Text only | Text with Images

Chaos Project

General => Advertising => Topic started by: DoubleX on May 07, 2023, 10:04:00 am

Title: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on May 07, 2023, 10:04:00 am
I never thought even I could make some music, but I don't know if mine would be too unpleasant to hear, so it takes me some courage to share them here :)

DoubleX - Everyone Turning Against You (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-everyone-turning-against-you)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 3rd(30 Apr 2023)

I just had a rather special dream in my sleep, although I already can't remember every last bit of its details precisely.

During this dream, I was watching a short movie, with its male protagonist suddenly being betrayed by just about everyone around him, including his beloved wife.
Even though it's clear to him that she was forced to do so, he still had to kill her personally to protect his sons and daughters, just as a slightly tragic melody started playing, with him recalling all the good memories with them within his family before this.
The situation ended up with total chaos and he was driven into total madness. Then I just woke up from the dream before I could watch the rest of the movie(that's why the melody's so short), but this doesn't feel like a nightmare to me, despite the fact that I slept quite poorly that night.

Because I want to remember that short melody, I composed this easy, simple and small song based on it, and it's done via 1BITGRADON within 8 hours.
I hope that this song, being my 1st published one, won't be too much of an earsore for too many of you :)


DoubleX - Accepting Sadness (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-accepting-sadness)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(26 Sep 2024)
I just suddenly sung this melody out of thin air, so I made this song by 1BITDRAGON within 4 hours before I forget that melody, and "Accepting Sadness" is the 1st name I came into mind


DoubleX - False Hope (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-false-hope)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(13 Oct 2024)
It's actually my 1st song but I never published it before, as I didn't like most part of it. However, there are still some parts I like so I overhauled the whole thing quite a bit to hope that it'll be better this time. Nevertheless, it's probably a false hope, so I named this song this way :)


DoubleX - Cry Until I'm Blind(Instrumental) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-cry-until-im-blind)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(17 Oct 2024)
It's the instrumental version of my 1st song with vocals and lyrics, which are about some scenarios probably causing someone to cry until he/she's blind, assuming that it's possible in the first place :(


DoubleX - Lost Forever (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-lost-forever)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(17 Nov 2024)
Just another song based on a melody out of the blue, and "Lost Forever" seems to hit home


DoubleX - Endless Darkness (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-endless-darkness)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(23 Nov 2024)
Yet another song all about a primitive melody, and "Endless Darkness" might just show hoe repetitive this song feels :(


DoubleX - Broken Hearts (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-broken-hearts)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(24 Nov 2024)
A music trying to mix 2 crude melodies that might show how I'd feel if my heart were broken :(


DoubleX - Grief Indulgence (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-grief-indulgence)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(1 Dec 2024)
While this music might sounds repetitive, this could just show the compulsion of someone indulging in his/her grief even when he/she tries to stop :(


DoubleX - It's All Over (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-its-all-over)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(1 Dec 2024)
If I feel that all seems to be over, this music might illustrate my emotions under such perceived circumstances X(


DoubleX - Give Up Everything (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-give-up-everything)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(29 Dec 2024)
When you always make things worse and worse, you might just as well give up everything, and this music could show how it can feel T_T


DoubleX - Helpless Hopelessness (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-helpless-hopelessness)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(9 Jan 2025)
When you usually end up hurting the others deeply, you'll likely feel hopeless about yourself, and you probably don't want to seek for help in afraid of severely hurting those helping you, so this kind of helpless hopelessness might be illustrated by this music :(


DoubleX - Wish Them The Best (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-wish-them-the-best)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(30 Apr 2025)
When you secretly love someone already having another lover and their relationship's so good for so long, you may as well just wish them the best and move on... if you can really let go of all this, that is :)


DoubleX - Eternal Alienation (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-eternal-alienation)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 2nd(13 Aug 2025)
For those trying to belong to groups but always failed to fit in, they may instead learn to be alone for the rest of their lives, provided that they can embrace the loneliness for such a long time :)


DoubleX - Full Of Regrets (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-full-of-regrets)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(26 Jun 2025)
Since I enjoying weeping alone so much, I'm so glad that I finally made a sad song that can make me weep so much :)


DoubleX - Stuck In The Past (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-stuck-in-the-past)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(29 Jun 2025)
Some are so stuck in the past that they'd want a time machine to relive their good memories and rewrite their bad ones, but all they can do is to make use of the present to create their futures :)


DoubleX - Beyond Redemption (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-beyond-redemption)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(10 Jul 2025)
When you think that your lives are mostly out of your control for a long time, you'll likely feel that you're probably beyond redemption, as long as you often keep forcing yourselves to control everything about you so hard :(


DoubleX - Used Up Goner (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-used-up-goner)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(13 Jul 2025)
If you become useless to everyone else around you, you can end up as a used up goner being thrown into a rubbish bin, and then they might just forget everything about you forever T_T


DoubleX - Never Get Anything Right (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-never-get-anything)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(27 Jul 2025)
When none of what you do so far ever works at all, you'll tend to feel that you can never get anything right forever, but doing nothing for the rest of your lives isn't an option either X(


DoubleX - Always Hurting Others (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-always-hurting-others)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(6 Aug 2025)
If you keep unintentionally hurting those around you, you might consider isolating yourselves from everyone else until you die, assuming that it's even possible to begin with QAQ


DoubleX - Nowhere To Go (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-nowhere-to-go)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 2nd(13 Aug 2025)
When you were consistently going nowhere for so long that now you probably will constantly have nowhere to go, but you've to go to somewhere fast no matter what, you'll likely feel more and more trapped until you won't even know what to do anymore :(


DoubleX - Forced Optimism (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-forced-optimism)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(13 Aug 2025)
When all your efforts are futile and you become pessimistic, the outside world will probably "encourage and recommend" you to feel good no matter what, but once this unsustainably toxic positivity burns out, you'll likely face an even worse despair X(


DoubleX - Futile Struggle (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-futile-struggle)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(17 Aug 2025)
If you keep resisting externally and struggling internally but never managed to have any useful results for anyone, then it's time to think about surrendering yourselves and wait for the worst to happen to you T_T


DoubleX - Inner Emptiness (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-inner-emptiness)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(20 Aug 2025)
When you're more and more empty inside day by day, it's like some parasites eating your internals bit by bit, until you're so rotten to the core that you can't hold yourselves together anymore :(


DoubleX - Dying Inside (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-dying-inside)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(27 Aug 2025)
When you've less and less time to know yourselves, you'll probably become harder and harder to be yourselves, instead you'll likely be closer and closer to a dead man walking, until you eventually just can't function anymore :(


DoubleX - Depression Suppression (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-depression-suppression)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(27 Aug 2025)
As most people do need societies to survive while societies still need lots of objectified people to keep itself running, many people have to behave as mere tools to be utilized by some of the others. They either remain being useful assets, or become useless enough to "deteriorate" into costly liabilities, and being depressed is no defense against such oppression as a necessary evil. Although nobody can be a perpetual motion machine and suppressing depression is doomed to fail badly, not trying hard to act like achieving both will usually lead to even sooner disposal like a waste :(


DoubleX - Nothing But Mistakes (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-nothing-but-mistakes)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(31 Aug 2025)
When you always feel all you've done are nothing but mistakes that can't be corrected at all, you'll likely think that your very existence are the only ones you can X(


DoubleX - Addicted To Despair (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-addicted-to-despair)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(31 Aug 2025)
If you first face your despair, you'll probably feel conflicted, confused and cornered, as illustrated in the 1st part of this music. But once you get used to it, a strange serenity might come into your lives as shown in the 2nd part of this music. However, when you can no longer sustain yourselves that way, you'll likely feel even more desperate than before X(


DoubleX - Soulless Life (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-soulless-life)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(7 Sep 2025)
While a soulless life's often so not worth living that it can be much worse than peaceful death, when you're obliged or even forced to live for a long time anyway, it'd be rather hard to keep your souls alive T_T


DoubleX - Detached Outsider (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-deteched-outsider)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(7 Sep 2025)
For those failing to fit into any society, being a detached outsider can be another choice. While it'd mean abandoning many aspects of life, it may also lead to unique experience and perspectives that bring new ideas and valuable insights into the mainstream humanity :)


