I could've drowned! You said it wasn't deep!" So, the farmer says: "I dunno sir, it comes to the waists of the ducks"

Badumpshhhhhhhh


/blizzardjoke.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: cstb on September 20, 2008, 09:06:26 pm
ok sry i forgot but im NOT racist!I just heard it on some youtube video with jeff dunham.lol.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Shadonking on September 21, 2008, 12:42:53 pm
YO dont worry, im sure no one is rasist here.

pluss the joke was funny :haha:.

but do be careful, we dont want people getting the wrong idea.


also the other jokes are great, keep them coming.

i'll try posting some more when i find some.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: cstb on September 21, 2008, 01:02:06 pm
u should see how jeff says it with his puppet Achmed the Dead Terrorist :O.o:
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Starrodkirby86 on September 21, 2008, 01:07:00 pm
Oh yeah, a very popular ventriloquism sort of gig...Really humorous. There's a lot of jokes, but it's definitely not the cleanest pot of gold...I'll link it here, that'll be my joke. :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: cstb on September 21, 2008, 07:59:02 pm
funny stuff...funny stuff...
Achmed says:I KILL the Jews!
Kool Aid Man Says:OH YEAAAA!!!
note im not racist.just mixing achmed with kool aid is not rly racist i think lol.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on September 21, 2008, 11:20:59 pm
Srs LARPing Action (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU)
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: cstb on September 22, 2008, 05:44:30 am
ZOMG!AWESOME JOKES IN THAT LINK!
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Blizzard on September 22, 2008, 09:16:59 am
That remembers me of this one...

An Afro-American and a Latino-American are in a car. Who's driving?

Answer: ShowHide
A cop.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on September 22, 2008, 10:52:17 pm
Racism strikes again xD
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Shadonking on September 25, 2008, 05:29:47 pm
i just got this joke from my sis. it made me lol.

HOW A MAN CHOOSES A WIFE

Spoiler: ShowHide
Choosing A Wife





A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.




The man was impressed.




The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.


Again, the man is impressed.




The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future
because she loves him so much.




Obviously, the man was impressed.




The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.




Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Blizzard on September 25, 2008, 05:42:05 pm
Lol, I know that one.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Shadonking on September 25, 2008, 05:54:57 pm
its been going around awhile now with people emailing it to loads of people.

but it desserved to be posted. :haha:
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Valcos on September 28, 2008, 08:46:37 pm
Lmao... Id probably do the same thing  :haha:.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: wolfi-- on September 29, 2008, 09:23:16 am
What did the beaver say to the tree?

Nice Gnawing you!

Yeah, it sucks.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Blizzard on September 29, 2008, 09:31:32 am
Actually I laughed. xD
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: tSwitch on September 29, 2008, 09:59:51 am
ok, here's one of my favorite jokes.

Spoiler: ShowHide

a Horse walks into a bar and sits down, ordering a malt whiskey.  The bartender obliges and brings the sullen mare his beverage, noting that this particular horse had a peculiarly long face.  He went back to work as the horse guzzled the whiskey, and ordered several more.  So the bartender, feeling unexplainable concern for the horse brought him a glass of ice-water instead of the whiskey and asked him what was wrong.  The horse said that his wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer, his oldest son was put to sleep due to a leg injury, and his daughter was raped by a latino stallion and is now pregnant with twins.  The bartender was shocked that so much misfortune had fallen this horse in a single day and said.  Heh, I got you to read all this expecting a punch line.  And all that time you spent reading is time you'll never get back.  By the time you realize this sentence means absolutely nothing it will have been too late to finish reading it all.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Valcos on September 29, 2008, 11:14:53 pm
PWNED!!  :^_^':

I dont tell jokes  :<_<:
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on September 29, 2008, 11:31:17 pm
I didn't even laugh!
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Blizzard on October 01, 2008, 12:24:01 pm
"Become a nerd xor get a life trying."

xD
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Pokol DaErran on October 01, 2008, 11:14:36 pm
A HORRIBLE joke I read somewhere.  :^_^':
Spoiler: ShowHide
A woman's house is on fire, but she won't come down from the roof because she would abandon her cat, who she clutches in her arms.  A man calls up "Drop the cat, I'll catch it!"  "Are you sure you won't miss?" the lady calls down.  "Don't worry!" the man replies.  "I'm a professional soccer player!"  The woman throws the cat down.  The man catches the cat, bounces it on his head three times, and kicks it over a wall.

And now for an even WORSE one I made up. :O.o:
Spoiler: ShowHide
A man walks into a bar and spontaneously turns into a winning lottery ticket.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Reygekan on October 01, 2008, 11:51:07 pm
There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that get the joke and those who don't.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Valcos on October 01, 2008, 11:56:36 pm
What are the other 8 types of people?  :huh:
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Blizzard on October 02, 2008, 05:51:25 am
There are 10 types of people. Those who understand binary and those who don't.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: ConflictX3 on October 03, 2008, 02:43:27 am
Banana - Knock-Knock
Man behind door - Who'se there
Banana - Banana
Man behind door - Banana who?
Banana - Knock-Knock
Man behind door - Who'se there
Banana - Banana
Man behind door - Banana who?
Banana - Knock-Knock
Man behind door - Who'se there
Banana - Banana
Man behind door - Banana who?
Orange - Knock-Knock
Man behind door - Who'se there
Orange - Orange
Man behind door - Orange who
Orange - Orange you glad i didn't bust down this door and kick your ass for ot letting my good buddy Banana in??


Actually, i kno this reaaaallly funny joke, but its it may be considered quite racist, i'm african american and the joke is about african americans, me and my friends find it hilarious but i wuld prefer if i got permission before i told it, n i would put it in spoilers as an extra precaution.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Blizzard on October 03, 2008, 06:59:35 am
I think it's ok. Just don't encourage racist behavior, it's just a joke.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on October 03, 2008, 10:54:20 am
Quote from: Blizzard on October 02, 2008, 05:51:25 am
There are 10 types of people. Those who understand binary and those who don't.


