Author Topic: Your Life Here  (Read 34044 times)

Offline PhoenixFire

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #160 on: February 15, 2014, 05:32:28 PM »
Remember NAMKCOR? He had a similar situation, but it was more extreme. So don't worry about it. You're DS to us. Whether you're a guy or a girl doesn't really make a difference to anybody here.

Yeah, ironically I still talk to her.. She's on the other site (the evil one full of spam games hehe), and honestly, she was also part of the reason I decided to say something..

Also, that doesn't mean that you're not a man. It only means that you enjoy the feminine part of yourself more. And that's fine. The only thing that is important is that this is really you and not just a way to avoid certain problems in your life. If you use it as an excuse for anything, you should reevaluate that with yourself, because the last thing that you want is to try to hide your insecurities/issues by presenting yourself as "weaker" or "more emotional" or whatever and then use it as an excuse whenever you can. e.g. Somebody is mean to you and you're like "STOP DOING THAT, I'M A SENSITIVE PERSON". You can be both sensitive and strong (though empathic and strong would be a better way of saying it).

Agreed, and no, I'm not attempting to avoid anything.. If anything, I expect this to plow me full force into more issues, not less, when it comes to life.. I agree though, who and what someone is shouldn't be based on a gender stereotype. It's not fair to that person that they have to live up to a specific expectation.
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Offline WhiteRose

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #161 on: February 15, 2014, 08:17:30 PM »
You should tell NAMKCOR to come back! :D

As for how you feel, DigitalSoul, there's nothing wrong with that at all. You are who you are. The most important thing is that you're not letting this get in the way of your relationship. I think that you are great. :)

Offline Blizzard

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #162 on: February 15, 2014, 09:07:00 PM »
The most important thing is that you're not letting this get in the way of your relationship.

I disagree. He should come first and then his relationship. If his partner cannot accept these things about him, the relationship is doomed either way. If he suppresses who he is, it will hurt his psychology and ultimately either lead to an unhappy relationship or its demise. But luckily DS doesn't have to think about that kind of stuff, lol!
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Offline Ryex

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #163 on: February 15, 2014, 09:27:40 PM »
Self identity (at lest for me) is THE most important thing to figure out in life. if you can't be comfortable with who you are then how can you enjoy life? Don't let anyone else tell you what is and isn't right about your identity DS, no one has the right to insult you for being you.

And I agree with Rose, Tell NAMCOR to come back, she's fun.

one last thing "~That's an interesting notion, in it's own way~" where is that from! I know I've heard it somewhere else and was thrilled by it's use, but I can;t remember!
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Offline PhoenixFire

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #164 on: February 15, 2014, 09:32:31 PM »
one last thing "~That's an interesting notion, in it's own way~" where is that from! I know I've heard it somewhere else and was thrilled by it's use, but I can;t remember!

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As to everything else, thank you guys so much for your support, I love you all   -hugs for everyone-   I apologize for not putting in a proper response, but I have to go get ready for work =p and I just did my taxes... oi freaking vei... 1 1/2 hours of my life lost right there. Ugh.
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Offline Blizzard

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #165 on: February 15, 2014, 09:51:40 PM »
Haha, don't worry.

BTW, my post above made me a think a bit and I wanna share my conclusions quickly.

A relationship is an entity that consists out of two equal parts. But each of the parts is also an entity for itself. If one part is broken, it makes the entire relationship actually broken. So each part in itself should always come before the whole. That means that both "you" and  your partner are more important as such than the relationship you are part of. One should not just put oneself before the relationship, they should also put the other other person before the relationship.

Here's an example. Last summer I was dating a girl, but I ended it all on the third date. The thing was that she's never had a boyfriend or anything (you could see it from a mile away by the way she behaved even though she tried to explain that she did). I realized that a relationship with me would be good for her, but I also realized that breaking up with her would cause a huge amount of emotional damage. I could describe her with several words, but none of them would fit well so I won't attempt. In general she already put up a relationship status after the first date. Not right after, but a few days later. Originally she was like "I wanted to put it up, but my sister said I shouldn't." and a few days later "I put it up anyway." This should basically tell you that part of her description would be "needy", but yeah, I'm not here to smack talk her.
I knew that I could handle this whole thing on this level for a while (and probably teach her what's good to do and what's bad to do), but the end result would be always the same: a shitload of pain for her. So I decided to end it. I basically put her before the relationship as such. It still caused some damage what I could tell by a text from her a few months later that went something like "I'm great, I just wanted to let you know blablabla. You don't have to respond, I just wanted you to know.", but at least I was able to limit the damage which I obviously couldn't avoid.
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Offline WhiteRose

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #166 on: February 15, 2014, 10:22:55 PM »
You're definitely right, Blizz. I guess a better way to put things would have been that it's great that this hasn't affected his relationship, not that it's necessarily the most important thing.

Offline PhoenixFire

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #167 on: February 16, 2014, 03:55:12 AM »
The thing was that she's never had a boyfriend or anything
...
I realized that a relationship with me would be good for her

Did anyone else do a double take when reading that particular part...? hehehe....


