And I looked at her. Her eyes are shining bright of joy. She can't believe that this is happening to her. Her emotions are so strong that she is almost overwhelmed. I am just watching her and I can see how good the emotions that I caused, make her feel. I, on the other side, am calm. Not a single emotion is flowing through my body. I am actually better off than her. Because I am happy. I can see the wide smile on her lips. I can hear her giggle. My smile isn't as wide. But my smile is stronger. My smile is generated from a constant happiness deep within. When her mood changes, she won't be as joyful as she is now, but I will remain happy nevertheless.
More junk to come. I actually often have chunks of thoughts like these when remembering and processing recent events. They're kind of cool so I thought I'd share some.
When I realized what actually happened to me, I realized that it had changed me. My mind had been altered. It was all still the same, but it was suddenly different. I could see things clearer. I understood that deep within there was a powerful force that had driven me. But the force was protected by a barrier ever since. I didn't realize that the barrier grew weaker and weaker as the power grew stronger and stronger during the days, weeks, months, even years. At one point the barrier was so thin that it was easily penetrated. And I accidentally destroyed it. After the barrier was gone, the only thing left was the power within, raw power. I realize that nothing has really changed, nevertheless I will never be the same again. Now that I have seen the light, I cannot go back anymore.
Erotica to megalomania in two posts. If it was anyone else, me even, I'd be worried. Still, fucking world class writing.
I'm horny... I'm going to go look up porn. Mmm, midget squirter power rangers. OH GOD WHY DID I FAP TO THAT! Okay, calm down we'll just eat some sausages and rock back and forth crying about how pathetic our life is. Why do I always think like it's two of me... ah well. I am almost out of paper towels... store run. Oh, she's hot... oh yeah, I'm going to jack off to her when I get home. !!! Did I just say that out loud?! Okay, calm down... walk the other way. Paper towels... paper towels. It's sort of cold in this store. Ah well, check out time. I'd fuck that cashier... nay, I'd rape that cashier. I bet her vagina tastes like altoid mints. Hmm, I'm at my apartment now... it's cold here too... oh shit, my zippers undone. I forgot to wear underwear today? Fuck, this is like the third time this year my dick has been exposed. Sigh... might as well log on to chaos project. Chunks of Thoughts topic huh? I wonder what it's about... oooh interesting. Hehe, I guess I'll share my story.
I'm horny...
So conceited :uhm:
It's my inner thought process, I'd rather say narcissistic. But I don't mind that. You can't love others if you don't love yourself first. But that doesn't make me a narcissist that only loves himself.
@Rose: Exactly what I meant. I have trains of thoughts like these as well. But since they are probably 90% identical to everybody else's, I don't consider them interesting enough to post.
@Niche: If there were no video games in today's world, I would have been a writer.
And here is another one.
Actually when I think of it, it doesn't matter. It was my choice anyway. I was the one in control. I am the one in control. Heh, I didn't see it like that. I make a decision and go through with it without being afraid of consequences. What is the worst thing that could happen anyway? Hm... actually there is a lot that could go wrong. Yes, I can see it now. My whole thought process has changed. It has evolved. When I am to make a decision, I don't stop and dwell on it. I don't run possible negative scenarios and mess myself up. Instead I just do it. It has become almost my default thinking process in situations like these. I am simply going forward and only forward. While everything in my life seems to be a variable, even though currently in a state that I like, this one single thing is a constant. It feels like a straight arrow in a pool of whirlwinds and nothing can disrupt it. Yes. This is it. It's so obvious. Whatever I do, I can only move forward. It feels like I can't make a mistake, like I can't do anything wrong. And if somebody does go wrong, I can learn from it more than from a successful outcome. I am going forward.
Hm... This turned out quite abstract since it has loads of things at the same time.
EDIT: BTW, all of this is in a context. The really abstract parts aren't literal. Like that "power deep within". I say power, but I am talking about confidence. It feels like a force within me that penetrates through any fear, through any insecurity, through anything. Oh, lol, I did it again. It's another chunk of thought.
And here goes another one...
So you wake up every morning and do your daily routine. You get up, go to the bathroom, maybe some breakfast and then either school or work. After school or work you may or may not hang out with friends and it's already evening. You go to bed. Next day, same thing, same mediocre daily routine. Sure, that's ok. This is your reality. If you want to keep living a life where you are not happy, that is. I'm not saying that you are unhappy. But are you truly happy? You are probably not truly happy in a fulfilling way. What if I told you that you can go out and meet new people right away? What if I told you that you can go down the street and everybody will turn around after they walk past you? What if I told you that you can almost radiate positive energy with every move of your body, with every word you say and with breath you take? What if I told you that you can be the kind of person that people want to have around? What if I told you that you can go out and talk to every person in a club and make friends with them? What if I told you that all that is possible and very well with your reach, that you can go beyond your own expectations of yourself, free yourself from the chains of mediocrity and become awesome? Yes, you are in my reality now.
Yo Blizzard, I'm really happy for Ou and imma let you finish, but RoseSkye had one of the best chunks of thoughts of all time. OF ALL TIME
I'd tell you that I know a person who can do that and he has almost killed me on two occasions.
This time it's a short poem.
Being torn apart is my reality
and into a blur everything is fading.
The remains of my former me
are crumbling away as if they never existed
The new light I am embracing
and the new darkness however twisted.
Y'know the friend I mentioned? Again, that's kinda like him. I'm getting creeped out now.
Still, cool poem. At the moment, I've got Three Days Grace - Almost Over stuck in my head. It got louder as I read that.
I'm standing right behind you...
:V
Even he can't do that...Wha...what are you?
Hold back the rush
Don't let it free
Brain turns to mush
And my mind fool me
Wait with patience for it
Let it rise from the know
For Love is a tight fit
And Love become your foe
If patience won't prevail
Convince yourself it's fine
If all else fail
And you're still not mine
Don't let it win
Fight back with your anger
Focus it away from sin
Don't put your life in danger
Grip the bar tight
It's nearly over
Don't bother to fight
It is you the blanket will cover