Author Topic: Life got real.  (Read 3032 times)

Offline Fantasist

  • Lexima Warrior
  • *******
  • Posts: 2223
  • LV: 146
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Blog
Life got real.
« on: May 12, 2012, 12:30:11 AM »
Howdy! Good morning, good afternoon, good evening!

So here I am again, letting you gals and guys know that I'm still alive :D "But wait", you ask. "Where have you been?" Well, long story short, I got a job. And being the introverted recluse I've been the last couple of years, being thrown into an environment where I am forced to interact with people on a daily basis is taking it's toll on me. Good news is, I'm discovering new things about me that I never even considered possible. For instance, it turns I am actually talkative. I'm faring MUCH better in a team (and the general public) than I ever thought I could.

The time before I got a job was one of the toughest times of my life. I was overwhelmed with self-doubt, a sense of worthlessness. The grim clouds of depression were always upon me. But it gave me a chance to introspect. I've realized that I was taking everything way too seriously. I stressed out a lot because I held on to trivial things. I resisted change, and thus a chance to make myself better, to grow as a person. I've even felt it, like I was somehow... "stuck". But when push came to shove, I managed to do just fine. I always avoided challenges, but I out-performed myself when I was forced into one. I experienced first hand how stress can be a good thing should we decide to work with it rather than against it. Life, in all it's glory, has forced me out of a bottleneck, and now I'm finally on the other side... 2012, I believe, doesn't signify the end of the world. It signifies the end of an era. And beyond lie the waves of great change. Even with all the shit that I'm having to deal with, life never looked so promising to me. And you guys are a part of inspiring that feeling.

Since I started to work, I realized that my time on Chaos Project has been very fruitful. I've learned a lot from you guys (a shoutout to you Blizzard, for being my inspiration! :) ), and I am not just talking about coding. I may have been inactive for a long time, and it'll probably be like this for a while, but I'll always be here in spirit. For me, Chaos Project isn't just an online forum. For me, it's an important part of my life and a part of who I am. So yeah. You guys are awesome!  :buddy:

BTW, Tino's (Subsonic_Noise) music has gotten me through some stressed out times. Pretty neat stuff, bro. I love your style :) Let's hope we hear more of KSCIAA in the future :D


PS: GOD, how I miss the smileys here!
:rockit: :dance: :w00t: :beer: :wong:
Do you like ambient/electronic music? Then you should promote a talented artist! Help out here. (I'm serious. Just listen to his work at least!)

The best of freeware reviews: Gizmo's Freeware Reviews



Offline Blizzard

  • This sexy
  • Administrator
  • has over 9000 posts
  • *****
  • Posts: 20016
  • LV: 651
  • Gender: Male
  • Magic midgets.
    • View Profile
    • You're already on it. (-_-')
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2012, 06:27:01 AM »
Welcome back! I hope you'll stay a bit longer this time. ^_^

I know how you feel. I went through some similar stuff in my youth. Self-confidence and and self-esteem were basically at a low point. Somehow I managed to fix things over the years and now I'm here where I am. I'm glad that you sorted some things out. Always remember: No matter how bad you feel, there's always someone who has the same problem and is additionally missing a limb or something so you should be happy that you got off easy. Doubting oneself and overcoming those doubts and fears is what makes us strong. If you continue this path, you will develop an interesting habit that I have noticed with me recently as well: You will simply go against your fears and doubts every time, even if you doubt yourself. It will simply become a habit to do it and it will affect all areas of your life positively. Just go for it! :D
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze      King of Booze: Never Ever      Pet Bots
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android      Pet Bots for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS      Pet Bots for iOS
Drinking Game on Steam


Quote from: winkio
I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney Stinson
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Offline winkio

  • Epiq
  • Administrator
  • Guardian of Chaos
  • *****
  • Posts: 4505
  • LV: 199
  • Gender: Male
  • I am lying.
    • View Profile
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2012, 06:39:08 AM »
I stressed out a lot because I held on to trivial things. I resisted change, and thus a chance to make myself better, to grow as a person. I've even felt it, like I was somehow... "stuck".