DoubleX - Waste Of Space (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-waste-of-space)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(7 Sep 2025)
When you feel more and more worthless, you might begin to treat shopping as wasting precious money instead of naturally contributing to the economy, eating as wasting scarce food rather than meeting genuine needs normally, drinking as wasting clean water but not basic human rights, and even breathing as wasting vital oxygen without realizing that it's just a part of the carbon cycle. Then one day you may feel that your very existence are just wasting invaluable space while devaluing your uniqueness entirely, eventually you can really be completely and permanently wasted if you keep thinking this way QAQ


DoubleX - Heavy Burden (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-heavy-burden)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(8 Sep 2025)
Lives might be easier if only you can let go of your heavy burden, but that'd probably mean someone else bearing it for you, or even imply that you'll likely become a heavy burden for the others instead :(


DoubleX - Total Surrender (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-total-surrender)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(10 Sep 2025)
When you finally realize that there are so little things that you can even have a little control, you'll at last be forced to totally surrender yourselves to your surroundings during your whole lives, and you'll still have to keep controlling your perception, emotions and thinking hard into sincerely enjoying all these as divine blessing, all to avoid yourselves from complete collapse :)


DoubleX - Deeply Touched (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-deeply-touched)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(16 Sep 2025)
As you become more and more compassionate towards the mankind, you'll feel more and more clearly that the majority of the humanity is constantly suffering immensely, and you'll be more and more deeply touched on just how powerless the civilization is against such widespread mental harm and pain for such a long time, especially when everything is just misfortune beyond everyone's control, so you'll want to be so empathetic that you won't ever blame anyone for anything anymore, but instead just focus on what you can do to mend the wounds in this dying ecosystem :)


DoubleX - Too Weak To Live (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-too-weak-to-live)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(17 Sep 2025)
When you don't know how to deal with anyone else anymore for a long time, and you're not strong enough to be self-sufficient anytime soon, you'll eventually become too weak to live :(


DoubleX - Mental Suffocation (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-mental-suffocation)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(20 Sep 2025)
When you're suffocating mentally, it can be like drowning in the middle of the gigantic ocean without anyone else ever coming nor any mobile signal coverage, then it's only a matter of time before you become too exhausted to even stay afloat, and the endless sea waves will only further siphon your already lacking stamina X(


DoubleX - Utopian Dreams (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-utopian-dreams)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(21 Sep 2025)
If you ever have an utopian dream, you'll be so ecstatic that you don't wanna wake up forever, and the fact that it's always impossible to be even slightly real only makes you so attached to such idealistic illusions that you'll just want to repeat this over and over again :)


DoubleX - Chaotic Mind (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-chaotic-mind)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(27 Sep 2025)
When you can't think clearly for a long time, your brain will become such a mess that you'll become the one you know the least, so your mind will also be so chaotic that nobody can understand anything inside anymore :(


DoubleX - Drained Dry (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-drained-dry)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(3 Oct 2025)
As you have to do more and more to stay relevant in this world, you'll be more and more exhausted over time, until you become so drained that you'll feel completely dry emotionally for who knows how long X(


DoubleX - Internal Turmoil (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-internal-turmoil)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(4 Oct 2025)
As you become more and more mature, you'll have more aspects of your lives to handle well at all times, causing you to be harder and harder to deal with them all at the same time, eventually you'll feel so conflicted that your soul will at last be trapped into a total unrest :(


DoubleX - Habitually Overloaded (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-habitually-overloaded)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(5 Oct 2025)
Just as you wanna rest after being exhausted, your boss or family members ask you to do tasks that would be easy, simple and small for you if you weren't already that empty. If you just refuse while explaining that you're really so tired, they'll be very so displeased for your rejection on even such trivial extra works that they'll eventually want to fire or leave you; If you keep straining yourselves no matter what, you'll be so habitually overloaded that you'll eventually collapse and be done. So it's vital to control the ratio and rhythm of refusing versus accepting these demands to keep everything sustainable, but such a long yet thin wire is really just so insanely hard to walk for long QAQ


DoubleX - Feeling Unsure (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-feeling-unsure)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(15 Oct 2025)
Although I've spent hours to try to name this song, I still felt unsure about what the title should be, so I became lazy and just name this song as "Feeling Unsure" lol


DoubleX - Finally Overwhelmed (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-finally-overwhelmed)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(17 Oct 2025)
Sometimes you can suddenly change from feeling fine to become totally overwhelmed in no time with obvious causes, but it's more often like a boiling frog - you gradually feel less and less fine bit by bit without realizing it, until you feel finally overwhelmed and at last know that you've never been really fine, but then it's all too late for you by then :(


DoubleX - Take Myself Lightly (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-take-myself-lightly)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(22 Oct 2025)
If all I did didn't mean anything and I never mattered to anyone, then maybe it's time for me to just take myself lightly and move on, provided that I still have anywhere else to move to :)


DoubleX - World Of Harm (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-world-of-harm)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(26 Oct 2025)
As long as people keep harming themselves, each other as well as the whole ecosystem, we'll still be living in a world of harm, and this will only continue until we can finally let go of our fear of death, and thus break free of our survival instincts that have been trapping up all for so long :)


DoubleX - Deserving Nobody (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-deserving-nobody)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(30 Oct 2025)
As whether you're deserving someone is determined by that someone, so in theory you can be deserving a person while not deserving another. But when everyone you've directly interacted with clearly shows that you're never deserving any of them, you'll probably feel that you won't ever meet someone who thinks you're deserving him/her, so it'd only be natural for you to think that you're always deserving nobody :(


DoubleX - Unworthy Of Anything (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-unworthy-of-anything)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(30 Oct 2025)
When you can't use anything well and don't know how to do so for a long time, some of the others will blame you for wasting all you've, then after trying hard to change that but still failed, you'll eventually start to doubt whether you're actually unworthy of anything X(


DoubleX - Bitterly Cold (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-bitterly-cold)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(7 Nov 2025)
When your heart feels bitterly cold, it's not because your surrounding is emotionally cold, but because you're always surrounded by very warm love but you can never feel any of it; What makes your feeling freezes to death isn't that no one tries to understand you, but that they always try very hard to empathize deeply but you still never know how to open up yourselves even one bit; This cold is so bitter not because no one cares about you, but because they've always done all they can but you're still helplessly going straight to absolute zero so painfully; What's worse than instantly frozen tears while crying is that you wanna cry so much but there's already no more tears left for you to cry :(
P.S.: It's the 2nd of my published songs that can make me weep at least slightly for a short time :)


DoubleX - Bleak Fate (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-bleak-fate)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(9 Nov 2025)
Since the very existence of the mankind is just an unlikely evolutionary misfortune for the ecosystem, other species(especially those being extinct due to human activities) as well as those people themselves, and we never managed to coexist well with the nature, we're becoming terminal cancers of the very environment we deeply depend upon to survive, so our civilization's doomed to have such a bleak fate that we're destined to slowly destroy ourselves and everything around us X(


DoubleX - Ultimately In Vain (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-ultimately-in-vain)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(16 Nov 2025)
When you tried your best to give it all but it still doesn't work at the end, you can still enjoy the process and grow up from this learning experience, and some of those caring about you will likely support you at least slightly, but those needing a working result will still probably think that all that matters is that it's just a failure, so everything you've done is ultimately in vain for them :(


DoubleX - Banished Negativity (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-banished-negativity)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(19 Nov 2025)
When the social norm becomes more and more inclined to avoid "negative people", especially for those using spirituality as a disguise of the underlying just-world hypothesis, you'll likely want to hope for never being very negative for long, or being able to help yourselves to return to at least apparently enough positivity on your own if that ever happens, otherwise you'll probably "deteriorate" into a part of the banished negativity and become effectively quarantined by the society, although it could be a karma boomerang if you refused to help every other "negative people" in the past when you could've helped at least some of them :(


DoubleX - Facing The Storm Together(Mental Pain Relief) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-facing-the-storm)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(29 Nov 2025)
Although we all know that every storm, however how hostile it's to us, will eventually end, not all of us can persist until then regardless of whether we want to, especially for those being alone and lost their shelters, so maybe we can try to stay with each other and face the storm together, to hope that we'll all make it to see the sunrise :)


DoubleX - Rest In Peace(Mental Pain Relief) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-rest-in-peace-mental)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(30 Nov 2025)
While we don't claim to feel or know the same pain as you did, at least we want to try to empathize and understand what you've experienced, and none of you deserved such a tragedy, so we wish you can all be finally free from any further suffering, and hope that you'll instead become eternally blessed.
May you all rest in peace, and you'll always be remembered.


