Quote from: Blizzard on June 18, 2011, 04:35:11 pm
people often don't want advice, just to be understood.
This is the view I get. In th eexperience I have if people went around searching for advice, they go to a professional for it. They go to friends for understanding, empathy, and sympathy. Sometimes trying to hand out advice to a friend gets them wrinkly and confrontational. Sometimes they're genuinely seeking advice, but that's not the tone I got from your post.
When I read your post it came off like 'here's my issue everyone.' There was no subtext or blatant questioning asking 'what do I do about it?' - and even so, I still said 'All it takes is not wanting to lie anymore.' Hell - I assume you already know as much. And really, Wink? The way you're expressing your disappointment in -not- receiving the advice you sought is childish.
"I didn't get what I want; I'm just going to leave" "Still posting? I dislike you all. >:/" Sure, that's a dangerous and gross over exaggeration, but it details in major what people might interpret from your posts in minor. You said earlier that you wanted to abandon this thread because you saw "I" in every post, without elaboration. Then, in response to a post or two you said "Everyone's centered on themselves" and the general context and tone suggested it was in a derogatory fashion.
At this point you're coming off as confrontational, not sympathetic, and even the truest of friends may have a difficult time continuing to express empathy. And now your next post is finally detailing -why- you're responding as you are - You wanted advice, not empathy.
My advice? Next time you want advice on an issue, state it. And if you forgot, because your human, and you got empathy where you wanted advice, calmly explain that to the group you're asking. Say "Your empathy helps friends. I was looking for advice on the issue though; any suggestions?"
Also, a final point. If you wanted advice, your second post served only to get the idea in peoples heads that you didn't want advice, because you felt that we were incapable of delivering it due to some perceived fault. And your third post only further increased that feel by implying that people here were incapable of truly understanding others' faults and woes because they're too deeply obsessed with their own issues they don't take the time / care about others.
And to be completely honest, your behavior here has lightly offended me. Some of the points I detailed above are exactly why.
You want to abandon this thread? Fine, I'll just get out of it. Don't expect me to respond again.