I don't know if anybody remembers how I suggested if anybody was interested in self-help stuff (:V), but I have decided to take a major step in that myself. I am swearing off alcohol. That's it, I'm not drinking anymore. No more alcohol for the Blizzard. It's just not productive anymore and I have more fun without it. This post is here to remind me of that decision.
As an addict in "recovery" (2-1/2 years now), I am honestly proud of you. :D
I wasn't an addict, but I didn't like the amount of alcohol I would take in on a monthly base. This is simply a decision I want to make. I thought that cutting down on alcohol might do the trick, but that was just a lame excuse not to go all the way. Sure, I did cut down, but as long as I am "allowed" to drink anyway, it's not the same thing. That's why I am putting a stop to it.
Alcohol has been hindering me to progress as a person further beyond my current boundaries and I have become aware of the fact that I cannot progress (at least not as fast) unless I stop completely.
Imposing rules on oneself and following them, builds character. If for nothing else, at least I will stop drinking for that reason.
I think that's a very good decision you just made Blizz :) Not only is it healthy, it is also wealthy (because alcohol is not cheap). I also hope it allows you to push past your personal boundaries.
Wow, I didn't think that there would be many people who share this sentiment.
I personalty swore that I would not give in to the peer pressure to drink though high school and college and drink only on very special occasions though out the rest of my life. I'll probably have a glass of wine on occasions like a wedding where celebration is mandatory but other than that I see no reason to drink.
I've been around my friend when they were drunk and the conversation went down hill after their second drink. the party really lost all fun when I realized how hard it was to have a meaningful conversation with someone who has trouble opening a doorknob because "it's too round!" I face palmed more times that night than I care to count...
I end up hanging out with people who drink while they drink quite often, and it's not like I'm the only one of my friends that doesn't drink, I'd say about 25% of us don't drink. We even play drinking games together sometimes, with those of us that don't drink using water or soda. I've talked to my friends about why they drink, and some of them really have problems with stress that they have trouble relaxing in social situations. Instead of trying overcome that through willpower, they use alcohol. That's their choice, I'm not one to judge, and it doesn't mean that we can't hang out.
Yes, it's probably more healthy if you take into account the amounts of alcohol that I would drink. And sure, it's always more wealthy, even though I never spent too much money on alcohol. Often we'd just get a bottle of something and share it at some place (which is literally 5 times cheaper) and then we'd go out.
I never drank for too wrong reasons. It was to spice up the fun a bit. I was usually 80% the same person when I was drunk, just a little bit more spontaneous, a little bit more courageous, a little bit more fun etc. Of course I did act like an ass a few times, shit happens.
In the recent months I was pretty much over 95% the same person. There simply is no reason for me to drink anymore. It's just a question whether I will continue or not and I have decided not to. The only exception would be something like Ryex mentioned (e.g. a glass of wine at a wedding or something).
oh certainly they can get as hammered as they want, that's their choice I'll still hang out with them, but at the same time I sometimes feel like I have to be responsible for them when they are in such states that they require help to open doors. At time like that I really could care less about hanging with them and would rather be somewhere with someone who wasn't drunk to talk to.
I'm lucky to hang out with decent people so they are still alright, even when they are drunk. xD
Good decision.
I went through a stage where I drank too much socially. Mostly in college and after work. Never got to the point where I wanted to drink by myself. When I decided to stop, when I was out with friends, I would usually order a club soda with lime, but I would try to get it without my friends see me order it. I would wait until they went to the bathroom or I would ask for it at the bar, etc. That way no one thought I was being judgmental. People feel uncomfortable drinking around you if you aren't joining in.
One time when we had first moved in, a neighbor said he would have us over for drinks sometime. When we said we didn't really drink, the invitation evaporated.
Now I rarely drink but I don't have anything against it. I like drinking Bailey's on occasion because it tastes good.
Congratulations for your desire to continue to improve yourself.
Before I continue with my story on this subject, may I ask when it became mandatory to drink wine at a wedding? I would have no problem telling the bride and groom to knock it the fuck off(exact words) if they questioned why I am not drinking any to "celebrate".
Now, here's mine(albeit, with a different substance):
I have friends who smoke marijuana, and whenever around them, I have to smell that horrid smell, and it pisses me off.
One friend, he always invites me over to his house, and tells me these exact words, "I'm gonna get you high tonight, man. You'll love it." No, no I won't fucking love it.
Do I end up getting high? Yes, I do. But I do not have a joint in my mouth huffing and puffing away, I have to be in the same room with him, inhaling all of the smoke he gives off.
Honestly, I am starting to get irritated with his goal of getting me high, and if he keeps it up, I am just going to call in to the police about a minor smoking an illegal drug.