DoubleX - Heartfelt Condolences (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-heartfelt-condolences)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(3 Dec 2025)
Your tears will be seen, your voices will be heard, and your sorrow will be validated. It's normal for you to feel sad, and it's okay for you to ask for prolonged supports. You'll need time to accept what happened and it's totally fine, so you don't have to rush yourselves when trying to restart your lives. There's no need to soldier on all by yourselves, as you've our heartfelt condolences. We might not be able to do much for you, but at least we can try to make your situations less difficult.

P.S.: It's the 3rd of my music that made me weep, but this time it's mainly due to the devastating catastrophe they've experienced rather than this music itself, as it's so depressing for me to even just watch the live videos that I couldn't finish watching any of them, just to try to know what really happened :(


DoubleX - Starting Again(Mental Pain Relief) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-starting-again-mental)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(7 Dec 2025)
Everyone has their own rhythm and timing, especially those who has just lost everything after the tragedy, and they'll eventually start their lives again. While we might feel an immense sense of urge to "help" them recover sooner, these supports should be offered as options readily available to them, since we're just the choice givers and they're the ones being the choice makers of their lives, all to avoid our benevolence from deteriorating into subtle pressures, as this could ironically be their last straws.


DoubleX - Bitterly Cold(Mental Pain Relief Variant) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-bitterly-cold-mental)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(25 Dec 2025)
If you ever become homeless, you'll likely feel bitterly cold outside, so it'd be nice to at least have some temporary shelters for you to sleep for a short time, and it'd be even better when there will always be helping hands when you need them the most, causing the cold to be not so bitter anymore :)


DoubleX - Not Lost Forever(Mental Pain Relief Variant) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-not-lost-forever)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(25 Dec 2025)
When you almost lost everything at once, it'd only be natural for you to feel that all is permanently lost, but sometimes they're not lost forever, and one day some of them will likely either come back like the old times, or have replacements that suit you a lot better than before :)


DoubleX - Repairing Broken Hearts(Mental Pain Relief Variant) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-repairing-broken)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(25 Dec 2025)
If you're still immensely suffering from the tragedy, it's hard for your hearts to be not broken, and it'd be normal for you to look away from the debris of your once complete hearts for quite some time. Although collecting those shattered pieces bit by bit every day is usually a tedious but necessary process when repairing broken hearts, you'll most likely know when it's time to start doing so, so there's no need to force yourselves into hurrying up :)


DoubleX - Reflective Solitude(Mental Pain Relief) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-reflective-solitude)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(1 Jan 2026)
When you're seriously hurt and suffering from severe losses, choosing either "reaching out for external connections and helps" or "consciously digesting the pains alone" can be okay for you. While sometimes your hearts want to open your wounds in front of your deeply trusted ones, there will be times your bodies will want to have a reflective solitude, and both are just natural needs during the healing processes, as long as you can maintain your awareness thorough the journey :)


DoubleX - Deeply Touched(Mental Pain Relief) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-deeply-touched-mental)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(4 Jan 2026)
When so many people offer so much so needed help so effectively, it'd only be natural for many of these victims of the disasters, the helpers and those just witnessing all this to be so deeply touched by all the benevolence that they'll really want such altruism to become the norm of the rest of their lives :)


DoubleX - Unbreakable Vicious Circle (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-unbreakable-vicious)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(11 Jan 2026)
When every part of your lives become worse and worse but you can't stop your contaminated cores from further rotting, it means you're in an unbreakable vicious circle, so all you can do is to witness how you'll eventually fail to hold your corrupt selves together :(


DoubleX - Point Of No Return (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-point-of-no-return)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(16 Jan 2026)
For almost everyone ever existed, life itself will eventually reach a point of no return. For some it's almost certain that the path will lead to heaven, for some others it's most likely going straight to hell, and for the rest the destination can be a total unknown. But the common ground is that nearly no one can go back even slightly after this, or the results will be much worse for basically everyone involved. So roughly speaking, all one can do is to continue to walk through all these til the end, regardless of what has happened and what will occur :)


DoubleX - Completely Ruined (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-completely-ruined)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(25 Jan 2026)
Just when it's about to succeed, it suddenly becomes completely ruined; Just when you think something's nearly finished, it turns out to be completely ruined long ago without you knowing; Just when you feel close to someone you deeply trust, all of a sudden you're completely ruined by that someone; When more and more parts of your lives are completely ruined, you may as well just let everything about you to go completely ruined as well :(


DoubleX - Enjoying Suffering (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-enjoying-suffering)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(4 Feb 2026)
While many think that both the heaven and hell are very far away from the existing civilization, they're actually both within the mankind all along. Those lucky enough to keep enjoying suffering while spreading its positive meanings to the world are already living in the heaven right here and now; Those unlucky enough to keep trying to escape and resist suffering while cursing any apparent cause are already living hellish lives that are much worse than even the worst death. Just as Sisyphus can never run from his fate but can always change how he understand and face it, nobody can skip any deep and immense suffering inherent to all human beings but we can all learn to painfully enjoy them in altruistic and sustainable ways :)


DoubleX - Letting Everybody Down (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-letting-everybody-down)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(8 Feb 2026)
When I'm too unable to finish anything, I'll be just letting everybody down no matter what I do or not do, and I can't just claim that it's at least partly their lessons to learn to deal with disappointment, so sometimes being so incompetent is already an unforgivable sin in itself :(


DoubleX - Beautiful Sorrow (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-beautiful-sorrow)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(8 Feb 2026)
Usually most people mostly avoid all kinds of sadness, but for those who can keep peacefully facing the deep wounds of others and themselves, what they experience can become a beautiful sorrow, as long as they're neither deflecting their pains to the others nor holding those of the others on their own :)


DoubleX - Fallen Apart (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-fallen-apart)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(8 Feb 2026)
If you've to hold something together but it's meant to be fallen apart, you can only slowly watch how it's gradually torn into shreds until you can't even find any last bit of pieces remaining. Although we all know we shouldn't cry for split milk, sometimes we'll still suffer so immensely that we just can't stop crying so painfully X(


DoubleX - Doomed Destiny (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-doomed-destiny)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(8 Feb 2026)
As the mankind needs to develop AI to counter the increasing number of elderly and decreasing number of newborn under the dying global economy, the technologically advanced nations are forced to join the AI arms race until it can mostly replace most human jobs most of the time.
But then the 1% elites controlling those AI will treat the rest of the 99% as liabilities wasting resources rather than assets running the societies, so those 1% will use AI to gradually squeeze the living space and resources available to those 99% while forcing them to slowly rely more and more on those AI, causing those 99% to have no choice but to fight each other more and more violently for survival, thus decaying their already miserable world to be a hell and their already painful lives to become nightmares.
While more and more people realize this will likely be the future of the mankind before they naturally die, it's a doomed destiny that even those 1% elites can't stop it, or they'll soon have no place in the inevitable AI arms races :(


DoubleX - Rotten To The Core (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-rotten-to-the-core)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(13 Feb 2026)
As we're told to need to keep tangibly improving ourselves hard to barely stay relevant in this world, we always feel an immensely forced urge to become externally better quickly, even at the expense of mentally harming our internal selves deeply, until we seem to be highly successful on the surface but are actually rotten to the core without anyone knowing, and we won't recognize who we are anymore :(


DoubleX - Forsaken Roots (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-forsaken-roots)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(22 Feb 2026)
While it's natural to treat our cities of birth as our eternal roots, when they start dying slowly for decades and all we can do is to watch them gradually burn into ashes, it's only understandable for us to move to new homes and leave those forsaken roots behind :(