LOL
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: ConflictX3 on October 03, 2008, 12:26:57 pm
o.k here i goes:




How do you get a black man out of a tree?
Spoiler: ShowHide
cut the rope




.........lmao i'm sorry i'm tearing up at my comp
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Blizzard on October 03, 2008, 12:57:51 pm
Actually I don't get it. O.o;
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: ConflictX3 on October 03, 2008, 01:07:10 pm
lol o o.k,sry, i 4get the whole wrld dnt think like me n my friends do

think southern slavery, n how they use to hang slaves >_>
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on October 03, 2008, 01:08:00 pm
I think he'strying to say black people get the noose...Like black people are hanged
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Blizzard on October 03, 2008, 01:11:42 pm
I know that, but what has being in a tree to do with getting hanged on a tree?
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on October 03, 2008, 01:50:34 pm
Mistakenly, Conflict thought that Hanging people occured in trees. Typically, it would be done in a town square with a device to perform the deed. Of course, if the slave owner was cruel, he may have hanged the slave locally to avoid expense, assuming it might have cost something to frame a slave or to at least dispose of tyhe corpse
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Blizzard on October 03, 2008, 01:58:35 pm
Ah, he meant "on trees". Yeah, I thought so already, but still. It's not very funny. Flick can do better. :D
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: ConflictX3 on October 03, 2008, 07:28:09 pm
well actually the joke isn't mines, is just a common joke me and my friends say amongst eachother because of em found it on some website

but dont worry, as blizzard said, i can do better and i wont post again until i have something WONDERFUL :P

on topic:
Why does Barack Obama keep preaching about CHANGE?
C.H.A.N.G.E - Come Help a N-word Get Elected!

^ Dumb, just using to stay on topic
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Starrodkirby86 on October 03, 2008, 11:23:16 pm
My, that's...nice.  :roll: Oh the sarcasm is just oozing out of that sentence!!!

If you fellows want a whole bundle of jokes, I got some right here...Just wait. Let me dig up a link.

/me goes to find a link. After minutes, he comes back all bruised.


I have it! :D

http://forum.chaos-project.com/index.php/topic,67.0.html
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on October 04, 2008, 12:38:25 am
Quote from: ConflictX3 on October 03, 2008, 07:28:09 pm
Why does Barack Obama keep preaching about CHANGE?


Obviously he needs change...He's black, therefore is poor >.>;

Anyone have some change? Barack needs your spare change!

Note:::I am a Barack Supporter, and I am NOT rascist
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Valcos on October 07, 2008, 06:08:06 pm
Conflict... the rascists jokes arent that funny :O.o:. Not to be rude but if you and your friends enjoy making black jokes all the time.... thats a bit odd :huh:.

A guy wakes into a bar... and hes black :huh:? Yeah not to funny.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Pokol DaErran on October 11, 2008, 02:20:02 pm
Yet more horrible jokes. :evil:
Spoiler: ShowHide
A guy walks into a bar... and he's Arshes.

How do you know when your dog is spoiled?
Spoiler: ShowHide
A. He refuses to eat your homework.
B. He's constantly talking on his cell bone.
C. Another dog does his fetching for him
D. You're the one who sleeps in a cardboard box.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Valcos on October 11, 2008, 08:42:06 pm
Lol I liked the dog one :up: Think it should have been you sleep on the edge of the bed tho  :P
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Blizzard on October 12, 2008, 07:30:22 am
Yeah me, too. Cell bone and homework, lol!
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Shadonking on October 12, 2008, 01:16:04 pm
i my god, so my dog is spoiled  :P
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Reno-s--Joker on April 25, 2009, 02:48:57 am
D= WARNING Necropost. o_O And stereotyping.

This used to be one of my fave jokes, not sure if you guys will get it. xD

Spoiler: ShowHide

A British guy, an Australian guy and a Chinese guy are on a boat. Suddenly it starts to sink, so they all agree that they should throw something overboard to lighten the load.

The British guy says, "Well, there are plenty of these back at home" and throws all his teabags overboard.

The Chinese guy says, "Well, there are plenty of these back at home" and throws all his chopsticks overboard.

Then the Australian guy throws the Chinese man overboard. The British guy asks him why the hell he did that and the Australian guy replies: "What? There are plenty of those back at home."






[Yeap migrant joke.  :ninja:]
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Shadonking on April 25, 2009, 04:39:29 am
LMAO that one was funny.

its a shame we dont get more jokes.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: fugibo on April 25, 2009, 08:47:13 am
Mario, (http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=D3962381FA236ABC&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&v=xGE34VAqYTk) cats, (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwejo7YOhwg&feature=PlayList&p=_dV-tC0LVVo) a horse, (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZ-Okkpgeh4&feature=PlayList&p=_dV-tC0LVVo) and religion. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wq2rvlXLGD8&feature=PlayList&p=_dV-tC0LVVo)
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Shadonking on April 25, 2009, 03:12:42 pm
 :rofl:

That mario one is the best but they were all funny
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: G_G on April 26, 2009, 12:48:57 am
That mario is hilarious ROTFLMFAO XD
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: King Munkey on April 26, 2009, 12:58:36 am
I agree. I will probably post something here later too tired to look for anything.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Tazero on May 04, 2009, 05:24:28 am
A Chinese guy, an American guy and a Mexican guy are on a boat. Suddenly it starts to sink, so they all agree that they should throw something overboard to lighten the load.

The Chinese guy says, "Well, there are plenty of these back at home" and throws all his chopsticks overboard.

The Meixcan guy says, "Well, there are plenty of these back at home" and throws all his tacos overboard.

