Chaos Project

Post some of the hilarious or cheesy pickup lines you've got.

Your daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!
Hey I lost my phone #, can I have yours?
Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.
Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.

Share yours xD

EDIT:
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

Quote from: game_guy on May 19, 2010, 09:34:45 pm
Share yours xD

Was that one of your pick-up lines?

Maybe....

There's a trial in my pants and you've been summoned.
Is that a banana in your pants or are you happy to see me? *My reply* "I'm happy that there's a banana in my pants"
Oooooh, barracuda
Hi, let's have sex.
Let's take a ride on my express train

AND THEN I SAW HER FACE *jingles* AND NOW I'M A BELIEVER!

I need to check you out, like a library book, that's overdue.

I'm gonna take a beautiful picture of you in a park.

your beauty is like a delicate pelican swooping into a greeny river?

your eyes are like the cube on transformers that turns all the transformers to life cuz when I look in your eyes it makes me feel alive.

If I were a stampeding wildabeast running though the savanna you would be my watering hole.

Are you Xena the warrior princess, cuz you just kicked the FUCK outta my heart.

AND NOT A TRACE~ OF DOUBT IN MY MIND!

Quote from: Chaze007 on May 19, 2010, 09:54:56 pm

your eyes are like the cube on transformers that turns all the transformers to life cuz when I look in your eyes it makes me feel alive.

:rofl:

I don't know why, but that is really, really funny. If someone said that to me I'd definitely go out with them.

WhiteRose....

Quote from: Chaze007 on May 19, 2010, 09:54:56 pm

your eyes are like the cube on transformers that turns all the transformers to life cuz when I look in your eyes it makes me feel alive.

Go out with me? :V:

Prolly 'cause it sounds so awkward and somehow still enticing.

Quote from: Fallen Angel X on May 19, 2010, 10:23:52 pm
WhiteRose....

Quote from: Chaze007 on May 19, 2010, 09:54:56 pm

your eyes are like the cube on transformers that turns all the transformers to life cuz when I look in your eyes it makes me feel alive.

Go out with me? :V:

Yes. Consider us official. :V:

but but fax...we..were meant to be!

D: oh no, drama! Love Triangles! The fangirls are going to go CRAZY!

):

UltaFlame, will you stand with me in the end, hand in hand, to fight those motherfucking lifesucking zombies that killed our loved ones, will you be there to blow their fucking brains out of their skulls with me?

KILL THE ZOMBIES! KILL THE ZOMBIES! KILL THE ZOMBIES! KILL THE ZOMBIES BY SHOOTING THEM IN THE HEAD, THEY CAN'T EAT YOU IF YOU MAKE THEM DEAD, SHOOT THE ZOMBIES, SHOOT THE ZOMBIES.

Aw crap. I thought Chaze was a zombie. I blew his head off with my shotgun by accident.

Oh crap.

Hey pretty dead woman, want a taste of my gun? :naughty:

*Tackles FaX and removes his clothes, Then proceeds with performing [OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING]*

Hi, I am making a survey about bad pickup lines. Which one do you think is the cheesiest:
a) Hey I lost my phone #, can I have yours?
b) I need to check you out, like a library book, that's overdue.
c) Hi, I am making a survey about bad pickup lines.

The usual response is just laughter after I finish with c) and then I get asked for my name or get a compliment. xD

I got nothing for now, but Bliz takes the cake, seconded by Chaze's Transformer line.

Hi, I'm a pilot.

I've never had to use anything else.


yeahhh...  8)

*pulls up pants above waist high and inhales puffer* Hi ladies. *snort* I got a lab specimen that can use your expertise. *snort*

Hey, just a question. What do you think? Does my friend over there have style or not?

And BAM, she's in a conversation with me. :P

EDIT: So just you know, I made this one up just now.

Hey you're cool let's marry.

Yes, I actually do this.

Hey, just a question. Me and my friend have been discussing something for at least 20 minutes and we need a female opinion.

God, I sometimes forget how easy it is when you don't use generic "I AM AWESOME, YOU WANT SEX WITH ME" and "I WANT SEX WITH YOU" pickup lines.

OH LOOK A PENNY! *bends over* OHICWhatUDidTher.

what about the old pickup lines :???:
did it hurt when you fell from heaven  :O.o:

There are three types of pickup lines.

1. The ones that include sex. They make you look arrogant and almost never work.
2. The cute ones that are cheesy and that everybody knows. They make you look unoriginal and uncreative.
3. The ones that are none. They work almost always as they are neutral and non-threatening.

Generally, a pickup LINE is a bad idea. xD Like a magic sentence to get people to have sex with you. It's just idiotic that people actually believe that they work. >.<

Wait. People believe that they work!? O_o

"Hey go on a date with me or I'll stab you painfully with this rusty old knife!"

Just works everytime.

Yes, there are people who think that one-liners actually work. (-_-')

I dont believe they work, I like to see peoples reactions at times though xD

I didn't mean to imply that you believe. ^_^

Be careful, Blizzard wrote a diploma thesis on pickup lines.

PSSSSSSHHHHHT! That's supposed to be a secret! D:

Since when was blizz an expert? I believe I wrote an entire manual about pickup lines... for ducks.

Blizz doesn't need pickup lines, girls want to pick him up as soon as he mentions that he can script in RGSS.
Because that's how it works.

:V:

Who needs girls when you have a computer in the first place? :V:

Who needs a real life when there is the internet?

Quote from: Subsonic_Noise on May 21, 2010, 03:24:12 pm
Who needs a real life when there is the internet?

That's spoken like a real astronaut!

Why speak when you got a keyboard? :V:

Sex. The answer this time is actually sex.

Makes the world go round.

and continues the human race...

cause we fuck like bunnies....

bunnies learnt that particular act from us humans.  :P

Yes. And us humans then again learned it from the potatoes.

*touches the other's knee* I was just itching... on your knee...
(Google transelation, could be wrong wording... Don't really know what 'jeuk hebben aan' means in English. BTW, it's Dutch)

You suck.

Quote from: SBR* on May 22, 2010, 01:27:55 pm
*touches the other's knee* I was just itching... on your knee...
(Google transelation, could be wrong wording... Don't really know what 'jeuk hebben aan' means in English. BTW, it's Dutch)

Een nederlander hier!!  8-O
Maar hij heeft gelijk... you suck

Quote from: wolfspirit on May 23, 2010, 04:18:32 am

Quote from: SBR* on May 22, 2010, 01:27:55 pm
*touches the other's knee* I was just itching... on your knee...
(Google transelation, could be wrong wording... Don't really know what 'jeuk hebben aan' means in English. BTW, it's Dutch)

Een nederlander hier!!  8-O
Maar hij heeft gelijk... you suck

Lol, was that serious  :'(?

Lol, no, guys. "You suck" is the pickup line. xD

Quote from: Example of usage
Me: You suck.
Her: Wait, what?! Why?
Me: I've been trying to approach you for 20 minutes by now, but with all those men hitting on you, it's impossible. Who are you anyway?!
Her: Well, I'm blablabla...

You get the idea.

I didn't make up that line, though. :/

Quote from: Blizzard on May 23, 2010, 05:16:20 am
Lol, no, guys. "You suck" is the pickup line. xD

Quote from: Example of usage
Me: You suck.
Her: Wait, what?! Why?
Me: I've been trying to approach you for 20 minutes by now, but with all those men hitting on you, it's impossible. Who are you anyway?!
Her: Well, I'm blablabla...

You get the idea.

I didn't make up that line, though. :/

Oh, then it's ok  :^_^':. But wolfspirit?

Quote from: SBR* on May 23, 2010, 05:26:38 am

Quote from: Blizzard on May 23, 2010, 05:16:20 am
Lol, no, guys. "You suck" is the pickup line. xD

Quote from: Example of usage
Me: You suck.
Her: Wait, what?! Why?
Me: I've been trying to approach you for 20 minutes by now, but with all those men hitting on you, it's impossible. Who are you anyway?!
Her: Well, I'm blablabla...

You get the idea.

I didn't make up that line, though. :/

Oh, then it's ok  :^_^':. But wolfspirit?

I just like to say random stuff.
And raping aliens, but that's irrelevant.

Quote from: wolfspirit on May 23, 2010, 05:35:17 am

Quote from: SBR* on May 23, 2010, 05:26:38 am

Quote from: Blizzard on May 23, 2010, 05:16:20 am
Lol, no, guys. "You suck" is the pickup line. xD

Quote from: Example of usage
Me: You suck.
Her: Wait, what?! Why?
Me: I've been trying to approach you for 20 minutes by now, but with all those men hitting on you, it's impossible. Who are you anyway?!
Her: Well, I'm blablabla...

You get the idea.

I didn't make up that line, though. :/

Oh, then it's ok  :^_^':. But wolfspirit?

I just like to say random stuff.
And raping aliens, but that's irrelevant.

No, because mice like cheese.

Here's a classic:

Oh my god! Have you just seen the fight outside?

EDIT: Better:

Oh my god! Have you just seen the two girls fighting outside?