@Blizz and WR ~ You're correct in that it's most important to put the people before the relationship. I'm just glad that she's so supportive of me on it.
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Offline Zexion

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #168 on: February 16, 2014, 04:06:30 AM »
I support you as well! Glad you trusted the community enough, haha.

Offline Blizzard

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #169 on: February 16, 2014, 04:07:11 AM »
Experience is always good, lol! But the interpretation of the experience is probably even more important as it can make you or break you. Your past defines you, but you decide how.
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Offline Ryex

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #170 on: February 18, 2014, 04:12:48 AM »
Roomates

You may have seen rose and me talking about our roommate situations in the chat box. well I feel like I need to let a bit of this out before I start losing my temper.

I live in a 3 person student apartment. it has two bed rooms, one large double room and a smaller single room. We have a small l shape kitchen sext to a 7x7" dining area and a 14x11 living area off to the side. in the dining room we have 2 bar chairs and 4 small chairs (like small waiting area chairs) of various designs around a small  2" radius circular table. off in the living area we have 2 arm chairs and a couch facing a 50in tv my roommate bought.

sounds nice right? well it is. when I can use any of it. tonight is one of those RARE nights where there is actually ONLY 3 people here. but thouse 3 people arn't just me and my 2 roomates. no it's me, the roomate who bought the tv and his girlfriend. did I mention she lives here?. she has her own student apartment but has not slept there once in the last 2 semesters and that's not an exaggeration. she and him share the bed in the single bedroom. every night. all week. all semester. I'm actually surprised I havn't heard them at it once. I'll give them credit for being at least a little bit discreet. oh and they are always talking about when they are going to get married (highschool sweet hearts) but they arn't engaged. she has him whipped,

ok so I have a room mate who has his girl living with him in his room. not intolerable but still annoying considering she basically claims one of the two bathrooms in the apartment as hers (I use the one attached to me and my other roommates bedroom).

my other room mate is ok, me and him get along fairly well. he's a high-school friend of the whipped roommate and their entire group of friend (almost) are studying petro engineering (they are kind all rednecks, they all have multiple pairs of cowboy boots and I hanv't seen a single pair of sneakers on any of them cept the girls) .

now we git to the bad part. their group of friends is big. and I mean big. and they all like to eat dinner and study at our apartment. there is about 15 of them all together. 6-8 people beside me ate here most nights. enough to fill every chair previously describes and leave people on the floor. and they are loud, all the time. I don't like half of them, tolerate the rest and have some animosity towards 2 of the girls they all are pretty devout catholic republicans and vice their opinions like god given truth.

this one time the whipped one's girlfriend decided to re arrange the furniture. that was fine, it made better use of the space. I only had one problem with it. she insisted on putting then small end table on the corner of four walking paths (from the door the the hallway and from the kitchen into the living area) and insisted it be aligned in such a way that all 4 paths were too small, I bumped my shin on it so I moved it back close to the chair and the wall my giveing proper walking room. she instantly got up to move it back but when I stopped here, said not and explained why she just got defensive and indignant. she was then instantly backed up but her two very aggressive female friends. two women who were obviously used to walking over the men in their lives (just part of their upbringing).

I'm trained in akido, a martial art that focused complete on defense and turning an opponents attacks on them. as a result my first unconscious reaction is to step off the line of an attack and move to intercept it. to people unused to it it look like I flinch aggressively. I'm fine with this because it means I'll never get blindsided by a left hook.

anyway, one of her friends brought her hand up to get in my face, my body reacted be fore I could stop it and I had to spend the next half an hour keeping a strait face and even tone as they berated my for attempting to "hit a girl" while I calmly insisted that wasn't going to happen. 

the "you wouldn't hit a girl" mind set irks me to no end. sure it's born from a hate for domestic violence but at the same time it's escalated to the point were people are of the mind that if your male you have to let woman abuse you or fear social ostracizing. like a woman can't cause you just as much physical pain or kill just as fast as any man. 

so ya, after that night I dislike those two girls

at least they clean up after them selves though so that's good I guess, I don't end up with 8 people mess to clean up every morning.

speaking of cleaning, dishes and kitchen use.

so ya, I apparently was the only one intelligent enough to bring silverware so until recently when they bought their own I could never find a clean spoon or fork and had to clean it myself if I wanted to use it. and if I want to cook I have to do it before 6 or after 8:30 if I want use of the kitchen.

so, ya know how I said this was one of those rare nights up at the top there? I spoke too soon, while I was writing this 4 more of their friends joined us, all the whipped one girlfriend's female friends, including the 2 I dislike.

and it not like the friend are only here if my roommates are. my roommates leave the door unlocked JUST so their friends can come hang out when ever they want. The first time I cam home at 2 in the after noon to find 2 of there friends hanging out in front of the tv but the roommates gone I took a good deal of effort to just keep walking back to my room with out making my thoughts known.