Then the America guy throws the Mexican man overboard. The British guy asks him why the hell he did that and the Australian guy replies: "What? There are plenty of those back at home."
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Reno-s--Joker on May 04, 2009, 06:55:17 am
Quote from: MetaKnight on May 04, 2009, 05:24:28 am
Then the America guy throws the Mexican man overboard. The British guy asks him why the hell he did that and the Australian guy replies: "What? There are plenty of those back at home."

DUDE

W.
T.
F.

You're really not helping me find excuse to increase your energy here. And I can tell you my standards are low.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Starrodkirby86 on May 04, 2009, 06:31:04 pm
Quote from: MetaKnight on May 04, 2009, 05:24:28 am
A Chinese guy, an American guy and a Mexican guy are on a boat. Suddenly it starts to sink, so they all agree that they should throw something overboard to lighten the load.

The Chinese guy says, "Well, there are plenty of these back at home" and throws all his chopsticks overboard.

The Meixcan guy says, "Well, there are plenty of these back at home" and throws all his tacos overboard.

Then the America guy throws the Mexican man overboard. The British guy asks him why the hell he did that and the Australian guy replies: "What? There are plenty of those back at home."


Epic fail makes fail joke win

And I don't have any joke myself here, so...Uh...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBm6M2PCRIU

And this isn't a Rickroll.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: fugibo on May 04, 2009, 06:33:03 pm
I've seen Meta's somewhere before.

You know, with the Australian and stuff, throughout.

Was that this thread...?

EDIT:
Meta, that's just sad. Fail Stick, ACTIVATE!
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: tSwitch on May 04, 2009, 07:17:08 pm
Re: joke's
Re: joke is

I lol'd
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on May 04, 2009, 07:35:54 pm
Quote from: Elite Four Starrodkirby86 on May 04, 2009, 06:31:04 pm
Quote from: MetaKnight on May 04, 2009, 05:24:28 am
A Chinese guy, an American guy and a Mexican guy are on a boat.


I'M A BOAT MOTHAFUKA!
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: fugibo on May 04, 2009, 07:59:46 pm
Quote from: Gym Leader Diokatsu on May 04, 2009, 07:35:54 pm
Quote from: Elite Four Starrodkirby86 on May 04, 2009, 06:31:04 pm
Quote from: MetaKnight on May 04, 2009, 05:24:28 am
A Chinese guy, an American guy and a Mexican guy are on a boat.


I'M A BOAT MOTHAFUKA!


Meta gets Owned, Pt 2.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Starrodkirby86 on May 04, 2009, 08:19:30 pm
Quote from: Gym Leader Diokatsu on May 04, 2009, 07:35:54 pm
Quote from: Elite Four Starrodkirby86 on May 04, 2009, 06:31:04 pm
Quote from: MetaKnight on May 04, 2009, 05:24:28 am
A Chinese guy, an American guy and a Mexican guy are on a boat.


I'M ON A BOAT MOTHAFUKA!

fixed
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: fugibo on May 04, 2009, 08:22:38 pm
I'm fairly sure he was making fun of the huge amounts of discrimination in it by saying that he was a boat. It's called irony >_<
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: King Munkey on May 04, 2009, 08:32:26 pm
QuoteBoy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother."
Santa - "Send me your mother."


QuoteA boy watches his mum and dad having sex he ask, "What are you doing ?"
His dad replies, "Making you a brother or sister!"
Boy say, "Do her doggy style I want a puppy."


Eh they are alright. I will maybe find better ones later.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Tazero on May 04, 2009, 08:37:08 pm
that was the point ... It didn't make sense nor was it meant to be racist, i have no means of being so ignorant. I have no problems and don't discriminate and plus it's a joke.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on May 04, 2009, 08:38:29 pm
Quote from: MetaKnight on May 04, 2009, 08:37:08 pm
that was the point ... It didn't make sense nor was it meant to be racist, i have no means of being so ignorant. I have no problems and don't discriminate and plus it's a joke.

Dude......

I'm



On



A



Boat
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: fugibo on May 04, 2009, 08:53:02 pm
Dio Ab? I dunn git it
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Starrodkirby86 on May 04, 2009, 09:05:13 pm
Quote from: Biker WcW on May 04, 2009, 08:53:02 pm
Dio Ab? I dunn git it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU

This alone is worth a good joke. A good laugh I can say. Great, great, song. o_o
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: King Munkey on May 04, 2009, 09:16:31 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIAdAYrF_l0
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: ShadowBlaze on May 04, 2009, 09:56:57 pm
Two ladies, a Yankee and a Southern Belle, are sitting next to each other on a plane. The Southern Belle turns to the Yankee and asks, "So, where y'all from?"

The Yankee replies, "I am from a place where we do not end our sentences with a preposition."

Without missing a beat, the Southern Belle bats her lashes and asks, "So, where y'all from, bitch?"


;)

EDIT: OH SHIEETT i just got another

A man frantically speaks into  the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor asks.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on May 04, 2009, 10:40:58 pm
Quote from: ShadowBlaze on May 04, 2009, 09:56:57 pm
Two ladies, a Yankee and a Southern Belle, are sitting next to each other on a plane. The Southern Belle turns to the Yankee and asks, "So, where y'all from?"

The Yankee replies, "I am from a place where we do not end our sentences with a preposition."

Without missing a beat, the Southern Belle bats her lashes and asks, "So, where y'all from, bitch?"


