To improve it, here are some tips:
- If you still insist on using a story like you have in your first post try and make a better story because it's pretty clichéd.
If you don't know what I mean with clichéd, I mean your using the same bland story plot of many rpgs which is very cheap. A badass nemesis pops out of nowhere wanting to destroy the world/universe and only you and a bunch of strangers can do anything to beat him and save the world.
Try make your story more interesting, asking help on forums is not a bad thing either.
- Your mapping needs serious work. You put large maps but put only a random thing here and there making these maps big, empty and bland.
There are several tutorials on how you can improve your mappings so unless you hire someone to map for you, you better start seeing some tutorials.
- If you insist on using mog scripts PLEASE, please use custom pictures and don't fill all your screenshots with nothing but showing mog menus. People want to see screenshots of the game, they want to see pictures that will make them curious about your project not how cool these scripts look.
And least but not least important, if your prepared on listing your project don't rage if people respond harshly or give you bad feedback, maybe they are right even though they responded a little harshly.
There could be more things but these where the most flaws I found by looking at your screens and reading your story losing interest instantly.