Lots of people, especially passionate young people, experience this mindset.  I'm glad that you overcame it, I think it might be one of the most important things to do in order to have a better life.

Congratulations on getting a job, hopefully you can stop by from time to time :)

Offline SBR*

  • Chaos User
  • ******
  • Posts: 1195
  • LV: -7
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2012, 12:56:48 PM »
I've never really had any experience with this kind of situation, so all I can say is that I'm glad to hear from you again. You may not know me, though; I think I joined sometime around when you left, although I could be wrong.

Subsonic_Noise

  • Guest
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2012, 03:06:18 PM »
Hey :) We already send a few PMs before this and I said alot there already, but welcome back :) Glad to see you around again.
I had a moment like that a while back too. It's really a turning point in your life usually... good luck with your job and everything.
And again, I'm really happy my music helped you with that. It's partially what it's made for, though not many people get that. :)

Offline Fantasist

  • Lexima Warrior
  • *******
  • Posts: 2223
  • LV: 146
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Blog
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2012, 03:43:23 PM »
Thanks everyone!

@Blizz: I know what you mean. There's always someone who has it worse. I met a few people and I realized what a whiner I was. Helped me "grow up", as they say.

@winkio: Thank you :) Well, I plan to stop by here about once a week to check on how ARC is coming along. How IS it coming along? I think I read Blizz's post on how the underlying libraries have gotten much better.

@SBR: You were here long before I left, actually. I remember you alright!

@SSN: You have great talent, like many others maybe, but something about your music just resonates with me :)
Do you like ambient/electronic music? Then you should promote a talented artist! Help out here. (I'm serious. Just listen to his work at least!)

The best of freeware reviews: Gizmo's Freeware Reviews



Offline Tazero

  • Blows jobs for custom titles
  • Chaos User
  • ******
  • Posts: 1180
  • LV: -45
  • Gender: Male
  • Asleep but flying high
    • View Profile
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2012, 03:58:47 PM »
You've been an asset to our community and I only wish the best for your life.
Go get em' bro!


If you were a fish...

Offline Blizzard

  • This sexy
  • Administrator
  • has over 9000 posts
  • *****
  • Posts: 20016
  • LV: 651
  • Gender: Male
  • Magic midgets.
    • View Profile
    • You're already on it. (-_-')
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #7 on: May 12, 2012, 04:00:54 PM »
Actually I'm working on ARC right now to finish the engine beta. There are only a few things left on the TODO list among which the most difficult are MIDI and accessing system fonts.
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze      King of Booze: Never Ever      Pet Bots
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android      Pet Bots for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS      Pet Bots for iOS
Drinking Game on Steam


Quote from: winkio
I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney Stinson
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Offline Fantasist

  • Lexima Warrior
  • *******
  • Posts: 2223
  • LV: 146
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Blog
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #8 on: May 14, 2012, 10:43:36 PM »
@Tazero: Thanks man :)

@Blizz: It's nearing completion then! :D And MIDI is staying? I thought you decided against it. Also, is accessing system fonts that hard? I never would've thought. :o
Do you like ambient/electronic music? Then you should promote a talented artist! Help out here. (I'm serious. Just listen to his work at least!)

The best of freeware reviews: Gizmo's Freeware Reviews



Offline Blizzard

  • This sexy
  • Administrator
  • has over 9000 posts
  • *****
  • Posts: 20016
  • LV: 651
  • Gender: Male
  • Magic midgets.
    • View Profile
    • You're already on it. (-_-')
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #9 on: May 14, 2012, 11:02:09 PM »
The editor is still not done, only the Legacy Edition beta is almost done. I was going to release it today, but while playing through CoSLAL, I found 3 more bugs that I'd like to fix as one is a critical graphical glitch and another is a serious memory leak.