So it may seem like I'm a push over for not doing something sooner but at the same time  I'm not fuming angry about the situation. most of the time I don't mind. in the beginning when it was only twice a week I was fine with it. but after the first month it started ramping up till it was every night and more and more people. and by that time I felt trapped with it. I can't speak up with out appearing to do a complete about face and a being a douche. and with the way they all are, especially the girls, they wouldn't listen anyway.

ok rant over. back to work.

EDIT:

PS. I forgot to say that on average at least one on my roommates friends sleeps on the couch every night, that's in addition to my, my roommates, the whipped one and his girlfriend. sometimes 2 friends, sometimes 3. (not all on the couch of course, they use the arm chars too). point being that an apartment  for 3 has on average 5 people sleeping there.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2014, 04:28:33 AM by Ryex »
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Offline winkio

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #171 on: February 18, 2014, 04:24:55 AM »
Oh the joys of roommates.  I've never been in a situation nearly as bad, but yeah, even when they are nice people roommates are just a pain.  And it doesn't help that the vast majority of roommates are pathologically inconsiderate.  Oh well, what can you do.

Offline Ryex

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #172 on: February 18, 2014, 04:31:00 AM »
the few weekends they spend at their parents and leave me alone are a blessing. being able to sit with my laptop in the dinging room with noone else there is great.
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Offline KK20

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #173 on: February 21, 2014, 08:36:27 PM »
Freaked out about Data Mining homework. Spent over 4-5 hours staring at notes and asking a project member how to do it, but I gave up. Went to class and overheard someone saying something like "You got x > 0.5, right?" I looked back at the homework and solved it in 3 minutes. Again, my overthinking confused me so much. But seriously, the professor's notes were completely vague and misleading.

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Offline WhiteRose

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #174 on: February 21, 2014, 10:56:34 PM »
I've had almost that exact same experience before, usually in Computer Science classes. I'm not sure if it's something about the subject, or if CS just tends to get lackluster professors.

Offline StorocnekXx

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #175 on: February 24, 2014, 12:25:57 AM »
I was partying yesterday for, like, the second day in my life in a discotheke.
I knew the barkeeper (she is my teacher, lol.) and I got some free drinks.
Unfortunately, dancing strangely made my glasses drop on the floor.
Put them back on; everything seemed to be allright, and the party carried on for another 4 hours.

I wook up at 10 this morning, felt a little dizzy and stayed in bed for another 6 hours checking my phone, doing things on the laptop, playing games and so on.
After that, I decided to put my glasses on and thought "man, they are really dirty, i need to clean them"
and took them in my hands.

and THAT'S when I noticed, one glass is missing.  :O.o:
it dropped on the floor while dancing
but i did not notice that while wearing them 4 hours while partying.  :facepalm:
I mean, hell, i wasn't that drunk, seriously not, but why the hell did i not notice my glasses only got one glass left?!
i nearly died of laughter because of that, to be honest.

end of story is, i'm fkn blind now. :c
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Offline Blizzard

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #176 on: February 24, 2014, 12:50:56 AM »
LMAO, that's some story. xD
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Offline PhoenixFire

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #177 on: February 24, 2014, 05:02:43 AM »
end of story is, i'm fkn blind now. :c

I have a similar story for you in the way of glasses.. well, not all that similar, but I ended up blind at the end too :3


One morning, a couple years ago, I had just gotten out of the shower, and decided to clean off my glasses, which made me see that there seemed to be some sort of film on them, but it was coming off fairly easy, so a took a soft sponge and cleaned them off the rest of the way. They looked actually really good.... until I dried them off, and then I saw that I had somehow ended up scratching the shit out of them, and could no longer see through them whatsoever. Called over to the eye doctor, and they were more than able to get me a new pair. The downside? I had to drive 20 minutes, 2 towns over. Scariest drive of my life...    ._.
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Offline WhiteRose

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #178 on: February 24, 2014, 06:02:02 AM »
end of story is, i'm fkn blind now. :c

I have a similar story for you in the way of glasses.. well, not all that similar, but I ended up blind at the end too :3


One morning, a couple years ago, I had just gotten out of the shower, and decided to clean off my glasses, which made me see that there seemed to be some sort of film on them, but it was coming off fairly easy, so a took a soft sponge and cleaned them off the rest of the way. They looked actually really good.... until I dried them off, and then I saw that I had somehow ended up scratching the shit out of them, and could no longer see through them whatsoever. Called over to the eye doctor, and they were more than able to get me a new pair. The downside? I had to drive 20 minutes, 2 towns over. Scariest drive of my life...    ._.

D: What had happened? Was the film actually some sort of anti-scratch coating or something?

Offline PhoenixFire

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Re: Your Life Here
« Reply #179 on: February 24, 2014, 07:40:27 AM »
haha... yeah, it was an anti-scratch coating, and a coating of that anti-glare stuff.. By the time I got to see the eye doctor, she asked me (jokingly) if I had taken a brillo pad to it hahaha

(for those of you that don't know what a brillo pad is, think of it as taking a swatch of steel wool and trying to clean glass with that...)
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