This Girl's been Bothering Me

[G_G]

I have this female friend. Known her about two years now. About 4 months ago her attitude shifted completely and to put it bluntly, she's changed to a total bitch. To explain this a bit, she doesn't like any of my friends that I sit with at lunch. These friends I've known longer than her. I really don't understand her logic here but when she acts bitch towards them, she expects me to defend her and back her up. None of my friends have ever done anything bad to her or gave her a reason to act as she does. That's not all. About every other day she finds a reason to bitch at me and I'll just be sitting there doing absolutely nothing, which leads to me to ask her to stop being "bitchy" and then gets mad, calls me an ass, then leaves me alone for the rest of the day. Then the next day, she acts as if nothing even happened. And apparently whenever I have food, I'm under the obligation to share it with her and gets pissed off at me if I don't. This isn't just a "once-a-month" thing either because it happens way too frequently and it has been for the past 4 months. Like today, she kept talking, I buried my face into a book, but then she started playfully kicking me. I asked her to stop and she wouldn't. 10 minutes later of putting up with her poking at me, she called me an ass and left me alone.

Essentially, I'm at a very stressful part of my school career, and having to deal with her everyday is increasing my level of stress which I don't need. I don't want to be friends with her anymore because of the way she treats me and my friends. I've tried several things and none of which are working. I've tried ignoring her, but she's one of those people who will keep talking if she notices you're not paying attention to her. I've tried intentionally acting like an ass towards her in hopes she'll leave me alone, but again, the next day its like her previous day was completely erased. I've asked her to leave me alone and I've even told her I don't want to bearound her. I've told her why. Yet the next damn day, she's right there being an attention whore around me. I'm basically here asking for advice on how to solve my problem.

[Ryex]

long story short. She likes you, Ask her directly if this is the truth and you will solve, or begin to solve a lot of your problems.

[G_G]

One would think if you'd like a person you wouldn't act like a bitch towards that person or their friends. Then again, women. *sighs*

[Blizzard]

Kids. :X

Ryex is right, she most probably likes you. But the best thing here would be that you get rid of her in your life. Because if you end up together with her, she might keep acting like that to your friends and you don't want that. Be bluntly honest/sincere with her. Tell her something like this:

Look, I don't like how you treat me or my friends. You are being mean for no reason, then you get pissed if somebody defends themselves and the next day you act as if nothing happened. You were such a nice girl and I don't know what happened or how you feel. But until you can't act like a normal human being again or be honest about how you feel, please don't talk to me anymore. Just leave me alone, I don't want to be friends anymore.

Say it calmly. In fact, it is imperative that you stay as calm and as serious as possible when you tell her that. Don't get angry at any of her possible reactions and don't laugh if possible. Just stay emotionless. If she acts the next day like nothing happened, the best thing would be to cut her off right after her first sentence. "I've told you already to leave me alone. Please go away." Again, say it calmly. You could give her a raised eyebrow look before that (communicating something like "WTF are you doing?").
It is very important that you stand by what you tell her. There is no need for big words, you basically just tell her that you won't tolerate her behavior anymore. Also, make sure that you are not acting as if you are trying to make her change the way she acts. Don't expect anything from her, don't expect her to do anything, don't expect any kind of particular reaction. What you are doing here is simply outing your opinion without any expectations.

Also, if you noticed, I underlined some pieces of text. These are basically there to offer her the option to be honest about her feelings towards you (if there are any) and start acting normally. If she says anything or comments on anything you said (especially the feelings part, e.g. "What is xyz supposed to mean?!"), just ignore it and/or tell her "It doesn't matter. If you can't be honest about some things, we have nothing to talk about."

EDIT: Don't get me wrong. This doesn't mean you'll end up with her. This rather means you will effectively get rid of her or she'll start acting normally, both of which are favorable outcomes. And for god's (and your own) sake, STAND BY WHAT YOU SAY.

[Ryex]

Agree completely  ^^ Be blunt, state clearly your position, and try to stay calm with out any emotional intonation. in all likelihood she doesn't realize the cause of her actions either. force her to think about them and things should change.

