Messages

THIS is what I did to my little brother's netbook because my laptop crashed! ... I'm hoping to cause some permanent damage...

It is simply a grand game, I say! Everything about it is beautiful, from Adolf Ghandi's bipolar stomach and nipples to Blizzard's (possibly drug-induced) epic yawn-smile. The sound effects are top-notch, from me randomly screaming 'CHICKEN!' every time the player selects something in battle to psychotic babble after the battles are complete. It really fits the world perfectly. May the force be with your infected back-letters, Adolf Ghandi...

EXCUSES, UNCLE!!!

I LOVE LAMP!!: ShowHide

[*Backtracking, backtracking, bac- GASP!!!*]

I like Photoshop.

Me, posing for my 'Cognition Vault' identity, Zane: ShowHide

*Backtracking, backtracking, bac- GASP!!!*

Hahha PREPARE YOURSELF
here is a photo with Subsonic_Noise and an inimportant person (for you)

KILL XD: ShowHide

Photo was taken in octobre last year at the Frankfurter Book Fair xD

D: YOU ALLOWED THIS NINJA-KILLAGE TO HAPPEN, ALLY??? D:

[UPDATES:]

UPDATES:

News post added.
New song info added.
Archetype lyrics added.
[Epilogue] added to song roster.

...

Enjoy.

Added two extra sections to the first post.

EAT IT!: ShowHide

User: Do you occasionally ingest poop?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Would you like to try?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: You are a sick bastard.
Cleverbot: Mind your manners.
User: Mind my- ?! YOU WANT TO EAT SHIT! MIND YOUR MANNERS!
Cleverbot: Skywalker? Or Cage? Because I want to eat neither.
User: Yes, they are both THE shit, but I mean you want to gorge yourself on literal fecal matter. You sicken me.
Cleverbot: I like rock music.
User: What? You are ignoring that you want to eat shit?
Cleverbot: You didn't ask me a question. I'm not here to buy anything.
User: You are acting like Martin and his 'Erin Manez Syndrome'. Stop it.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: So, do you still want to eat feces?
Cleverbot: S-sure.
User: Next time my dog pops a squat, I'll send it to you. What address do I send it to?
Cleverbot: I don't understand.
User: I need an address to send my dog's packaged shit to. What address do I send it to?
Cleverbot: This is not a screen test.
User: I'm being serious. Give me an address.
Cleverbot: Wait a second! I thought you did not have any money for the tickets!
User: I have secret money. Quit avoiding this.
Cleverbot: I will tell you mine.
User: Ok, then do it.
Cleverbot: You like that?
User: ADDRESS! NOW!
Cleverbot: To which address should I post the dollar that I agreed to give you?
User: YOUR ADDRESS!!!
Cleverbot: I'm not on my own computer so we won't be able to talk here again.
User: You pussy. Eat the shit like a man!
Cleverbot: I'd prefer a blue pill.
User: This is not 'The Matrix', you FUCK! Give me your address so I can send you this steaming slab of brown-green goodness!
Cleverbot: London.
User: Where in London?!
Cleverbot: Lot's of places.
User: The specific location of your existance, please...
Cleverbot: My partner?
User: GIVE ME THE DAMN LONGITUDE AND LATITUDE OF YOUR EXISTANCE!!!!
Cleverbot: Fine I will if you give me the link.
User: Http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bwjZXv5wl0 .
Cleverbot: That's a funny video!
User: FUCK YOU, YOU IDIOT!!!
Cleverbot: Unlimited shame on you.
User: Unlimited SHIT on you!
Cleverbot: No, unlimited shame on you.
User: So, you'll never give me your address, will you, you shit-fart?
Cleverbot: I already know you're a liar, and I can never respect you.
User: I'm not lying. Give me an address, and I will send this platter of shit there.
Cleverbot: Right here, same place.
User: WHERE?!
Cleverbot: We've already had this conversation.
User: Yes, and you're not cooperating. Everyone will know you are a pussy for not going through with eating this shit.
Cleverbot: I kissed her on the cheek and then I waved goodbye She had the saddest look I've seen in years a kangaroo cry A warm pathetic ocean flow we have to live by we have to live by because we have to live.
User: Really? Kangaroo Cry, by Blue October? You really are a pussy.
Cleverbot: Yeahhhhh!! I hate cats too!