DoubleX - Widespread Misfortune (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-widespread-misfortune)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(22 Feb 2026)
As the world is inevitably complex and uncertain but the mankind is inherently fragile and afraid of dying, it'd be all too easy for most people to accumulate many deep Childhood Trauma like a faulty OS full of severe vulnerabilities, causing them to be passively injected by tons of limiting beliefs equivalent to computer viruses that frequently trigger their immense fear of death without them knowing, thus psychologically forcing them to engage in Self-defeating behaviors like infected machines that keep harming themselves as well as the others who'll also be instantly trapped by Amygdala Hijack, eventually leading to probably unstoppable chain reactions like an endless pandemic.
Although it'd be ideal for the most capable and resourceful ones to step up and help the humanity, they're also likely the most able ones to push their responsibilities onto the weaker ones, then it's only natural, under the apparent need of survival without those so-called threats, for the least powerful ones to be accountable for all those complexities for the rest of their lives.
While this can largely centralize those originally widespread misfortune into those especially unlucky ones, it's just the modern version of Human Sacrifice by cornering them to die from starvation after a prolonged lack of the material necessities or commit suicide due to multiple mental disorders.
As long as the majority are still unable to be aware that they've been living in low Levels of Consciousness, they'll need to think that it's all about clear rights and wrongs and be afraid of being incorrect, so they'll have to blame those deceased scapegoats for anything that can be linked to the latter, or the Just World Hypothesis being their only safety net would collapse, meaning that the societies would suffer from such mass panic that they can't even seem to run anymore X(


DoubleX - Sorry For Existing (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-sorry-for-existing)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(26 Feb 2026)
They feel sorry for consuming food and water, they feel sorry for taking in oxygen and emitting carbon dioxide, they feel sorry for accidentally triggering Amygdala Hijack of even the most mentally unpredictable and unstable ones, and they feel sorry for saying sorry as well as not saying sorry...
In short, they feel sorry for existing and trying to cease existing, it's as if they forced their parents to be parents and especially THEIR parents, and it's as if they should've undone all the "harm" unknowingly done by them, as well as given hefty compensations for all those so-called wrongdoings :(


DoubleX - Permanent Shame (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-permanent-shame)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(27 Feb 2026)
Some aren't just ashamed of what they've done, but also of their very existence, and no amount of behavioral redemption can really relief such shame. Trying to let go of permanent shame by correcting the surface of oneself is like subtracting infinity by many large yet still finite numbers, and the end result will still be unending shame within your core X(


DoubleX - Excessive Emergencies (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-excessive-emergencies)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(1 Mar 2026)
While we all know that we've to sharpen the axe if we want to raise our long-term throughput, it's very often that, just when we're about to have time to do so, you'll be urgently ordered to immediately cut another tree using that already dull axe, and these excessive emergencies will keep the crunch mode on steroids, especially when the organizations seem to be "always" on the edge of collapse :(


DoubleX - Irrevocable Tragedy (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-irrevocable-tragedy)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(3 Mar 2026)
They feel that they've almost lost everything and they can't find any way to ever come back, so they think that it's such an irrevocable tragedy that their lives already have no hope, then it's only natural for them to keep sobbing in agony while passively waiting for all this to end badly :(
P.S.: It's the 4th of my published music that can make me weep slightly for at least a short time :)


DoubleX - Unstoppable Weeping (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-unstoppable-weeping)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(4 Mar 2026)
There can be times where almost no one will even try to understand you a bit, and they'll instead find fault with you no matter what you do or not do, but you still wanna be at least slightly compatible with them, so you just accept their criticism and become ashamed of yourselves. Now all you'll have is unstoppable weeping when you're alone, until you've no tears left to cry and feel that your very existence are already too much :(


DoubleX - Want To Be Forgotten (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-want-to-be-forgotten)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(5 Mar 2026)
For some, they're so afraid of being forgotten that they'd rather risk their lives if they think that it's the only way for them to be remembered; But for some others, they want to be forgotten so much that they feel that they should had never existed X(


DoubleX - Fake Success (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-fake-success)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(6 Mar 2026)
For those who wants to be successful even at the cost of everything else, even a fake success is still much better than nothing, so they don't care whether such a life is what they truly want, or if the others really believe in their well-forged personal image, as long as things still appear to work the way they seem to desire, until they can no longer lie to anyone including themselves :(


DoubleX - Crippling Stagnation (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-crippling-stagnation)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(7 Mar 2026)
As you're the only source of income for your parents, those of your spouse as well as your kids, you feel obliged to provide for them all until you retire, so you feel trapped into your toxic yet well-paid job that's totally against your values, and you know that this crippling stagnation will eventually kill your soul by thousand cuts accumulated for years, so all you can do is to powerlessly watch your heart being slowly teared apart by ever increasing tensions built day by day X(


DoubleX - Devoid Of Expectations (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-devoid-of-expectations)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(14 Mar 2026)
Since the only one you can directly control is yourself, you won't be able to force anyone else to do anything, so you'll have no choice but to be devoid of expectations towards the others, and all you can do is to treat your request of their help as lottery tickets(their fees, probabilities and rewards depends on the request contents and targets), meaning that any fulfilled ones are just bonus and nothing else should be taken for granted :)


DoubleX - Self-Objectification (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-self-objectification)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(16 Mar 2026)
As human needs societies to survive and societies need human to keep running, it's nearly impossible for the majority to contribute to the societies their ways(or it'd mean always perfect matches of role demands and passion/talent supplies), hence many of them will be forced to do what they don't want, and self-objectification will be the only mean to keep all this sustainable, so the societies can still hold themselves together :(
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on September 26, 2024, 10:38:03 am
I just made my 2nd published song, and I hope this one has improved at least a little bit:

DoubleX - Accepting Sadness (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-accepting-sadness)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(26 Sep 2024)
I just suddenly sung this melody out of thin air, so I made this song by 1BITDRAGON within 4 hours before I forget that melody, and "Accepting Sadness" is the 1st name I came into mind :)
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on October 20, 2024, 07:39:52 am
I made my 3rd song a while earlier and 4th one shortly afterwards, so I decide to publish them together now:

DoubleX - False Hope (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-false-hope)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(13 Oct 2024)
It's actually my 1st song but I never published it before, as I didn't like most part of it. However, there are still some parts I like so I overhauled the whole thing quite a bit to hope that it'll be better this time. Nevertheless, it's probably a false hope, so I named this song this way :)


DoubleX - Cry Until I'm Blind(Instrumental) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-cry-until-im-blind)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(17 Oct 2024)
It's the instrumental version of my 1st song with vocals and lyrics, which are about some scenarios probably causing someone to cry until he/she's blind, assuming that it's possible in the first place :(
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on November 19, 2024, 07:53:34 am
I just made my 5th published song:
DoubleX - Lost Forever (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-lost-forever)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(17 Nov 2024)
Just another song based on a melody out of the blue, and "Lost Forever" seems to hit home
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on November 24, 2024, 08:59:00 am
I just made my 6th and 7th published songs:

DoubleX - Endless Darkness (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-endless-darkness)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(23 Nov 2024)
Yet another song all about a primitive melody, and "Endless Darkness" might just show hoe repetitive this song feels :(


DoubleX - Broken Hearts (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-broken-hearts)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(24 Nov 2024)
A music trying to mix 2 crude melodies that might show how I'd feel if my heart were broken :(
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on December 01, 2024, 10:44:14 am
I just made my 8th and 9th published songs:

DoubleX - Grief Indulgence (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-grief-indulgence)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(1 Dec 2024)
While this music might sounds repetitive, this could just show the compulsion of someone indulging in his/her grief even when he/she tries to stop :(


