Need some time...

[G_G]

I'm going through an emotional breakdown right now. I haven't been myself lately. My behavior and attitude towards things have drastically changed over the past couple of weeks. Depression is the most obvious change. My grades in school are slipping, I'm slacking off most of my responsibilities, and overall haven't been very friendly towards anyone in my life. I've decided to take a small hiatus from the internet and try to straighten my life out. I'm planning on being gone for a week but depending on how things go, it might even be longer. I just need to figure things out on my end. Anyways, I'll see ya guys around.

[ForeverZer0]

Good luck, GG. I hope you can get your problems worked out and we'll see you when you get back.

[zanaram525]

Good luck with things bro. Hope to see you around on here again sometime when life's better.

[Blizzard]

Good luck in getting rid of your baggage!

[SBR*]

I wish you the best of luck !

[Tazero]

Why do all the cool kids have to go D:

[Blizzard]

Maybe I should start stop taking my pants off in every other thread.

[Ryex]

Good luck G_G!

[Fantasist]

I know what you mean G_G. I wish you best of luck

[G_G]

I really appreciate the support guys. Its been about a week now, while I got one problem dealt with, it only led to more problems. Which is fine because I feel a lot better. As far as I can perceive, I'm still not the same person. I don't feel the same nor do I act the same. I'm to the point to where I can't even tell if I'm depressed or not. But I've got 2 days of school this week, Monday and Tuesday, then I get a total of six days off for Thanksgiving. Thats a big chunk to be away from school, which is the major place thats been causing this emotional stress. So here I am, but due to my grades being all D's right now, I probably won't be so active during the break. Perfect time for makeup work.

I love you guys so much, you guys are more supportive than my real friends and family. They just don't blatantly understand whats going on.

[G_G]

So yay more problems. I don't want to go into detail right now. I'm going insane from my life right now. I'm tired of whats going on and wish I could get away from it. But that's not gonna happen. I realize I need to stop moping about it and get off my lazy ass and just face it all, regardless of the amount of trouble it may cause me. Unfortunately this is going to require me to leave for awhile, longer than intended, in fact I thought most of this crap was cleared up, but it seems to keep coming back over and over.

Since I'll be leaving for an extended amount of time, its obvious I won't be able to work on ARC anymore. I'll have to leave the team, I'm actually surprised with all the time and chances you guys gave me to work on it, but I don't have time nor the energy to work on this. I'm depressed and emotionally unstable. I can't commit the work I have right now because my graphics card is going through some troubles. As soon as I get it up and running, just enough to commit the teensy tiny bit of work I did, I'll do it. I'm sorry I couldn't have worked on it more. If I could just cut a chunk of all the crap I'm going through right now I wouldn't be so damn stressed. But its life, I've gotta face it and its going to create complications. Maybe if I'm lucky enough I may be able to aid you guys in the future but right now I just can't.

Anyways, I'll talk to you guys later, I hope you guys can understand, even partially, as to why I am doing this. I appreciate the community. I dunno when I'll be back exactly, but I'll probably be gone for a couple of months. This will give me time to deal with things.

[winkio]

Sorry, I have no meaningful words for this occasion.

[Fantasist]

G_G...
Just tell yourself that all problems are passing clouds, as are everything in life. Even if you can't deal with your problems head on, tell yourself that time will fix things, at least to some degree. I know what you mean when you said:

I'm tired of whats going on and wish I could get away from it. But that's not gonna happen. I realize I need to stop moping about it and get off my lazy ass and just face it all, regardless of the amount of trouble it may cause me.

Believe me, I know exactly what you mean. It can be hard sometimes to be strong. We all have our weak moments, but you have to believe that in time you will have the strength to deal with your problems. Just hang in there, and everything is going to be alright, tomorrow if not today. The day after if not tomorrow, but things WILL get better.

I wish there was something I could do to help more than just give you cliched advices, but I sat the above from the bottom of my heart. If there is anything I can do, just let me know. Through PM if you don't want to speak in public. Anything at all.

Good luck Ronnie. I will see you in better spirits at a later date whenever that might be

[Ryex]

You know what my creed been for the last few years? "Life: Things happen and time moves on". I understand why you need to leave. In fact I support it. Go sort out your life, there will be a comfy spot here when you get back.

As for ARC, commit the work you did as soon as you can. that work was arguably the most important part and if you don't do it soon I'll have to do it myself any way and then what work you did will be irrelevant .

Good luck!

[Blizzard]

I'm glad you have finally set your priorities straight regardless of everything else. I wish you the best of luck to deal with your tough situation, I know how hard things can sometimes be. You know you can always talk to me on MSN if you need advice or just somebody to listen.

Let me know when you have committed that work so I can remove your SVN access.

[MarkHest]

You've got my support man, I hope things won't be too hard for you. I'm not sure if this is of any comfort but Remember: In time everything will go well as long as you don't give up on life.
I just resently left one of my emotionally unstable moments i had in my life and i thought my life through carefully. I feel a lot better now and i know what i want in life.