Accessing fonts is not as hard as it's just a mess. Windows does have a few API calls where you can get the list of installed fonts, but you can't get the filenames or directly a fontfile data stream. You either have to access the registry which is obviously not platform independent and all font names have a stupid suffix like (Truetype), or you have to iterate through all font files, open them, check if the name matches and then use that file. Atres has a sublibrary called Atres TTF where all of this is handled. Atres TTF uses freetype for font management so I was able to simply open the font files with freetype and then check the name. This saved me the hassle to implement a reader for the TTF and other font formats.

MIDI is out. I've written something down about it in another topic. It's just way too messed up to make it work and that wouldn't even be platform independent. I hate to give up, but this is better left out.
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze      King of Booze: Never Ever      Pet Bots
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android      Pet Bots for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS      Pet Bots for iOS
Drinking Game on Steam


Quote from: winkio
I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney Stinson
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Offline Fantasist

  • Lexima Warrior
  • *******
  • Posts: 2223
  • LV: 146
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Blog
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #10 on: May 14, 2012, 11:20:42 PM »
So Atres TTF did the trick?
Do you like ambient/electronic music? Then you should promote a talented artist! Help out here. (I'm serious. Just listen to his work at least!)

The best of freeware reviews: Gizmo's Freeware Reviews



Offline Blizzard

  • This sexy
  • Administrator
  • has over 9000 posts
  • *****
  • Posts: 20016
  • LV: 651
  • Gender: Male
  • Magic midgets.
    • View Profile
    • You're already on it. (-_-')
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #11 on: May 14, 2012, 11:42:47 PM »
No, I obviously still had to implement it all. I just didn't have to implement a TTF/OTF/FNT/whatever reader.
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze      King of Booze: Never Ever      Pet Bots
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android      Pet Bots for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS      Pet Bots for iOS
Drinking Game on Steam


Quote from: winkio
I do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney Stinson
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Offline MarkHest

  • Video Game Music Composer
  • Astral Trancist
  • *****
  • Posts: 701
  • LV: 16
  • Gender: Male
  • Smile, Laugh, Live
    • View Profile
    • My Youtube Site
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #12 on: May 15, 2012, 02:24:07 AM »
glad to see that you're back and doing well, Fantasist! :D
   

Offline Fantasist

  • Lexima Warrior
  • *******
  • Posts: 2223
  • LV: 146
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Blog
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #13 on: May 24, 2012, 10:54:20 PM »
@Blizz: Ah, nice :)

@MarkHest: Thanks man :)
Do you like ambient/electronic music? Then you should promote a talented artist! Help out here. (I'm serious. Just listen to his work at least!)

The best of freeware reviews: Gizmo's Freeware Reviews



Offline Ryex

  • Arctic Bird of Programming
  • Global Moderator
  • Chaos Ultimate
  • ****
  • Posts: 5135
  • LV: 198
  • Gender: Female
  • Wants to write a compiler for fun
    • View Profile
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #14 on: May 25, 2012, 12:34:25 AM »
Ga! Why did I not reply to this topic sooner! Glad you back with us Fant.
I no longer keep up with posts in the forum very well. If you have a question or comment, about my work, or in general I welcome PM's. if you make a post in one of my threads and I don't reply with in a day or two feel free to PM me and point it out to me.

DropBox, the best free file syncing service there is.
(click to show/hide)

Offline Juan

  • Ethereal Devastator
  • ****
  • Posts: 409
  • LV: 48
  • Gender: Male
  • Evil Twin
    • View Profile
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #15 on: May 25, 2012, 12:57:08 AM »
Ah Welcome back dude. I'm just getting back myself.  :)
Dropbox Who need luck when you can make your own.
(click to show/hide)

Offline Fantasist

  • Lexima Warrior
  • *******
  • Posts: 2223
  • LV: 146
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Blog
Re: Life got real.
« Reply #16 on: June 03, 2012, 03:13:56 PM »
Thanks guys :)
Do you like ambient/electronic music? Then you should promote a talented artist! Help out here. (I'm serious. Just listen to his work at least!)

The best of freeware reviews: Gizmo's Freeware Reviews