;)

EDIT: OH SHIEETT i just got another

A man frantically speaks into  the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor asks.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

I'M ON A FUCKING BOAT YOU NEWFAG! I'M ON A FUCKING BOAT!!!!!!!
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: ShadowBlaze on May 05, 2009, 02:41:37 pm
WTF ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY??? I'm on a boat is a song, what about it?
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: fugibo on May 05, 2009, 09:48:10 pm
I'm on a three-letter word related to Jocasta and Oedipus, preceded by a possessive second-person pronoun
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: G_G on June 11, 2009, 01:26:17 pm
A guy walks into a bar. He says to the bartender
"I bet you 50 bucks I can piss from that side of the bar into a glass on this side of a bar."
Bartender accepts
So the bartender puts a glass out on the counter while the other guy goes to the other side of the bar. So he starts pissing everywhere. He pisses all over the bar, jukebox, people and the bartender is just laughing so hard. So then he pays the bartender the 50 bucks and leaves.
A different guy comes over and starts cussing and getting all mad.
Bartender asks
"Whats wrong?"
Guy says
"I bet that guy 500$ that he could piss all over your bar and you'd still be happy."
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Shadonking on June 11, 2009, 03:16:00 pm
yeah iv herd that before but it is still very funny.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: fugibo on June 11, 2009, 03:20:03 pm
Quote from: Shadonking on June 11, 2009, 03:16:00 pm
yeah iv herd that before but it is still very funny.


Actually, it was kinda dull.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Shadonking on June 11, 2009, 03:22:31 pm
most jokes sound better when spoken, when you read them they all seem that way. but i remember finding it funny when some one told it me.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Vell on June 11, 2009, 03:23:11 pm
i chuckled a little. though I dont go for humor such as that.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on June 11, 2009, 04:01:09 pm
Awesome.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Calintz on June 11, 2009, 04:41:35 pm
A blond teenager is sitting on the living room couch with a confused expression written on her face. Her mother walks into the room and notices her daughter's discomfort, so she asks her ...

Mother:
"Honey, what's wrong?"

Daughter
"Is it REALLY true that babies come from the special place that boys put their COC**!?"

Her mother grows an equally puzzled look and responds ...
"Well yeah, honey, they do ... why??"

Daughter responds indifferently ...
"BUT WON'T THAT BREAK MY JAW!!??"
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: G_G on June 11, 2009, 04:52:19 pm
xD LMAO THATS HILARIOUS!!! The mother thought that the girl meant vagi** but the girl meant her mouth LMAO XD
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: fugibo on June 11, 2009, 04:59:00 pm
Quote from: game_guy on June 11, 2009, 04:52:19 pm
xD LMAO THATS HILARIOUS!!! The mother thought that the girl meant vagi** but the girl meant her mouth LMAO XD


'mazing, GG! You got the entire joke :V!
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Calintz on June 11, 2009, 05:53:52 pm
A Pickle, a cucumber, and a Pen** are sitting on a couch going on about how much each of their lives suck ...

The Pickle says ...
Man, my life sucks ... when I get big and hard, they throw me into a jar and seal me up!!

The cucumber says ...
You think that's bad!? When I get big and hard, they cut me up and use me in salads!!

The Pen** says ...
You guys think you have it rough!? When I get big and hard, they wrap a plastic bag around my head, stick me in a dark room, and slam my head against the walls until I throw up all over myself and go limp ...
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: G_G on June 11, 2009, 05:57:09 pm
xD thats hilarious!! Here's one

2 ants crawl into some chicks underwear while the chick's wearing it. They see two caves. The first ant says I'll take this cave you take the other and we'll meet back here.

They go into the caves, awhile later ther return.

1st Ant:
How was your cave?

2nd Ant:
It was gross. It was dark and gooey and smelled like shit.
Yours?

1st Ant:
It was nice at first. Nice and warm and soft until some bald guy started head butting me and spitting on me
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Calintz on June 11, 2009, 05:59:39 pm
Lmao, nice!!
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Vell on June 11, 2009, 06:03:35 pm
vulgarity. do not appreciate. however, this isn't a thread about me, carry on.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Calintz on June 11, 2009, 06:13:30 pm
ULTA!!
You totally put a damper on the mood here, hah.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: impulszero on June 20, 2009, 01:03:42 am
An Arab at the airport:

- Name?
- Abdul al-Rhazib.
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean male or female?
- Male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn't that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer run too fast!
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: fugibo on June 20, 2009, 08:37:00 am
That's racist.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Reygekan on June 21, 2009, 05:54:48 am
And yet, as an arab, I find it hilarious.

A black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who's driving?
Spoiler: ShowHide
The Police


What do black people get for Christmas?
Spoiler: ShowHide
Your TV
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: fugibo on June 21, 2009, 09:15:42 am
Quote from: Reygekan on June 21, 2009, 05:54:48 am
And yet, as an arab, I find it hilarious.

A black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who's driving?
Spoiler: ShowHide
The Police


What do black people get for Christmas?
Spoiler: ShowHide
Your TV



That's just as racist as the last one; however, it's dealing with Blacks, and they get special treatment. I call that "ZOMG **A*FR!#(!@R(R#$!@*%!@)%@#$*#$#&!@&$!#%#%#%!($*! GTFO!!!!@$@$!@(!!!!!!!!!!!1"
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Blizzard on June 21, 2009, 09:23:01 am
Racist: ShowHide
A jew, a black guy and a mexican walk into a bar. Bartender: "Get the fuck out!"
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on June 21, 2009, 03:50:21 pm
Quote from: Blizzard on June 21, 2009, 09:23:01 am
Racist: ShowHide
A jew, a black guy and a mexican walk into a bar. Bartender: "Get the fuck out!"


Generally true.

