I have a weird set up at home for TV, ever since i moved back in with my parents after i broken down my set top box is kinda screwy, if i have it on while i am on C.C (PC) or Cynthia (PS3) while i have the set top box on the reception drops sometimes causing it to loose the signal, weird since when i was downloading the Beta Client for Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn on Cynthia because it was so huge i was watching TV at the same time, it was suggested that the problem has something to do with this new power board.
because i record Good Game on Tuesdays at least until Under the Dome finishes and my set stop box wont record if there isn't enough of a signal i have to abstain from going on C.C, it's normally a good time to play Forte (PSP), currently playing Phantom Brave cause i need a PSP Update to transfer DLC for Disgaea 2 from Cynthia
this tuesday (last night) however was crap, during the add break there was the following adds
- eHarmony
- add for The Bachelor Australia
- Car add where the guy goes to propose but just as he does the girl breaks up and he jokes how he was lucky he kept the receipt for the ring
- preview for some feel good tv drama
it was almost like the TV was being an ass cause this is how i took it
- Here's a success story about a couple who came together via internet dating, but you was denied access to harmony and you've had no luck on any dating site
- Here's a show where 20 girls all aim for 1 guy who is trying to find love, you can't even get 1 girl
- here's a guy who's going to propose, even though he gets rejected you wont ever be able to propose to someone
- here's a feel good romance story, you wont even get close to this either
since i didn't have my computer on and Forte was out of power so i was waiting for her to charge i couldn't block the thoughts like like i normally do, of cause each add was a punch to the face, the blow to the chest was what came on after the adds, at the time it was this news show called The Project, they had a story on Suicide Prevention and to call Beyond Blue if you need assistance. so out of all of that it was almost like the TV was saying "after all of that don't kill yourself, here's a story on suicide prevention to drill it into your head". the thought of suicide never comes to me, it's a cowards way, even subaku is a cowards way cause the person takes their own life out of their shame rather than to work hard to redeem their lost honor but the TV was almost like pointing out that i'm going to be alone since im 24 this year and my parents in almost 80
this came ontop of my mum once again complaining that i've been gaining weight, my health has never been affected by it (i was always bad at sports since i was a kid due to inflections i got at birth) so my gut has always been an appearance thing, i stupidly keep thinking that society isn't hypercritical and there are people who don't judge on appearances but after having closed down another dating site because every girl i talk to ignores me or begins to ignore me when i ask their opinion on anime however i began to think, maybe it's not because i'm an otaku that people are ignoring me, maybe it's because of my appearance, so starting last week i started to skip lunch and do another block around work totally up my daily walk to 34 minutes walking around the block and 25 sit ups morning and night. but after last night i am no longer motivated to keep up the lunch skipping since even if i did trim my gut what good will that do, it wont improve my health since i'm healthy as it is (even a work place medical exam said my only problem was a lack of good cholesterol and my bad cholesterol was quite low) and almost the opposite of my brother where i work hard every day at a 8-5 job while doing my own work on the side while he bludges off dole payments, gets money off our mum for smokes, goes out partying every night and has a new girlfriend every month
i not really looking for advice or anything, i've always been told by Div to vent and not let these things stay locked away in my head, with no place to vent and having nothing to do while i run a 30 minute query on my database i started to read posts in the chat forum, probably just spamming here anyway