DoubleX - It's All Over (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-its-all-over)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(1 Dec 2024)
If I feel that all seems to be over, this music might illustrate my emotions under such perceived circumstances X(
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on December 29, 2024, 02:01:36 am
I just made my 10th published song:
DoubleX - Give Up Everything (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-give-up-everything)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(29 Dec 2024)
When you always make things worse and worse, you might just as well give up everything, and this music could show how it can feel T_T
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on January 10, 2025, 09:03:39 am
I just made my 11th published song:
DoubleX - Helpless Hopelessness (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-helpless-hopelessness)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(9 Jan 2025)
When you usually end up hurting the others deeply, you'll likely feel hopeless about yourself, and you probably don't want to seek for help in afraid of severely hurting those helping you, so this kind of helpless hopelessness might be illustrated by this music :(
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on April 30, 2025, 05:07:52 am
I just made my 12th published song:
DoubleX - Wish Them The Best (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-wish-them-the-best)
"Description": ShowHide


Current version: 1st(30 Apr 2025)
When you secretly love someone already having another lover and their relationship's so good for so long, you may as well just wish them the best and move on... if you can really let go of all this, that is :)
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on June 13, 2025, 02:46:15 am
I just made my 13th published song:
DoubleX - Eternal Alienation (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-eternal-alienation)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 2nd(13 Aug 2025)
For those trying to belong to groups but always failed to fit in, they may instead learn to be alone for the rest of their lives, provided that they can embrace the loneliness for such a long time :)
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on June 26, 2025, 12:03:04 am
I just made my 14th published song:
DoubleX - Full Of Regrets (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-full-of-regrets)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(26 Jun 2025)
Since I enjoying weeping alone so much, I'm so glad that I finally made a sad song that can make me weep so much :) 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on June 29, 2025, 07:54:34 am
I just made my 15th published song:
DoubleX - Stuck In The Past (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-stuck-in-the-past)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(29 Jun 2025)
Some are so stuck in the past that they'd want a time machine to relive their good memories and rewrite their bad ones, but all they can do is to make use of the present to create their futures :) 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on July 10, 2025, 10:53:03 am
I just made my 16th published song:
DoubleX - Beyond Redemption (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-beyond-redemption)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(10 Jul 2025)
When you think that your lives are mostly out of your control for a long time, you'll likely feel that you're probably beyond redemption, as long as you often keep forcing yourselves to control everything about you so hard :(
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on July 13, 2025, 11:46:33 am
I just made my 17th published song:
DoubleX - Used Up Goner (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-used-up-goner)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(13 Jul 2025)
If you become useless to everyone else around you, you can end up as a used up goner being thrown into a rubbish bin, and then they might just forget everything about you forever T_T 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on July 27, 2025, 10:40:42 am
I just made my 18th published song:
DoubleX - Never Get Anything Right (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-never-get-anything)
"Description": ShowHide


Current version: 1st(27 Jul 2025)
When none of what you do so far ever works at all, you'll tend to feel that you can never get anything right forever, but doing nothing for the rest of your lives isn't an option either X

Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on August 06, 2025, 12:03:29 am
I just made my 19th published song:
DoubleX - Always Hurting Others (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-always-hurting-others)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(6 Aug 2025)
If you keep unintentionally hurting those around you, you might consider isolating yourselves from everyone else until you die, assuming that it's even possible to begin with QAQ
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on August 09, 2025, 10:19:20 pm
I just made my 20th published song:
DoubleX - Nowhere To Go (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-nowhere-to-go)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 2nd(13 Aug 2025)
When you were consistently going nowhere for so long that now you probably will constantly have nowhere to go, but you've to go to somewhere fast no matter what, you'll likely feel more and more trapped until you won't even know what to do anymore :(
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on August 13, 2025, 11:34:47 am
I just made my 21st published song:
DoubleX - Forced Optimism (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-forced-optimism)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(13 Aug 2025)
When all your efforts are futile and you become pessimistic, the outside world will probably "encourage and recommend" you to feel good no matter what, but once this unsustainably toxic positivity burns out, you'll likely face an even worse despair X(


And updated the following ones:
"DoubleX - Eternal Alienation": ShowHide

2nd Version -
- Added chords(mainly about Strings)
- Fixed melody inconsistencies at 0:50 and 2:15
- Enhanced the force of the double emphasis from 1:35 to 2:07
- Some other minor fixes

"DoubleX - Nowhere To Go": ShowHide

2nd Version -
- Enlarged the chord effects from 0:48 - 2:56
- Enhanced the force of the triple emphasis from 1:53 to 2:32
- Lengthened and strengthened the closure at the very end
- Some other minor fixes
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on August 17, 2025, 12:00:15 am
I just made my 22nd published song:
DoubleX - Futile Struggle (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-futile-struggle)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(17 Aug 2025)
If you keep resisting externally and struggling internally but never managed to have any useful results for anyone, then it's time to think about surrendering yourselves and wait for the worst to happen to you T_T 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on August 20, 2025, 08:50:22 am
I just made my 23rd published song:
DoubleX - Inner Emptiness (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-inner-emptiness)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(20 Aug 2025)
When you're more and more empty inside day by day, it's like some parasites eating your internals bit by bit, until you're so rotten to the core that you can't hold yourselves together anymore :( 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on August 27, 2025, 10:20:21 am
I just made my 24th and 25th published song:
DoubleX - Dying Inside (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-dying-inside)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(27 Aug 2025)
When you've less and less time to know yourselves, you'll probably become harder and harder to be yourselves, instead you'll likely be closer and closer to a dead man walking, until you eventually just can't function anymore :( 


DoubleX - Depression Suppression (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-depression-suppression)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(27 Aug 2025)
As most people do need societies to survive while societies still need lots of objectified people to keep itself running, many people have to behave as mere tools to be utilized by some of the others. They either remain being useful assets, or become useless enough to "deteriorate" into costly liabilities, and being depressed is no defense against such oppression as a necessary evil. Although nobody can be a perpetual motion machine and suppressing depression is doomed to fail badly, not trying hard to act like achieving both will usually lead to even sooner disposal like a waste :( 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on August 31, 2025, 08:34:42 am
I just made my 26th and 27th published song:
DoubleX - Nothing But Mistakes (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-nothing-but-mistakes)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(31 Aug 2025)
When you always feel all you've done are nothing but mistakes that can't be corrected at all, you'll likely think that your very existence are the only ones you can X( 


DoubleX - Addicted To Despair (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-addicted-to-despair)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(31 Aug 2025)
If you first face your despair, you'll probably feel conflicted, confused and cornered, as illustrated in the 1st part of this music. But once you get used to it, a strange serenity might come into your lives as shown in the 2nd part of this music. However, when you can no longer sustain yourselves that way, you'll likely feel even more desperate than before X( 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on September 11, 2025, 07:23:09 am
I just made my 28th, 29th, 30th, 31st and 32nd published song:
DoubleX - Soulless Life (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-soulless-life)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(7 Sep 2025)
While a soulless life's often so not worth living that it can be much worse than peaceful death, when you're obliged or even forced to live for a long time anyway, it'd be rather hard to keep your souls alive T_T


DoubleX - Detached Outsider (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-deteched-outsider)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(7 Sep 2025)
For those failing to fit into any society, being a detached outsider can be another choice. While it'd mean abandoning many aspects of life, it may also lead to unique experience and perspectives that bring new ideas and valuable insights into the mainstream humanity :) 


DoubleX - Waste Of Space (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-waste-of-space)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(7 Sep 2025)
When you feel more and more worthless, you might begin to treat shopping as wasting precious money instead of naturally contributing to the economy, eating as wasting scarce food rather than meeting genuine needs normally, drinking as wasting clean water but not basic human rights, and even breathing as wasting vital oxygen without realizing that it's just a part of the carbon cycle. Then one day you may feel that your very existence are just wasting invaluable space while devaluing your uniqueness entirely, eventually you can really be completely and permanently wasted if you keep thinking this way QAQ 


DoubleX - Heavy Burden (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-heavy-burden)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(8 Sep 2025)
Lives might be easier if only you can let go of your heavy burden, but that'd probably mean someone else bearing it for you, or even imply that you'll likely become a heavy burden for the others instead :( 