An arab walks into an airport. What are in his bags?
Spoiler: ShowHide
Bombs


^
|
|
That's rascist
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Kagutsuchi on June 21, 2009, 04:20:05 pm
A Swedish, a Danish and a Norwegian windowwasher was eating their lunch on the outside of the 17th floor of a skyscraper. Before they had opened their lunch packets, the Dane said, "if it is ham on my lunch, I will jump off." He opened his lunch, and discovered that it was ham on it, and he jumped off. The Swede said, "if it is cheese on my lunch, I will jump off." He opened his lunch, and discovered that it was cheese on it, and he jumped off. Then the Norwegian said, if it is fish on my lunch, I will jump off too." He opened his lunch, and discovered that it was fish on it, and so he jumped off too. After the burial, the widows of the Swedish, the Danish and the Norwegian windowwashers met, and talked together. The Danish widow said, "I don't understand anything, I thought he loved ham on his lunch." The Norwegian widow also said, "I don't understand anything, I thought he loved fish on his lunch." And the Swedish widow said: "I don't understand anything either, he made his lunch himself.."
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Diokatsu on June 21, 2009, 04:24:09 pm
Quote from: Kagutsuchi on June 21, 2009, 04:20:05 pm
The Swede said, "if it is cheese on my lunch, I will jump off." He opened his lunch, and discovered that it was ham on it, and he jumped off.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Blizzard on June 21, 2009, 04:24:35 pm
Yes, I noticed that, too.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Kagutsuchi on June 21, 2009, 04:29:49 pm
Fixed lol
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Tazero on June 21, 2009, 08:09:10 pm
Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues
wHAT do you need next?

Spoiler: ShowHide
Ten issues, you need socks.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: fugibo on June 21, 2009, 08:36:43 pm
Quote from: Tazero on June 21, 2009, 08:09:10 pm
Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues, Issues
wHAT do you need next?

Spoiler: ShowHide
Ten issues, you need socks.



Actually, I was looking for Frequent Readers' Sheets. Where do I go to redeem those?
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: GAX on September 18, 2009, 04:56:41 am
Quote from: Valcos on September 18, 2008, 07:32:51 pm
A guy walks into a bar.

Lmao... the other one i forgot who on the forum said it in chat but... its the one about hitler and the jews and clowns  :^_^':




So a man walks into a bar and he sees Adolf Hitler deep in thought.  He goes up and asks "What's on your mind?" and Hitler responds "I need to find a way to kill 6 million jews and 3 clowns."

He stands there thinking for a few moments until he just asks "Wait, why the three clowns?"

Hitler smiles and looks to the man.

"See, NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE JEWS!"


Anyways, time for my joke...

Who was the greatest prostitute of all time?

Ms. Pacman, for 25cents she'd swallow balls until she died.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: GAX on September 18, 2009, 05:45:03 am
DOUBLEPOST FOR GREAT JUSTICE AND MODERATOR PRIVILEDGE ABUSE!

Necrophilia:  The irresistible urge to crack open a cold one.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: G_G on November 02, 2009, 12:52:08 am
Hey if you've ever heard Lady Gaga's Poker face you'll get this one.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You poker face. XD
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Tazero on November 02, 2009, 06:27:51 pm
*facepalm*
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: G_G on December 07, 2009, 12:57:29 am
Feel free to remove this if its too dirty.
QuoteOne night a man, his wife and a friend decided to have dinner together, so after eating they opened a couple of bottles of wine. Upon finishing the wine the friend realised it was late and he should go home, but the man insisted he stay the night, because he was drunk and in no condition to drive. The man finally agreed.
One problem occurred though they had no guest bedroom and their couch was small and uncomfortable. So the man's wife said "Why doesn't he just sleep with us?" The two men agreed and promptly headed for bed.
A few hours after they had gone to sleep the man's wife woke his friend and said hey, wanna have a good time? The man was like NO he'll wake up. She said no he won't watch, so the woman reached over and pulled out one of the hairs on her husbands a** and sure enough nothing happened. So the wife and the man's friend screwed.
About an hour later the wife woke the mans friend again and said I want more. The man decided to test his friend to see if he was awake, so he pulled out another a** hair and he didn't wake up. This happened 2 more times and when the friend pulled out another one of the mans a** hairs the man turned over and said, "Look I don't care if you screw my wife but stop using my a** as a score board!!"
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: HolyJesus on December 12, 2009, 08:19:14 am
A blonde cop stops blonde a motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now." :haha:
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: G_G on May 18, 2010, 07:46:12 pm
Here's a good one xD

Whats 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?

George Bush's Tie!
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Subsonic_Noise on May 19, 2010, 05:30:05 am
A man walks into a bar and dies of lung cancer.


Yes, I'm good at this.
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Blizzard on May 19, 2010, 06:07:21 am
A policeman, a lawyer and a priest are in a plane full of children. Suddenly the pilot speaks over the intercom and says that both engines are damaged and that it will crash very soon. But there aren't enough parachutes for everybody. The policeman says "Save the children!" The lawyer says "Fuck the children!" The priest says "Do we have enough time for that? :naughty:"

This joke is a lot funnier when told IRL.
Title: Good Jokes
Post by: Subsonic_Noise on August 02, 2010, 09:17:42 pm
So a horse walkes into a bar and the Bartender asks "Why the long face". The horse has cancer.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Kett Shee on August 03, 2010, 12:45:09 am
The particularly disturbing part is...I actually laughed. .___.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Blizzard on August 03, 2010, 04:51:13 am
Topics merged.

Also:

A man walks into a bar. That hurts a lot.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Agckuu Coceg on August 03, 2010, 06:48:44 am
- Why programmers do not pour into the car the 95-th petrol?
- They're afraid that hangs.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Blizzard on August 03, 2010, 03:37:43 pm
Spoiler: ShowHide
(http://cheezcomixed.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/b7ca80ee-ad3c-4336-b262-0622d1df4e43.jpg)
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Aqua on August 03, 2010, 03:55:20 pm
Spoiler: ShowHide
(http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/1561/mcdonaldsfail.jpg)
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Diokatsu on August 03, 2010, 04:00:09 pm
Quote from: Aqua on August 03, 2010, 03:55:20 pm
Spoiler: ShowHide
(http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/1561/mcdonaldsfail.jpg)



Wow great copypasta from failblog.

