Past of Venus - A Planet's Story In Production Pgain!

Started by Spaceman McConaughey, April 11, 2009, 11:36:57 pm

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Spaceman McConaughey

April 11, 2009, 11:36:57 pm Last Edit: December 16, 2009, 10:25:53 pm by Branden
-removed-


Starrodkirby86

/nazi post ahead

Spoiler: ShowHide
QuoteVenus is undergoing a dooms day

Doomsday is one word, my friend. It's a compound word.

QuoteThis man's plan to take out the planet's inhabitants is simple

I believe it should be, "was" simple. It sounds better to me at least.

Quotewhat they did not know at the time

Capitalization error.

Quotefor the people of Venus, because their minds

Because is not a word used to link two phrases together (It's not a conjunction). You should remove the comma.

Quoteeven if they kill this man,

Capitalization error.

QuoteWith a smart person like you. The Venusians

Sentence fragment. Replace the period with a comma and de-capitalize the word "The".

QuoteFull-Screen Screenshot

This doesn't make a good screenshot. The only point it shows is that the game has a full-screen feature. It doesn't show anything particularly impressive besides the text and other elements the game is going to have. Keep the screenshot if you want; I'm just telling you it doesn't make a good screenshot.

QuoteWeekly Stroll Screenshot
'before my Dad gets too worried, let's hope it cheers me up'

No need for a comma. Make it a new sentence or replace the comma with ... .


Why am I doing this? I'm really bored first of all and I'm just revising your game to make it better. This is all for the game. It looks REALLY good already, so might as well make these final polishes. :3

This is so deserving Post 2000.

What's osu!? It's a rhythm game. Thought I should have a signature with a working rank. ;P It's now clickable!
Still Aqua's biggest fan (Or am I?).




Fantasist

Promising. I'll be looking forward to it :)
Do you like ambient/electronic music? Then you should promote a talented artist! Help out here. (I'm serious. Just listen to his work at least!)


The best of freeware reviews: Gizmo's Freeware Reviews




Blizzard

Credit me with just Blizzard, please. ._.;
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
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Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

King Munkey

Yea it looks pretty good so far hope you can get a demo or a video up.

G_G Is my hero!
Munkey != monkey
Munkey > monkey

fugibo

Oh, I forgot to comment on this  :^_^':

Despite what I consider poor naming (no offense, I'm just very, very, very critical of stuff), this seems to be one of by far  the most original, creative, and interesting stories I've ever seen. I very much wish you the best of luck with this project.

King Munkey

I agree with WcW(Ann Boleyn) in that the name is not great but the story idea does seem very original.

G_G Is my hero!
Munkey != monkey
Munkey > monkey

Reno-s--Joker

o.O Was Venus a gas planet?
Although to be honest I can't think of anything better. "Venus' Past" flows nicely, however. :)

fugibo

Err... Venus is the 2nd planet from the Sun.

Gas planets start at 5th.

:(

fugibo

Yeah, I forgive you. You get to keep your soul this time, no worries ;)

Now, you have to be sure to tie in some awesome Roman-mythology references, 'kay? Don't disappoint us.

Starrodkirby86

Depressing that you're using Shareware like this. It kind of ruins the mood.

Let's go for criticism of the game through this awesome teaser!

It's such a shame you're using the Zelda's Lullaby music as the title screen. It works fine, and is very soothing for it. But the problem is the general public knows what the song will be, and it can turn into an instant turn-off. It suffices, but you can try and find another soothing tune that the public doesn't know as much. That's what I think at least. The same goes for the Zelda jingle (Used for your logo)

For something of that high of a size to download, there was such little content. At least there was high quality...

Still, I was disappointed, but pretty impressed with the quality of your game. I bet it would turn to be a nice RPG. Again, disappointed at the video itself. Heh. Thought it had more flare. But that is all right.

What's osu!? It's a rhythm game. Thought I should have a signature with a working rank. ;P It's now clickable!
Still Aqua's biggest fan (Or am I?).




fugibo

Uh... YouTube just doesn't support .avi, I think. Try converting :P

Starrodkirby86

Quote from: Ann Boleyn on April 14, 2009, 07:16:49 am
Uh... YouTube just doesn't support .avi, I think. Try converting :P
YouTube supports .avi . I had a video uploaded to YouTube that was .avi, but it experienced major audio lag. It was probably because of the high quality.


Convert anyway for the sake of a smaller size. I suggest .wmv for some people. .avi can work for other OSes that don't have Windows, Windows Media Player, or anything that can open .wmv, haha.

What's osu!? It's a rhythm game. Thought I should have a signature with a working rank. ;P It's now clickable!
Still Aqua's biggest fan (Or am I?).




fugibo

There are plenty of solutions for that (Perian for QT, idk for Linux but I know for a fact its there). Just try to avoid 40-mb demo videos -- it gives a bad impression.

Ryex

lol i saw at lest two mapping errors in the video! and the dialog could use some spicing it was a bit bland and, well the way the "King" talked was a little bit "un-kingly." but other than that its has was looks to be a great story oh and look carefully through the king's dialog i think there was some miss spellings
I no longer keep up with posts in the forum very well. If you have a question or comment, about my work, or in general I welcome PM's. if you make a post in one of my threads and I don't reply with in a day or two feel free to PM me and point it out to me.<br /><br />DropBox, the best free file syncing service there is.<br />

Spaceman McConaughey

April 19, 2009, 02:34:06 pm #16 Last Edit: April 19, 2009, 02:45:43 pm by Branden
Ryex... it would really help if you show me what time in the video the mapping errors where at. o.o I would love to fix them. :P

EDIT: Okay, thankyou for pointing out the grammar errors in the King's Diolaugue. I found two grammar errors after running all of it through MS Word.

And, how does the King sound "un-kingly"? The planet and all of the Laёmuhs and everything else on it might go extinct. All he sounds like is a King that's depressed about delivering this awful news to his people. :P