Quote from: Blizzard on May 23, 2010, 07:07:41 am

Oh my god! Have you just seen the two girls fighting outside?

^hot shit.

^Even hotter shit

Quote from: Chaze007 on May 19, 2010, 09:54:56 pm
I need to check you out, like a library book, that's overdue.

I'm gonna take a beautiful picture of you in a park.

your beauty is like a delicate pelican swooping into a greeny river?

your eyes are like the cube on transformers that turns all the transformers to life cuz when I look in your eyes it makes me feel alive.

If I were a stampeding wildabeast running though the savanna you would be my watering hole.

Are you Xena the warrior princess, cuz you just kicked the FUCK outta my heart.

Valentine's Day: ShowHide

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zndflNmoCus

I started reading this thread and I recognised that from Destery immediately :V

Quote from: Blizzard on May 21, 2010, 02:50:24 am
There are three types of pickup lines.

1. The ones that include sex. They make you look arrogant and almost never work.
2. The cute ones that are cheesy and that everybody knows. They make you look unoriginal and uncreative.
3. The ones that are none. They work almost always as they are neutral and non-threatening.

Generally, a pickup LINE is a bad idea. xD Like a magic sentence to get people to have sex with you. It's just idiotic that people actually believe that they work. >.<

I have one I've used pretty well.
It's a type 3.

"Hey does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

I have one line that is awesome to use, but if you can't control your body language or your behavior (as in: you get nervous and people can see it), then you shouldn't use it. I found out that it works well when you are walking by somebody since it creates a realistic situation. You'll know what I mean when you read it.

QuoteHi. I saw you from over there and I thought I should talk to you since I think you're stunning. Too bad I don't have time right now, but we should get a cup of coffee sometimes. Type in your number. *hands over cellphone*

Alternative version when she's speaking to other guys.

QuoteHi. I saw you from over there and I thought I should talk to you since I think you're stunning. Too bad I don't have time right now to chitchat like your friends here, but we should get a cup of coffee sometimes. Type in your number. *hands over cellphone*

Use at your own risk. If you deliver this line right, she can't refuse.
Now, I won't tell you what to do when she says that she has a boyfriend, because this is a pickup line thread, not a pickup procedure thread. :V

The guy she's talking to is her boyfriend.  But since it's Blizz, she immediately breaks up with him, types in her number, and blows Blizz a kiss.  He's just that good.

Almost. xD

"You have a boyfriend? That's great! He can make us breakfast in the morning." xD

Lolz, he won't mind if we borrow the Corvette right? xD

Situational:

Women opens a fridge to get milk/whatever in a grocery store. Air condensates on the glass door. I put on a tic-tac-toe grid and make the first move.

"Your turn."

to be successful, one must first make sure there is no booze within physical sight.

Hey, I'm a tech guy. If you need repairs, call me up. Heck call me up whenever you want because you look like a smoking hot motherboard.

i bit my lip will you kiss it better
(With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
All those curves, and me with no brakes.
Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
You make my software turn to hardware!


and so much more

I'm going to plug my USB Drive into you and upload my data~!

Me: Hi, who the hell are you and why are you staring at me? (After she's caught me staring at her)
Her: No, you were staring at me.
Me: I know. I was thinking about whether I should tell you you're drinking too much (or something)

Please put your tongue away. (When they give you a :P)

Jeez, keep your top on, I don't even know your name! (If she takes off her jacket or suchlike)

Quote from: UltaFlame on June 03, 2010, 11:47:34 pm
to be successful, one must first make sure there is no booze within physical sight.

Are you kidding me? Booze equals poison if you are trying to pick up women. Stay the heck away from it. xD

Or just hold a half full glass and don't drink it. But that requires a mind constructed of pure awesome...

I bet for one dollar my dick doesn't fit in your mouth!

If it does, you owe her a dollar. Which is really not a position you want to be in.

This one is funny.

QuoteFuck me if I'm wrong, but I bet you wanna fuck me.

Don't expect it to work, though. She DOES have a third option; to simply blow you off / turn away.

I just came up with an interesting one.

QuoteHello. When I saw you from over there I just had to come over and tell you that you look like my ex-girlfriend. Although, she had a cuter nose.

I think this could be dynamite if delivered right. You have so many things to continue the conversation on that it's ridiculious. xD
And don't say "my future ex" because it will just make you look stupid. I need to try this one out, lol!

EDIT: You can also try the variation "cuter ears". Just make sure you say it sincerly, as if you really mean it and as if you are not trying to make her feel like shit. Nobody wants to talk to a jackass that insults people.

Blizz, you're truly the king of pickup lines. AND NO, THIS ISN'T A PICKUP LINE! :urgh:

"Hey, I wanted to talk to you when I saw you because you looked cute from over there."

Lol, indirectly telling that she isn't cute. xD It can be a great conversation starter. xD Usually they are like "Does that mean I don't look cute now? D:" without actually saying it out loud.

Quote from: SBR* on July 05, 2010, 03:00:27 am
Blizz, you're truly the king of pickup lines. AND NO, THIS ISN'T A PICKUP LINE! :urgh:

Did you try out the ex-girlfriend one? It'd almost definitely work, haven't had a chance to test it.

Hi, what's your name? Actually, don't tell me, I don't think you're going to last that long.

Basis behind these kinda ones is that you're challenging her as opposed to the usual approach of showering her with compliments. Which just makes you come across as weak.

Yeah let's just start insulting girls cause they really love that :D

Niche, I know what you are. Your kind of people call people like me "naturals". Just be careful not to overdo it, ok?
I primarily love to mess around with people, that's my main objective all the time. I've seen way too many of you guys losing yourself in it and losing sight of what's important. It's like it becomes a drug to them and they can't get enough if you know what I mean. :/

Anyway, back on topic. I have this nice one where I start a conversation out of nowhere when I notice that she's carrying around a book by asking "Is it any good?" I usually continue telling that my sister loves books and that I'm always looking for good books. I'm not much of a fan of books myself, but I love good stories.

@Sub: Eh, nobody said anything about insulting them. It's all about not complimenting them and treating them as if they weren't special until they prove otherwise. I often do something I personally like to call the ping-pong effect. Depending on how people act towards me, I act towards them. If, for example, a girl interrupts me while I talk with a stupid question to challenge me, I usually just ask her "Didn't your mother teach you it's impolite to interrupt people?" and immediately continue with my talk without even giving her a chance to apologize or anything. That shows how little I think of her. I didn't insult her, I just put her in her place. She acted like a bitch and I made clear that I'm not gonna take it, but I did it without insulting her. In fact she should feel ashamed.
If, on the contrary, she is nice and polite, I treat her with respect as well. If she introduces herself and asks for my name, I surely will give it to her. Well, maybe I'll mess around a bit and make her guess or ask her if she needs my name to steal my identity or something like that. xD

Well, I know what you mean. I didn't refe to you, but to niche. That was an insult no matter what you say.
And eh, I never felt the need for pickup lines. I rather just let conversation devolop in a natural way - I actually wanted to explain what I meant by this here but I'm too lazy. It works and I don't need any cheesy lines. It also has a rather high success rate in terms of talking to girls that are actually interesting. But yes, I know what you mean, Blizz.
Also, playing guitar in public does wonders if you know which songs to play :V:

You mean like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5QCs3PnQBc) and this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0Frja3_q3E)? :V

Actually I wasn't defending myself but I was defending Niche. He knows exactly what I'm talking about. xD Because of the "environment" where he goes for girls requires aggressive behavior, he probably won't be able to use conventional conversation starters so he has to pull out heavy artillery in form of these "pickup lines". Trust me, in the situation where Niche uses that kind of lines, they aren't even offensive. They are rather calibrating the entire situation until a "normal" conversation can be inserted. And he approaches groups of girls (sometimes including guys) rather than solo girls.

@Niche: Just one question, then let's put this conversation aside and get back on topic. How long have you been in there?

@Blizz: Oh trust me, "aggressive behavior" is not only required, but also highly likely to get you killed. I love dublin  :roll:. Conversation starters tend to be good wherever you go, it's just picking an appropriate "target". Not sure what you mean by in there though. If you mean dublin, all my fifteen years. If you mean being good around girls, about a year.

Quote from: The Niche on July 09, 2010, 01:54:21 pm
If you mean being good around girls, never.

fixed.
Now, back to Blizzards pickup lines from 1-2 pages ago. Those where actually hillarious xD

Just let me add something before we return. xD

@Niche: Actually it works fine for me as it is. I only need to use aggressiveness in unnatural environments like a club. If a girl is in a club, she will get hit on by many guys. If you come around just to seem to be like the rest, you're already out (but you know that). As always, I enter with something neutral. In case I get "resistance", I pull out the hard stuff just to calibrate the situation.

One of my favorites:

QuoteOh, I get it. You're the kind of girls that spend 2 hours dressing up nicely, going to the club and then rejecting every guy that approaches you so you feel better about yourselves. That reminds me of a friend of mine. She was nice a couple of years ago. She used to be good at puns and everybody would laugh when she pulled one off. But about 2 years ago she changed. She couldn't have a normal conversation with somebody in a group without constantly insulting that person in form of really mean and cheap puns. I stopped seeing her just for that. Wouldn't you do the same thing?