By the way, isn't this thread supposed to have good jokes in it?
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Subsonic_Noise on August 03, 2010, 04:05:06 pm
Is dead dog in road, also is dead latvian, what difference? Dog have fur keep warm. also, freedom. Dog eat poop for pleasure and not just survive. So many thing!
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Agckuu Coceg on August 03, 2010, 06:53:13 pm
- What newspaper are you released this year?
- Why do I need the newspaper, when I have Internet?
- You go in toilet with keyboard?
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Diokatsu on August 03, 2010, 07:09:34 pm
Quote from: Shiny Magikarp on August 03, 2010, 04:05:06 pm
Is dead dog in road, also is dead latvian, what difference? Dog have fur keep warm. also, freedom. Dog eat poop for pleasure and not just survive. So many thing!


oh god i died.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Blizzard on August 05, 2010, 12:07:26 pm
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey would eat away the feet of my rooster, what would you have?
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Subsonic_Noise on August 05, 2010, 12:09:58 pm
A donkey.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Blizzard on August 05, 2010, 12:51:23 pm
No. Two feet of my cock in your ass.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: King Munkey on August 05, 2010, 01:30:28 pm
That made me Lol hard XD
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Agckuu Coceg on August 06, 2010, 10:23:48 am
Higher rating doesn't mean you have a bigger penis...

(Nyhm - Just loot it)
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: rodas on August 06, 2010, 02:13:58 pm
     A Mexican, a Salvadorian, and an Indian guy are on a boat. They finally find an island and decide to live there. The chief meets with the guys and begin a conversation. They travelers explain that they want to live there. The chief replies, "If you want to live here you have to pass a set of tasks."

The three guys agree to them and the chief tells them, "I want you guys to get familiar with the environment, so go to the wild and bring 10 of one type of fruit." The three guys leave for their first task and begin their search in the forest.

The Mexican guy shows up first with 10 apples. The chief says, "Well you have passed your first test. The second thing I want to you to do is to, without making any expressions , put the ten pieces of fruit in you @ss. If you make an expression we kill you." The mexican guy starts his test. 1...2......3..4......5.. The Mexican guy can't handle it and makes makes an expression of pain. The tribe kills him. The Salvadoran guy shows up soon after with 10 cherries. The same conditions are given to him and he starts his test. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8.... and this moment he starts laughing without stop. They kill him.
The Mexican guy meet the Salvadoran guy in heaven.. and he says, "so why did you laugh? You were so close to getting to live there." The Salvadoran guy laughs again and replies, "I saw the Indian guy come back with pineapples."
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Karltheking4 on August 06, 2010, 11:47:17 pm
XD

A man walks into a bar with a brown paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the bench. The barman asks "What's in the bag." The man responds by reaching into the brown paper bag and pulling out a man about a foot tall. He reaches in the bag once more and pulls out a grand piano, and then a piano stool, placing them on the benchtop. The little man sits down on the piano, and plays a magnificent piece by Mozart. "WOW!" says the barman, "Where'd you find him?"
The man responds by reaching into the bag once more, and pulling out an old, dusty lamp. He passes it to gthe barman and says "Rub it"
The Barman does so, and a genie comes out from the top of the lamp. "YOU MAY HAVE ONE WISH" commands the genie.

Without thinking the barman yells out "I wish I had a million bucks!"
The genie nods, and dissapears, just as a duck walks into the bar. Then another duck. Several more ducks. Until the bar is full of ducks, and the barman can see many more outside, perhaps a million.

The barman looks at the man. "I think your genie's a bit deaf. I asked for a milliion BUCKS not a million DUCKS"
"No kidding" said the man. "You think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Blizzard on August 07, 2010, 07:36:10 am
Lol, you fixed it. xD I was already like "wait, what, 3 inches only?!"
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: poxy on August 09, 2010, 09:38:07 pm
I got this one from a friend:

Women as explained by engineers:
Spoiler: ShowHide

1 To find a woman you need time and money therefore:
Woman = Time * Money

2. Time is money therefore
Time = Money

3. Therefore
Woman = Money ^ 2

4. "Money is the root of all problems"
Money = sqrt(Problems)

5. Therefore
Woman = Problems
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Jek on August 10, 2010, 12:44:24 am
I don't get how time is equal to money...
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: ShadowPierce on August 10, 2010, 01:47:06 am
->I think he meant this:
Proof that girls are evil: ShowHide
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs277.ash1/20480_106463979368772_100000155119199_170067_1043066_n.jpg)


It was adapted from the saying "Time is gold". @Jek


Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Jek on August 10, 2010, 02:39:53 am
Why must you kill the kittens?
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: ShadowPierce on August 10, 2010, 02:55:01 am
->Coz I like chopping heads off... :xD:



EDIT:
->Fixed!


Title: Funny Short Jokes
Post by: megaman30796 on January 16, 2011, 03:00:51 am
1--'Politics: "Poli" a Latin word meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures"'

2--"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers."

3--In Delaware, USA, 44-year-old John Finch broke into a house, drank 3 bottles of gin, 2 bottles of whiskey,           and got so drunk he couldn't make his way back out of the house.
In true idiot style, he then rang 911 to ask for help, and was arrested shortly afterwards!

4--Funny Pictures:
Spoiler: ShowHide
(http://www.funfacts.com.au/images/funny-toilet-sign.jpg)

Spoiler: ShowHide
(http://www.funfacts.com.au/images/funny-signs.jpg)

Spoiler: ShowHide
(http://www.funfacts.com.au/images/stste-prison-sign-free-image.jpg)

Spoiler: ShowHide
(http://www.funfacts.com.au/images/funny-sign-instructions-free11.jpg)

this is actually my profile picture!