DoubleX - Total Surrender (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-total-surrender)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(10 Sep 2025)
When you finally realize that there are so little things that you can even have a little control, you'll at last be forced to totally surrender yourselves to your surroundings during your whole lives, and you'll still have to keep controlling your perception, emotions and thinking hard into sincerely enjoying all these as divine blessing, all to avoid yourselves from complete collapse :) 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on September 17, 2025, 10:51:53 am
I just made my 33rd and 34th published song:
DoubleX - Deeply Touched (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-deeply-touched)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(16 Sep 2025)
As you become more and more compassionate towards the mankind, you'll feel more and more clearly that the majority of the humanity is constantly suffering immensely, and you'll be more and more deeply touched on just how powerless the civilization is against such widespread mental harm and pain for such a long time, especially when everything is just misfortune beyond everyone's control, so you'll want to be so empathetic that you won't ever blame anyone for anything anymore, but instead just focus on what you can do to mend the wounds in this dying ecosystem :) 


DoubleX - Too Weak To Live (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-too-weak-to-live)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(17 Sep 2025)
When you don't know how to deal with anyone else anymore for a long time, and you're not strong enough to be self-sufficient anytime soon, you'll eventually become too weak to live :( 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on September 21, 2025, 10:38:13 am
I just made my 35th and 36th published song:
DoubleX - Mental Suffocation (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-mental-suffocation)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(20 Sep 2025)
When you're suffocating mentally, it can be like drowning in the middle of the gigantic ocean without anyone else ever coming nor any mobile signal coverage, then it's only a matter of time before you become too exhausted to even stay afloat, and the endless sea waves will only further siphon your already lacking stamina X(


DoubleX - Utopian Dreams (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-utopian-dreams)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(21 Sep 2025)
If you ever have an utopian dream, you'll be so ecstatic that you don't wanna wake up forever, and the fact that it's always impossible to be even slightly real only makes you so attached to such idealistic illusions that you'll just want to repeat this over and over again :)
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on September 28, 2025, 10:49:38 am
I just made my 37th published song:
DoubleX - Chaotic Mind (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-chaotic-mind)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(27 Sep 2025)
When you can't think clearly for a long time, your brain will become such a mess that you'll become the one you know the least, so your mind will also be so chaotic that nobody can understand anything inside anymore :(
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on October 05, 2025, 10:25:22 am
I just made my 38th, 39th and 40th published song:
DoubleX - Drained Dry (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-drained-dry)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(3 Oct 2025)
As you have to do more and more to stay relevant in this world, you'll be more and more exhausted over time, until you become so drained that you'll feel completely dry emotionally for who knows how long X( 


DoubleX - Internal Turmoil (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-internal-turmoil)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(4 Oct 2025)
As you become more and more mature, you'll have more aspects of your lives to handle well at all times, causing you to be harder and harder to deal with them all at the same time, eventually you'll feel so conflicted that your soul will at last be trapped into a total unrest :( 


DoubleX - Habitually Overloaded (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-habitually-overloaded)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(5 Oct 2025)
Just as you wanna rest after being exhausted, your boss or family members ask you to do tasks that would be easy, simple and small for you if you weren't already that empty. If you just refuse while explaining that you're really so tired, they'll be very so displeased for your rejection on even such trivial extra works that they'll eventually want to fire or leave you; If you keep straining yourselves no matter what, you'll be so habitually overloaded that you'll eventually collapse and be done. So it's vital to control the ratio and rhythm of refusing versus accepting these demands to keep everything sustainable, but such a long yet thin wire is really just so insanely hard to walk for long QAQ 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on October 15, 2025, 09:36:41 am
I just made my 41st published song:
DoubleX - Feeling Unsure (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-feeling-unsure)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(15 Oct 2025)
Although I've spent hours to try to name this song, I still felt unsure about what the title should be, so I became lazy and just name this song as "Feeling Unsure" lol 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on October 19, 2025, 01:42:31 am
I just made my 42nd published song:
DoubleX - Finally Overwhelmed (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-finally-overwhelmed)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(17 Oct 2025)
Sometimes you can suddenly change from feeling fine to become totally overwhelmed in no time with obvious causes, but it's more often like a boiling frog - you gradually feel less and less fine bit by bit without realizing it, until you feel finally overwhelmed and at last know that you've never been really fine, but then it's all too late for you by then :( 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on October 22, 2025, 07:42:22 am
I just made my 43rd published song:
DoubleX - Take Myself Lightly (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-take-myself-lightly)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(22 Oct 2025)
If all I did didn't mean anything and I never mattered to anyone, then maybe it's time for me to just take myself lightly and move on, provided that I still have anywhere else to move to :) 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on October 26, 2025, 10:05:53 am
I just made my 44th published song:
DoubleX - World Of Harm (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-world-of-harm)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(26 Oct 2025)
As long as people keep harming themselves, each other as well as the whole ecosystem, we'll still be living in a world of harm, and this will only continue until we can finally let go of our fear of death, and thus break free of our survival instincts that have been trapping up all for so long :) 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on October 29, 2025, 07:12:41 pm
I just made my 45th published song:
DoubleX - Deserving Nobody (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-deserving-nobody)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(30 Oct 2025)
As whether you're deserving someone is determined by that someone, so in theory you can be deserving a person while not deserving another. But when everyone you've directly interacted with clearly shows that you're never deserving any of them, you'll probably feel that you won't ever meet someone who thinks you're deserving him/her, so it'd only be natural for you to think that you're always deserving nobody :( 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on November 01, 2025, 11:01:25 pm
I just made my 46th published song:
DoubleX - Unworthy Of Anything (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-unworthy-of-anything)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(30 Oct 2025)
When you can't use anything well and don't know how to do so for a long time, some of the others will blame you for wasting all you've, then after trying hard to change that but still failed, you'll eventually start to doubt whether you're actually unworthy of anything X( 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on November 08, 2025, 11:23:57 pm
I just made my 47th and 48th published song:
DoubleX - Bitterly Cold (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-bitterly-cold)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(7 Nov 2025)
When your heart feels bitterly cold, it's not because your surrounding is emotionally cold, but because you're always surrounded by very warm love but you can never feel any of it; What makes your feeling freezes to death isn't that no one tries to understand you, but that they always try very hard to empathize deeply but you still never know how to open up yourselves even one bit; This cold is so bitter not because no one cares about you, but because they've always done all they can but you're still helplessly going straight to absolute zero so painfully; What's worse than instantly frozen tears while crying is that you wanna cry so much but there's already no more tears left for you to cry :(
P.S.: It's the 2nd of my published songs that can make me weep at least slightly for a short time :) 


DoubleX - Bleak Fate (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-bleak-fate)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(9 Nov 2025)
Since the very existence of the mankind is just an unlikely evolutionary misfortune for the ecosystem, other species(especially those being extinct due to human activities) as well as those people themselves, and we never managed to coexist well with the nature, we're becoming terminal cancers of the very environment we deeply depend upon to survive, so our civilization's doomed to have such a bleak fate that we're destined to slowly destroy ourselves and everything around us X( 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on November 16, 2025, 04:46:16 am
I just made my 49th published song:
DoubleX - Ultimately In Vain (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-ultimately-in-vain)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(16 Nov 2025)
When you tried your best to give it all but it still doesn't work at the end, you can still enjoy the process and grow up from this learning experience, and some of those caring about you will likely support you at least slightly, but those needing a working result will still probably think that all that matters is that it's just a failure, so everything you've done is ultimately in vain for them :( 


Updates
DoubleX - Lost Forever(2nd Version) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-lost-forever)
Current version: 2nd(13 Nov 2025)
Major Changes:
Added chords to strengthen the climax of the main melody
Changed the instruments in some parts of the counter melodies
Changed the rhythms and ideas of the counter melodies themselves to make them more different than the main melody
Changed the percussion during the 2nd half of the music