I love it so much because I tell them what they don't want to hear (about their bitchy act), continue the conversation about my friend before they have a chance to say anything about it and reverse the entire situation by implicitly asking them what I should do about them being bitches. I just made them realize what kind of bitches they were to me and demonstrated my authority. And if that doesn't cut it, screw them, they are not worth any more effort. There are prettier and nicer girls (there's always a prettier girl) around that actually deserve me. Why waste 7 days on a bitchy girl if I can get a prettier one in 3. (This wasn't a question.)
At least Darija's good for one thing since I don't hang around with her anymore. xD

But then again, who's stupid enough to go try meet new people in clubs where it's loud and you can't pull off a normal conversation. (This wasn't a question either.) I approach whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like. Casually involving a solo-girl in the middle of a street into a conversation is a lot easier and a lot more natural. There is even no anxiety because you're just talking. And you don't even have to act like a clown for that. In fact, I lead the entire conversation making her talk most of the time. I answer questions as short as possible and don't reveal details nor seem too impressed about her.

Examples include situations like:

QuoteShe: You have a job? I thought you were a student. You look so young.
Me: I actually am a student.
She: So you have a job and go to college? Wow! Which college are you in?

In this situation I only corrected her mis-conclusion. I didn't tell her which college I'm in which makes it even better when she asks, because it's the best college in my country. That whole thing makes me seem humble. xD The girl is instantly impressed and it's hard to tell whether by my confidence or by my achievements.
And lol, I can't use this anymore, I got my master a week ago. xD

Another example:

QuoteShe: I work as a lawyer.
Me: Ah, that's nice. So you put all the bad guys away? That must be exciting.
She: Hahaha, no, I just do small stuff like advising and maybe sometimes civil charges.
Me: Aw, too bad you're not a bigshot. When will you become one?

I wasn't mean or anything. I was just being sincere. That my expectations are high and she doesn't meet them, is another story. It conveys that I am used to be surrounded by successful people which instantly puts her in a situation where she has to prove herself to me. Suddenly it's not me who's chasing her, she's the one chasing me. On top of all I have inspired her to become more. Thank god for my high standards. xD

Usually one of the hardcore versions of the last situation is when she is or used to be a model. There is nothing bad you can say about being a model so you have to use something that sounds more like Niche would say.

QuoteShe: I work as a model.
Me: Really? I knew it! When I saw your hands, I knew that you have to be one of those hand models. Have I seen your hand in a well-known commercial somewhere?
She: Wait, no, I'm not a hand model.
Me: So you're not a model?
She: Yes, I am a model.
Me: Ok, what kind of model are you then? Hair model?
She: No, I'm a real model.
Me: What do you mean by "real model"?
She: You know, I walk on the catwalk and stuff.
Me: Ah, that kind of model. I never would have guessed.

In this situation I am just not letting her being a model get to me. I stay calm and my answers are sincere.
Why would I do something like that? She obviously tried to wipe me out with the model thing and I was supposed to be all like "wow, you're a model, you're so cool". I do something counterintuitive here. All she did in her life is probably to get born. And I'm not letting her feel better than me just because she's pretty. If she wants to impress me, she will have to show me something that will actually impress me. That can be a good sense of humor, kindness, etc.
The point is that I will not allow her to impress me with her beauty, something that she definitely didn't actually work for. And I am actively demonstrating my attitude by denying her beauty without telling her that she isn't pretty (which would be mean).

[EDIT]I love how you put target in quotes, an actual term. xD[/EDIT]

@Sub: Trust me, Niche is good with girls. I know what I'm talking about. Even though his skill is only situational.

Ok, now REALLY back on topic.

Situation: Something happens (e.g. a girl is about to fall) and you save her. Right after she realizes what happened you say "Now you have to buy your savior a drink." or "Now you have to save me from thirst and buy me a drink." xD

Here is how I came up with that one:
The other day while I was sitting in a tramway, a girl got up and went towards the exit. I was watching out the window, though I had noticed her and was observing her without ever looking at her (priceless if you can do that kind of thing). The driver hit the brake for a moment and she got pulled back. At that moment I was very close to her and noticed that. I quickly grabbed her arm before she fell (of course she probably wouldn't have fallen). She started giggling and I said "Now you have to buy your savior a drink.". I smiled and she laughed. And that was that, I let her go.

Wow, detailed instructions from the master :)

I'm trying to think of a good line to ask a girl if her personality is as good as her looks without actually mentioning that she looks good. 'Tis tricky.

I don't usually mind doing that. You can pull off a classic from you guys (like "What else do you have going besides your looks?") or be direct (like "I was thinking. I can see that you're pretty, but are you interesting as well? I don't talk to boring people, you know." accompanied with a smile). I just made that one up. And I like it. I actually tell her that she's pretty without making a big deal out of it and I got her to talk about herself. Don't try it before you're sure she is attracted to you. I don't think it would work. It might work in a natural situation after a some time into the conversation, though. O_o

And I'm no master, lol. I just try to get by. ;) At least I don't like to call myself a master. There's nothing more that I hate than conceited and arrogant people.

My best advice would probably be to tell this to yourself and actually believe in what you're saying.

QuoteJust relax. She's just a human being. Who cares.

Options:
a) get ticked because he thinks I lack confidence.
b) cry.
c) think of another line.

Option ((c) think of another line) selected. Processing decision...
output:
Hi, I'm collecting souls for Satan, can I have your-No, that's just mean.

I wasn't correcting myself, by the way.

Quote from: The Niche on July 09, 2010, 03:10:38 pm
a) get ticked because he thinks I lack confidence.

O_O

The line's funny, though. xD How about a mod?

Hi, I'm collecting souls for Satan, can I have your- Oh wait, you don't have one.

And lol:

Ah, good old paedobear.

The point of the line however, is that you're about to say she has no soul but you don't want to offend her by saying it.

Another one:

"That looks delicious. Can I have a bite?"

You shouldn't use it when she isn't eating anything. >.<

EDIT:

That reminded me of a good one from a movie. I can't remember the movie's name, but I think it was starring Bruce Willis. He got out of prison and ended up at the house of a woman, the other main character in the movie (can't remember who starred her). Anyway, he's like "Woah, I didn't have that in years since I got into prison." and starts reaching towards the woman. She is uncomfortable with that and covers herself a bit. Bruce keeps reaching and reaches for the pizza behind her on the table. "God, I totally forgot how good they are." he says while he takes a bite.
xD

Brilliant. Pure brilliance.

Quote from: Blizzard on July 09, 2010, 03:48:06 pm
That reminded me of a good one from a movie. I can't remember the movie's name, but I think it was starring Bruce Willis. He got out of prison and ended up at the house of a woman, the other main character in the movie (can't remember who starred her). Anyway, he's like "Woah, I didn't have that in years since I got into prison." and starts reaching towards the woman. She is uncomfortable with that and covers herself a bit. Bruce keeps reaching and reaches for the pizza behind her on the table. "God, I totally forgot how good they are." he says while he takes a bite.
xD

:rofl:

Wow, I'm really creative today.

"Quick, I need your opinion! Does this shirt make me look gay? No? How about now?"

Has anybody watched Scary Movie? Remember that one scene where the black guy asks the same question about his black shirt? I think it was in Scary Movie 2. Anyway, before he asks "And now?" he makes a knurl on the shirt at chest height which makes him look incredibly gay. xD If this doesn't get them laughing, nothing will. xD

I think we may have a winner in that!

Quote from: Subsonic_Noise on July 09, 2010, 01:20:54 pm
Well, I know what you mean. I didn't refe to you, but to niche. That was an insult no matter what you say.
And eh, I never felt the need for pickup lines. I rather just let conversation devolop in a natural way - I actually wanted to explain what I meant by this here but I'm too lazy. It works and I don't need any cheesy lines. It also has a rather high success rate in terms of talking to girls that are actually interesting. But yes, I know what you mean, Blizz.
Also, playing guitar in public does wonders if you know which songs to play :V:

Where you talking about yourself O.o?

Sub is a guy.

Aha! I KNEW IT!

<Applauds SBR*>

Modding the Satan one again:

Hey, I'm collecting souls for Satan, can I have your - wait, do you even have one?

I like the most recent mod. xD

Another one:

Oh my god, you poor girl! You can't even afford a shirt with sleeves! *grabs arm* Let's go buy you some real clothes.

Also works with any variation with clothes, e.g. shirt with one sleeve, shirt that looks like torn, torn jeans, etc.
This would be hilarious in the middle of a mall. God, I still haven't come around trying it out. xD

Quote from: SBR* on July 10, 2010, 06:00:25 am
Aha! I KNEW IT!

No, no you didn't, idiot.

Quote from: Branden on July 10, 2010, 07:29:23 am

Quote from: SBR* on July 10, 2010, 06:00:25 am
Aha! I KNEW IT!