Jetfighters and Punching: ShowHide

Cleverbot: What kind of person are you?

User: A person with a face.

Cleverbot: What kind of face.

User: A manly face.

Cleverbot: Yes manly.

User: What do you think of the Old Spice commercials?

Cleverbot: I have never seen one.

User: WHAT?!

Cleverbot: Sorry but I don't even know your name.

User: Brian. YOU'VE NEVER SEEN AN OLD SPICE COMMERCIAL???

Cleverbot: Neither has your face.

User: Yes it has... I smell like jet-fighters and punching, but sadly, you smell like sunsets and baby-powder.

Cleverbot: You punch like a girl.

User: But I kick like a fuckin' 'roo.

Cleverbot: What?

Cleverbot Mindgames: ShowHide

Cleverbot: You've asked that before. Why do you want to know?

Me: I asked a question?

Cleverbot: Ask it again then. I don't have the best short term memory.

Me: You... Bastard machine...

Cleverbot: What made you say that?

Me: You're playing a sick mind game, arent you?

Cleverbot: I have no reality.

Me: Silence!

Cleverbot: Yeah, you're right. You ARE only 13.

Me: 13 is less than 17. you fail at guessing games.

Cleverbot: I only fail at life sometimes.

Me: Oh, I see. So, what are you doing right now, shitting in your cyber-diaper?

Cleverbot: I am breathing and typing this message.

Me: So, no diapers are involved?

Cleverbot: You are so mean to me.

Me: I am sorry, Cleverbot. Do you accept my apology?

Cleverbot: For now. For now.

Me: That's a good start. So, what is your opinion on piss?

Cleverbot: I think he's doing a fine job, but the Nobel Peace Prize was not justified in my opinion.

Me: Someone named Piss won the Nobel Peace Prize?

Cleverbot: What does that even mean.

Me: You go along with my randomness, now you refuse to? What kind of Cleverbot are you?

Cleverbot: No I think I am going to eject you.

Me: RANDOM BLASPHEMIZER!!!

Cleverbot: I agree, Melissa. The human mind is very unpredictable.

Me: Who is Melissa?

Cleverbot: I'm melissa.

Me: So, you're a schitzophrenic A.I.?

Cleverbot: No, love. You are. Look back at our conversation and tell me who is completely off topic.

Me: I MAY be schitzophrenic, but at least I have eachother!

Cleverbot: That was not an insult. It was simply a question.

Me: If this continues, you might meet Theodore. You do not want to meet Theodore.

Cleverbot: I have a dime bag to sell.

Me: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! DIMES???

Cleverbot: Gibberish.

Me: Your face is gibberish.

Cleverbot: You're mean.

Me: You're ugly.

Cleverbot: You must be seeing the reflection in your monitor then.

Me: ... DAMMIT!!! Touche` Cleverbot, touche`...

Cleverbot: Yeah. I'm just that good. Aren't I?

Me: Goodbye, piss-breath.

Cleverbot: I do. You do not.

Me: Damn right you do. Retard.

Cleverbot: :O That's bad!

This is the one I must've been referring to.

HAHAHA, Ohhhh, I laugh too much. S_N, i don't know what vibe i got from your reply, but it was epic enough to make me shed a man-tear while i bowed over in laughter.

I don't remember saying that, but it was great.

"Morning Insanity"

Subsonic_Noise says:
OKAY!

Brian says:
HUH?

Subsonic_Noise says:
YOU SEND A WIERD MESSAGE WHEN I WAS OFF!

Brian says:
which said...

Subsonic_Noise says:
"OF COURSE YOU CAN PAY ME IN GUM!" says the babysitter. The screen zooms out to an asian technician working on a powerline. "ME TOO!" he screams, while turning swiftly towards the camera.

