ITT: Nerd Jokes

Started by tSwitch, May 03, 2009, 09:41:43 pm

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tSwitch

stuff only us awesome computer geeks would get
like...

#define ever ;;
for(ever) {
   //comment
}


or


sudo chown -r us ./base


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Diokatsu

DEAR GOD I GOT THEM ;_;

fugibo

DEAR GOD U USE UBUNTU `_`


sudo rm -Rf /



Guy1: Hey, my code is failing when given pre-1970 dates...
Guy2: Epoch fail!

tSwitch

Quote from: Biker WcW on May 03, 2009, 10:17:28 pm
DEAR GOD U USE UBUNTU `_`


no, but I know some unix

Quote from: Biker WcW on May 03, 2009, 10:17:28 pm

sudo rm -Rf /



that's not funny D:

Quote from: Biker WcW on May 03, 2009, 10:17:28 pm

Guy1: Hey, my code is failing when given pre-1970 dates...
Guy2: Epoch fail!



yay xkcd


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Blizzard

sudo make me a sandwich
ok
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Sally

wow... i don't get these.. plz explain :( TT

tSwitch

May 04, 2009, 09:49:04 am #6 Last Edit: May 04, 2009, 10:19:40 am by Eilte Four NAMKCOR
QuoteEight bytes walk into a bar.  The bartender asks, "Can I get you anything?"
"Yeah," reply the bytes.  "Make us a double."


QuoteWhy do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.


Quote"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
very long pause....
"Java."


Spoiler: ShowHide


Quote
The programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can't find a girlfriend with a good <HEAD> on her <BODY>, reason 0 being that he has limited cache.  So he searches his memory to recall connecting to the TCP/IP tunnel of his last girlfriend -- sometimes even without a secure socket.  His last girlfriend always complained about his lack of comments. He fumed, "I hate commenting!"  Realizing it was a program requirement, he told her she had nice bits.  This resulted in a Syntax Error.  Now she demanded a massage, but this was rejected as "Feature Creep."  He smacked her back-end and shouted, "Who's your parent node?!"  He scanned for open ports.  He attempted to install a backdoor worm but her response was 403.  While his data uploaded into her input device, she considered terminating the process.  But instead she initiated a Do While loop where she recalled a previous boyfriend with a larger pointer.  To expedite the routine routine, she screamed, "Hack into my system! Hack deep into my system! You're 1337, baby!"  This caused his stack to overflow, and he shot his GUI on her interface.


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King Munkey


G_G Is my hero!
Munkey != monkey
Munkey > monkey

Sally

i got the 3rd the one with the spoiler and the last one.  funny but the first 3i dont know... :(

fugibo

Lol @ all of these.

I <3 UNIX. You have to admit that it is better than Windows at shell jokes XD

Sally

Quote"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
very long pause....
"Java."


love this obne


fugibo

Are we allowed to explain them to people?

Blizzard

OMG, I get ALL of them. ;_; The Java one was funny. xD
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

tSwitch

Quote from: Biker WcW on May 04, 2009, 08:54:34 pm
Are we allowed to explain them to people?


Quote from: Eilte Four NAMKCOR on May 03, 2009, 09:41:43 pm
stuff only us awesome computer geeks would get
like...


I guess you could, but if they don't get them on their own they aren't a computer geek :P


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Vell

ah... yes. I am most certainly not a geek.

King Munkey

I don't get the unix/ubuntu ones. The rest I do get.

G_G Is my hero!
Munkey != monkey
Munkey > monkey

tSwitch

Quote from: Rocket Grunt on May 06, 2009, 12:35:49 am
I don't get the unix/ubuntu ones. The rest I do get.


they also work in OSX


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King Munkey

Unfortunately I lack knowledge in that area too :/

G_G Is my hero!
Munkey != monkey
Munkey > monkey

tSwitch

this one is more of a riddle than a joke.

Spoiler: ShowHide
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
20
22
24
31
100
[ ? ]
10000

find ?