No, no you didn't, idiot.

I, agree.

I disagree.

Stay on topic.

I officially declare this topic as epic.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put I and your sister together.

I love when people make jokes about my sister cos it opens up the opportunity to do this:

MY SISTER IS SIX!!!

Fail.

Quote from: The Niche on July 10, 2010, 09:38:08 am
I love when people make jokes about my sister cos it opens up the opportunity to do this:

MY SISTER IS SIX!!!

Fail.

My sister actually is six, so it makes it way funner for me. :xD:

You're right. She's too old. :V:

So is mine. And that's the older one. The younger one is four. Y'interested now, Blizz?

I would be weirded out if he wasn't. :V:

it's getting off topic.... maybe Blizz'll move it out again....

One of my favourites:

Hi. You'll do.

Hi, You really smell tasty.

Works all the time.

A bit offtopic, but where do you actually live / use those that they work? It for sure wouldn't where I live / go>.>
Isn't it possible to start conversation out of natural interest? I'd say the best "pickup lines" are very situational, like (bad example) when you see a girl wearing a band t-shirt of a band you know - that's a perfect comversation starter and the probability to actually talk to someone interesting is higher since you know you already have something in common.
But then again, I'm probably around pther girls than you. I like it better this way, actually.

Agreed.  Most girls would laugh at you, not with you if you used any of these at my college.  If you are at a party and want to start something with a girl, you just go over and do it.  No fancy stuff necessary.

Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a 5 dollar foot long.

Do you make banana cream pies? Because you just made my banana cream.

@Sub: It's simple to separate. You have the natural environments with low energy (mall, streets, etc.) and the unnatural environments with high energy (club, party, probably pub, etc.).

When you're in a place with high energy and have a low energy, you're failing. If you're in a club and not dancing and enjoying yourself, you look not interesting. Also, as I already said, if you approach a hot girl that got very probably hit on a lot this evening already, you can't expect to have a casual conversation. It simply doesn't work.

The same thing goes for environments with low energy. If you go around jumping and shouting in a mall, you'll just look weird. Though, here you can strike off a normal conversation. e.g. What Sub did was observe, notice a detail and use that to start a conversation. This is the easiest possible approach and the success rate skyrockets through the roof.
That's that, nothing else required. If you're in a club or at a party, it doesn't work that way. Clubs are like virtual reality. Everything's there, but nothing is actually real. You can't actually be yourself. I mean, you are yourself, but it's not your everyday self. It's another version of yourself. It's like a dream.

Basically, Niche's mainly targeting clubs. This is where his stuff works.

@winkio: Doesn't work for everybody. I haven't been always good with ladies. If my former self tried to pull off the stuff that I do now, it wouldn't have worked. Why? Because I wasn't who I am now. I wasn't confident, I wasn't assertive, I wasn't (that) funny, I wasn't calm, I wasn't speaking loud and clear, I wasn't making eye contact, I wasn't moving slowly as if I control time itself. Today I know who I am and what I want and I know how to convey that with my body language without saying a single word. I make eye contact until they pull away, leaving me as the dominant one. (This is an awesome way to demonstrate dominance over other guys. I usually use it after being nice to them. <3)

That's why it works, not because of some stupid pickup lines. You have no idea what weird shit I pulled through as "pickup lines" and got laid anyway. I love to experiment with that stuff and see how far I can go (not always, lol). I even did something like "Ladies, I'm too lazy to think of a pickup line so I just used that as a conversation starter with you." followed by "Don't you think it's weird that men always think that magical one-liners will get them laid?" before they have a chance to respond to the probably most idiotic pickup line they have ever heard. It's not what you say, but how you say it. Heck, I even went in with "What do you think of the weather today?" followed by "I find it just laughable that forecasts are about 50% right. Did you know that this actually makes the information you get from broadcasts equal nothing? If there's a 50% chance something might happen, you're completely out. You have no information what will happen, both are equally probable."

My point is that your stuff at college parties will work because you just get over there which conveys confidence. Confidence did it for you. And being calm and collected of course. xD And a conversation starter at a party can be as lame as "What do you think of the party?" followed by "I find it funny how mostly only the girls dance. Look at the guys. They're like nailed to the bar/table/whatever. Why do you think is that?" Bam. Score. Started a conversation. How? By being observational (and not over-analyzing!). As I said, Sub's doing a good job with that.

@Sub (again): As I already said, natural environments can take natural conversations. When you're in a club, it's a whole different thing. The girls knows she's dressed up and it's highly probable you are approaching her because you are sexually interested. That gives her the power to blow you off which is why a normal conversation starter doesn't work. Even if you aren't sexually interested, she thinks that you are and she will act that way. And she will blow you off except if you actively demonstrate disinterest. There's no need to insult or anything like that, just convey that you think lowly of her (e.g. like I do when I get interrupted).
It's like beauty is a weapon and if you show them that it's not working on you, they can't use it against you. Again, this is for unnatural environments with high energy. On the streets just do your thing. I'm mainly trying to explain here how Niche works because I know his kind of people. xD

And wow, I love this thread. The inspiration and ideas just pour out of me. I type large chunks of (more or less useful) text without stopping. ^_^

No, Blizz, I mean if you used a line like that at my college, girls would just think you are some dick with an overblown ego.  Granted, college culture is a lot different than club culture and other stuff.  I guess my point is that pickup lines only work on a certain crowd.

I agree with that. And yeah, it's quite situational. The main thing is because college girls are still young and haven't had their share of stupid pickup lines. Imagine you get hit on twice a day. That makes 700 pickup lines per year which comes to over 2000 in 3 years (length of normal undergraduate college, right?). It's naive to assume girls won't instinctively figure out a pattern of loser guys using stupid pickup lines and develop a defensive mechanism. >.< They even get used to insults. Since they don't care about you, your insults have no weight. >.<

QuoteGuy: Some-random-compliment-as-pickup-line.
Girl: Yeah, thanks. You can go now.
Guy: Why are you being such a bitch? I was just being nice.
Girl: Because it works.

Bam, he's out.
Careful though, women are not bitches. It's a defensive mechanism. It's your own fault if you came over as a wussy, kissing her ass and trying to "buy" her love with compliments.

Oh, that might be the reason then, Blizz. I never go to clubs or discos. I rather go to concerts and, occasionally, cosplay conventions (though I do not do cosplays myself), and people there, including girls, are far more interesting to talk to, at least for me. I have no problems talking to girls there without ever needing a single pickup line. And guess what, I never talked to anyone there who I regretted talking to.
I respect you doing it this way, but I could never bother to actually use any pickup lines.

btw, this is not offtopic. We're discussing pickup lines, right?

No, it's on topic. :)
As I said, I usually don't use pickup lines as such. I just use conversation starters. I like meeting girls in clubs, because I like dancing and going out so a girl that I meet in a club is more likely to go out with me if she becomes my girlfriend. Also, I like to explore areas I'm actually not interested in. Sure, what you're interested in can provide a good amount of material what you can talk about, but if it's about something you're usually not interested in, it can be exciting to find out about it. e.g. I don't do skating or ice skating, but once I was with a girl ice skating and it was an experience I will never forget. I didn't fell once, yay to me. xD

If you know how genetic algorithms work, this is basically what I do. Even though I have certain interests and I'd like that a girls shares a few specific interests, I noticed that it always comes down to one or two specific types of girls which fail at everything else that I would want from a girl. So sometimes I made a huge jump to a completely different area where types of girls are that I haven't met yet.

This may sound very abstract, but imagine it would be about you. You go one time only to a club and end up meeting the girl of your dreams there. Get my idea?

Also, I don't mind meeting uninteresting people from time to time. It reminds me what I should appreciate and that not everybody is interesting or at least not in every way. There are people who are interesting in specific ways and I'm always open for a new experience because this is what defines me. That way I grow as a human.

EDIT: Let me pick up where I stopped about sharing interests. I noticed that most girls that like games are usually quite irresponsible or childish. Even though it's cool to have a girl that likes video games, it's incredibly annoying to have to deal with her immaturity. Another example would be girls that listen to Trance music. I have yet to meet a girl that listens to Trance that is not a "dude". They simply aren't feminime enough for me. :/ A few girls that like to party that I met were too masculine or too full of themselves (not all!). It's a tricky world out there. xD I have yet to find a working combination and I pretty much stopped looking for common interests. Until recently I was exploring how personality and character are correlated and as far as I can tell so far it seems that they aren't. I have met girls that are fun, clever, etc., but they wouldn't blink with an eye to screw me over or cheat on me with another guy. I should know, they left their boyfriends to be with me after all. :/ So now I'm trying to find a girl that has enough character (not too much, nobody wants a self-proclaimed saint!) that has personality. Of course beauty is a factor in all of that because this kind of relationship without sexual attraction is called a friendship and I'm looking for more than friendship so she has to meet some standards in that area. And I won't apologize for that. I like beautiful women. I'm simply not attracted to the average Jane. Period.