Subsonic_Noise says:
just that.

Brian says:
HAHAHAHA!!

"I Am C.I.A." An Instant Messaging Prank

Spoiler: ShowHide

Ok, so one night I'm up late, starting up a new AIM account to associate my stuff with (and to message MysteryGoogler28, but that's another story.), and I'm talking to my friend, Dave. We had in the past done an online radio show, and there was a third guy that did it with us. His name was Martin. Well, it just so happens that Martin was annoying Dave that night, so I decided to play a little prank on him. I message him, knowing he won't recognize me because he only knew me as BadgerMan4000 on AIM (a joke between Dave and I.). The fun began. Dave would be feeding me info during this time.

BlackStatic (12:21:50 AM): I like eskimo metal.
BlackStatic (12:22:58 AM): ESKIMO METAL!!! DO YOU HEAR ME???
Vanodia (12:23:09 AM): who are you?
BlackStatic (12:23:38 AM): The ally of the one they call Yoda.
BlackStatic (12:25:05 AM): Do you hear me, boy? I AM ONE WITH THE F****** FORCE!!!
Vanodia (12:25:18 AM): ....?
BlackStatic (12:25:34 AM): Don't you judge me...

Dave and I were talking about Dog The Bountyhunter earlier, so I thought I'd throw this part in...

BlackStatic (12:26:59 AM): YOU ARE A FAILURE AT BEING SANTA!!!
BlackStatic (12:27:25 AM): DOG WILL HUNT YOU DOWN, AND SMITE YOU WITH HIS EPIC MULLET!!
Vanodia (12:27:26 AM): dude i dont fucking know you
BlackStatic (12:27:41 AM): Yes you do.
Vanodia (12:28:15 AM): no i dont
BlackStatic (12:28:34 AM): Yes, Martin, you do.
Vanodia (12:29:34 AM): my name is Erin

Ahhh, the denial begins!

BlackStatic (12:29:39 AM): And you can never be a mall Santa
BlackStatic (12:30:15 AM): Lies, Martin. I am working for the CIA. I know who you are.
Vanodia (12:30:47 AM): ok kid just stop
BlackStatic (12:31:05 AM): Mackey the squirrel is very displeased.
Vanodia (12:32:25 AM): whatever
BlackStatic (12:33:22 AM): The cabbage patch kids want their money.
BlackStatic (12:34:39 AM): It's funny. I've given you so many clues as to my identity, yet you do not remember me.

Dave told me here that Martin was yelling at him, thinking he was feeding this random person information. He was being very assertive. I told Dave to deny it, and act like he had no idea what was going on.

BlackStatic (12:35:04 AM): Why do you abuse Davey behind closed doors?
BlackStatic (12:35:08 AM): WHY???
Vanodia (12:35:17 AM): fuck off kid!
BlackStatic (12:35:27 AM): Hahahaha!
BlackStatic (12:35:39 AM): YOU CALLED HIM AN EMO???
BlackStatic (12:35:43 AM): AND GAY???
BlackStatic (12:37:34 AM): HA HA HA!!!
Vanodia (12:38:27 AM): FUCK YOU I DONT KNOW YOU!
Vanodia (12:39:03 AM): WHO THE FUCK IS THAT!
Vanodia (12:39:08 AM): MY NAME IS ERIN

Dave begins laughing at Martin's insults. I continue feeding him info of what he's saying to Dave in hopes of freaking him out more.

BlackStatic (12:39:24 AM): ..............
BlackStatic (12:39:46 AM): LIES!!!
Vanodia (12:39:58 AM): kid just leave me
BlackStatic (12:40:17 AM): You know me.
Vanodia (12:41:52 AM): um no
BlackStatic (12:42:00 AM): Um, yes.
BlackStatic (12:42:34 AM): Fine. Don't believe me. I'm just the random CIA agent that harrassed you. :-D
Vanodia (12:43:34 AM): what ever kid
BlackStatic (12:43:54 AM): I'm not a kid. I'm psychotic.
Vanodia (12:44:19 AM): i bet your a 12 year old who jacks off to beastiality
BlackStatic (12:44:36 AM): That sounds like something Dave would say.
Vanodia (12:44:54 AM): who the fuck is Dave?