Also, When the fuck did I gain this ability to read social situations, I was an outcast in even the outcast groups in school. by all rights I should have no social ability at all.

[Subsonic_Noise]

I don't always agree with relationship advice from Blizzard, but when I do, it's this one.

[Blizzard]

Also, When the fuck did I gain this ability to read social situations, I was an outcast in even the outcast groups in school. by all rights I should have no social ability at all.

Comes with the years. xD
So, when are the two of us hitting the clubs?

[Subsonic_Noise]

Comes with the years. xD

This is true. I've aquired a good part of it over the last year.. and I admit it's pretty fun sometimes just to sit back and watch those situations... to me, if you understand them, they have some kind of weird comedy to them. xD

[Blizzard]

and I admit it's pretty fun sometimes just to sit back and watch those situations...

Totally. That's why I love them. They are so silly sometimes. <3

[Ryex]

Comes with the years. xD
So, when are the two of us hitting the clubs?

any time man, just hit me up. we can spend the night casting nets of whit and char into the local populous and fish out some decent conversation partners. it will be quite the night

and I admit it's pretty fun sometimes just to sit back and watch those situations...

Totally. That's why I love them. They are so silly sometimes. <3

I see them unfolding and half the time I want to smash my face in to my desk because people are responding without thinking. then I get an urge to force events to a peaceful solution, I don't usual act unless I have a personal interest though, way too much trouble and it is almost never worth it. best to ride the waves that result and fix things after the fact most of the time.

[Blizzard]

best to ride the waves that result and fix things after the fact most of the time.

Yup. No points in trying to fight the stream.

[MarkHest]

[Chaze007]

You could be a complete dickhole, tell her she's a dumb slutty bitch and you're sick of her shit, tell her to leave you the fuck alone or you'll ruin her life, then kiss her, hug her, say sorry that you miss her, be nice for 5 minutes, offer to get her a drink, then call her a mean bitch and leave, watch the confusion unravel and have fun ;D

[Vell]

Agree completely  ^^ Be blunt, state clearly your position, and try to stay calm with out any emotional intonation. in all likelihood she doesn't realize the cause of her actions either. force her to think about them and things should change.

Also, When the fuck did I gain this ability to read social situations, I was an outcast in even the outcast groups in school. by all rights I should have no social ability at all.

You spent those  years observing people getting into these situations. These observations lay there without your conscious thinking and you analysed them without knowing it, finding the patterns.

That's part of how I've got what social ability I've got. Also it's easier to see what's going on in a situation if you're not caught up in it.

[Blizzard]

I agree with that last part. When I'm talking with somebody I do a lot of subconscious stuff that I barely notice, even if I try to keep track of myself. But when I watch somebody else talking, I can track what's going on without problems.

[G_G]

I told her today. She seemed to have taken it pretty well, which actually scares me slightly. I actually found out she had a boyfriend today so I really don't think she has feelings for me, but who knows. She left me alone for the remainder of the class. She did sit with us at lunch. She didn't act like a total bitch for once. So it seems she took the message to heart at least. Today was definitely successful, I'm hoping it'll stay through her head. I guess we'll find out next monday.

[Subsonic_Noise]

Sometimes girls who have boyfriends like other guys. Actually, that happened to me three times before. >.>I don't really like it, but it's a possibility you have to concider there.

[Blizzard]

What he said. In fact 90% of the people in relationship are actually making quite a compromise. Basically most people would rather be with someone "ok" than alone. So don't be surprised if a girl is attracted to you regardless of her relationship status. You can look at it the other way around as well. If you had an ok girlfriend and suddenly you meet a gorgeous, intelligent, funny, goodhearted girl, wouldn't you feel attracted to her? Of course you would, it's perfectly normal.

Anyway, back on topic. Just keep it up. Now it's up to you stay strong in your position. BTW, there's nothing wrong with telling her something like "I'm really glad that you took to heart what I said last week." in a week or so.

Lol, all of this on International Women's Day.

[Eli]

Is your group of friends mostly female? Could be jelly, just sayin

[Vell]

Dang, you definitely are an interesting one, ain't ya xD