[XP] Shaq Fu RPG 2: Goatse Beckons (completed Blizz-ABS game)

Started by Nameless, September 29, 2012, 07:00:36 pm

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Hello, all. I have lurked this forum for a year or so but I have never posted here. Anyway, this is a sequel to a game that I made a decade ago. It was released on the Shaq Fu Gamefaqs board to the SFA (a trolling organization that used to spam Gamefaqs with shock pictures and threads about how awesome Shaq was). I posted this game at 420chan (a site that I frequent) and it got many laughs. Since it uses Blizz-ABS, I figured that I should also post it here. Also, I am aware that another B-Ball RPG got famous in 2008 (which I loved), but just to show that my game preceded it I'll post a link to my game and an old dead forum I used to post updates at. Linking my game used to be a bannable offense at Gamefaqs so we had to create a forum off-site:

Thread dedicated to Shaq Fu RPG 1 (RM2000): http://www.yourewinner.com/index.php?topic=11848.0

Our old forum: http://z8.invisionfree.com/shaqfu/index.php?s=098c17e6636b3943aabb7ec841b36b0c&showforum=3&prune_day=100&sort_by=Z-A&sort_key=last_post&st=30

Anyway, on to the game.

Title Screen

Background Story

It has been two years since Shaq defeated Kobe and The Black Fist--a diabolical and sadistic organization that fisted all who opposed them. Michael Jackson, having now become the physical avatar of the god Stellar Stone, teleported Shaq back to his own dimension. Together with his disciple Barney the Dinosaur, The Black Fist had all but been wiped out. Without the shackles of anal slavery, the denizens of The Second World are able to pick up the pieces and carry on with their lives.

All seems well and dandy--or *DOES IT?*

Having returned to Earth, Shaq settled back into old vices. The women, fame, and fortune enabled Shaq to become a bit too docile and lazy. Gin and Juice flowed as freely as the easy women and product endorsement deals. Back on the Second World, the remnants of The Black Fist have banded together in secret with the intention of reviving the dead Lord of Lubricant--Goatse. After a dark ritual involving a jar of KY, a few parking cones, and a blood sacrifice, Goatse once again materializes into the realm of the living. Having been strengthened by the revival of Kobe Bryant's right hand man, the Black Fist remnants reform anew as *The Gaped Crusaders.* Three other vile lieutenants--Tubgirl, Lemonparty, and TTRay (a Kefka cosplayer) join Goatse in leading The Gaped Crusaders toward world domination. All hope seems lost as the gaped ones violate every living thing in their path.

Back on Earth, Shaq opens up to his friends Fiddy Cent and Snoop Dogg about his experience on The Second World. Neither of them take him very seriously until a tear in the inter-dimensional rift lands all three of them back on The Second World.

Shaq Returns to The Second World

After three days, Shaq and crew awake from their coma to find out that they are bedded up inside of a castle. By this point, Fiddy Cent is seething. "If this is some sort of sick and twisted joke for doubting you earlier, it is far from humorous. This place is dank and smells horrid!" Fiddy Cent exclaims indignantly. Snoop Dawg is quick with a comeback and quips:

"Fool. Dat be yo azz stinkin'."

The party is soon interrupted when a man clad in full-plate armor enters their sleeping quarters. Shaq recognizes his regalia immediately--the knight is a member of the Shaq Fu Army lead by a wise old man named Dragnor. After being instructed to speak with Dragnor in the throne room, the confused party resigns themselves to seeking him out. After a heated argument between Shaq and Dragnor, Shaq realizes that it wasn't Dragnor who summoned them back to The Second World. Snoop by this point demands to return to Earth and the rest of the party agrees. However, Dragnor's empire has begun to stagnate and slowly collapse. After the fall of The Black Fist, another power has arisen in the far off continent of North Moonwalkia and war looms on the horizon. With the pride of a nation hanging in the balance, Dragnor agrees to send Shaq and crew back to his own dimension under a few undesirable conditions. Shaq, of course, reluctantly agrees.