While I feel that overall the 2nd version's noticeably better due to the counter melodies not being so dull and subordinate to the main melody, the 1st version does have a slightly cleaner and clearer main melody, so the latter's still here:
DoubleX - Lost Forever(1st Version) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zu1G8TDN8LQ)
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on November 19, 2025, 06:09:15 am
I just made my 50th published song:
DoubleX - Banished Negativity (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-banished-negativity)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(19 Nov 2025)
When the social norm becomes more and more inclined to avoid "negative people", especially for those using spirituality as a disguise of the underlying just-world hypothesis, you'll likely want to hope for never being very negative for long, or being able to help yourselves to return to at least apparently enough positivity on your own if that ever happens, otherwise you'll probably "deteriorate" into a part of the banished negativity and become effectively quarantined by the society, although it could be a karma boomerang if you refused to help every other "negative people" in the past when you could've helped at least some of them :( 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on November 30, 2025, 10:05:36 am
I just made my 51st and 52nd published song:
DoubleX - Facing The Storm Together(Mental Pain Relief) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-facing-the-storm)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(29 Nov 2025)
Although we all know that every storm, however how hostile it's to us, will eventually end, not all of us can persist until then regardless of whether we want to, especially for those being alone and lost their shelters, so maybe we can try to stay with each other and face the storm together, to hope that we'll all make it to see the sunrise :) 


DoubleX - Rest In Peace(Mental Pain Relief) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-rest-in-peace-mental)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(30 Nov 2025)
While we don't claim to feel or know the same pain as you did, at least we want to try to empathize and understand what you've experienced, and none of you deserved such a tragedy, so we wish you can all be finally free from any further suffering, and hope that you'll instead become eternally blessed.
May you all rest in peace, and you'll always be remembered. 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on December 03, 2025, 09:02:30 am
I just made my 53rd published song:
DoubleX - Heartfelt Condolences (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-heartfelt-condolences)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(3 Dec 2025)
Your tears will be seen, your voices will be heard, and your sorrow will be validated. It's normal for you to feel sad, and it's okay for you to ask for prolonged supports. You'll need time to accept what happened and it's totally fine, so you don't have to rush yourselves when trying to restart your lives. There's no need to soldier on all by yourselves, as you've our heartfelt condolences. We might not be able to do much for you, but at least we can try to make your situations less difficult.

P.S.: It's the 3rd of my music that made me weep, but this time it's mainly due to the devastating catastrophe they've experienced rather than this music itself, as it's so depressing for me to even just watch the live videos that I couldn't finish watching any of them, just to try to know what really happened :(
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on December 07, 2025, 01:36:35 am
I just made my 54th published song:
DoubleX - Starting Again(Mental Pain Relief) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-starting-again-mental)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(7 Dec 2025)
Everyone has their own rhythm and timing, especially those who has just lost everything after the tragedy, and they'll eventually start their lives again. While we might feel an immense sense of urge to "help" them recover sooner, these supports should be offered as options readily available to them, since we're just the choice givers and they're the ones being the choice makers of their lives, all to avoid our benevolence from deteriorating into subtle pressures, as this could ironically be their last straws. 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on December 25, 2025, 05:17:02 am
Updates
DoubleX - Bitterly Cold (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-bitterly-cold)
Current version: 2nd(25 Dec 2025)
Major Changes:
Fixed too many minor inconsistencies to be listed exhaustively here :)

I just made my 55th, 56th and 57th published song:
DoubleX - Bitterly Cold(Mental Pain Relief Variant) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-bitterly-cold-mental)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(25 Dec 2025)
If you ever become homeless, you'll likely feel bitterly cold outside, so it'd be nice to at least have some temporary shelters for you to sleep for a short time, and it'd be even better when there will always be helping hands when you need them the most, causing the cold to be not so bitter anymore :) 

DoubleX - Not Lost Forever(Mental Pain Relief Variant) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-not-lost-forever)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(25 Dec 2025)
When you almost lost everything at once, it'd only be natural for you to feel that all is permanently lost, but sometimes they're not lost forever, and one day some of them will likely either come back like the old times, or have replacements that suit you a lot better than before :) 

DoubleX - Repairing Broken Hearts(Mental Pain Relief Variant) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-repairing-broken)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(25 Dec 2025)
If you're still immensely suffering from the tragedy, it's hard for your hearts to be not broken, and it'd be normal for you to look away from the debris of your once complete hearts for quite some time. Although collecting those shattered pieces bit by bit every day is usually a tedious but necessary process when repairing broken hearts, you'll most likely know when it's time to start doing so, so there's no need to force yourselves into hurrying up :) 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on January 01, 2026, 07:57:58 am
I just made my 58th published song:
DoubleX - Reflective Solitude(Mental Pain Relief) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-reflective-solitude)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(1 Jan 2026)
When you're seriously hurt and suffering from severe losses, choosing either "reaching out for external connections and helps" or "consciously digesting the pains alone" can be okay for you. While sometimes your hearts want to open your wounds in front of your deeply trusted ones, there will be times your bodies will want to have a reflective solitude, and both are just natural needs during the healing processes, as long as you can maintain your awareness thorough the journey :)
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on January 04, 2026, 08:44:38 am
I just made my 59th published song:
DoubleX - Deeply Touched(Mental Pain Relief) (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-deeply-touched-mental)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(4 Jan 2026)
When so many people offer so much so needed help so effectively, it'd only be natural for many of these victims of the disasters, the helpers and those just witnessing all this to be so deeply touched by all the benevolence that they'll really want such altruism to become the norm of the rest of their lives :) 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on January 10, 2026, 11:43:42 pm
I just made my 60th published song:
DoubleX - Unbreakable Vicious Circle (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-unbreakable-vicious)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(11 Jan 2026)
When every part of your lives become worse and worse but you can't stop your contaminated cores from further rotting, it means you're in an unbreakable vicious circle, so all you can do is to witness how you'll eventually fail to hold your corrupt selves together :( 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on January 18, 2026, 09:24:08 am
I just made my 61st published song:
DoubleX - Point Of No Return (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-point-of-no-return)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(16 Jan 2026)
For almost everyone ever existed, life itself will eventually reach a point of no return. For some it's almost certain that the path will lead to heaven, for some others it's most likely going straight to hell, and for the rest the destination can be a total unknown. But the common ground is that nearly no one can go back even slightly after this, or the results will be much worse for basically everyone involved. So roughly speaking, all one can do is to continue to walk through all these til the end, regardless of what has happened and what will occur :) 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on January 25, 2026, 10:39:33 am
I just made my 62nd published song:
DoubleX - Completely Ruined (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-completely-ruined)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(25 Jan 2026)
Just when it's about to succeed, it suddenly becomes completely ruined; Just when you think something's nearly finished, it turns out to be completely ruined long ago without you knowing; Just when you feel close to someone you deeply trust, all of a sudden you're completely ruined by that someone; When more and more parts of your lives are completely ruined, you may as well just let everything about you to go completely ruined as well :( 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on February 05, 2026, 09:32:33 am
I just made my 63rd published song:
DoubleX - Enjoying Suffering (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-enjoying-suffering)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(4 Feb 2026)
While many think that both the heaven and hell are very far away from the existing civilization, they're actually both within the mankind all along. Those lucky enough to keep enjoying suffering while spreading its positive meanings to the world are already living in the heaven right here and now; Those unlucky enough to keep trying to escape and resist suffering while cursing any apparent cause are already living hellish lives that are much worse than even the worst death. Just as Sisyphus can never run from his fate but can always change how he understand and face it, nobody can skip any deep and immense suffering inherent to all human beings but we can all learn to painfully enjoy them in altruistic and sustainable ways :) 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on February 08, 2026, 12:07:23 pm
I just made my 64th, 65th, 66th and 67th published songs:
DoubleX - Letting Everybody Down (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-letting-everybody-down)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(8 Feb 2026)
When I'm too unable to finish anything, I'll be just letting everybody down no matter what I do or not do, and I can't just claim that it's at least partly their lessons to learn to deal with disappointment, so sometimes being so incompetent is already an unforgivable sin in itself :( 


DoubleX - Beautiful Sorrow (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-beautiful-sorrow)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(8 Feb 2026)
Usually most people mostly avoid all kinds of sadness, but for those who can keep peacefully facing the deep wounds of others and themselves, what they experience can become a beautiful sorrow, as long as they're neither deflecting their pains to the others nor holding those of the others on their own :) 


DoubleX - Fallen Apart (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-fallen-apart)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(8 Feb 2026)
If you've to hold something together but it's meant to be fallen apart, you can only slowly watch how it's gradually torn into shreds until you can't even find any last bit of pieces remaining. Although we all know we shouldn't cry for split milk, sometimes we'll still suffer so immensely that we just can't stop crying so painfully X( 