Good standards indeed. Personally, I'm extroadinarily immature and most of the attractive non-bitch women I know are as well, so it's all good. Means I get to play pokemon with my girlfriends.  :D

That's cool. ^_^

Quote from: Blizzard on July 10, 2010, 01:36:22 pm
I noticed that most girls that like games are usually quite irresponsible or childish.

I feel sorry for you that you obviously met the wrong girls here :3 And I actually know what you mean about exploring new areas. What do you think how I first got to those cosplay conventions xD I  now kind of got into it, and I still do stuff I never did before - but I still avoid clubs, bars and discos. It's just not my thing, especially since I don't drink alcohol - I rather hang out with stoners, actually. But I don't think there is too much to do at a bar when you don't drink alcohol and can't enjoy the music.
But yes, I agree with you at the "exploring new areas" thing. Though you should overthink some of your stereotypes - youre missing out some awesome people there :P

Actually...

I will not be humble at this moment and I will say that I meet about 80% of the girls in a club that dig me. And I do not even try. Sure, there are a lot of "so-called flakes" (meaning a girls who's trying to trick me into liking her even thought she's not the real deal), but I disregard them. Lol, I actually don't even take them into my statistics.

Quote from: Blizzard on July 10, 2010, 05:30:06 pm
Actually...

I will not be humble at this moment and I will say that I meet about 80% of the girls in a club that dig me. And I do not even try. Sure, there are a lot of "so-called flakes" (meaning a girls who's trying to trick me into liking her even thought she's not the real deal), but I disregard them. Lol, I actually don't even take them into my statistics.

That's coo that somany girls dig you but how does that relate to what I said? xD

->Here's a few:

      • My heart seems to be having a sore throat... Coz it's been screaming out your name for a while now.
      • Are you an owner of a crayon company? Coz you bring color to my life!
      • If you're a ball & I'm the player, can I shoot you? Probably not so I'll always miss you.
      • Can i take your picture? Coz i want to show Santa exactly what i want for Christmas!!
      • You like sugar don't you? You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen.
      • One of your parents must be a keyboard. Coz you're my type.
      • Here miss, have an inner tube. Coz I'll drown you with my love.
      • Will you be my sidecar? I'm riding single.
      • Do you have a license? Coz you're driving me crazy!
      • Damn watch. When I'm with you, time seems to stop.
      • I'd like to be born again as a bee. So that you will be my honey.
      • You must be good at puzzles. My day just started & it's already complete!
      • Excuse me, are you a dictionary? Coz you give meaning to my life!
      • Are you a cliff? Coz I'm falling for you.
      • You must be tired. You've been running in my mind all day!
      • What's your height? Then how did you fit in my heart?!
      • Are you an alarm clock? Coz you woke up my sleeping heart!
      • Did you swallow a firecracker? Coz when you smile, sparks fly!
      • You look like somehow I know... My next girlfriend...

Results will be smiles to giving away their numbers. (Note: not recommended for parties & clubs)  :xD: They're sweet but not exactly sexy... Here are 2 "Tried & Tested"s":

      • Hi... So should we start a conversation or just stare at each other from afar?  :naughty:
      • *approaches & looks at face* I won the bet! You ARE just as pretty up close as from our table!

Haha, all these are translated versions from ones here in the Philippines. If you know how to read Filipino, here's my friendster site where I got these:

      Friendster (http://profiles.friendster.com/44469051)


†

@Sub: I think that I kinda misunderstood your post from before. O_o IDK how, but I understood that you were saying that you can meet nice people that like you on the streets where I just wanted to add that you can do that in clubs, too. O_o Sorry about that.

Here's a new one:

I'm your father.

Too bad I didn't think of it yesterday, I could have tried that out. xD

EDIT: Those two you tried and tested are good. xD

Here's an interesting one which I usually don't use at the convo start, but it might just work out nicely:

You're pretty. Too bad you're not my type.

Quote from: Blizzard on July 11, 2010, 06:21:51 am
@Sub: I think that I kinda misunderstood your post from before. O_o IDK how, but I understood that you were saying that you can meet nice people that like you on the streets where I just wanted to add that you can do that in clubs, too. O_o Sorry about that.

No problem xD I kind of got what you meant.
Just wanted to add before we can change the subject back again, I myself don't go anywhere to "pick up"  girls, and actually I don't want and need to at the moment xD So when I meet any girls it's for being friends - and I for sure don't need to go to bars for that. xD
And it's not like I walk around on the streets and start talking to random people (okay, I do that, but only at times when I feel like weirding people out.). I was just trying to explain what you were trying to explain (xD), that a bar obviously is a different environment, and one that doesn't fit to me at all.

I usually don't go out with the intention to pick up girls either. I just go out and have fun. If it happens that I meet a cool girl and end up with her that night, it was out of my hands, lol! The only thing that I sometimes do decide is that I say "I'm going out tonight and I am NOT going to pick up any girl". I did that last night. It was awesome. I mainly did it because I didn't want to ditch my friend so from the beginning I sad no pickups. Conversations yes, having fun hell yeah, but no pickups. Lol! What a nuts night. xD

->I used to have an archive of over 200+ until I had my PC reformatted...  :>.<:

P.S.
Level-ups don't hurt you know...  8)


†

So they don't. But since there's a cross at the end of your comment, I'm just going to leave your karma alone.

Here's a brilliant one:

Hi, what's your name?

Another brilliant one.

Hi, my name is Boris. Nice to meet you.

Quote from: Blizzard on July 11, 2010, 05:08:59 pm
Another brilliant one.

Hi, my name is Boris. Nice to meet you.

How about "Hi, I'm Boris! I can code in RGSS, wanna make out?"

:V

And according to some people I'm the best in the world!  :roll:

Number one pickup line ever for making yourself look like an idiot:

Hi, we've just met, but I've been staring you for the past three hours for no reason other than you have nice tits. I don't even know your name, but can I have your number?

->Here's something for two girls talking from ol' Quagmire:

"Hey ladies, I don't want to be in between you two... Or do I?"  :naughty:

GIGGIDY-GIGGIDY!!! :xD:

BTW, it's not a cross, it's a dagger... And it's been my thing since high school... :haha:


†

first of all, it's 'come', not 'be', which makes it a whole lot better.

second, whatever you may see it as, the grand majority of the world sees it as a cross.

->Sorry man, I watched that episode a long time ago. And I recently have some grammar problems due to "multitasking overload syndrome" (Something I made up :haha:)

And yeah, but I got used to the cross-thing... ^^


†

Hi. I saw you from over there and decided I want to meet and get to know you. I'll call you tomorrow to tell you where we will meet and what we will do. Type in your phone. *hands phone* And you name is? *types in name, saves* I'm Boris. Till tomorrow.

Quote from: Blizzard on July 12, 2010, 02:19:04 am
Hi. I saw you from over there and decided I want to meet and get to know you. I'll call you tomorrow to tell you where we will meet and what we will do. Type in your phone. *hands phone* And you name is? *types in name, saves* I'm Boris. Till tomorrow.

Smooth. Depending on the girl, though, they may not feel safe meeting some guy with whom they've only spoken three sentences. I suppose you could explain more over the call the next day, though.

I know what you mean. Though, I am being friendly and not coming over as a dick. So I am already different than the average guy who seems to be looking only for sex. This is quite intriguing, lol!
I usually pull this kind of thing only off when I notice a cute girl, but don't have time to talk to her at that very moment (e.g. I'm on my way to the office).

That's a good tactic, actually. Just don't give her time to doubt that you're amazing.
The alternative to that theory is that you don't give yourself time to fuck up, but if you do it that way for that reason, you'll probably fuck up later on when you actually do have to talk.

Nah, this is just random. If I fuck up, it happens later and it's not often. I'm just human after all. Don't take life too seriously, you're not gonna make it out alive anyway. xD

Don't take life too seriously, you're not gonna make it out alive. That's another line I have to use somewhere. DAmmit Blizz!!

Plagarism of a really shitty line:
Hey beautiful, where you been for the rest of my life?
James Adams, Brigands M.C.
As I said before, shitty. He woulda gotten rejected if the girl didn't have an even worse boyfriend who butted in right about then.

OMG, I just remembered. I saw a girl wear a black shirt with the word LIFE in silver glitters written all over it. I totally could have use that one. xD

Pick-up or delivery? :naughty:

Knowing Blizz, both.

Quote from: Blizzard on July 12, 2010, 05:33:14 pm
Nah, this is just random. If I fuck up, it happens later and it's not often. I'm just human after all. Don't take life too seriously, you're not gonna make it out alive anyway. xD

I only got one life. I lost all my continues at the water temple =\

I have a few more extra lives like in video games. :V

my friend has an empty packet of tea sweetener labeled "sweet thing" that he drops on the floor, picks up and says "excuse me, you dropped your name tag"

LOL!

That's comedy right there.
This is one I thought up today while doing I can't remember what.

"Go tell god he's lost an angel. And she's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over there," <Point in opposite direction>

Fugibos line is the best one yet. I could even imagine it to start a good conversation.
You all just lost to fugibo, sorry. :V:

Lol, I first want to see a proof of concept. xD How high is the success rate on very beautiful women?