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Blizzard

Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

tSwitch



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Blizzard

Oh wait, you're serious? I have no idea. ;_; That number sequence makes no sense to me.
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

tSwitch

May 06, 2009, 11:51:18 am #22 Last Edit: May 06, 2009, 01:38:50 pm by Elite Four NAMKCOR
Quote from: Rival Blizzard on May 06, 2009, 11:41:39 am
Oh wait, you're serious? I have no idea. ;_; That number sequence makes no sense to me.


there is a pattern to it, it's just very well hidden.

Quote<NAMKCOR> sudo chown -r NAMKCOR /Blizzard
<NAMKCOR> sudo chmod 644 /Blizzard
<Blizzard> ;_;


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Blizzard

I was on the right track for a moment, but I abandoned that idea because I made a mistake at the beginning. I know what the solution is now.
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

legacyblade

May 07, 2009, 03:17:01 pm #24 Last Edit: May 07, 2009, 03:19:15 pm by Gym Leader Blades
Quote from: Elite Four NAMKCOR on May 04, 2009, 09:49:04 am
QuoteEight bytes walk into a bar.  The bartender asks, "Can I get you anything?"
"Yeah," reply the bytes.  "Make us a double."


Quote"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
very long pause....
"Java."


Spoiler: ShowHide


Quote
The programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can't find a girlfriend with a good <HEAD> on her <BODY>, reason 0 being that he has limited cache.  So he searches his memory to recall connecting to the TCP/IP tunnel of his last girlfriend -- sometimes even without a secure socket.  His last girlfriend always complained about his lack of comments. He fumed, "I hate commenting!"  Realizing it was a program requirement, he told her she had nice bits.  This resulted in a Syntax Error.  Now she demanded a massage, but this was rejected as "Feature Creep."  He smacked her back-end and shouted, "Who's your parent node?!"  He scanned for open ports.  He attempted to install a backdoor worm but her response was 403.  While his data uploaded into her input device, she considered terminating the process.  But instead she initiated a Do While loop where she recalled a previous boyfriend with a larger pointer.  To expedite the routine routine, she screamed, "Hack into my system! Hack deep into my system! You're 1337, baby!"  This caused his stack to overflow, and he shot his GUI on her interface.



It's sad that I actually get all of those...

My favorite one has to be the comic where the kid wrote a program on the board that would print the sentence 100 times.

tSwitch

Quote from: Gym Leader Blades on May 07, 2009, 03:17:01 pm
My favorite one has to be the comic where the kid wrote a program on the board that would print the sentence 100 times.


500


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Sally

grr namk you truly are a GEEK!
i cant figure this one out... like blizzard said the number sequence makes no sense!~

tSwitch

Quote from: Lass Sally on May 07, 2009, 07:12:03 pm
grr namk you truly are a GEEK!
i cant figure this one out... like blizzard said the number sequence makes no sense!~


thank you.
and it makes plenty of sense.


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legacyblade

I meant to type 500, I'm just tired from rewriting this stupid essay over and over.

Blizzard

Quote from: Lass Sally on May 07, 2009, 07:12:03 pm
grr namk you truly are a GEEK!
i cant figure this one out... like blizzard said the number sequence makes no sense!~


Quote from: Rival Blizzard on May 06, 2009, 02:50:35 pm
I was on the right track for a moment, but I abandoned that idea because I made a mistake at the beginning. I know what the solution is now.


It makes a lot of sense. But it's not as obvious as NAMK is claiming. It's more of a mathematical riddle rather than a computer science riddle.
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Sally

x+(x+2) ? :( i cant figure it out

tSwitch

I never said it was obvious, I said it was very well hidden.
All I said was that it makes perfect sense.


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Blizzard

Yes, you did. You told me that in IRC. ._.
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

fugibo


tSwitch

Quote from: Rival Blizzard on May 08, 2009, 11:41:45 am
Yes, you did. You told me that in IRC. ._.


I told you that if I gave you a hint, that it'd become obvious. at least to you.