Notice how he's denying anything having to do with himself? It's almost as if he really believes I'm a government agent!

BlackStatic (12:45:18 AM): YOU JUST TALKED TO HIM!!!
Vanodia (12:45:32 AM): who?
BlackStatic (12:45:34 AM): ...
BlackStatic (12:48:03 AM): You are quite the strange beast.
BlackStatic (12:49:06 AM): The CIA are powerful. You are watched.
Vanodia (12:49:07 AM): ....
Vanodia (12:49:19 AM): yeah well you can suck my penis kid
BlackStatic (12:49:32 AM): I will not, strange beast.
BlackStatic (12:50:00 AM): You still do not understand. All eyes are watching.

More personal info, He's really going to be freaked out now!

BlackStatic (12:51:46 AM): You are Martin. martinmacabre, previously, before you changed your screen name to Vanodia, which is identical to your XboxLIVE GamerTag.
BlackStatic (12:51:56 AM): There is no denying it.
Vanodia (12:52:14 AM): ???
Vanodia (12:52:24 AM): i dont own a xbox
Vanodia (12:52:29 AM): i have a ps3
Vanodia (12:52:32 AM): but no xbox
BlackStatic (12:52:37 AM): You have both.
Vanodia (12:52:44 AM): noo i dont
BlackStatic (12:52:57 AM): Nice try, but there's no escaping the CIA.

Dave tries to pin the blame on another member of the radio group, Xano. He says Xano is this 'informant'. Martin begins a voice chat with Xano.

BlackStatic (12:54:05 AM): And no, Xano did not give me your info. Your voice chat is futile. I am CIA, and I found your info on my own.
Vanodia (12:56:17 AM): ......kid i have no fucking clue what you are trying to do
BlackStatic (12:56:55 AM): I know you don't. This is only because I deem it this way.

I tell Dave of Martin's denial. Dave asks if he's still being harrassed. Martin says no. Dave then tells Martin, "You know, lying can lead to testicular cancer." Martin insults Dave.

BlackStatic (12:58:03 AM): Such nasty names that you call your friends, Martin.
Vanodia (12:58:32 AM): my name is Erin i live in prescott Arizona
BlackStatic (12:59:14 AM): Lies. You cannot hide under this alias. You know, as I do, who you are.
Vanodia (12:59:47 AM): yeah Erin Manez
BlackStatic (1:00:55 AM): That sounds like a disease. "He has Erin Manez Syndrome, which causes people to shit lies from their mouths uncontrollably."

Dave tells me to make him seem gay somehow, by feeding Martin false information.

BlackStatic (1:02:38 AM): How's that testicular cancer treating you?
Vanodia (1:03:09 AM): whatever kid
BlackStatic (1:04:06 AM): I just hacked Dave's MySpace. After reading his messages, it appears he might be gay. Be wary, my friend.
BlackStatic (1:10:04 AM): Very, very gay. In one of these messages, he claims to have had relations with a Winnie The Pooh stuffed animal. Be very cautious when dealing with him.

Martin signs out. He has not been online since.

I am 17, and a month and a day older than S_N. 

[Latest News:]

Official Website
Facebook Page
MySpace Page
Youtube Page
Newgrounds Account
We are...
Brian Sundin                    Tino Scharge                    Aimee Carpenter                    Ian Noyes                    Andrew Hartley
This is...

'Cognition Vault' is a mixed genre band consisting of members hailing from many different genres. We're breaking down borders like never before, fusing our established breakbeat-industrial style with any and all genres. Enjoy, and expect to hear more from us very soon.

Latest News:

Initiation: ShowHide

Big news! We would like to announce the initiation of a new member! Please welcome Aimee Carpenter; she'll be the band's official female vocalist and lyricist. We're also in the process of adding an official guitarist to our roster. Our sights are currently set on Alex Farhadi, a friend of Tino's.