DoubleX - Doomed Destiny (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-doomed-destiny)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(8 Feb 2026)
As the mankind needs to develop AI to counter the increasing number of elderly and decreasing number of newborn under the dying global economy, the technologically advanced nations are forced to join the AI arms race until it can mostly replace most human jobs most of the time.
But then the 1% elites controlling those AI will treat the rest of the 99% as liabilities wasting resources rather than assets running the societies, so those 1% will use AI to gradually squeeze the living space and resources available to those 99% while forcing them to slowly rely more and more on those AI, causing those 99% to have no choice but to fight each other more and more violently for survival, thus decaying their already miserable world to be a hell and their already painful lives to become nightmares.
While more and more people realize this will likely be the future of the mankind before they naturally die, it's a doomed destiny that even those 1% elites can't stop it, or they'll soon have no place in the inevitable AI arms races :(
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on February 15, 2026, 07:02:58 am
I just made my 68th published song:
DoubleX - Rotten To The Core (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-rotten-to-the-core)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(13 Feb 2026)
As we're told to need to keep tangibly improving ourselves hard to barely stay relevant in this world, we always feel an immensely forced urge to become externally better quickly, even at the expense of mentally harming our internal selves deeply, until we seem to be highly successful on the surface but are actually rotten to the core without anyone knowing, and we won't recognize who we are anymore :( 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on February 22, 2026, 02:47:14 am
I just made my 69th published song:
DoubleX - Forsaken Roots (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-forsaken-roots)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(22 Feb 2026)
While it's natural to treat our cities of birth as our eternal roots, when they start dying slowly for decades and all we can do is to watch them gradually burn into ashes, it's only understandable for us to move to new homes and leave those forsaken roots behind :( 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on February 25, 2026, 07:19:15 am
I just made my 70th published song:
DoubleX - Widespread Misfortune (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-widespread-misfortune)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(22 Feb 2026)
As the world is inevitably complex and uncertain but the mankind is inherently fragile and afraid of dying, it'd be all too easy for most people to accumulate many deep Childhood Trauma like a faulty OS full of severe vulnerabilities, causing them to be passively injected by tons of limiting beliefs equivalent to computer viruses that frequently trigger their immense fear of death without them knowing, thus psychologically forcing them to engage in Self-defeating behaviors like infected machines that keep harming themselves as well as the others who'll also be instantly trapped by Amygdala Hijack, eventually leading to probably unstoppable chain reactions like an endless pandemic.
Although it'd be ideal for the most capable and resourceful ones to step up and help the humanity, they're also likely the most able ones to push their responsibilities onto the weaker ones, then it's only natural, under the apparent need of survival without those so-called threats, for the least powerful ones to be accountable for all those complexities for the rest of their lives.
While this can largely centralize those originally widespread misfortune into those especially unlucky ones, it's just the modern version of Human Sacrifice by cornering them to die from starvation after a prolonged lack of the material necessities or commit suicide due to multiple mental disorders.
As long as the majority are still unable to be aware that they've been living in low Levels of Consciousness, they'll need to think that it's all about clear rights and wrongs and be afraid of being incorrect, so they'll have to blame those deceased scapegoats for anything that can be linked to the latter, or the Just World Hypothesis being their only safety net would collapse, meaning that the societies would suffer from such mass panic that they can't even seem to run anymore X( 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on March 01, 2026, 12:02:38 am
I just made my 71st, 72nd and 73rd published songs:
DoubleX - Sorry For Existing (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-sorry-for-existing)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(26 Feb 2026)
They feel sorry for consuming food and water, they feel sorry for taking in oxygen and emitting carbon dioxide, they feel sorry for accidentally triggering Amygdala Hijack of even the most mentally unpredictable and unstable ones, and they feel sorry for saying sorry as well as not saying sorry...
In short, they feel sorry for existing and trying to cease existing, it's as if they forced their parents to be parents and especially THEIR parents, and it's as if they should've undone all the "harm" unknowingly done by them, as well as given hefty compensations for all those so-called wrongdoings :(


DoubleX - Permanent Shame (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-permanent-shame)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(27 Feb 2026)
Some aren't just ashamed of what they've done, but also of their very existence, and no amount of behavioral redemption can really relief such shame. Trying to let go of permanent shame by correcting the surface of oneself is like subtracting infinity by many large yet still finite numbers, and the end result will still be unending shame within your core X(


DoubleX - Excessive Emergencies (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-excessive-emergencies)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(1 Mar 2026)
While we all know that we've to sharpen the axe if we want to raise our long-term throughput, it's very often that, just when we're about to have time to do so, you'll be urgently ordered to immediately cut another tree using that already dull axe, and these excessive emergencies will keep the crunch mode on steroids, especially when the organizations seem to be "always" on the edge of collapse :(
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on March 04, 2026, 09:04:46 am
I just made my 74th and 75th published songs:
DoubleX - Irrevocable Tragedy (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-irrevocable-tragedy)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(3 Mar 2026)
They feel that they've almost lost everything and they can't find any way to ever come back, so they think that it's such an irrevocable tragedy that their lives already have no hope, then it's only natural for them to keep sobbing in agony while passively waiting for all this to end badly :(
P.S.: It's the 4th of my published music that can make me weep slightly for at least a short time :)


DoubleX - Unstoppable Weeping (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-unstoppable-weeping)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(4 Mar 2026)
There can be times where almost no one will even try to understand you a bit, and they'll instead find fault with you no matter what you do or not do, but you still wanna be at least slightly compatible with them, so you just accept their criticism and become ashamed of yourselves. Now all you'll have is unstoppable weeping when you're alone, until you've no tears left to cry and feel that your very existence are already too much :(
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on March 07, 2026, 07:56:15 pm
I just made my 76th, 77th and 78th published songs:
DoubleX - Want To Be Forgotten (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-want-to-be-forgotten)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(5 Mar 2026)
For some, they're so afraid of being forgotten that they'd rather risk their lives if they think that it's the only way for them to be remembered; But for some others, they want to be forgotten so much that they feel that they should had never existed X(


DoubleX - Fake Success (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-fake-success)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(6 Mar 2026)
For those who wants to be successful even at the cost of everything else, even a fake success is still much better than nothing, so they don't care whether such a life is what they truly want, or if the others really believe in their well-forged personal image, as long as things still appear to work the way they seem to desire, until they can no longer lie to anyone including themselves :(


DoubleX - Crippling Stagnation (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-crippling-stagnation)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(7 Mar 2026)
As you're the only source of income for your parents, those of your spouse as well as your kids, you feel obliged to provide for them all until you retire, so you feel trapped into your toxic yet well-paid job that's totally against your values, and you know that this crippling stagnation will eventually kill your soul by thousand cuts accumulated for years, so all you can do is to powerlessly watch your heart being slowly teared apart by ever increasing tensions built day by day X(
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on March 15, 2026, 02:34:19 am
I just made my 79th published song:
DoubleX - Devoid Of Expectations (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-devoid-of-expectations)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(14 Mar 2026)
Since the only one you can directly control is yourself, you won't be able to force anyone else to do anything, so you'll have no choice but to be devoid of expectations towards the others, and all you can do is to treat your request of their help as lottery tickets(their fees, probabilities and rewards depends on the request contents and targets), meaning that any fulfilled ones are just bonus and nothing else should be taken for granted :) 
Title: Re: DoubleX Music Room
Post by: DoubleX on March 18, 2026, 07:20:44 am
I just made my 80th published song:
DoubleX - Self-Objectification (https://soundcloud.com/devourbladex/doublex-self-objectification)
"Description": ShowHide

Current version: 1st(16 Mar 2026)
As human needs societies to survive and societies need human to keep running, it's nearly impossible for the majority to contribute to the societies their ways(or it'd mean always perfect matches of role demands and passion/talent supplies), hence many of them will be forced to do what they don't want, and self-objectification will be the only mean to keep all this sustainable, so the societies can still hold themselves together :(
Text only | Text with Images