What i'm trying to say is, believe things will get better. I know it's hard to think positive in difficult moments like this but it will help you more than you think.

I'll light a spark of hope for you, G_G. I'll believe in you.

[SBR*]

I wish you the best of luck, G_G. Life might be difficult, but always remember that there actually are people that care about you. We'll see you whenever you're out of this situation and life's better .

[Kett Shee]

I hope you find you can figure everything out soon, man. You're an awesome friend and I believe you can overcome any hard times. I enjoy the conversations and the occasional venting/odd joking sessions that we have and expect to have more soon. 

[G_G]

Love you guys so much. Motivation is what I need and you guys are giving me just that. I'll be able to get through just fine it seems.

Quick update: This is more or less for the ARC people. My computer is basically ruined. Right now I'm on my crappy old desktop. The graphics card definitely took place in hardware failure but even after switching to my old graphics card, and after a day or so I can't get my computer to boot up at all. It blue screens immediately. So what I'll do is swap out HDDs tomorrow after school and I should be able to commit my work. Sorry for the long delay, I didn't expect major computer issues like this.

[Blizzard]

Commit your code then, even if isn't fully functional or crashes the editor. Ryex will take care of fixing it.
Let me know when you're done so I can remove your SVN access.

[Tazero]

Best of luck, best wishes and such.

If I felt like I could say more I probly would... But this shall do for now.

[G_G]

Thought I'd give a little update. My life is getting better thus my slight return back to the forums. I'm still dealing with most of these issues but they are finally dying down. Being forced to code due to a school grade is slightly stressful but its gotten me to enjoy programming again. I myself am feeling a lot better and I don't feel as depressed anymore. I think its safe to say I've stepped onto a new path in my life and I'm going to start changing huge aspects in my life. Excercising and dieting is a given. I'm going to try and be more social as I tend to be as anti-social as possible. I don't want to be a procrastinator anymore. I've got some huge goals and changes I plan on going after, and hopefully I don't fail or give up. I just want to let you guys know you've been an awesome community. Without your support and motivation I don't think I could have made it this far. Don't expect me to be as active though until after January, our semester finals are coming up. >.<

[Blizzard]

I'm really glad that things are finally starting to look up for you.

[SBR*]

Agreed; I'm truly happy for you and I hope your life will get even better than before .

[G_G]

Dad got pissed again. I was at my grandma's house the entire Christmas break. In the meantime my dad got the house pretty messy. I've only been back here since Monday and school started again on Tuesday. First of all, he expected me to clean the entire house in the short amount of time I had left on Monday, second of all he expected me to do it with no trash bags. He didn't get mad at that point. On Tuesday, he still expected me to clean, I asked him several times to pickup trash bags. He said he would and he never did. Wednesday (yesterday) he didn't bring up the subject, he worked pretty late. This morning, he flips out, because my little brother can't take care of his pet lizard. Who's the first person my dad's to blame? Me. Apparently I'm responsible for something that's not mine. My brother doesn't even get talked to or lectured. He started screaming at me that I never listen to anything he says. I didn't clean the house like he asked me. I haven't been taking caring of my responsibilities like doing the laundry or keeping things organized. He stormed out of the house, slamming things, shouting.

He said I was grounded. I can't do much so I guess I'll see you guys when I see you. I'm really getting tired of my dad. He doesn't listen to anything I say. He refuses to reason anymore. I can already tell I'm going to fall into my depression again. I can't help it. I can't stand living here anymore but I really don't have an option. I won't even be able to move out when I'm 18. Won't have the money. I can't get a job now, my dad won't take me to get my license or my ID. a

Again, I have no idea when my return will be. I'll see you guys around.

[The Niche]

G_G, I'm sorry I've missed all this. I think I understand a very, very small fragment of your pain, especially the apathy and the fear of confrontation. If you want to talk, I'm online most of the time. I wish you the very best of luck and I suggest you start looking at ways to save money, ways to escape. If you think it'd help at all, I'd like to discuss those with you.

Stay strong and good luck.

[G_G]

Thanks Naoise! <3 I've been squeezing in computer time here and there when my dads not home. I should be back in about a week if my dad doesn't try to pull anything.

[The Niche]

No problem Good luck, man.

[jadestar]

I dont remember when I was a minor, but do you need your parents to get a drivers or government ID? I know here in Alberta all they ask for is proof of life and home. So your birth certificate and SIN (or whatever it is in whatever country you might be in) and something like a utility bill that shows your address.

Sounds like there's a big problem in your life and your home and its definately not you. Thats sad and unfortunate and alot of people end up in that situation and they dont make it out.

I don't know REALLY how bad it is, but there is something called emancipation. Also there are support programs out there for people who want to be on their own and need a bit of help. It's like welfare but for people who are trying and just need a little extra push. Being on your own is tough and can be really expensive.

I'm curious, how old are you?

[GAX]

Um, for a license you need to go in for a test and pay a fee, for an ID you have to pay a fee and sit around the local DMV for atleast an hour waiting for others to do the same.

Dunno regarding being a minor tho...you could always try and do it on your own the day you turn 18.