Quote from: Biker WcW on May 08, 2009, 11:50:18 am
PLURFECT NUMBARS


so then what number should replace [ ? ]


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fugibo

Crap. I think I just figured it out. I can't believe I didn't notice that X|

DO NOT READ: ShowHide

Decreasing bases?

I mean, it goes base-8, base-4, base-2...

tSwitch

Quote from: Biker WcW on May 08, 2009, 01:25:38 pm
Crap. I think I just figured it out. I can't believe I didn't notice that X|

DO NOT READ: ShowHide

Decreasing bases?

I mean, it goes base-8, base-4, base-2...



I want the answer, I'm not here to give hints.


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fugibo

Spoiler: ShowHide

1000

Prolly not, but oh well. I don't feel like using my head too much today.

Blizzard

Can I tell him, please? ;_;
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

King Munkey


G_G Is my hero!
Munkey != monkey
Munkey > monkey

tSwitch

Quote from: Biker WcW on May 08, 2009, 04:29:07 pm
Spoiler: ShowHide

1000

Prolly not, but oh well. I don't feel like using my head too much today.


no.

Quote from: Rival Blizzard on May 08, 2009, 04:47:28 pm
Can I tell him, please? ;_;


no.

Quote from: Rocket Grunt on May 08, 2009, 05:12:20 pm
You can tell me


no.


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Sally

can you give me a hint? im not smart like blizzard =[


tSwitch

Quote from: Lass Sally on May 08, 2009, 05:56:39 pm
can you give me a hint? im not smart like blizzard =[




no, sorry.


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fugibo

May 08, 2009, 06:47:19 pm #43 Last Edit: May 08, 2009, 06:55:03 pm by Biker WcW
Is being a sadist fun?

Will you tell me the answer?

tSwitch



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fugibo

I retcon my statement, and now you are obligated to tell me the answer.

tSwitch

Quote from: Biker WcW on May 08, 2009, 06:55:27 pm
I retcon my statement, and now you are obligated to tell me the answer.


I didn't answer the part written in black ;)


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fugibo

HAHA! I KNEW IT! YOU ARE USING THE DARK THEME!

Therefore, the answer is 10, for binary 3.

or

Spoiler: ShowHide

100, as 100 * 100 = 10000


Yes, another guess.

winkio

Ha, I got the answer.  I'll pm it to you, or drop it by in chat when no one else is around.

tSwitch

Quote from: Biker WcW on May 08, 2009, 10:49:49 pm
HAHA! I KNEW IT! YOU ARE USING THE DARK THEME!

Therefore, the answer is 10, for binary 3.

or

Spoiler: ShowHide

100, as 100 * 100 = 10000


Yes, another guess.


no.

Quote from: winkio on May 08, 2009, 11:33:33 pm
Ha, I got the answer.  I'll pm it to you, or drop it by in chat when no one else is around.


you win, great job.


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winkio

Yay, time to go eat some cookies that are conveniently sitting in my kitchen!

COOKIES!!!!!!  (homemade FTW)

Blizzard

Quote from: Lass Sally on May 08, 2009, 05:56:39 pm
can you give me a hint? im not smart like blizzard =[




I'm not smart. I'm just good at being awesome.
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Sally

Can you give me a hint? im not as awesome as blizzard is.

G_G

Quote from: Elite Four NAMKCOR on May 04, 2009, 09:49:04 am


Spoiler: ShowHide





PLace this in a script above main
Spoiler: ShowHide
loop do
  if $game_variables == nil
    $game_variables = Game_Variables.new
  end
  print "I will not throw paper airplanes in class."
  $game_variables[1] += 1
  if $game_variables[1] == 500
    break
  end
end

Blizzard

Spoiler: ShowHide
500.times {p 'I will not throw paper airplanes in class.'}


EDIT: That actually works.
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

fugibo

May 09, 2009, 04:11:25 pm #55 Last Edit: May 09, 2009, 05:09:23 pm by Biker WcW
Quote from: Youngster Gi Gi on May 09, 2009, 02:32:15 pm
Quote from: Elite Four NAMKCOR on May 04, 2009, 09:49:04 am


Spoiler: ShowHide





PLace this in a script above main
Spoiler: ShowHide
loop do
  if $game_variables == nil
    $game_variables = Game_Variables.new
  end
  print "I will not throw paper airplanes in class."
  $game_variables[1] += 1
  if $game_variables[1] == 500
    break
  end
end



I think you've won the award for most useless and overly complex code. Why use $game_variables at all? That's just pointless.