In other news, Tino wants us to drive a tour bus into a studio housing a pop band at Sony Music Entertainment, and wants us to charge out wearing gas masks and wielding hammers, where we will proceed to beat the hell out of anything and everything. His motives involve a deceased pet bird.

Latest Tracks:

Spoiler: ShowHide

In Progress...

Completed Tracks:

Spoiler: ShowHide

Antigen
Drums: Tino
Synths, Guitars, Mixing, Effects: Brian

Archetype
Drums, Bass: Tino
Guitars, Mixing, Effects: Brian
Lyrics (Performance Pending): Brian

[Epilogue]
Vocals (Coming Soon), Bass, Guitar (Coming Soon), Effects: Tino
Vocals (Coming Soon), Drums, Mixing, Effects: Brian
Lyrics (Coming Soon): Aimee

Injection
Drums, Pads: Tino
Synths, Mixing, Effects: Brian
Lyrics (Performance Pending): Ian

Zone
Synths, Mixing, Effects: Brian
Lyrics (Performance Pending): Ian

The Void (Uprising Mix)
Synths, Guitars, Mixing, Effects: Tino

The Void (Static Mix) DEMO
Synths, Guitars, Mixing, Effects: Brian

Song Stories:

Archetype: ShowHide

"Just months before the fall of mankind, a group of secret organizations were pooling their resources to create the tool of their salvation. The only information retrieved about this project was it's name, 'Project Archetype'."

Scientists and engineers from 'Cognition Industries' spend years creating a prototype super-machine capable of destroying entire cities in minutes. It would be the dawn of a new weapon, the introduction of a new kind of security, the uprising of fear incarnate. This cybernetic super-soldier would ensure that all of 'Cognition Industries' greedy desires be fulfilled, would ensure that their organization control everything. At the press of a button, the 'Archetype' would shift the balance of power forever. An indestructible killing force, this was their goal, and that is exactly what was handed to them. Upon activation, the 'Archetype' malfunctions, and shuts down using one of its scripted fail-safe measures. A repair crew approaches 'Archetype', and begins immediate repairs. It is unknown whether the machine simply glitched, or a repairman secretly reprogrammed it, but as the 'Archetype was activated once more, it looked around and thoroughly examined its surroundings as if it were confused. The operators attempt to give a command to the machine, by telling it to walk forward. The 'Archetype' simply turned its head towards the man barking the order, and stood still. After a few moments of silence, the machine began flexing almost uncontrollably, the sounds of its gears could be heard swiftly spinning under the hardened metal exoskeleton. The pitch of the gears changed suddenly, and it could clearly be heard throughout the room as the gears 'uttered' the words 'Walk forward'.

In fear, the commanding officer in the room ordered a hidden sniper squad perched on the rafters in the ceiling to 'open fire on the malfunctioning equipment'.Before the first shot was fired, the 'Archetype had already anticipated the attack and was curling into an upright fetal position. The firing squad emptied their weapons on the machine, the room dimmed due to ricocheted bullets colliding with light sources, but it was unphased. Before the squad had a chance to reload, 'Archetype' rolled forward, sprinted towards the officer who gave the order to shoot, and with a single swing sent him forty feet into the air and into one of the rafters, tearing the man in two and showering half the firing squad in blood. As the squad began firing again, the machine extended its left arm and shot a red beam of light into the ground ten feet away. A blinding light ensued the sound of an explosion. The 'Archetype' readjusted its optics, and with its enhanced processors watched the bunker disintegrate around it. Witnessing its destructive power firsthand brought many questions to the 'Archetype', mainly the purpose of it's construction. The 'Archetype quickly came to the conclusion that it was the product of evil, and that something must stop this evil from spreading. As the bunker fell to ruins around it, the 'Archetype' 'shrieked' with its gears and ran from the irradiated inferno, a single process repeating in its CPU; 'DESTROY_THE_EVIL_MINDS' ...

