Good Jokes

Started by Shadonking, September 06, 2008, 08:21:21 pm

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Aqua


Diokatsu

August 03, 2010, 04:00:09 pm #121 Last Edit: August 03, 2010, 04:01:29 pm by Diokatsu
Quote from: Aqua on August 03, 2010, 03:55:20 pm
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Wow great copypasta from failblog.

By the way, isn't this thread supposed to have good jokes in it?

Subsonic_Noise

Is dead dog in road, also is dead latvian, what difference? Dog have fur keep warm. also, freedom. Dog eat poop for pleasure and not just survive. So many thing!

Agckuu Coceg

- What newspaper are you released this year?
- Why do I need the newspaper, when I have Internet?
- You go in toilet with keyboard?
I'm not retarded, but I'm busy. Sorry for patience.


Diokatsu

Quote from: Shiny Magikarp on August 03, 2010, 04:05:06 pm
Is dead dog in road, also is dead latvian, what difference? Dog have fur keep warm. also, freedom. Dog eat poop for pleasure and not just survive. So many thing!


oh god i died.

Blizzard

If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey would eat away the feet of my rooster, what would you have?
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Subsonic_Noise


Blizzard

No. Two feet of my cock in your ass.
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

King Munkey

That made me Lol hard XD

G_G Is my hero!
Munkey != monkey
Munkey > monkey

Agckuu Coceg

Higher rating doesn't mean you have a bigger penis...

(Nyhm - Just loot it)
I'm not retarded, but I'm busy. Sorry for patience.


rodas

     A Mexican, a Salvadorian, and an Indian guy are on a boat. They finally find an island and decide to live there. The chief meets with the guys and begin a conversation. They travelers explain that they want to live there. The chief replies, "If you want to live here you have to pass a set of tasks."

The three guys agree to them and the chief tells them, "I want you guys to get familiar with the environment, so go to the wild and bring 10 of one type of fruit." The three guys leave for their first task and begin their search in the forest.

The Mexican guy shows up first with 10 apples. The chief says, "Well you have passed your first test. The second thing I want to you to do is to, without making any expressions , put the ten pieces of fruit in you @ss. If you make an expression we kill you." The mexican guy starts his test. 1...2......3..4......5.. The Mexican guy can't handle it and makes makes an expression of pain. The tribe kills him. The Salvadoran guy shows up soon after with 10 cherries. The same conditions are given to him and he starts his test. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8.... and this moment he starts laughing without stop. They kill him.
The Mexican guy meet the Salvadoran guy in heaven.. and he says, "so why did you laugh? You were so close to getting to live there." The Salvadoran guy laughs again and replies, "I saw the Indian guy come back with pineapples."
Hey! I will do some evented systems, if you have something pm me and I will see what I can do. I will do only one at a time as I am also working on a game.

Karltheking4

August 06, 2010, 11:47:17 pm #131 Last Edit: August 07, 2010, 07:20:16 am by Karltheking4
XD

A man walks into a bar with a brown paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the bench. The barman asks "What's in the bag." The man responds by reaching into the brown paper bag and pulling out a man about a foot tall. He reaches in the bag once more and pulls out a grand piano, and then a piano stool, placing them on the benchtop. The little man sits down on the piano, and plays a magnificent piece by Mozart. "WOW!" says the barman, "Where'd you find him?"
The man responds by reaching into the bag once more, and pulling out an old, dusty lamp. He passes it to gthe barman and says "Rub it"
The Barman does so, and a genie comes out from the top of the lamp. "YOU MAY HAVE ONE WISH" commands the genie.

Without thinking the barman yells out "I wish I had a million bucks!"
The genie nods, and dissapears, just as a duck walks into the bar. Then another duck. Several more ducks. Until the bar is full of ducks, and the barman can see many more outside, perhaps a million.

The barman looks at the man. "I think your genie's a bit deaf. I asked for a milliion BUCKS not a million DUCKS"
"No kidding" said the man. "You think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"

Blizzard

Lol, you fixed it. xD I was already like "wait, what, 3 inches only?!"
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

poxy

I got this one from a friend:

Women as explained by engineers:
Spoiler: ShowHide

1 To find a woman you need time and money therefore:
Woman = Time * Money

2. Time is money therefore
Time = Money

3. Therefore
Woman = Money ^ 2

4. "Money is the root of all problems"
Money = sqrt(Problems)

5. Therefore
Woman = Problems
My Project: ShowHide

Jek

I don't get how time is equal to money...

ShadowPierce

August 10, 2010, 01:47:06 am #135 Last Edit: September 01, 2010, 12:26:40 pm by ShadowPierce
->I think he meant this:
Proof that girls are evil: ShowHide


It was adapted from the saying "Time is gold". @Jek



Spoiler: ShowHide
Quote from: Blizzard on February 16, 2011, 03:44:48 pmThere you go. It's the proof that SDK is crap. It's incompatible with itself.
3DS Friend Code: ShowHide
1161-0627-9890

Jek

Why must you kill the kittens?

ShadowPierce

August 10, 2010, 02:55:01 am #137 Last Edit: September 01, 2010, 12:27:44 pm by ShadowPierce
->Coz I like chopping heads off... :xD:



EDIT:
->Fixed!



Spoiler: ShowHide
Quote from: Blizzard on February 16, 2011, 03:44:48 pmThere you go. It's the proof that SDK is crap. It's incompatible with itself.
3DS Friend Code: ShowHide
1161-0627-9890

megaman30796

1--'Politics: "Poli" a Latin word meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures"'

2--"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers."

3--In Delaware, USA, 44-year-old John Finch broke into a house, drank 3 bottles of gin, 2 bottles of whiskey,           and got so drunk he couldn't make his way back out of the house.
In true idiot style, he then rang 911 to ask for help, and was arrested shortly afterwards!

4--Funny Pictures:
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this is actually my profile picture!

5--Christmas related incidents such as:

A)Injuries from opening bottles of beer with teeth instead of a bottle opener.
B)Catching zippers on eyelids while trying on new jumpers.
C)Cracked skulls from falling asleep while throwing up into the toilet bowl.
D)Q. What does Santa call reindeer that don't work?
A. Dinner. :evil:
E)It was just before Christmas and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked the prisoner who was in the dock, 'What are you charged with?'
The prisoner replied, 'Doing my Christmas shopping too early.'
'That's no crime', said the magistrate. 'Just how early were you doing this shopping?'
'Before the shop opened', answered the prisoner

6--Job Interviews:

A)Candidate told the interviewer he was fired for beating up his last boss.
B)When applicant was offered food before the interview, he declined saying he didn't want to line his stomach             with grease before going out drinking.
C)Candidate said she could not provide a writing sample because all of her writing had been for the CIA and it was "classified".

7--Want to know what the first person to find out that cows produce milk was really trying to do
"You know the world is going crazy," Chris Rock declared in 2003, "when the best rapper [Eminem] is a white guy, the best golfer [Tiger Woods] is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA [Yao Ming] is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush,' 'Dick,' and 'Colon.' Need I say more?"

Blizzard

Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.