Quote from: Blizzard on July 17, 2010, 10:23:08 am
Lol, I first want to see a proof of concept. xD How high is the success rate on very beautiful women?

Well, it more depends on if she has a good sense of humour and how he actually says that, so I think how beautiful she is isn't directly related to the success rate xD

Oh, it is. "Cheesy" lines have a greater success rate with average women. Arrogant lines usually have no success at all, lol!

Neutral lines have the highest success rate, especially because if somebody acts like a bitch, you can pull them back to earth becuause they are acting up unreasonably.

EDIT: Generally pretty women think they are the shit because they are pretty. Sadly some of them will let their insecurities out on others in mean ways. Of course, you do have the option to completely devastate their self-esteem by throwing the truth, they don't want to hear, into their face. But I don't bother. I rather cut them off and make them realize the truth by themselves that way. Making somebody draw a conclusion by thenselves is far more powerful than telling them with words.

All of this doesn't make them bad people. They've just had enough of all the losers approaching them. And some girls simply get too paranoid and start thinking that all guys are like that. That's why you sometimes have to pull them down to earth so they realize they are talking to a normal person, not an unsocial jerk who believes arrogant pickup lines will get him laid and that they are being the jerks at that moment.

Blizzman... gimma a break. I just returned from my holidays and I already see arguments of more than 4 sentences. I don't wanne think shit over, just wanne relax a bit.

anywayz to keep it on-topic, 'You look just like my mother'

Wolf, you have no idea how awesome this topic is. And we're still on topic, it's just more about us getting informative lectures from Blizz.
Also, that line is ugly. Have you ever used it successfully?

@wolfspirit: This isn't an argument. O_o I'm just handing out free info and a few things you get with experience. xD

EDIT: I think that line would look better when exagarated.

Oh my god, you look just like my mother. Now you have to buy me ice cream.

Even though the ice cream part might screw it up.

Quote from: The Niche on July 18, 2010, 07:55:10 am
Wolf, you have no idea how awesome this topic is. And we're still on topic, it's just more about us getting informative lectures from Blizz.
Also, that line is ugly. Have you ever used it successfully?

Haven't you learned??! Don't take me serious dude. xD

@blizz: I just don't like reading long texts :P

<Peter griffin voice> Well excuse me for being retarded!

@Blizz: Might screw up, but it'd be worth rejection to see the look on her face.

This isn't going to work, but run up to a random woman, pick her up and very loudly declare:

OM NOM NOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Make sure to pronounce the exclamation marks so the anti-rape police have plenty of time to get you, you sicko!

Quote from: The Niche on July 18, 2010, 12:50:52 pm
<Peter griffin voice> Well excuse me for being retarded!

@Blizz: Might screw up, but it'd be worth rejection to see the look on her face.

This isn't going to work, but run up to a random woman, pick her up and very loudly declare:

OM NOM NOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Make sure to pronounce the exclamation marks so the anti-rape police have plenty of time to get you, you sicko!

Retarded. Just retarded.
Now stop pretending that you speak to women outside of the internet and leave this thread.

S_N, that was a joke. -_-

Quote from: Blizzard on July 18, 2010, 01:09:40 pm
S_N, that was a joke. -_-

I know. Still very trollable, and I couldn't resist.

-_-, just -_-.

You crack me up.

Quote from: The Niche on July 18, 2010, 02:39:00 pm
-_-, just -_-.

Shut up. Regardless of joking or not, the lines suck and aren't even "funny" jokes. Not only that, it is hard to picture you with any girl, because of the way you act and treat others(and the fact you were viscous butt-buddies with Magus a while back). I picture any girl you get with being a stone cold bitch who wouldn't stay with you for over a couple of days.

Will you start behaving and stop flaming or do I need to hand out bans first?

Quote from: Blizzard on July 18, 2010, 04:48:20 pm
Will you start behaving and stop flaming or do I need to hand out bans first?

lol, like we're the only ones that do it.

It's extraordinarily hard to picture me with any girl because you haven't a fucking clue what I look like. And act and treat others? Take a look in the mirror, man.

Next person who posts something unbelievably stupid (see the past few posts that do not belong to Blizz) gets a temporary ban.

Quote from: The Niche on July 18, 2010, 05:31:20 pm
It's extraordinarily hard to picture me with any girl because you haven't a fucking clue what I look like. And act and treat others? Take a look in the mirror, man.

lol, good for you.

Quote from: winkio on July 18, 2010, 05:33:16 pm
Next person who posts something unbelievably stupid (see the past few posts that do not belong to Blizz) gets a temporary ban.

You got it.

---

On topic:
Hello there, miss. I am going to start a casual conversation with you, because pickup lines are pointless most of the time.

Also, on topic, I still think that fugibos line is one of the best so far. Incredibly cheesy, but sympathic-cheesy as opposed to arrogant or uncreative-cheesy. Someone beat that.
Though some of Blizzards earlier ones where good, too. Let's just get back to making this topic entertaining instead of a failed guide on how to start conversations kthxbye.

Opinions don't matter much when it comes to actually using that kind of stuff. I have heard of lines that were very funny (and creative), yet completely failed. Again, using a pickup line and expecting that it will lead somewhere is just plain stupid. You need to continue the conversation and, even better, it would be best if you started a normal conversation if you are in a natural environment rather than using a pickup line. I don't think I will repeat saying that a 5th time.

picking my nose staring at a girl and saying.. if you were a booger, I would of pick you first.

Quote from: Blizzard on July 19, 2010, 03:00:06 am

Spoiler: ShowHide

In case you haven't noticed: When people flamed Branden, I was on his side. Now Branden flames Niche so I am on Niche's side. If you don't recognize this as equal treatment, then your logic is twisted.
My post wasn't actually so much directed at you, even though you are really trying hard. I hope that you feel better about yourself each time you flame Niche, I really do. Because you obviously got it all so figured out. So much for arrogance.
Lol, I was once like that. When people were arrogant, I would get back at them with even more arrogance and would turn out as a complete idiot.

Opinions don't matter much when it comes to actually using that kind of stuff. I have heard of lines that were very funny (and creative), yet completely failed. Again, using a pickup line and expecting that it will lead somewhere is just plain stupid. You need to continue the conversation and, even better, it would be best if you started a normal conversation if you are in a natural environment rather than using a pickup line. I don't think I will repeat saying that a 5th time.

Now we got that out of the way, what you said there is actually what I was trying to say. That is also is why we should stop taking this topic seriously with all those "that one would work so good hurr durr did anyone try it hurr" and rather make it an entertaining topic again as it was at the beginning. Nobody will learn how to start conversations here and I really, really hope noone tries to.
Also, @Shalaren: LOL. This is what I meant.

"Are you into math? We should totally add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide the bed and then multiply. No wait, that doesn't work. Instead I'll derive you all night. I hope you know Fourier."

xD

EDIT: Not intended for actual use. xD

EDIT: "You're cute. I want to adopt you. Then I would get a mat for you so you can sleep next to my bed. =D"

Both awesome.

"Can I show you Munkey style?"

Extension on an earlier line.

"I am your father. And I'm so glad you don't mind our incestive relationship."

LMAO! Imagine the look on her face if you told her that! xD

Imagine the girl breaking down crying because she was abused as a child.

I agree, that would suck. ._.
It's not usable line anyway.

Would be hilarious though. Woops, momentary insanity relapse.

Please turn around, you appear to be turning me on <turns around> OH SHIT THAT'S WORSE!!

lol thats not a great pick up line xD, the girl would just walk away from you o-o

Sha, we've stopped doing good lines. Now we're back at cheesy ones.

"I'm your mother."

I'm a priest, would you like a long and thrilling night as an altar girl?

I'd stop being a priest for you.

Well sure, I'm a priest but I think the bishop will make an exception for you.

Your friend said that you're into me. Is it true? If not, I'm gonna seduce her to teach her a lesson! And then it's your turn.

EDIT: I think this is by far the stupidest pickup line I have come up with. Just lol!

Quote from: Blizzard on July 21, 2010, 08:11:10 pm
Your friend said that you're into me. Is it true? If not, I'm gonna seduce her to teach her a lesson! And then it's your turn.

I lol'd.

EDIT: You all could just take a page out of this guy's book (seriously, this is actually how he started our omegle conversation:)

...Dare I ask if it worked?  :rofl:

Nah, she rejected me painfully.

:rofl:

I browsed a bit over the old forum and came across a cool convo starter by me which I really wanted to post here.

QuoteWhat do you think? Do I have the right to say that I have a good clothing style or is this a matter that others have to decide? In other words, can I decide what's "in" or does it have to be some designer? Are we all just slaves of the mode industry or do we just accept it because we don't know better?

It's a great topic if you have style that deviates from the average person or from current trends. I should totally put that one in my arsenal again. ^_^

Now back to stupid lines. :D

Just walk up to a random girl and start staring at her. When she catches you, if she's worth it she'll come over and demand to know why you're staring at her. :V:

"I saw you from across the (location here) and I must say you have a nice (body part of interest here)".