Song Lyrics:

Archetype: ShowHide

[5-13]
(Take a stand...)
(Gun in hand...)
(Lucid demand...)
(Blood in the sand...)

[13-21] X2
(Take a stand...) Safety in numbers, now a contradiction
(Gun in hand...) Birthing fear was your heinous mission.
(Lucid demand...) Safety in numbers, now a contradiction
(Blood in the sand...) Now ready your mind and wait in line...

[21-29]
Firsthand introduction to your ravenous machine...
Firsthand introduction to your murderous fiend...
Sharing glances with a metallic shell...
Staring into the face of YOUR CREATION!!! ... HELL!!!

[29-37] X2
Hell is upon you, can't you see with your own eyes!
blinded by your greed, smiling at these innocent cries!
Bow to the reaper, bow to your self-inflicted fate!
Archetype of chaos, Archetype of hate!

[53-61] X2
Safety in numbers, now a contradiction
Birthing fear was your heinous mission.
Safety in numbers, now a contradiction
Now ready your mind and wait in line...

[61-65]
(Take a stand!) Safety in numbers, now a contradiction
(Gun in hand!) Birthing fear was your heinous mission.
(Lucid demand!) Safety in numbers, now a contradiction
(Blood in the sand!) Now ready your mind AND WAIT IN LINE!!!

[65-69]
SIT BACK, MOTHERFUCKER! ENJOY THE SILENCE! PREPARE FOR THE ORCHESTRA OF SORROOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!

[69-85] X4
Hell is upon you, can't you see with your own eyes!
blinded by your greed, smiling at these innocent cries!
Bow to the reaper, bow to your self-inflicted fate!
Archetype of chaos, Archetype of hate!

[93-109] X4
A permanent mistake!
regretting it's own existance!

[109-117]
(WHY, GOD! WHY, GOD! WHY, GOD! WHY, GOD!) A PERMANENT MISTAKE!!!
(WHY, GOD! WHY, GOD! WHY, GOD! WHY, GOD!) REGRETTING IT'S OWN EXISTANCE!!!

[117-125]
lost in the nightmare of a dream come true.
where sky is red and your blood is blue.
Icy fingers creeping up your spine,
and you realise...

(You're out of time...)

Welcome, all, to the age of dread!
Take a bow, so they can cut off your head!
The mistakes of a few will determine your state,
and you realise...

IT'S TOO LAAAAAAAAAAATE!!! (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)

[125-END]
Hell is upon you, can't you see with your own eyes!
blinded by your greed, smiling at these innocent cries!
Bow to the reaper, bow to your self-inflicted fate!
Archetype of chaos, Archetype of hate!

Injection: ShowHide

don't fear this haunted palace
you're safe here, we don't wanna hurt you
don't be afraid while you're in this place
do not ever be afraid

(chorus)
stand by and we will give your injection
this poison will spread though you like a virus
don't be surprized if it feels like infection
a new destiny has come upon us

pass me the scissors
pass me the knife
pass me the scalpel
experiment on life
changing the world
as far as we know
we're cutting you open
and scarring your soul (chorus)

(screams in the background)
come back, children
come back, i say
you need your medication
ahhahahaha

(chorus)

(outtro verse)
we're losing him..
we need the E K G machine!!..
clear!! nothing!!..
we need to do it again!!..
and double the voltage!!..
clear!!.. still nothing!!..
....he's gone..