5--Christmas related incidents such as:

A)Injuries from opening bottles of beer with teeth instead of a bottle opener.
B)Catching zippers on eyelids while trying on new jumpers.
C)Cracked skulls from falling asleep while throwing up into the toilet bowl.
D)Q. What does Santa call reindeer that don't work?
A. Dinner. :evil:
E)It was just before Christmas and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked the prisoner who was in the dock, 'What are you charged with?'
The prisoner replied, 'Doing my Christmas shopping too early.'
'That's no crime', said the magistrate. 'Just how early were you doing this shopping?'
'Before the shop opened', answered the prisoner

6--Job Interviews:

A)Candidate told the interviewer he was fired for beating up his last boss.
B)When applicant was offered food before the interview, he declined saying he didn't want to line his stomach             with grease before going out drinking.
C)Candidate said she could not provide a writing sample because all of her writing had been for the CIA and it was "classified".

7--Want to know what the first person to find out that cows produce milk was really trying to do
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Blizzard on January 17, 2011, 02:55:57 am
Topics merged.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: megaman30796 on January 17, 2011, 07:26:48 am
oh ok!
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Valath on January 17, 2011, 12:01:29 pm
A blonde walks into a shop, points at an item on a shelf and ask the clerk: "How much for that T.V.?"
He responds with: "Sorry, ma'm. We do not attend blondes here."
She leaves but comes back the next day, asking the same thing.
And she gets the same rejection for an answer.
But the next day, she devises a magnificent plan. She walks into the shop with a red-head wig and sunglasses on.
She then proceeds to ask the clerk: "Hello, are you in charge here?"
The clerk responds: "Yes, ma'm. How can I help you?"
The lady points at the same item and, with a victorious tone, asks: "How much for that T.V.?"
The clerk says: "Oh, sorry, lady. But we do not give any service to blondes here."
The blonde takes her wig and glasses off and asks, the clerk with surprise: "How did you know I was a blonde!?"
The clerk, pointing at the item on the shelf, tells her: "Well, that ain't a television, ma'm. That's a friggin microwave oven!"


So we have Pepito at home and his parents are desperate for sex. They can't do it with their son in there, though, so his father asks him: "Hey, Pepito, can you look through the window and tell me what you see out on the street?" And as Pepito turns around, the parents use that distraction to engage in some quality sexual intercourse.
"So, tell me, what can you see?", his father asks.
Pepito responds with: "There's a blue car, a brown dog, a strange man, a tall woman, a schoolbus... oh, and the neighbors in front are having sex."
His father, shocked, asks him: "How do you know that?"
Pepito answers: "Because they've put their son to stare outside the window, like an idiot."


A kid walks into a cigarette shop and asks the vendor: "Do you have any color cigarettes?"
To what the vendor responds: "No, kid. Just plain old white ones."
The kid leaves, but comes back for the next day, asking the same "Do you have any color cigarettes?" question.
The vendor tells him: "No, kid. You already asked and I've already told you that we don't sell color cigarettes".
The kid leaves and comes again for the next day and asks the same question to the vendor.
The pissed vendor responds: "Do you see any color cigarette here? We only sell common cigarettes!"
The kid leaves and anticipating his arrival the next day, the vendor comes with the idea to paint his cigars with different colors.
And just as predicted, the same kid walks to the counter and asks for color cigarettes, to what the vendor responds with a grin: "Sure, we got them red, blue, pink, green, black, violet, gray, and special silver and golden ones. Which will you buy?"
The kid answers: "Oh, I'll have a white one, please. :)"

Funneh or no fuh-nay. ;D
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Blizzard on January 18, 2011, 03:35:06 am
A rabby, a muslim and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender says: "What is this? A joke?"
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: G_G on January 18, 2011, 04:00:39 am
:rofl:
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Storm on January 18, 2011, 06:57:35 am
What is the different between McDonald workers and ya mum weight?
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: megaman30796 on January 18, 2011, 07:28:27 am
i have no idea.

guess:
ya mum is heavier?
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Storm on January 18, 2011, 07:38:09 am
Quote from: megaman30796 on January 18, 2011, 07:28:27 am
i have no idea.

guess:
ya mum is heavier?


McDonald workers eat junk foods everyday so they are fat and I compared them all together with ya mum!!
Got it?  :wong:
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Subsonic_Noise on January 18, 2011, 10:52:52 am
Quote from: Storm on January 18, 2011, 07:38:09 am
Quote from: megaman30796 on January 18, 2011, 07:28:27 am
i have no idea.

guess:
ya mum is heavier?


McDonald workers eat junk foods everyday so they are fat and I compared them all together with ya mum!!
Got it?  :wong:

aweful unfunny joke is aweful and unfunny.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Storm on January 19, 2011, 02:14:53 am
Quote from: Subsonic_Noise on January 18, 2011, 10:52:52 am
Quote from: Storm on January 18, 2011, 07:38:09 am
Quote from: megaman30796 on January 18, 2011, 07:28:27 am
i have no idea.

guess:
ya mum is heavier?


McDonald workers eat junk foods everyday so they are fat and I compared them all together with ya mum!!
Got it?  :wong:

aweful unfunny joke is aweful and unfunny.

That's why I called it funny failed... :naughty:
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: megaman30796 on January 19, 2011, 04:02:00 am
its better if any1 just post a link 2 the site that has tons of jokes!
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Storm on January 19, 2011, 05:23:54 am
Quote from: megaman30796 on January 19, 2011, 04:02:00 am
its better if any1 just post a link 2 the site that has tons of jokes!


Nah, it won't be interesting..
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: megaman30796 on January 19, 2011, 05:31:25 am
oh C'mon! Let's just read em all!
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Makeshift on January 20, 2011, 05:35:20 pm
Heres one what did the face say to the nose  :w00t:

Spoiler: ShowHide
Stop Being so Nosey Huh Huh Cheesy right  ;)
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Starrodkirby86 on January 21, 2011, 01:05:04 am
Quote from: megaman30796 on January 19, 2011, 05:31:25 am
oh C'mon! Let's just read em all!


My friend was reading off a list of extremely corny jokes.