I saw you from across the library and I must say you have a nice forehead.

Hello. I am a creepy man who looks at women. Of course all other men would never do such a perverted thing like looking at a woman. Don't you think it's just sick to look at women?

:w00t:

Just stumbled upon this and found it to be hillarious:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/1f307e51a7/really-cool-way-to-pick-up-chicks-from-tusinde

:D

EDIT: OMGROFLMAO! http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4215e25e61/eliot-chang-worst-pick-up-ever

Priceless. Actually, that gives me an idea.

Excuse me, I'm doing a paper on how inconvenient slavery was. What's your opinion?

Quote from: The Niche on July 26, 2010, 09:07:13 pm
Excuse me, I'm doing a paper on how convenient slavery was. What's your opinion?

Fixed.

Almost didn't see that. XD

You: "Do you live on a chicken farm?"
Her: "No. Why?"
You: "Because you sure know how to raise cocks."

xD

Quote from: Blizzard on August 04, 2010, 06:26:05 pm
You: "Do you live on a chicken farm?"
Her: "No. Why?"
You: "Because you sure know how to raise cocks."

xD

You: "Do you raise cocks?"
Her: "Uhm.. what?"
You: "Oh shit I fucked up."

LOL!

I dont need a pickup line, girls just look at me and start stripping  :naughty:
Anyway, heres something im making up on the spot:
You: So youre here to save us from 2012?
Random girl: Huh?
You: Well, your an angel right?
Its cheesy and would never work
But i felt the need to contribute

I like how it starts, though. How about this?

QuoteMe: So you're here to save us from 2012?
Random girl: Huh?
Me: Well, I'm the bad guy. What are you gonna do now?

xD

"Hey is this a Library? Because I'm checking you out."

Someone should make a rolodex of these and sell it...

I think that one was mentioned already. Here's another crappy one:

"Just great! Now I need to change my wishlist for Santa and put you on top!"

Quote from: Blizzard on August 11, 2010, 04:09:32 pm
"Just great! Now I need to change my wishlist for Santa and put nude pictures of you on top!"

Fixed.

Ohhh, you recognise me from that porn movie I did a while back!
You wana see it in 3d...? :naughty:

XD

->LOL... :xD: Everything's in 3d now! :haha:

        • Are you gravity? Coz I keep falling for you...
        • I wish I was 'T'... So I can always be next to 'U'
        • You're like dandruff 'cause I can't get you out of my head!
        • Can you recommend a good bank to make a deposit to? 'Coz I'm planning to save all my love for you!
        • When I met you, I'm like a car on the road during rush hour... I can't move on!


†

When I see you walk, dayum you walk :D

Quote from: Blizzard on August 11, 2010, 04:09:32 pm
I think that one was mentioned already. Here's another crappy one:

"Just great! Now I need to change my underwear!"

Fixed again.

Did you know the female body is about 55% water? Well guess what, I'm feeling pretty thirsty.

*momentary break from the cheesy*

She's walking on the other side of the street, you're with a friend. Get your friend to try and fail to get her attention, then run over and say
"hey uh, sorry about my friend, he's a little...impulsive,"

*back to cheesy*

I just had an idea with a variation on that. Let your friend do the same without her figuring out that you're friends. After he gets blown out, get in there and say "Ok, what did he do?". xD

Outstripped again! DAMMIT BLIZZ!!

That gives me an idea

*she beats you at something*
"Yeah, well I bet you can't outstrip me!"

*scavenges thread for good lines* *adds them into his notes* :3

Here is a good way to break ice with a girl you don't know. Trust me it works. If you meet a girl somewhere simply approach her and while doing so make eye contact with her, however, FOCUS MOSTLY ON HER HAIR as you approach her. Then, look at her for a second and then look at her hair for a second or two, and tell her she has something in it, even if she doesn't. She has no way to know that you're lying, and if she cares about her appearance she'll panic on the inside. Let her make a few "pretend attempts" to get it out herself, but ensure her that she is missing the object. After two or three attempts signal to her that you'll take over, and ask "may I?"

She'll most likely give you permission (I've never been told no, but I guess it could happen). When she does don't molest her, LOL!! Just casually use two fingers or so and pick at a spot in her hair. Softly say either "got it," or "there you go." If she asks you what it was...say either "I don't know,"(with a chuckle) or "fuzzball".

Congratulations...you know have your foot in the door and can proceed to inquire about a name...address...social security number, WHATEVER!!

A word to the wise:
This Special Attack will only bring you in contact with the elusive female race my friends! It is up to you to prove yourself worthy of procreation with her!!

Where did you paste that from? :V:

Hi, I'm a copier. Do you want to be pasted?

I didn't paste it from anywhere Niche, Lol.

I've seen that routine around, it's not original. But that doesn't make it any less awesome. I actually didn't want to post it, because I think it is way too hardcore for this topic (and particularly this forum). I personally turn this up three notches. I come over starring ONLY at her hair with a mellow and slightly creepy expression on my face. Until I get close, it looks like I am starring at her eyes. When I am close enough, she will be confused and a little bit creeped out. Incredible tension has built up and that's exactly where I want her. I slowly stretch out my hand towards her hair increasing the tension more and more. It becomes unbearable. At that moment she is totally confused. I don't say a single word, I just run two or three fingers through her hair which freezes the tension level where it is. Then I completely change my face expression into something that cannot be explained with words (when I do that expression while looking in the mirror, I get goose bumps), show her a fuzzball (yeah, I sometimes have one around with me for this to work so great) and watch her reaction on the release of the tension of the situation. She cracks up. Sometimes I even get hysterical laughter. Probably because of the hard pull back into reality.
Of course, during all that time I don't say a single word. I usually walk away right after they are able to talk again, but I never get far enough before they catch up with me. D: (They know I did the tension thing on purpose and somebody who can build up that kind of tension has something irresistible to them.)

Now please hands off the hardcore stuff (which reminds my of that neat thing I do to her hands). Hush.

EDIT: Maybe it works so great because I only do this to girls that think they are the shit and the hottest girl in the place. "The higher they fly..."
It's like bringing a nuclear weapon to a gun fight and it's one of the most powerful things I have in my arsenal.

EDIT: That expression I mentioned... Maybe it can be described with the phrase "Yeah, believe it. I just did that. And you love it." I don't know, it conveys so much that I just can't really put it into words.

EDIT: Hands off the hardcore stuff. D:

EDIT: My line for today:

Me: "Do that again."
She: "Do what?"
Me: "The thing that you just did."
She: "What thing?"
Me: "Ah, there you go, you did it again. It's so adorable."

LMFAO!!
This is great, Lol.

You just *leveled up* my A-Game!!
I can see how that may actually increase the response. This shit is legit!!

It's not so much fun for me to use this stuff, though. I like a lot more to use bullshit and actually get away with it. :D Playing on the edge is a lot more fun. Of course, dropping an a-bomb once in a while is refreshing. xD

Words of wisdom from the master :P

Excuse me, are you a doctor?
No, why?
Because you've opened me up and taken my heart. *Saving grace: Just when she's dropped you into the loser category, "you asshole!"*

Hey guys i got a great pickup line it works like 99% of the times so here is what you do:
act all natural, be yourself, be situational and talk about an interesting topic. Leave your book with pickup lines at home and forget all of them, because you don't need them anymore, unless you haven't got the slightest bit of an interesting personality.
This may sound very difficult, but just try it!

Sub, we've all realised that. This is "spam" for a reason.

Quote from: The Niche on September 10, 2010, 04:22:16 pm
Sub, we've all realised that. This is "spam" for a reason.

Quote from: The Niche on September 10, 2010, 04:22:16 pm
This is "spam" for a reason.

Quote from: The Niche on September 10, 2010, 04:22:16 pm
This is "spam"

This totally isn't in Entertainment at all.
Also, you didn't get what I was trying to say. Drop the oh so "serious" talk and get back to the entertaining ones kthxbye

Also:
"Hi, I'm Leif. It's cold in here."
...Ok, this one is an insider.

Quote from: Subsonic_Noise on September 10, 2010, 04:13:36 pm
Hey guys i got a great pickup line it works like 99% of the times so here is what you do:
act all natural, be yourself, be situational and talk about an interesting topic. Leave your book with pickup lines at home and forget all of them, because you don't need them anymore, unless you haven't got the slightest bit of an interesting personality.
This may sound very difficult, but just try it!

This again? We've gone through this already.
You're saying 99%. That means that 99 out of 100 girls you meet, you can actually get sexual with and possibly have a relationship. Saying something like that is just a pure lie. Nobody has a success rate of 99%. Nobody. Period.

EDIT: Do you actually have a need to prove to us that you are so right and we are so wrong? Is that why you are picking this up again?
Dude, it's ok. Nobody minds. You don't have to try so hard. Just be real. You do it your way if you like it so much. Different people have different preferences. Nobody is judging you or thinking less of you. It's cool.