EDIT: Yah, sorry. I didn't want to be mean with that, G_G X(

Blizzard

Don't be mean, he doesn't know better. He probably thought that $game_variables had to initialized since it contains variables. ._.

Spoiler: ShowHide
var = 0
loop do
  print "I will not throw paper airplanes in class."
  var += 1
  if var == 500
    break
  end
end
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

fugibo


#include <iostream>

int main () {
  for (int n = 0; n < 500; ++n)
    std::cout << "I will not throw paper airplanes in class" << (n == 499 ? "." : ";") << std::endl;
}


C++ makes short code shorter

Blizzard

Quote from: Rival Blizzard on May 09, 2009, 03:10:48 pm
500.times {p 'I will not throw paper airplanes in class.'}



:naughty:
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

fugibo

May 09, 2009, 05:31:48 pm #59 Last Edit: May 09, 2009, 05:32:50 pm by Biker WcW
Quote from: Rival Blizzard on May 09, 2009, 05:26:38 pm
Quote from: Rival Blizzard on May 09, 2009, 03:10:48 pm
500.times {p 'I will not throw paper airplanes in class.'}



:naughty:


Ruby makes short code slower

EDIT:

print "I will not throw paper airplanes in class.\n" * 500

Yes, in your face.

G_G

Quote from: Rival Blizzard on May 09, 2009, 04:14:51 pm
Don't be mean, he doesn't know better. He probably thought that $game_variables had to initialized since it contains variables. ._.

Spoiler: ShowHide
var = 0
loop do
  print "I will not throw paper airplanes in class."
  var += 1
  if var == 500
    break
  end
end



Blizzard I tried that and it didnt work. The only different is that I had this

Spoiler: ShowHide

printed = 0
loop do
  print "I will not throw paper airplanes in class."
  printed += 1
  if printed == 500
    break
  end
end


But it didnt work.

Blizzard

Because "print" doesn't work that well in RGSS. Use "p" instead.

@WcW: Not really. Getting 500 times a pop up screen owns the same text on one window. Also, it won't work properly in RGSS.

In your face:

p "I will not throw paper airplanes in class.\n" * 500


:D
Check out Daygames and our games:

King of Booze 2      King of Booze: Never Ever
Drinking Game for Android      Never have I ever for Android
Drinking Game for iOS      Never have I ever for iOS


Quote from: winkioI do not speak to bricks, either as individuals or in wall form.

Quote from: Barney StinsonWhen I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

fugibo

May 09, 2009, 06:36:39 pm #62 Last Edit: May 09, 2009, 06:56:41 pm by Biker WcW
Oh, I assumed we were talking Ruby, not RGSS, which sucks a billion times more. Do you have any experience with plain ruby/standard library? Just wondering.

EDIT:
I just tested it, and even the top speed of your method was 3ms slower that the worst speed of my method; I got up to 8-10ms faster than you at times, and other times it was up to 20ms.

EDIT2:
After changing 500 to 1,000,000 in both of our implementations, blizzard, mine beat yours by a whopping 6 seconds, mine taking 76ms and yours taking ~6.6 each time. (I piped output from both to /dev/null to eliminate the time it took to print it out to the shell, for a better comparison ;)

Scripts: ShowHide

Blizzard's method:

#! /usr/bin/ruby

1000000.times { p "I will not throw paper airplanes.\n" }


My method:

#! /usr/bin/ruby

print "I will not throw paper airplanes.\n" * 1000000


Using this code to test from bash, after chmod'ing both files:

time ./blizz-method.rb >> /dev/null
time ./wcw-method.rb >> /dev/null


Of course, I tested both multiple times to ensure accuracy ;)