It was painstakingly hilarious. Not in a, "THIS IS SO FUNNY!" way, but more of a, "This sucks so much!" style. But I don't really think it'd fit here. :p Why go through an endless list of jokes when we can just share only the best jokes with little cost to us!? :V:
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: tSwitch on January 21, 2011, 02:23:58 pm
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least someone doesn't speed in the school zone.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Makeshift on January 22, 2011, 02:21:27 pm
from the moment i  :ninja: saw this smiley i thought Whip my hair :rockit: Willow smith
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Blizzard on April 29, 2011, 05:19:36 am
What's large, black and steals your credit cards?

Sony Playstation 3

:xD:
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Spaceman McConaughey on April 29, 2011, 07:32:18 am
What is long, white, and can pleasure women?

A WiiMote.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Subsonic_Noise on April 29, 2011, 07:33:54 am
John Lennon walks around a corner and steps on a cookie.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Holyrapid on May 21, 2011, 12:48:20 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doAb4u8w-ek XD
Title: Re: joke's
Post by: Vishvesh on May 25, 2011, 05:39:34 am
Quote from: Starrodkirby86 on September 21, 2008, 01:07:00 pm
Oh yeah, a very popular ventriloquism sort of gig...Really humorous. There's a lot of jokes, but it's definitely not the cleanest pot of gold...I'll link it here, that'll be my joke. :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn5jlrxcpkI-Russell Peters  :haha:
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Spaceman McConaughey on June 17, 2011, 01:41:08 am
How many cancerous cells does it take to kill Steve Jobs?

...


We'll find out soon enough!
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Blizzard on August 14, 2011, 06:27:19 am
Here's one from Sickipedia.

Quote
I went to a fancy dress as Spiderman and shagged a girl dressed as Catwoman. We had the most amazing sex, but never revealed our identities to one another.

I told my family about it over breakfast. My dad high-fived me, my mum rolled her eyes and my sister ran off crying for some reason.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: AngryPacman on August 14, 2011, 07:00:26 am
Really Sick: ShowHide
What noise does a baby in the microwave make?
I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Blizzard on August 27, 2011, 12:34:50 pm
Here's another one from Sickipedia. xD

QuoteI was standing there, hands trembling, my wife due home from work any time now... I reached for my youngest daughter's top - it came off with little resistance.

Her training bra was my next hurdle. Hands still trembling, I gently unclipped it and unable to control my hands I watched it as it fell to the floor.

Her short little skirt was next, I reached out and slid it off. As I ran my hands slowly over her My Little Pony panties I could feel they were already really, really damp...

Anyway, I'd better finish getting the rest of the washing in - it's raining and my Parkinsons isn't making it any easier.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Ryex on August 27, 2011, 01:10:57 pm
oh gods, that is horrible.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Blizzard on September 14, 2011, 04:50:39 pm
QuoteA sexy young girl approached me in the club last night.

"Wanna buy me a few drinks?" she whispered with a wink.

"Of course," I burst out, shooting to the bar.

After she had drunk 5 vodkas within 10 minutes, I gave her a nudge.

"I bet you're the type of girl that uses men to get drunk and gives nothing in return, aren't you?" I asked.

"You've got me all figured out," she smirked.

"Well not tonight!" I replied, waving an empty Rohypnol box in her face.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Blizzard on March 11, 2014, 05:52:10 am
More from Sickipedia. xD

QuoteA man received the following text from his neighbor:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around.
In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: R.A.V.S.O on March 11, 2014, 08:20:33 pm
So a programmer is about to go buy some stuff from the market when his wife interrupts him:

"Honey, remember to go buy a bottle of milk on your way back, if they have eggs, bring six."

so the programmer goes to the market and returns with 6 bottles of milk, his wife replies:

"why did you bring six bottles of milk?"

"because they had eggs honey"
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Ranquil on March 12, 2014, 09:22:04 am
What does a woman and a swimming pool have in common?

When you enter them they should be wet and while you do you should preferably be wearing something rubbery.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Crasger on April 18, 2014, 08:35:58 am
SO! A man was having sex with a goat...

I watched every second of it.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Blizzard on April 08, 2016, 04:01:02 pm
How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb?

Spoiler: ShowHide
None. They will keep beating the room for being black.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Soulshaker3 on April 08, 2016, 07:47:25 pm
What's there a ton on of in heaven?

Spoiler: ShowHide
African children
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Blizzard on August 13, 2016, 11:24:14 am
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
Spoiler: ShowHide
It's not hard.


Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
Spoiler: ShowHide
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand, plus a dozen donuts.


Who's the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
Spoiler: ShowHide
The one who can eat the last donut!


How do you make five pounds of fat look good?
Spoiler: ShowHide
Put a nipple on it.
Title: Re: Good Jokes
Post by: Wecoc on September 23, 2016, 02:34:51 am
Hahahaha those last ones were pretty good.

Ok I'll try with some of my own bullshit jokes collection.

Spoiler: ShowHide
- Look mom, I'm the fastest guy ever! Speed 6 and Freq 6!
- But son, you have a disabled move type...


Spoiler: ShowHide
- Mommy mommy, in class they call me 'Second fiddle'.
- Don't worry little Basil, someday this will change...


Spoiler: ShowHide
- We will fight together until the end!
- Yeah!...
- Hey! What? Where the fuck are you?
- In your group.
- What?
- There's no caterpillar.

And he never saw him again.


Spoiler: ShowHide
Arshes walks into a shop and asks to the merchant:
- How many HP potions do you have, sir?
- 99 minus the amount you already have.


Spoiler: ShowHide
- I'm so evil I will kill the current villain just to demonstrate to the party how strong and badass I am!
*Later*
- He killed the villain! He's a hero! - Yes, he's the best!
- Fucking shit.


Spoiler: ShowHide
- Can I interact with this? Hey citizen, do you have more than one page or you always say the same? Oh wow, here's a dog, let's see what it says!
- Honey, I told you our son was smoking weed.