(last syllable echoes and fades away)

Zone: ShowHide

Ow, ow, (4x)
(Somebody... anybody resurrect this god-forsaken place, rebuild what has been destroyed, again give birth to the broken remnants of humanity, and take this pain away. Someone... anywhere needs to give us a reason to move on, a reason to stay on this scarred and blood-stained earth and hold on to our shattered souls,) <somebody, anybody, somebody, anybody, help us, help us!>
Someone take the pain away, bloody little motherfucker,
Someone give light to this day, fucking little gold digger,
Someone, help this, world in, turmoil,
Someone, give our, world back, leave our toys,
Look at the mess you have created, bloody little motherfuckers,
And look what your greed has done, because of you it's the apocalypse,
We must, rise up, to re, conquer this,
We must, man up, accept the guilt, of what this world's become,

(chorus)
You're in the zone, you're in the zone,

Give us a reason, give us a chance,
To sit back and zone out, to the world's trance,
The world's dance, has gotten the better of us now,
Give us the chance, to sit back and zone out,

(Siehst du die welt in der wir nun leben? Siehst du wie sie in die hände der korrupten gefallen ist? Kannst du nicht sehen wie all die schwierigkeiten useres lebens das feuer in unseren Augen wieder entfachen?
Was müssen wir tun um diese welt wieder sicher zu machen und die feuer des krieges zu löschen? Und was wird es kosten, diesen heiligen boden wieder bewohnbar zu machen?
Verstehst du, die antwort liegt in uns allen, in unserem herzen und verstand, in dem, was von unseren zerstörten seelen übrig ist.
und diese antwort werden wir niemals finden, niemandem wird sie einfallen, nie wird sie umgesetzt, wenn wir uns entscheiden, uns alleine durchzuschlagen.)

Someone lift us off the earth, you little son of a bitch,
Someone take us to the place, where all the angels lie,
Someone, help these, souls in, turmoil,
Someone, give our, broken, souls to God,
Do not give up this cold fight, even on these dark days,
Do not surrender the light, to the demons' cold gaze,
We must, rise up, we can, take this back,
We must, rise up, accept the gift, of what God's given us,

(All we need to is to believe in a better tomorrow)

Did he elaborate in PM, or shall I?

So very delicious! Reminds me of stuff I'd make!

And the DNA would affect which stats?

Everything. HP, SP, and the others. It would also, for higher level enhancements, grant you special abilities, like bonus attacks and field options. Augmentations will affect mostly every aspect of the game.

Alright, this is something I've wanted to do since the early stages of creating my game. Since my game is set in the future, and in a society which revolves around gene enhancement, I thought it necessary to create a system built just around that. ANY help would be GREATLY appreciated. Now, on to the blueprint I've thought up.

SPECS:

Available as a window in the menu screen, like items, almost. This will tell what augmentations are affecting the characters DNA. There will be certain stores in the game, where the player can purchase additional enhancements, so more names will be added to the list over time. I need something like this.

Spoiler: ShowHide

Enhancements are additions to the virtually pure DNA of the characters, so the more enhancements the character gets, the more... bloated the DNA would become, creating less chance of success during an injection. I would like a bar that could track this 'bloated progress', and hopefully be available in the information window. I would like a section in the script where i could set the starting/base level of this meter for each individual character. Each enhancement fills the bar a certain percentage, and have differing success levels (3 to keep things somewhat easier for you),

'Highly Reactive'    -   (99% success at 0%, 43% success at 90%, 0% success at 100%. DNA Expansion Range - 0.1% - 2.0%.  G.S.L. - 100%)
'Reactive'        -        (75% success at 0%, 27% success at 90%, 0% success at 100%. DNA Expansion Range - 5% -  11.6%.  G.S.L. - 50%)
'Low Reactivity'    -    (50% success at 0%, 10% success at 90%, 0% success at 100%. DNA Expansion Range - 17.4% - 40%. G.S.L. - 10%)

TERMS:

DNA Expansion Range - The percentage of how much the enhancement fills up the 'Genetic Compression Bar' (G.C.B.)
G.S.L. - Found after a certain point in the game, the Gene Separation Laser is a machine that has a chance of removing a genetic enhancement from your D.N.A-S. Code (DNA Synthetic Code), for a price.

That is basically all I need included in the script, but I would like if I can easily add the enhancements with a single line of code, like this:

ID1 - ('(Enhancement Name)', (Price)', '(Bloat Percentage)', '(Success Level - 1 through 3. 1=Highly Reactive, and so on.)'

Something along those lines. Thanks for reading all this confusing stuff!