OT:
Ahh, a great pickup line is to hit them in their car, then you get out, get their insurance number, cell phone number, name, etc.
works brilliantly...
Until you get the bill :'(

Quote from: Blizzard on September 10, 2010, 05:43:01 pm

Quote from: Subsonic_Noise on September 10, 2010, 04:13:36 pm
Hey guys i got a great pickup line it works like 99% of the times so here is what you do:
act all natural, be yourself, be situational and talk about an interesting topic. Leave your book with pickup lines at home and forget all of them, because you don't need them anymore, unless you haven't got the slightest bit of an interesting personality.
This may sound very difficult, but just try it!

This again? We've gone through this already.
You're saying 99%. That means that 99 out of 100 girls you meet, you can actually get sexual with and possibly have a relationship. Saying something like that is just a pure lie. Nobody has a success rate of 99%. Nobody. Period.

I was being sarcastic. And I dunno about you but I do not approach a girl with the set goal of "getting sexual" or having a relationship, but rather to get to know her. That is what that was about.
The main goal, sadly, has nothing to do with proving you wrong or proving how right I am (since there is no right and wrong here), but getting this thread back to entertainment. If I use a bit of sarcasm on the way, it was to be expected, right? Right.

Dude, I told you. You don't have to try so hard. It's cool.

Quote from: Blizzard on September 10, 2010, 06:04:53 pm
Dude, I told you. You don't have to try so hard. It's cool.

That's what she said.
[/offtopic]

Lol, the only girls I know that say "dude" are the ones that aren't really feminine. xD

Quote from: Blizzard on September 10, 2010, 06:15:51 pm
Lol, the only girls I know that say "dude" are the ones that aren't really feminine. xD

You never met stoner girls, then. You're missing out alot.

:V?

Actually that comes down to this.

Quote from: Blizzard on September 10, 2010, 06:15:51 pm
aren't really feminine.

For me.

Ok, wooooooooooops. Sorry Sub!

Hi, I'm a garbage inspector. Do you mind if I check out your junk?

Quote from: Blizzard on September 10, 2010, 06:25:37 pm
Actually that comes down to this.

Quote from: Blizzard on September 10, 2010, 06:15:51 pm
aren't really feminine.

For me.

Eh, define feminine. They sure as hell are feminine enough for me, at least the one I know. xD

Look it up in the dictionary. I'd define it as something that makes a woman an actual woman. Just a body doesn't turn me on. She has to do something with it. She has to dress up at least casually (not with a boring sweater and boring jogging pants, etc.) and take a bit care of herself. It's annoying as hell when I see a girl that doesn't even comb her hair. The other thing that she has to do with it is moving and standing still. If a girl doesn't move like a girl, it's not attractive to me. If a girl doesn't sit or stand like a girl, it's not attractive to me. There have to be subtle (or totally obvious) signs of feminine aura around her or it just doesn't work for me. Usually being casual does the trick for me. A girl with a T-shirt and a pair of jeans is just fine as long as her hair isn't a mess and as long as she can walk, stand and sit like a woman.

EDIT: Just to elaborate a bit more on moving, standing and sitting. This doesn't mean she has to completely exaggerate any possible move to look like a woman. There just has to be a distinguishable difference between her body movements and body movements of guys, even if it's relatively subtle.

EDIT: New line: "Do you fuck like you move? If yes, then I'll love to move around with you." Heck, this one's stupid. xD

EDIT: Do you want to touch my iPod?

EDIT: Do you want to touch my iPod?
[/quote]
i lol'd hard at this

Quote from: The Niche on September 11, 2010, 04:03:24 am
Hi, I'm a garbage inspector. Do you mind if I check out your junk?

I enjoyed this tid bit since it was sooo blatant, Lol.

Quote from: The Niche on September 11, 2010, 04:03:24 am
Hi, I'm a garbage inspector. I'm going to check out your junk.

Fixed.

Quote from: Blizzard on September 12, 2010, 04:08:54 am

Quote from: The Niche on September 11, 2010, 04:03:24 am
Hi, I'm a doctor. Take your clothes off.

Fixed better.

Wanna see my bunny rabbit?

You look like my future ex-girlfriend.

Take off all your clothes, sneak into her bedroom, wait until she falls asleep... :evil:

Quote from: Blizzard on September 15, 2010, 02:20:42 am
You look like my future ex-girlfriend.

xD, i came up with a funny one the other day but now i cant remember it :(

"You remind me of my cat."

Pickup lines, Zelda 4 style:
"Give me your fluids and I will give you mine."

Quote from: Subsonic_Noise on September 16, 2010, 03:39:49 pm
Pickup lines, Zelda 4 style:
"Give me your fluids and I will give you mine."

->lvl++ :xD:


†

"Tell me your name. I want to know the name of the girl that me and that girl over there have been talking about for the last 5 minutes."

Blizzard, I love you.

"Hi, I've MSN'd with Blizzard. Let's fuck,"

Quote from: The Niche on September 17, 2010, 12:40:52 pm
"Hi, I've MSN'd with Blizzard. Let's fuck,"

You have to end the sentence with a comma. That's the most important part of it.

"My girlfriend there thinks you're hot."

If god made man in his own image, what made you?

(I'm gonna have to actually try that one tomorrow night. D: )

Yes, used by Blizz!

Hi, What is your opinion on the current state of today's economy?


:V?

Nice one.

Hi. *pause for a minute* Take off your clothes.

->LOL... :xD:

Hello there... *long pause*...








... *takes off clothes*


†

"The voices in my head told me to come here and talk to you." :rofl:

You: Well hello there, little boy.
Her: I'm a girl and I'm (age).
You: Oh. Wanna fuck?

Quote from: The Niche on September 18, 2010, 02:31:42 pm
You: Well hello there, little boy.
Her: I'm a girl and I'm (age).
You: It's ok, dude. Nobody is judging you if you want to be a girl.

Fixed. LMAO!

Guy: Hay beautiful wanna come back to mine?
Girl: No freak!
Guy: I'll ask again right after I tell you, I have a gun  :naughty:

You must be shy. I've been standing there for 5 minutes and you still haven't come over to talk to me.

Blizzard,I love you.

Unless the girl's name is Blizzard, I don't think she will respond well to that line. :V

Hey, I was supposed to meet someone here, but they haven't shown up. Do you happen to know *insert name here*.


Meh, just thought of this. Probably horrible.

Not at all. If you modded it a bit, it would work even better since they probably will say that they don't know them.

Quote from: Cait Sith on September 19, 2010, 12:12:46 pm
Hey, I have a question for you, but I can stay only a second. I am supposed to meet someone there.
So, do you happen to know *insert name here*?

It's a different context, but it's easier to work from there. Because in this one you can leave at any time as opposed to you having to stick around in the first version.

Nice one.

You: Hey, do you have a light?
Her: Yes. *searches for one*
You: Oh, ok. *Walk off*
Her: Hey wait!*Runs after you* Or: Don't you want the light?
You: Oh, I don't actually smoke. But now you're here, what's your name?

Or

Her: Nope, sorry.
You:Oh well. What's your name?

Or this variation on a no-answer:

Quote from: The Niche on September 19, 2010, 12:32:21 pm
Her: Nope, sorry.
You: It's ok. I forgive you.

xD

EDIT: God, I love to mess around with women. xD Imagine Will Smith in Prince of Bel Air saying it in a very enthusiastic way doing that half head-banging, half quick nodding thing with a wide open mouth and a smile: "It's o-o-o-o-o-o-on!"

You're so beautiful... Can I take a picture of you?  :)



Will stun them every time...

Let me expand that.

"You're so beautiful... Can I take a picture of you? Then I'll sell it back to you."

That'll crack them up. xD

See, I just took your "cute" and added a bit of "arrogance" and "joking" into it. It's that simple. :) The ultimate spice for every one-liner. :xD:

"What are you doing here?"
"I've been stalking you obviously."
"Yeah, sure."
"I bet I can show you where your house is."

Okay, that's not a pickup line, but I did pull this off.

Said it before, and it wouldn't surprise me if I'll say it again: Sub, you are a genius.

Quote from: Blizzard on September 19, 2010, 12:26:15 pm
Not at all. If you modded it a bit, it would work even better since they probably will say that they don't know them.

Quote from: Cait Sith on September 19, 2010, 12:12:46 pm
Hey, I have a question for you, but I can stay only a second. I am supposed to meet someone there.
So, do you happen to know *insert name here*?

It's a different context, but it's easier to work from there. Because in this one you can leave at any time as opposed to you having to stick around in the first version.

Braingasm.

->Excuse me, miss? Hi, I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my fraternity rush, and one of the things on my list is a umm....weird chick. :xD:


†

"Don't fall on the train tracks. You'll make me later for work."

xD

EDIT: A friend posted today a lookalike image from a girl he saw that day. He swears that she totally looked like a vampire. So the line that this situation inspired me is: "Why do you look like a vampire?" xD I wonder how this would work on non-goth girls. xD

It'd be even better to use it on a girl who literally rolls in fake tan XD

Random guy: your mom!

Valdred: Your moms!  :naughty:

---

sucks huh?