Then there's this other friend, whom I am avoiding calls from, that tells me the same thing, "I'm gonna get you high tonight, man." He always calls me to try and hang out, with
the intentions of getting me to smoke marijuana, which is why I am avoiding every call from him. I honestly do not get people's fascination with trying to drug me, when I so
clearly tell them I do not want to get toked with them. Pretty annoying, if you ask me. But I am never dumb enough to succumb to the pressure.
Now, to you, Blizz: congratulations! surely a great decision.
Ironically enough I've dreamed last night that I drank. At one moment I was like "Oh crap, didn't I stop drinking forever?" xD
It's not mandatory to drink wine, it's mandatory to drink champagne for the toast (at least in my country). This is my only exception to the rule.
As for the marijuana thing, the sweetest thing is to corrupt something pure/innocent. They just feel awkward that you're not smoking and they do so they are trying to make themselves more comfortable. I think somebody in this topic said something similar about drinking. o.o;
EDIT: Actually I just remembered. I don't think it's mandatory to drink champagne. But my personal opinion is that it's disrespectful not to toast with champagne if everybody is toasting with champagne. This will stay my only exception to the rule. Every good rule has to have an exception. :)
I will admit it would be rude, yes.
Also, I can tell you it's not about my friends feeling awkward about me not doing it. They just want me to do something with them they love, but I so happen to hate.
My dad used to be a mean and abusive drug addict, and one of the drugs he did was marijuana, which also makes it really uncomfortable for me to be around my friends when
they smoke it. But they don't care, they want me to enjoy it with them. Bleh.
Try just telling them that you don't like it. I know how it is when you want somebody else to like something you like. But getting them to like it doesn't fill the void. You have to let it go and simply enjoy it for yourself. Try telling that your friend, maybe it works.
Quote from: Blizzard on August 21, 2011, 05:36:18 am
Try just telling them that you don't like it. I know how it is when you want somebody else to like something you like. But getting them to like it doesn't fill the void. You have to let it go and simply enjoy it for yourself. Try telling that your friend, maybe it works.
Okay, thanks for the advice. I'll try it.
BTW, do it in dude-speak. Something like "Dude, I know you want me to like marijuana and all, but it just isn't for me. You know that I had problems with my dad and drugs and stuff and this is just bringing all the bad memories back. Try to enjoy it just for yourself. You like it, I simply don't." might do the trick. xD
Yeah, I'll try that. They both sure love to use that word. :S
Also, call marijuana weed or the shit, whatever word they prefer to use. When you speak like the person you speak to, you can engage them a lot better and then steer the conversation or tone in whatever direction you like. When talking to someone who is upset, the best way is to let them explain their situation, get a little upset yourself, but then see some reasoning and explain it. They will follow magically. After all, you gave your best shot understanding them, they trust your judgment enough to consider the alternative you provide. To successfully change somebody's way of thinking, you first have to start thinking like them. Then you have to find your way out of their thinking into yours.
It's like going to pick up a girl from her home to bring her back to your place. She doesn't know the way to your place, but you do know the way to hers. :V:
Will do. I just hope this finally ends the harassment, without me having to get the police involved to make them stop. :/
Stress the importance of it at the very end. It just might do the trick.
I will do that. :)
Also, sorry for sort of hijacking your topic. D:
I totally forgot what this topic was about. xD
As far as toasting at a wedding, I don't see the point to ruin the day for the bride and groom. Just hold the glass to your lips and pretend to drink or take a tiny sip. I don't care for the taste of champagne, so even if I were a drinker I wouldn't want more than a sip.
On the marijuana question, some people who use marijuana treat it like a religion and their goal is to get converts. I know someone like that. I tried it to make her happy and this was my experience: first of all I have asthma, so I couldn't stop coughing. Then no high feeling for 45 minutes or so. Then it hit me like a sledgehammer. I was dizzy and sleepy. I felt drugged, but not calm, relaxed or high. Half an hour later, I was back to normal. Now she is trying to convince me that a different strain of weed might work better, but I told her don't waste it on me. It is hard to keep her as a friend because her whole life seems to revolve around marijuana. She rarely talks about anything else. So I don't know how successful you will be convincing your friends to stop pushing marijuana on you, but good luck.
I think it's wrong to pressure someone to do something they are uncomfortable with.
I don't like rollercoasters strangely enough.
But on several occasions I've done it to please my friends.
This usually results in a bad time being had by all. :P
But you could just as easily insert any other word in place of rollercoasters and depending on the person it could be just as true.
We all have our comfort zones and its good to expand them, but no one should be forced to.