So here I find myself, waking up. The daily cycle of so called life has begun. I usually start my day by drinking extra strong coffee. Not that this is something you're interested in, but hell, this is me. The common breakfast of cereal with milk. Chocolate crisp cereal. With exactly the right amount of milk. I don't want my cereal to become all mushy, do I? I have multiple disorders, at least so they say. So I flush this water with a glass full of pills. Bipolar disorder, attention deficit disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder and a bunch of personality disorders. So I have to take these happiness capsules. This way I fit better within other people's views of society. I felt perfect before these capsules. But that was just my opinion.
As I get myself dressed to prepare for this daily cycle, I look outside to see the beautiful old rain. It might be a shitty day for most of you, but I enjoy it. Until I get to work. It has begun. Officially now, it's not just the thought anymore. I experience it as if I am looking through damp glasses. Trying to wipe them clean every now and then. Greet my administer, greet my so called colleagues, help them solve their shit. Almost literally clean their ass. Why is this the standard? Why? Because this is what it is. Well, put it this way, this is what most people feel comfortable about. I can't say that I hate this standard, but I certainly do not like it.
I received the task to write a general notice letter earlier. As I set way to the copying machine, I unconsciously blink towards the clock and realize I have only been in the cycle for an hour. You know that feeling you get when you realize something like that, don't you? As I copied the general notice letter, I went away for another coffee. Oh did I enjoy this little boost of energy. Amazing how something like a chemical substance could have this much of an influence on you. As I finished my coffee, I returned to the copying machine. There I found two colleagues queuing until I was done with my copies. I had to make another 108. I heard the words "faith", "God" and "Jesus". I did all I could not to get involved in this conversation. But quickly, they asked me if I believed in God. The two seemed to be significantly older than me. Not that it should make a difference, but it did. "Actually, I don't." I answered without hesitation. Although, inside, I had to put a lot of effort in this answer. After this, they just looked at me, in complete silence. They didn't say a word. Not a single letter came out of their mouths. They just gazed at me. I took the copies and walked towards my desk. I marched. I marched through the maze of identical desks. This journey was one hell of an exploration. There are over 500 employees here. I am just one of those. Almost no one knew each other. As I marched, in an even rhythm, thoughts kept flashing through my head about the two people I encountered. I sniggered on the inside.
Once I reach my desk I notice how 3 post-its are already waiting for my arrival. One of them had "URGENTLY" underlined twice. As I sit down my office chair, I notice some colleagues look at me with the typical "At least we don't have to do this shit" look. Quickly my imaginary glasses became damp again and the day floated away in a mist. God was I tired. The day faded in a timeless, numb experience that passed away minute by minute. Every minute working in a place like this precisely felt like a minute closer to death.
My working hours are finally over. I can now leave this overwhelming glass skyscraper. The everlasting elevator that brings all coworkers to ground level. Ground level. As if you were away from the surface for a while. We were, actually. I leave the elevator and start my daily walk to the subways. I again leave ground level, to enter the underground. Above me are labyrinths of streets and buildings, all made by humans. Under me lay ancient remains of life, those that made us live here. It's another 4 minutes until my metro arrives. I decide to put on my headphones, oh do I love music. Sound waves of joy an entertainment. Tchaikovsky's Overture. Oh sweet overture. Exactly what one needs when waiting for the subway. As the subway arrives, the violins join the beautiful sound waves. The gently pushing people behind me became nothing more than what happened around me. It did not matter. I just went inside and took a seat. Next to the window of course. I enjoyed the flying by of the environment. Everything outside became abstract. The symphony between Tchaikovsky and the outside world. Wonderful.