Sally

why are the code boxes only 1line long?!!?!~

G_G

Use Opera. I.E. isnt good when displaying Code Boxes.

fugibo

Or Safari 3/4. Fx works well though. Blizz is just too lazy to fix Safari (and presumably Chrome, since they both use WebKit)

Sally


tSwitch

Quote from: Biker WcW on May 09, 2009, 05:12:08 pm

#include <iostream>

int main () {
  for (int n = 0; n < 500; ++n)
    std::cout << "I will not throw paper airplanes in class" << [b](n == 499 ? "." : ";")[/b] << std::endl;
}


C++ makes short code shorter


the bolded part seems like a pointless check, tbh.
you also forgot to return 0 from main, even though you used int main ;)

#include <iostream>

void main () {
 for (int n = 0; n < 500; n++)
   std::cout << "I will not throw paper airplanes in class.\n";
}


I think that's as short as it gets.


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fugibo

Argh! G++ never gives me errors when I don't return, so I hadn't thought about it. The only reason I even use "int" usually is because SDL requires it.

G_G

Quote from: Biker WcW on May 09, 2009, 11:03:01 pm
Argh! G++ never gives me errors when I don't return, so I hadn't thought about it. The only reason I even use "int" usually is because SDL requires it.


G++ or C++? Is there a program called G++? O.o

fugibo

G++ (or gpp) is the GNU C++ Compiler. I use it OSX, 'cuz it's what comes with OSX, and it works well.
Anyway...

I vote that we make a new nerd forum that only nerds can join, and we post this crap there. Or maybe I need to sleep. I like cheese, we need our cheese emoticon back.

Vell

I SAY - HECK NO! leave the nerds to post here. we ALL are nerds anyway.

Blizzard

Quote from: Biker WcW on May 09, 2009, 06:36:39 pm
Oh, I assumed we were talking Ruby, not RGSS, which sucks a billion times more. Do you have any experience with plain ruby/standard library? Just wondering.

EDIT:
I just tested it, and even the top speed of your method was 3ms slower that the worst speed of my method; I got up to 8-10ms faster than you at times, and other times it was up to 20ms.

EDIT2:
After changing 500 to 1,000,000 in both of our implementations, blizzard, mine beat yours by a whopping 6 seconds, mine taking 76ms and yours taking ~6.6 each time. (I piped output from both to /dev/null to eliminate the time it took to print it out to the shell, for a better comparison ;)

Scripts: ShowHide

Blizzard's method:

#! /usr/bin/ruby

1000000.times { p "I will not throw paper airplanes.\n" }


My method:

#! /usr/bin/ruby

print "I will not throw paper airplanes.\n" * 1000000


Using this code to test from bash, after chmod'ing both files:

time ./blizz-method.rb >> /dev/null
time ./wcw-method.rb >> /dev/null


Of course, I tested both multiple times to ensure accuracy ;)



Doesn't surprise me. "p" is a built-in method in RGSS that extends "print" hence it's slower. There's also "puts" in Ruby. Also, obviously sending stuff to the I/O 1000000 times is slower than concatening a string 1000000 times. And you never said the code is supposed to be fastest. I thought we were just messing around with shortness. :P

Quote from: Lass Sally on May 09, 2009, 09:49:23 pm
why are the code boxes only 1line long?!!?!~


IDK, they worked fine for me in Chrome and IE while others were reporting the same problem.
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Gabbergon

Quote from: Elite Four NAMKCOR on May 06, 2009, 10:55:47 am
Spoiler: ShowHide
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find ?



finally I found ?
I know for sure it is what i think

fugibo

I had to google it.

Gabber, I highly doubt you got it if it's what I think it is, unless you learned a lot from a certain post by a certain annoying preteen >_<



And that's just more of a noticing problem, you only have to know some basic parts of math to get it, it's just noticing it (and I feel like an idiot for not, I thought it was a totally different type of problem)

Gabbergon

google it... crap that i didnt thought bout that

indeed it seems i wasn't correct :(

fugibo

I don't blame you, I didn't think of it either. I doubt almost anybody would.