The rest of the party needs further coercing, of course. Dragnor, being a hard bargainer by nature, promises the party riches and status beyond their wildest dreams. Hell, even whole islands and legions of willing bimbos will be there for the taking! The price? The party must simply agree to investigate a cult that has taken foothold in the slums district and root out a spy from North Moonwalkia.

By this point, the party needs no further convincing. They're down for the cause.



Age: 40
Class: Bad Mutha
Gender: Male

Description: The Big Aristotle. Shaq Daddy. Shaq Diesel. Shaqizzle O'Nizzle. Whatever you call him, you cannot deny that he's a terrifying presence on both the basketball court and in melee combat. Strong, hardy, and a bit quixotic, Shaq never backs down from a challenge and tends to let his fists do the talking for him (unless he's spitting a phat rhyme). But don't let his size 22 shoes fool you. He is an experienced planewalker and has traveled to and from The Second World many times. As the billions of people who played Shaq Fu already know, he decided to enter a portal to The Second World to save a kid he never even met during his first inter-dimensional excursion. His rationale? Maybe there will be plenty of people there to beat up. If this isn't a sound premise to build a game's story upon, I don't know what is.

Fiddy Cent

Age: 37
Class: Brawler
Gender: Male

Description: This dude is mean and he's fierce. After having been shot 9 times, his brush with death left Fiddy Cent with a hardened emotional exterior. However, over the course of his "epic" journey, Fiddy learns to reconnect with emotions he had thought long dead. Stoic and well-spoken, Fiddy is sometimes at odds with Snoop Dogg who he perceives as a try-hard pimp wannabe. Though opinionated, he always tries to do things that seem morally correct, though his empathetic side is sometimes exploited effectively by others. Will he ever find love?


Age: 40
Class: Spellcasta
Gender: Male

Description: Whether it was the copious amount of drugs consumed over his lifespan or some sort of psionic glitch during inter-dimensional travel, Snoop Dogg can cast spells on The Second World. And to quote Gandolf from Lord of the Rings, he's a magician of "no small power." When not smoking blunt after blunt of Compton's finest greenery, Snoop can be observed Shaqing the azzes of his foes with deadly magic. The relationship between himself and Fiddy Cent is tumultuous, to say the least. However, over the course of their journey, the two come to an understanding as Snoop reveals a traumatizing event from his past that made him the man he is today.


Spoiler: ShowHide
Screenshot 1

Spoiler: ShowHide
Screenshot 2

Spoiler: ShowHide
Screenshot 3



The Inquisitor

Download Link

This game is intended for mature audiences. I also *strongly* recommend you play the censored version of the game to avoid the shock images. All the censored version does is remove them. Even so, this game contains some pretty strong language.

EDIT: http://www.mediafire.com/?sahvz7dcd7e71hq

New version of the game that increases gold drops and fixes a potentially game breaking bug. To those who already started, just down the "patch" below and replace your data folder with this one.


Thanks all. I love this site and just wanted to say Blizzard created the best ABS I have ever seen in RMXP. I hope some of guys try this out. I had a blast making it.


Thanks. :)

I like the mapping style you use, it's very similar to mine. Also, I like the fact that you didn't use RTP tilesets (at least not in the screenshots). How much gameplay does the game contain, i.e. how many hours should an average player need to play it through?
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I'd estimate that it'll take around 8 - 9 hours to complete. There are two endings (good karma and bad karma endings), so that could potentially double if someone felt like playing through it again.

Edit: Thought I would post some tips since some people on another site found the game a bit difficult during some points. To prevent grinding when you hit North Moonwalkia, talk to the Githzerai located in Mandora. He'll give you an optional quest. Agree to do it and you'll receive a very powerful Githyanki Silver Sword (this may even make the game a little too easy). Also,
Spoiler: ShowHide
after Giorgio Tsoukalos joins the party
agree to help the ancient aliens within the same village and it'll open up a quest line that will allow you to enter an optional dungeon -- Mephis's Tower. Some of the best loot in the game is located there.

Also, there are two rival guilds/factions you can join. The simplest way through the game is to agree to help the Blood Knaves (you'll lose a bit of karma for helping them at first, but that will quickly change after you learn more about them). Do not perform quests for both the Blood Knaves and the Enlightened Ones. You'll piss them both off and will be unable to join either guild.